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[deoxys413]

Modded my dwarves to [SPEED:0] to hasten construction. In the middle of this building a siege happens and for the most part the marauding band of cross-gobbos kept to themselves. THen as they kill a human resident of the map they get the Bohrok-like urge to CLEAN (points for getting reference in full) and proceed up the stairs at warp factor 9 to clean the mess the gobbos made while they are still there! They'd zoom past the gobbos and stop in the middle of them to clean and run away again because of the danger. Before I had things under control again 7 had deid including a mason and a legendary trader, but the mayor who also did this got of scott free. This is the same one that ended his mandate for pig iron so a metalcrafter lost his head over that as well.

*double facepalm*

[PringleMan5]

I have a couple from the original handful of forts I made.

My favorite facepalm is actually on behalf of the dwarf that was victimized. I reclaimed a fort that I had been spending a LOT of time working on. Basically I wanted to make a nice fort with a pretty front for a change, and I had finally gotten a map that was all flat except for the lower left hand corner which dropped 5 Z-levels, but also had a river on the top level so it was going to be EASY to set up great defenses and an almost natural cistern.

Anyways I had finally finished the landscaping after sacrificing dozens of dwarf settlers to the cave in gods. I abandoned and reclaimed with a proper team of settlers (instead of what amounted to all miners for the landscaping) and got ready to settle down and make my fort. One of the annoying things that I have noticed about reclaims is that even if you seal all of the goods from a previous embark into a room deep under ground, it still ends of scattered everywhere. So I took the time before unpausing to claim everything and lay down am everything pile to have the settlers collect all of the goods (it amounted to clothes for 10 dwarfs, almost 90 units of booze and food, tools, another anvil, and a ton of un-used barrels) and then unpaused. My primary miner dwarf took four steps to pick up a seed, tripped on a rock, and shattered his left leg.

This was annoying to say the least, but I did have a doctor dwarf in my team and some cloth so I figured at the very least he can go and clean the wound, bandage him up, and give him water and food to keep him from death until later. Not a single dwarf helped him. Not one. He was sitting next to the wagon, bleeding, dehydrated and hungry with an infection and not a single swarf helped him. I figured that they had gotten overloaded with haul orders or maybe I did not have a bucket. So I verified that I did indeed have an empty bucket and I removed all jobs except for health care from my doctor dwarf. Nothing. So the miner died of dehydration from a broken leg right next to my embark point.

He must have been a real dick though cause none of the dwarfs in the party were even upset that he had died.

[geoduck]

This was annoying to say the least, but I did have a doctor dwarf in my team and some cloth so I figured at the very least he can go and clean the wound, bandage him up, and give him water and food to keep him from death until later. Not a single dwarf helped him. Not one. He was sitting next to the wagon, bleeding, dehydrated and hungry with an infection and not a single swarf helped him. I figured that they had gotten overloaded with haul orders or maybe I did not have a bucket. So I verified that I did indeed have an empty bucket and I removed all jobs except for health care from my doctor dwarf. Nothing. So the miner died of dehydration from a broken leg right next to my embark point.

Did you set up an official hospital zone, with a bed? The doctor can't do anything without one..

[PringleMan5]

I did, though only shortly before he died. He actually fought off the infection (only second time I have ever seen that actually happen) so what killed him in the end was the dehydration. All of the dwarves should have been helping with that regardless of location.

[celem]

I set up a cage with a tame animal in my meeting hall, then decided to conserve on my dwindling supply of cages (traps running overtime) i'd move all critters to that one cage.

Hadnt realised that moving a non-tame animal's cage off the stockpile made it break lose.....a deer escaped a bust my master farmer's foot right open as well as doing the same to his left hand.

Being year 1 autumn i had no doctor and no hospital, done what i can but with an untrained doc and no soap or casts.......my fingers are crossed but this is a facepalm in the making...i see it coming, i got him all patched up but only noticed now (6 months after his injury) that he's being brought saltwater 

On a related note (damn critters) I got a swarm (troop) of reesus macaques come through my area, the buggers appeared to want in and overwhelmed my cage traps killing 2 berry pickers before a woodcutter minced them up.......I watched the poor dwarves lying there ages before realising I had no graveyard, once i designated one I then made the oversight of placing it in my fortress entrance..not all of which was channeled out overhead.  Between the deaths and the later miasma (was away down piercing an acquifer and wasnt watching the surface) I had a tantrum spiral, not awful with my 35 dwarves but unpleasant nonetheless.

I didnt quit that save, tried to extricate myself....and start a desalinization process on my local brook.  My first ever attempt with screw pumps......3 drowned miners due to a gap in the wall and neglecting to build an out-ramp.....another spiral...now 1 mad dwarf remains....lol.

[eggrock]

I did, though only shortly before he died. He actually fought off the infection (only second time I have ever seen that actually happen) so what killed him in the end was the dehydration. All of the dwarves should have been helping with that regardless of location.

Lol, yep, just went through the same with around four gobbos--I had 12-15 designated for sale to the elves but managed to catch the rest in time. Nothing worse than a few short Rest statuses.

Some moments:

Designating ~12k worth of various 60-240 value goods, then realizing I was trading with elves. Instead of ESC/reorder I tried deselecting all the wood out of the ungodly amount of stuff for sale. I missed something. (.12 so no really negative consequences.)

Digging out a pit filled with spike traps linked to a plate that didn't work--I still don't know why. Then dumping those 12-15 gobbos, wounding all moderately and getting "_____ canceled, interrupted by [gobbo]". The d-b-d/d-k commands didn't disarm them, perhaps because the caves were not uilt. (Still a noob)

Stranding legendary miner in a 4x1xMany chain of pending magma pumps. He was very near death at a save point and I spent a couple hours trying to get him and another digger out. The first time he died of dehydration while drinking (or maybe it was hunger.) A different digger died in another part of the chain with a "Hunt for small animal" task that I missed seeing in the u menu--I always look for extended 'No Job' conditions.

Digging *so many* dead-end tunnels to the left or up (north) that needed floodgates installed.

I still do not know how to collapse a floor without the channeler following everything to the bottom.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Build a support on/under the floor section, link it to a lever, cut connections, drop at leisure.

[Raufgar]

I still do not know how to collapse a floor without the channeler following everything to the bottom.

Here's the wiki page about cave-ins

I recommend checking out the last section: Caving-in the toplevel/terrain from inside

[Pukako]

A different digger died in another part of the chain with a "Hunt for small animal" task that I missed seeing in the u menu--I always look for extended 'No Job' conditions.

Only just found a master engraver (trained up from nothing, so I'm a little attached to him) who had somehow managed to get wedged in a 1x5 corridor between a wall and a blocked staircase down in the caverns, with this order.  It should be impossible to get in there, and there are no %$#@ small animals there anyway - the Giant Olms eat them all.  Still don't understand it.

My latest FP moment involves a dwarven merchant, a goblin ambush, and my "Raising Bridge of Death Over the Tranquil Vegetated Pit of Relaxation" (4 z-levels deep, but it has grass, trees and shrubs growing there - usually kobolds and goblins fall in and I enjoy watching them starve over a few months).  Goblins rush towards the gate, and I set the lever to be flicked in the dining room, where for once, there isn't a party.  And then watch the goblins stop just short as the merchant's dwarven axeman guard rushes up, kills two of them, and is then flung into the pit as the bridge goes up.  Managed to kill the remaining two gobbos as they stood on the lip of the pit for me to drop the bridge on them.

Turns out the guard survived the fall, and actually walked out when I noticed a bit later and mined a few entrance.  She then followed my mayor around for a bit, and I thought he's got a bodyguard, but she just had issues finding an exit, and eventually wandered off after the merchant...

[celem]

Just had a strange mood, first ever in this nice new fort of mine.  from my best miner (skilled).

Guy claimed the mason's workshop and turned out a very pretty artifact mudstone floodgate...

Under posession too......dwarfapaulted him off my bridge into the caverns...useless bugger.

[Xerillum]

I put my "magmafy the depot" lever next to my "seal off the panic room and flood the rest of the fortress with magma" lever, and didn't label either of them. End result: the elves died anyways, but so did most of the people I wanted in the panic room. Now I have a farmer, 2 axedwarves, a miner, and a few haulers. My legendary surgeon, cook, brewer, engraver/mason, general doctor, and my marksdwarf squad died, along with all 50 or 60 other dwarves. But the survivors are still happy, because they slept in a legendary bedroom last night, and ate their plump helmet roasts in a legendary dining room. And they saw this really neat waterfall, which totally offset the deaths of everybody they knew.

[GenexController]

When i hit play right away without making preperations and I got 3 crafters a cook a sirgon a mason and a wood cutter. Then i reset all thier jobs to be more useful, used two of my crafters (now miners) to start diging out a small part of the mountain to move my dwarves under, it collapsed on all of them....

[Horizon9]

My first face palm consisted of me leaving my computer to try and play the even harder game Real Life, only to finish and come back to discover I forgot to pause Dwarf Fortress. In the time it took me to get back to my computer, we ran out of beer and food, and the tantrum spiral was spreading like wildfire.
I facepalmed so hard my hand went through my forehead.

[Argembarger]

(A month ago)

Psh, manager? Why would I ever want that? Sounds like every other useless Noble. Bookkeeper? Just an asshole wanting free food and lodging.

(A few days ago)

...I WAS SUCH A FOOL

and let the facepalming commence.

[Rockphed]

Yeah, manager and bookkeeper make running a fort so very much easier.  Also, they never make mandates or demands unless also the mayor.

The only downside is that either one is pretty much a full time position.