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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2213468 times)

Valdrax

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4980 on: September 06, 2011, 03:30:50 am »

I just found out that the Trade Depot has a search function from the Little Questions thread.
My head hurts and my desk it mysteriously cracked, but I can't remember why...
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The history of a good fortress is not written in blood, it's painted on the walls by the hand of a melancholy orphan.

darthbob88

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4981 on: September 06, 2011, 10:57:59 am »

I used Reveal to do some scouting, find a decent place to site fort, find magma, all that. I made it through the first year or so before I discovered that my proposed fortress site would require punching through a large underground lake. A very large lake, too much to easily drain. Fortunately, I have a plan. Some layers above the lake is an aquifer outcropping, just large enough to provide an infinite source of secure water etc, and an infinite water drain. I shall build a pump stack, having gotten quite good at them, and feed the lake into the aquifer some layers above it. I could use the Moses effect, I could simply punch down through an alternate path, but I'm going to use aquifers, pump stacks, and moderately deep magics to drain the lake. All of the lake. Bask in AWE at my dwarfiness!!!!
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Shurhaian

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4982 on: September 06, 2011, 11:17:58 am »

That's not a facepalm. A facepalm is when you e.g. make the attempt, but leave something unsealed, and flood the entire lower portion of it in your attempts to get above the aquifer.
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My guards need something better to do than make my nobles happy with hugs and justice.

darthbob88

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4983 on: September 06, 2011, 11:27:30 am »

That's not a facepalm. A facepalm is when you e.g. make the attempt, but leave something unsealed, and flood the entire lower portion of it in your attempts to get above the aquifer.
I haven't actually tried it yet, it may very well end in tears. I posted it here because I didn't care enough to make a new thread for "Bask in my Dwarven Awesomeness!"

Edit: Finally tried it. It failed due to pressure concerns; if I want to drain anything into an aquifer, it must be pressurised relative to the aquifer, rather than simply pressurised to the level of the aquifer. Now for plan No.2- drain the lake into the cavern below.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2011, 09:40:43 am by darthbob88 »
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nightwhips

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4984 on: September 06, 2011, 01:23:10 pm »

I suck at teh channeling, apparently. I was making a reservoir and had the dorfs digging it out, two legendary miners, and realized they weren't moving around anymore, and they were thirsty. Somehow, I ruined the stairs. Then it was a race to dig out - about 15 tiles from freedom they both started verimin hunting. Luckily a new migrant miner had show up and was tunneling toward them from the other side. Both survived.
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: Miner dwarves? In my volcano?

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They die, and their parents care nothing because legendary dining room.

Tiruin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4985 on: September 07, 2011, 05:34:24 am »

So starting fort, we dig straight down and forge a fortress right under your feet. Here come thieves! Autumn (or so I guess) first year, I view the civilizations. Kobold and Goblin, nothing bad. My two military founders can handle it, suited in full iron with steel axes and shields. Helmless though.

Then A VILE FORCE OF DARKNESS HAS ARRIVED!

South of my fort and on a mountain peak I find a squad of Goblin ARCHERS led by a Giant toad!

With no doors for my entrance I do the most logical thing a dwarf could.

Charge!!!

Two versus 15, what was I thinking?

"Oh damn, there goes another fort, ahh I can see the arrows flying down now...I'm doomed..."


But to my surprise, the archers were just aiming to suppress the charging dwarves. They entered martial trances and blocked/dodged and weaved their way through the lines of - . Kind of reminded me of the Matrix.

They took down the toad by beating it against the mountain wall then cut the archers up. Not a single scar or wound, their shields were gleaming with the sun's rays as they bore marks of tens of arrows. The reports were awesome.



To my surprise, it was a diversion. Goblin master thieves snuck in my fort and kidnapped 2 children of one of the recruits. She went berserk, cut apart most of the civilians before being put down by the founding duo. From 25 to 12...I'd rather have taken an arrow to the chest...


EDIT: In addition to that, I learned that building a floor on above ground will not cause vermin to spawn on the built floor if enclosed by walls and doors. That was after I spent most of my embark points on anti-vermin measures.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2011, 08:15:56 am by Tiruin »
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krodalmighty

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4986 on: September 07, 2011, 11:29:05 pm »

I'm just starting dwarf fortress, so I'm sure I'm performing facepalm worthy actions every second w/o realizing it yet . .

but my second attempt at a fort just now went something like this:
-spend lots of time digging out detailed rooms according to things i learned the first time
-cant find soil/clay so work out extremely crude plot to drain water from a lake thru the room
-against all odds plot succeeds, but by the time im almost done draining autumn arrives and the rains start
-shed manly tears of forebearance as i realize the rain is filling the lake faster than its draining, but surely that cant go on forever, right?
-lake is almost drained FINALLY
-BAM winter hits. lake im draining from and its drainage point freeze. leaving me with a 3or 4 deep lake underground.
-Dorfs cant find water outside, i unlock the door to the lake, but they wont go to it for some reason, maybe because its flush up against the water?
-thirst death -> tantrum -> thirst death ->tantrum . . . etc
-rage@tiny retards
-i resign to watching my dwarves die since i dont know what else to do

they call this FUN right?

those beards dont fool me, dorfs are just downs kids in disguise
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geoduck

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4987 on: September 08, 2011, 03:08:06 am »

-Dorfs cant find water outside, i unlock the door to the lake, but they wont go to it for some reason, maybe because its flush up against the water?
-thirst death -> tantrum -> thirst death ->tantrum . . . etc

Dwarves prefer booze, and only drink water if they are desperate. Forcing them to go outside to drink makes things worse. When you embark, bring along at least a year's worth of booze with you.
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Quantumtroll

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4988 on: September 08, 2011, 04:07:38 am »

To my surprise, it was a diversion. Goblin master thieves snuck in my fort and kidnapped 2 children of one of the recruits. She went berserk, cut apart most of the civilians before being put down by the founding duo. From 25 to 12...I'd rather have taken an arrow to the chest...
She went berserk because her children got kidnapped?  The parents of my kidnappees have never seemed to care. 

I applaud the goblin strategist who decided that psychological warfare was the way to go ;)
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EmeraldWind

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4989 on: September 08, 2011, 10:03:08 am »

To my surprise, it was a diversion. Goblin master thieves snuck in my fort and kidnapped 2 children of one of the recruits. She went berserk, cut apart most of the civilians before being put down by the founding duo. From 25 to 12...I'd rather have taken an arrow to the chest...
She went berserk because her children got kidnapped?  The parents of my kidnappees have never seemed to care. 

I applaud the goblin strategist who decided that psychological warfare was the way to go ;)

Usually, the kidnapping of one child can be negated by the current happiness of the dwarf, but you take away two kids and the fact that the mother was only a recruit (and therefore livid due to military related angst) it probably was the breaking point.

I had a whole bunch of recruits go berserk and kill each other when I drafted them. Luckily, they decided to go nuts in the danger room which was locked. Granted the fact one of them died in the danger room probably didn't help.
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krodalmighty

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4990 on: September 08, 2011, 02:47:02 pm »

-Dorfs cant find water outside, i unlock the door to the lake, but they wont go to it for some reason, maybe because its flush up against the water?
-thirst death -> tantrum -> thirst death ->tantrum . . . etc

Dwarves prefer booze, and only drink water if they are desperate. Forcing them to go outside to drink makes things worse. When you embark, bring along at least a year's worth of booze with you.

ugh, facepalm. thanks for the info
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darthbob88

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4991 on: September 08, 2011, 07:13:09 pm »

That's not a facepalm. A facepalm is when you e.g. make the attempt, but leave something unsealed, and flood the entire lower portion of it in your attempts to get above the aquifer.
I haven't actually tried it yet, it may very well end in tears. I posted it here because I didn't care enough to make a new thread for "Bask in my Dwarven Awesomeness!"

Edit: Finally tried it. It failed due to pressure concerns; if I want to drain anything into an aquifer, it must be pressurised relative to the aquifer, rather than simply pressurised to the level of the aquifer. Now for plan No.2- drain the lake into the cavern below.
Decided to save-scum back to before this all went pear-shaped and try this business again, building a higher stack to provide sufficient pressure. Ran into some power problems, but the legit facepalm: I built everything perfectly, all the pumps were powered, everything that should have been sealed was sealed, barring a few access ways that were simply doored. HOWEVER! Between one layer of pumps and the next, there was a disconnect, so that pump Delta did not, in fact, feed into pump Echo, and the pump stack did not pump everything out. I done goofed.

ETA: After much save-scumming, I've gotten a system that should work the way I intend it to, with the pumps and the pressure and the draining to the aquifer, and I've just noticed that the lake I've been attempting to drain is actually sourced water of nigh-infinite quantity and undrainable. Time for a new world that's not quite so wet.
« Last Edit: September 09, 2011, 10:42:51 am by darthbob88 »
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omg_scout

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4992 on: September 09, 2011, 11:46:14 am »

Once I had young fort, but all important industries was started, pack of 5 militas partly armoured in armour, and wielding iron weapons were ready.

I usually plant some traps outside of the forts, which make my animal stockpile full of goblins and kobold thieves...

Big time to give my militia some training in freshly mined arena!

So, 1vs1 with goblin invaders went good, same with wild animals I cought.

But, there was THE GUY left in cages. Filthy Thief, who got cought while trying to steal some shit from my fort. So, put the cage in arena, link with lever, and go have some fun Urist McBestSoldier.

Of course, he got killed by thief.

Thief then unlocked doors and got out... just to meet 4 of my remaining military, equipped in iron of course. Having slaughtered em all, he got cought again in the same trap. o_O
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MarcAFK

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4993 on: September 09, 2011, 12:28:37 pm »

Should have stripped his weapon while he was caked.
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

omg_scout

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #4994 on: September 09, 2011, 01:15:40 pm »

Not Dwarfy. ^^
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