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Author Topic: Peasant Adventure! The World of Suffering!  (Read 85446 times)

JoshuaFH

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #465 on: March 24, 2009, 04:55:10 pm »

:[
WHY WONT YOU DIE?
I pick up the peasant and throw him into the river. Then I throw stuff at his corpse.

You attempt to throw the man into the river!

Coin Flip: Heads

In a feat of strength, you pick the man up and throw him into the river!



The peasant is no longer on fire. The peasant is drowning. The peasant will drown in 3 turns.

Then a guard, attracted by the ruckus, comes by,



"Hey, what's goin' on here? That peasant is drowning, go help him!"

What do you do?

Here goes nothing...

I say: "Trust me! I know what I'm doing!"

Show Kogan towards the spider (yay for dwarf-tossing).

Wait for the spider to web him.

Pick up stones (knowing dwarven fortresses, there should be ZILLIONS of them). Throw them at the stalactites above the spider, so they will break and impale the spider. Continue until I succeed.

If the spider comes at me, run. Fast.

You reassure the dwarf that you're a Giant Spider killing expert, and goad him into going first.

As you both walk forward, you're caught in the spider's invisible web! You're stuck! (You didn't remember that spider silk is invisible until you're ontop of it? for shame!)



The spider is slowly moving closer to you!

What do you do?
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Iituem

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #466 on: March 24, 2009, 07:11:14 pm »

Convince the guard you have aquaphobia and can't swim, pretend to be an absolute wussy and generally convince him to save the guy instead.

Then, when he's leaning over to fish the guy out, kick the guard wearing all that nice, heavy metal armour in after him.

Then prey to Extremus to set fire to the docks to make the situation even more XTREEM.
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

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Org

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #467 on: March 24, 2009, 07:12:23 pm »

Push the guard in.

Then, use their bodies to kill others EXTREMELY!

Or something like that.
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cowofdoom78963

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #468 on: March 24, 2009, 07:43:18 pm »

Then a guard, attracted by the ruckus, comes by,
*picture*

"Hey, what's goin' on here? That peasant is drowning, go help him!"

Huh, that seems illogical. As it seems to be common knowledge that peasants cant swim, thus why would the guard as one to go save a drowning man?
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Org

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #469 on: March 24, 2009, 07:45:34 pm »

Wait.

First, bite your finger at him.

Then when he asks "Did you bite your finger at me?", push him.

Then laugh as he yells "A plague o' both your houses!" as he drowns.

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JoshuaFH

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #470 on: March 24, 2009, 08:04:43 pm »

Then a guard, attracted by the ruckus, comes by,
*picture*

"Hey, what's goin' on here? That peasant is drowning, go help him!"

Huh, that seems illogical. As it seems to be common knowledge that peasants cant swim, thus why would the guard as one to go save a drowning man?

Isn't it obvious? The guard has back problems.
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cowofdoom78963

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #471 on: March 24, 2009, 08:06:36 pm »

Then a guard, attracted by the ruckus, comes by,
*picture*

"Hey, what's goin' on here? That peasant is drowning, go help him!"

Huh, that seems illogical. As it seems to be common knowledge that peasants cant swim, thus why would the guard as one to go save a drowning man?

Isn't it obvious? The guard has back problems.
Well... carrying heavy armour he wouldent even be able to swim.
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Emperor_Jonathan

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #472 on: March 24, 2009, 11:01:36 pm »

"Thanks mate."

I go outside and look at my map again.
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Siquo

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #473 on: March 25, 2009, 02:25:31 am »

Damn my guy is stupid. What part of "shove dwarf" includes "go forward myself"...

Ok, new plan, get out of the silk. As we have little leverage by being stuck, I push myself away, by pushing the dwarf forward, and myself backward. Use my feet if necessary.

I'd pray to Extremus, but never having been in his church, I wouldn't know about his existence at all :(
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This one thread is mine. MIIIIINE!!! And it will remain a happy, friendly, encouraging place, whether you lot like it or not. 
will rena,eme sique to sique sxds-- siquo if sucessufil
(cant spel siqou a. every speling looks wroing (hate this))

NUKE9.13

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #474 on: March 25, 2009, 02:47:17 am »

Damn my guy is stupid. What part of "shove dwarf" includes "go forward myself"...

Ok, new plan, get out of the silk. As we have little leverage by being stuck, I push myself away, by pushing the dwarf forward, and myself backward. Use my feet if necessary.

I'd pray to Extremus, but never having been in his church, I wouldn't know about his existence at all :(
Your situation is pretty extreme. If you just pray in general, he might set fire to the spider.
Or he might set fire to you.

Win/win, amiright?

Anyway: By popular demand, I bite my thumb at the guard.
Then I get a boat paddle and pretend to save the peasant.
The peasant grabs it, and I say, whoa, he's heavy, give us a hand.
The guard helps me, and I let go of the paddle, push him in, and hit him over the head with another paddle.

I do not quote shakespear or anything, because I am but a lowly peasant.
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Long Live United Forenia!

Siquo

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #475 on: March 25, 2009, 02:50:11 am »

Yeah well, if I'd pray to extremus, he'd probably set the silk on fire, not the spider...  :-\
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This one thread is mine. MIIIIINE!!! And it will remain a happy, friendly, encouraging place, whether you lot like it or not. 
will rena,eme sique to sique sxds-- siquo if sucessufil
(cant spel siqou a. every speling looks wroing (hate this))

JoshuaFH

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #476 on: March 25, 2009, 06:14:51 pm »

"Thanks mate."

I go outside and look at my map again.

You thank the kind man and go outside and look at your map again, because you can't be bothered to look for it a couple pages back.



What do you do?

Damn my guy is stupid. What part of "shove dwarf" includes "go forward myself"...

Ok, new plan, get out of the silk. As we have little leverage by being stuck, I push myself away, by pushing the dwarf forward, and myself backward. Use my feet if necessary.

I'd pray to Extremus, but never having been in his church, I wouldn't know about his existence at all :(

You attempt to push yourself out of the web using the dwarf as leverage!

Coin flip: heads

Haha! You successfully escape from the webbing!



The Giant Spider attacks the betrayed dwarf!

Roll: 1 (1 + 2 = 3)

Kogan is dealt 3 damage! Kogan now has 17 hp. Kogan is now in combat. Kogan cannot escape because of the webbing!

Kogan screams,

"You lying cheating fire imp! May the mountains curse your grave!"

Kogan attacks the spider.

Roll: 6

Combo!

Roll: 3

Kogan deals 9 damage to the GCS! the GCS now has 16 hp left!

What do you do?

Damn my guy is stupid. What part of "shove dwarf" includes "go forward myself"...

Ok, new plan, get out of the silk. As we have little leverage by being stuck, I push myself away, by pushing the dwarf forward, and myself backward. Use my feet if necessary.

I'd pray to Extremus, but never having been in his church, I wouldn't know about his existence at all :(
Your situation is pretty extreme. If you just pray in general, he might set fire to the spider.
Or he might set fire to you.

Win/win, amiright?

Anyway: By popular demand, I bite my thumb at the guard.
Then I get a boat paddle and pretend to save the peasant.
The peasant grabs it, and I say, whoa, he's heavy, give us a hand.
The guard helps me, and I let go of the paddle, push him in, and hit him over the head with another paddle.

I do not quote shakespear or anything, because I am but a lowly peasant.

You bite your thumb at the guard. Your thumb tastes like muddy peasant. Your thumb hurts now. You don't know why you thought that was a good idea.

You step into a boat, and grab a paddle. You try to pretend to save the peasant,



but you can only prod his legs with it. He can't grab onto it because all peasants drown upside-down!

The guard (+4 spear and +4 armor) speaks,

"whatya doin?! Reach down there and grab that peasant now!"

The peasant has 2 more turns before he drowns.

What do you do?
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Emperor_Jonathan

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #477 on: March 25, 2009, 11:40:12 pm »

I go to the Barracks. Might be able to catch up on some sleep!
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NUKE9.13

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #478 on: March 26, 2009, 02:33:16 am »

Man, I forgot about the lead weights the duke puts in our heads.
Ok, I guess I sort of reach under and flip him the right way up. Then I pull him out.
Then I explain that the peasant is under good care. No worries, I'll make it all better.
Then the guard walks off, yes?
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Long Live United Forenia!

Siquo

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #479 on: March 26, 2009, 04:06:21 am »

I say "Relax Kogan! It's part of the plan! You're doing fine!"

Pick up rocks, throw them at the stalactites above the spider, hoping to impale it.
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This one thread is mine. MIIIIINE!!! And it will remain a happy, friendly, encouraging place, whether you lot like it or not. 
will rena,eme sique to sique sxds-- siquo if sucessufil
(cant spel siqou a. every speling looks wroing (hate this))
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