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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2208812 times)

Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4320 on: April 19, 2011, 03:02:34 pm »
Indeed. Luckily, well-placed barracks, extreme training, and a lack of attribute rust won out against my lackadaisical approach to armouring, and later on one of my dwarves chased down four fleeing goblins in the length of one area tile. I built bolt-stopping pillars to protect you all, stop running out into the mountainous open you dumbass.

I currently have the attributes rates set to the values in the 'cheating' part of the wiki. I think I'll reduce the gain rate to 10, as my military are all Charles Atlas.
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on July 22, 2012, 03:32:08 pm
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

Vehudur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4321 on: April 19, 2011, 04:02:34 pm »
The fate of my latest fortress after I accidentally breach the local magma pipe...

Magma + coal bunker = !!Bituminous Coal!!

!!Bituminous Coal!! + Dumb Dwarf = !!Dwarf!!

!!Dwarf!! + Ale stockpile = Booze explosion.

Booze explosion + !!Dwarf!! + 6 other dwarves = 7 dead dwarves.

7 dead dwarves = Tantrum spiral.
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

Flying Dice

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4322 on: April 19, 2011, 07:33:17 pm »
An axedwarf of mine just punched a tentacle off of a green devourer while holding it in his mouth...  ???
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Karnewarrior

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4323 on: April 19, 2011, 07:38:00 pm »
how do you punch off a tentcle in the first place?
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EmeraldWind

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4324 on: April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm »
Quote from: Karnewarrior on April 19, 2011, 07:38:00 pm
how do you punch off a tentcle in the first place?

From the sounds of it, you hold the tentacle in your mouth to keep it from moving. Then you punch. If this doesn't work you can play quite the amusing game of paddle ball until it does.

I notice dwarves really like to bite and shake lately. I had a couple of amusing sounding combat logs involving dwarves biting trolls and shaking them by their feet and one time where two dwarves bit onto a troll's ear... it was the same ear, but I like to imagine the troll walking around with a pair of literal dwarf earrings chomping on his lobes. Sometimes though, the log actually sounds like a decent tactic, like a dwarf who bit a goblin's arm and then used his sword to cut off the arm... seemingly without letting go of the bite. Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...
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Syrup Roast

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4325 on: April 20, 2011, 04:34:15 am »
Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm
Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...
In the earlier days of my current fort, one of my dwarves bit a swamp titan in the mouth. From behind.

He might be referencing something there, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
« Last Edit: April 20, 2011, 04:44:33 am by Syrup Roast »
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Quote from: Necro910 on June 07, 2011, 11:48:49 am
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Karnewarrior

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4326 on: April 20, 2011, 06:27:20 am »
Quote from: Syrup Roast on April 20, 2011, 04:34:15 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm
Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...
In the earlier days of my current fort, one of my dwarves bit a swamp titan in the mouth. From behind.

He might be referencing something there, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
2 Dwarves 1 Titan.
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Fahgo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4327 on: April 20, 2011, 01:02:35 pm »
discovering levers linked to cages will always open the cage no mater which way the lever is pulled (unlike with doors/bridges/etc).

finding this out after I'd linked the lever to a cage containing a Hydra. lukily the "Live Target Training Room" was next to my danger room. troops on hand to deal with my goof before any coffins were required. still... oops.
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Samuel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4328 on: April 20, 2011, 03:13:12 pm »
I am fairly certain my insane dwarves outnumber the sane ones.
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darkflagrance

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4329 on: April 20, 2011, 03:38:48 pm »
Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm
Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...

I just had my Great Badgerman in object arena mode rip out all of his opponent Pandashi's teeth...through biting!

Rough kissing, perhaps?
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NightS

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4330 on: April 20, 2011, 04:20:09 pm »
I just... killed a dragon bashing him in the face with my -Bronze shield-...

For fucks sake, it doesnt even menace with spikes, how the hell could my adventurer kill that with a single hit?

(Ok, he has superhuman strenght, and what? only a bronze colossus should be able to do that :P)

Also, i died later because a damn goblin bowman shot me in leg and i collapsed because of the pain. Then someone kicked my head to death. (what the hell, some damn hobo goblins kill the legendary adventurer because of that damn arrow?)

In conclussion: !!FUN!!
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Vorthon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4331 on: April 21, 2011, 08:33:25 am »
Quote from: Karnewarrior on April 20, 2011, 06:27:20 am
Quote from: Syrup Roast on April 20, 2011, 04:34:15 am
Quote from: EmeraldWind on April 19, 2011, 10:51:55 pm
Other times you end up with dwarves biting onto things better left unbitten... like a elephant tusk or a kobold's front top tooth...
In the earlier days of my current fort, one of my dwarves bit a swamp titan in the mouth. From behind.

He might be referencing something there, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
2 Dwarves 1 Titan.

Thank you for causing me to require brain bleach. *shudders*
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Fahgo

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4332 on: April 21, 2011, 03:41:06 pm »
so i've just had another siege.
first facepalm: i was going to let the goblins mince themselves on my traps again. one of my axe dwarves decided otherwise and wandered outside. so i order my squads to move inside to get the idiot to stop screwing up my plans. nope... spots a troll before getting the hint. gets stuck in a charge-stunned loop with the trolls. he's too stunned to kill them and his armour is too good for them to hurt him. the rest of the siege catches up so i decide to send out the rest of the squads. thus begins a gobbo massacre (damn that's gonna be a lot to clean up  ::) ). now... as my fort is on top of a volcanoe i've walled off a nice little battle area for just such an occasion. yeah... like they're gonna stay there for more than 10 seconds  ::) . for some reason the rest of the battle lands up being fought teetering on the edge of said volcanoe. not in any of the nice open space. nope that would be the safe and smart thing to do. and so...
second facepalm: as i'm sure you can guess... one of my hammer dwarves now needs a memorial. here's hoping my armour and weapon smiths dont start tantruming over all the kit he just took with him  >:(
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Garbles

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4333 on: April 21, 2011, 08:30:45 pm »
Quote from: Fahgo on April 21, 2011, 03:41:06 pm
so i've just had another siege.
first facepalm: i was going to let the goblins mince themselves on my traps again. one of my axe dwarves decided otherwise and wandered outside. so i order my squads to move inside to get the idiot to stop screwing up my plans. nope... spots a troll before getting the hint. gets stuck in a charge-stunned loop with the trolls. he's too stunned to kill them and his armour is too good for them to hurt him. the rest of the siege catches up so i decide to send out the rest of the squads. thus begins a gobbo massacre (damn that's gonna be a lot to clean up  ::) ). now... as my fort is on top of a volcanoe i've walled off a nice little battle area for just such an occasion. yeah... like they're gonna stay there for more than 10 seconds  ::) . for some reason the rest of the battle lands up being fought teetering on the edge of said volcanoe. not in any of the nice open space. nope that would be the safe and smart thing to do. and so...
second facepalm: as i'm sure you can guess... one of my hammer dwarves now needs a memorial. here's hoping my armour and weapon smiths dont start tantruming over all the kit he just took with him  >:(
I've had that happen before. I got ambushed really early on a reclaim (hadn't even finished collecting the leftover stuff from outside) so I drafted two miners to sacrifice while the mason walled off the entrance. They actually caught two loners and didn't get scratched, and were doing well against the last four. Then the hammerdwarf got brained, and the axedwarf dodged into the volcano.

On the plus side, he spotted a adamantine vein before he melted completely.
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EmeraldWind

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4334 on: April 21, 2011, 11:36:50 pm »
Quote from: Garbles on April 21, 2011, 08:30:45 pm
On the plus side, he spotted a adamantine vein before he melted completely.

Urist: Noooooooooo! It buuuuuuuuuuuuuurns! ... Waitasecond! HEY GUYS! THERE'S ADAMANTINE OVER THERE! PRAISE BE THE MINERS! *sizzle*
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