I too am of course voting for the comedic route. One big house - Roomies!
Also, bumpin' dis thread with more vehicles, because I was bored and bumpage was needed.
There are about a hundred production models of military helicopters, few produced in numbers greater than hundreds, and many of them virtually identical in capability. So the following are some melded designs and interpretations. These also have a couple more points of interest.
Carry is a stat for air vehicles, denoting how much stuff they're rated to tote off the ground. This is given in increments of about 1000-1500 pounds,
beyond the weight of the nominal crew and a full load of fuel. A fully loaded soldier should be considered about 300lbs for safety's sake, and vehicular weapons tend to be really heavy. Much more so than ground vehicles, load-weight has a dramatic effect on a helicopter's range, speed, and handling.
I haven't tried to denote maneuverability by model in these lists. Some helicopters are more nimblie than others, but since this is mostly a factor of size and load-vs-capacity, a little common sense is all that's really needed to say if a helicopter can perform a certain movement. It's worth saying that even the most basic helicopters are notoriously difficult to fly.
Weapon mounting space is denoted by Hardpoints - sockets or rails that pods can be bolted to. There's just about every system imaginable for these things, from missiles to splitters for more missiles to guns to fuel tanks to sensor packs. Helicopters tend to carry ludicrous amounts of firepower for their size compared to all other military vehicles.
Door mounts are just that - a heavy weapon pintle meant to be used by someone sitting in the helicopter. Think Hueys.
Do note that with a little imagination and welding, just about any helicopter can mount weaponry, and the more lifting capacity the better. Indeed, the first gunships were Hueys with vulcan cannons and rocket pods hammered to their lifting frames.
I also broke one my rules in this list, by attempting to model a semi-dramatic impression of the infamous Hind-D. Mainly because any list of useful military helicopters would be incomplete without it, and it's so utterly unique that there'd be no point in hiding it.
Brazilian UU-5500
Nominal Crew: 2
Passengers: 2~
Armor: ███
Speed: ████████
Range: █████
Carry: ███
Weapons: 1 Pintle (Door Mount); 2 Hardpoints
Notes: Converted civilian model
French C114 Fouine
Nominal Crew: 2
Armor: █████
Speed: ███████
Range: ████
Carry: █████
Weapons: Turret w/ Autocannon; 6 Hardpoints
Notes: Computerized systems
American CR-A2 Kiowa
Nominal Crew: 2
Armor: ████
Speed: ████████
Range: ████
Carry: ████
Weapons: Mount w/ Heavy Machine Gun; 4 Hardpoints
Notes: None
Chinese WNN-922
Nominal Crew: 2
Passengers: 10
Armor: ███
Speed: ███████
Range: ███████
Carry: ████
Weapons: None; 2 Hardpoints
Notes: Copied from French systems
Russian Tu-19 "Hiker"
Nominal Crew: 2
Passengers: 12
Armor: ███
Speed: ██████
Range: ████
Carry: █████
Weapons: None
Notes: Co-axial rotor system
American GR-A1 Arawak
Nominal Crew: 1~
Passengers: 10
Armor: ████
Speed: ██████
Range: ████
Carry: ████
Weapons: None; 2 Door Mounts
Notes: None
Italian A089
Nominal Crew: 1
Passengers: 6
Armor: ███
Speed: ███████
Range: ██████
Carry: █████
Weapons: None; 1 Door Mount; 2 Hardpoints
Notes: None
Universal Utilitarian
Nominal Crew: 1
Passengers: 3
Armor: ██
Speed: ██████
Range: ███████
Carry: ████
Weapons: None
Notes: Represents dozens of similar light utility models
Russian Mi-24D "Hind"
Nominal Crew: 2
Passengers: 8~
Armor: █████
Speed: ███████
Range: ███
Carry: ██████
Weapons: Turret w/ Heavy Machine Gun; 6 Hardpoints
Notes: The Devil's Chariot
So G and V, any closer to a launch date?