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[Expurgate]

This happened probably thirty seconds ago.

I decide to hook up a couple tunnels to a nearby murky pool for irrigating my underground farm.  Grates and floodgates, the whole shebang, making sure everything works fine.  I attach the lever to the floodgates and decide to just go for it.  I pop the lever and am immediately perplexed as only one 'gate opens.  While the rooms slowly fill with water, I go poking around the fortress to figure out what's wrong...

And almost immediately notice the open access tunnel to the gorilla pit.  Apparently it has the exact same type of floodgate.  The gorillas are greatly enjoying their vacation and happily beating the f*ck out of Urist McFishCleaner, who dies a sad death before they can be recaged.

[Taco Dan]

Because no fortress is complete without a gorilla pit...

[Burnt Pies]

A Cheese Maker gets a possession, grabs some wood, adamantine, raw aluminium, rough amazonites and a native gold block I'd bought off traders a while ago. Problem is, while he's out grabbing his native gold block, I get a dark elf ambush. because dwarves are simply awful at listening to anything, no one stays inside after the stay inside order, instead running out to grab some orcinite (Like goblinite, but steel), put away a corpse, or watch as their friends are ripped apart by evil elves. Just as my military makes it outside, the ambush party notices my cheese maker hauling his block back to his workshop, and promptly rip him apart as my military run towards them in a vain attempt to rescue him.

I then discover my spearmaster's an utter sissy, who runs away from the dark elf guard leading the squad, as my two swordsmasters and Mace wielding champion rip apart the rest of them.

[flatlander]

I just embarked in the middle of a scorching hot desert clime and there is an oasis in the middle of it. It has two pools separated by about 15 tiles so I thought lets build a cistern on one side with a well and a garden on the other. Everything goes fine with the garden. I channeled out and shunted the cistern to a red clay room two z levels below the original lake. Installed flood gates.... and finished off my well successfully.

In comes a wave of migrants and one of them is a very good fisherdwarf.  I then thought... great a fisherdwarf in the desert. Immediately followed by... hey why not try to set that cistern up for fishing. I then started cutting out a pattern to install grates on the floor around the well when ....WHAM... the well a miner, and a dwarf who was grabbing water dropped into the cistern.

[AtomicPaperclip]

"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):

[Chronas]

"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):

and what did he see?

[MaximumZero]

Managed to embark on a map full of skeletal elk. Skeletal elk that proceeded to tear my dorfs to shreds before I had any defenses whatsoever.

[Mangled]

"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):

and what did he see?

Ninjas.

[granzteel]

I embarked on glaziers. After mining for rooms and creating grates, the skeletal bears noticed my dwarves and started chasing them on the surface. I ordered all my dwarves inside the cave, but forgot to put the items inside. it's too late. my dwarves on the surface are killed and all over the main entrance.

I did not lose hope. I ordered the dwarves to mine an alternate entrance and sneak on the wagon to get all the resources. I used my marksdwarf to distract the skels, but didn't buy enough time for my dwarves to get inside.

the last dwarf had a tantrum and went raging on the undead bears, only to get killed.

[Kidiri]

"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):

and what did he see?

Ninjas.

Then why is he still alive?

[Ultimuh]

"Hey how did my woodworker get legendary observer 5 seconds after disembark?"
Wiki: The Observer skill determines how good someone is at spotting stealthed units.
*{u}*
):

and what did he see?

Ninjas.

Then why is he still alive?

Because his father is Chuck Norris.

[Knick]

Second summer after embark.  I have no metal so far.  My immigrant furnace operator is possessed, claims a crafts shop, and is demanding metal bars.  It is a race between the arrival of the human caravan and his sanity.

[MaximumZero]

@Knick, I just did that with sand. My poor, insane glassmaker.

[Captain Hammer]

I've been going through this thread for awhile, just read the part about digging multiple z lvl's easier. After designating my 40 z lvl underground magma pump stack. 
/facepalm

[BrutalNoodle]

Hey there everyone,
been lurking for about a month now after finding out about dwarf fortress. Thought I would share some of the silly things that my engraver has been doing.

One of the first engravings my legendary engraver did,

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

He has been consistently producing images of geometric shapes in my dining hall for nearly half a season. =/

EDIT: He also drew a circle and "two waves" all masterfully done, yet my fortress is nowhere near and ocean. I would like to believe that it is simply some squiggles ~ ~