While the three stooges might hit someone over the head with a mallet, but they aren't going to go to the hospital for cranial injuries and respond to such treatment as "Oww" as opposed to "OHH THE PAIN WHY OHH GAWD WHY!!!".
Almost all of the clips on youtube are shit, so I went back into the LNs and
looked. You're completely projecting here.
"No way! My name is Louise de La Vallière! 'Zero' is just a nickname."
"A nickname, huh? I can understand why she's called 'Ardent,' but why are you 'Zero?'"
"You don't need to know," Louise answered uncomfortably.
"Is it your breasts?" Saito asked, glancing at Louise. Yup. Flat as a board.
Louise's hand flew out. He dodged it.
"Come back here!"
"Don't hit me!"
A slap?
That reminds me... This girl... Yesterday, even when everyone else flew away, she walked. And,
last night, when I grabbed her, she kicked me in the groin.
If she really wanted to chastise me, wouldn't it be better to use magic instead of hitting or kicking
me? That would be more effective, and more mage-like. Why is that? Saito wondered.
1. The way the scene is structured is clearly intended to be comedic -- it's a back-and forth conversation in which the three people present have been prodding at each other similarly for a minute or two; Saito finally pushes the wrong button, dodges a well-deserved slap, and runs off. This is where 90% of your abuse comes from: Saito being a two-timing pervert or an ass and then trying to avoid his comeuppance.
2. Note the reflection on last night -- again, the situation began because he prodded Louise in a sore spot and she overreacted. Notice how, rather than, as you suggest, going "OH WOE IS ME THIS GIRL THAT NOW OWNS ME IS ABUSING ME," he doesn't particularly care about getting kicked in the groin and is instead pondering what it means that she hit him rather than using magic.
Having finished tidying up, Louise and Saito headed to the dining hall for lunch. Along the way,
Saito made fun of Louise over and over. After all, it was Louise's fault that he'd had to do all that
manual labor just now. It was Saito who had carried over the new window glass. It was Saito
who had moved all the heavy desks. And of course, it was Saito who had wiped the soot blackened classroom clean with a cloth. All Louise had done was wipe down a few desks, and reluctantly at that.
I have to sleep on the floor. The food sucks. And on top of that, I have to wash underwear. (Not
that I've done it yet.)
With all that mistreatment from Louise, there was no way Saito could keep quiet about her newfound
weakness. He teased Louise like there was no tomorrow.
"'Louise the Zero.' Now I get it~ That's just perfect~ Rate of success is zero. But a noble despite
that... wonderful!"
Louise didn't say a word, which only roused Saito further.
"Transmutation! Ah! Kaboom! Transmutation! Ah! Kaboom! Oh, I screwed up! Only 'the Zero'
screws this up!"
Saito danced circles around Louise like this, raising his arms every time he said "kaboom,"
mimicking an explosion. It was quite a detailed performance.
"Mistress Louise. This humble familiar has made a song for you."
Saito said, bowing his head respectfully. Of course, it was an empty gesture, a complete mockery.
Louise's eyebrow was twitching furiously. She was on the verge of blowing her top, but Saito
was too absorbed in his excitement to notice that.
"Why don't you go ahead and sing it?"
"'Lou-Lou-Louise is such a hopeless case~ A magician that can't even use magic! But that's all
right! Because she's a girl...'"
Saito held his stomach as he burst into laughter.
"Bwahahaha!!"
He was laughing at his own joke. Perhaps he was just as hopeless.
* * *
When they arrived at the dining hall, Saito pulled out a chair for Louise.
"Just remember, my lady. Don't cast any spells on the food. Just imagine the mess if it
exploded."
Louise took the seat wordlessly. Saito was feeling thoroughly satisfied, having got one back on
the rude and arrogant Louise with his putdowns. Even the usual excuse for a meal didn't bother
him as much.
While the meager soup and bread he got served was still painful to behold, it was a pretty even
trade-off for getting to laugh so much earlier.
"Right then, Founder someone-or-another. Your Highness the Queen. Thanks a bunch for the
crappy food. Itadakimasu."
As he went to eat, the plate was snatched away.
"What are you doing?!"
"Th-th-th..."
"'Th-th-th'?"
Louise's shoulders shook angrily, as did her voice. Somehow, she'd managed to reign in her
overflowing fury until they'd arrived at the dining table. Probably so that she could bestow an
appropriate punishment.
"Th-th-th-this familiar, how dare it say s-s-s-such things to its m-m-m-master?"
Saito realized he'd gone too far.
"I'm sorry! I won't say any more, so give me back my food!"
"No! Absolu~~tely not!"
Louise screamed, twisting her cute face in rage.
"One meal cut for every time you've said 'Zero!' And that's final! No exceptions!"
Are you getting the picture yet? Maybe you don't agree with the author's sense of humor, but this is the pattern of how it plays out. Saito acts like a dick, pushes all of the glaring red buttons labelled "Louise's Insecurities" with great glee, and then she, predictably, blows up, punishing him in ways which are trivial and momentary. Literally less than half a page later, he's getting food from the kitchens, and better than he had before. When she hits or explodes him, it literally doesn't last past the end of the "joke".
As well most other shows try to balance it by putting the male in the "higher position" of "He could fight back if he wanted to" and it isn't really all that painful but not only can our male lead not fight back but he has been mind raped into loving his abuser no matter what... and even then they never get bloodied from it, they never have to mend their mental wounds from it. Inuyasha is a common example and even THAT anime tends to activate people's abuse centers.
ZnT would be a lot more obviously abuse if you simply changed the gender around. About a male abuser who gets picked on so he takes his slave girl and whips her with a riding crop listening to her cries and pleas as she bleeds onto the floor... But he doesn't stop he just whips her over and over again.
But EVEN THEN... the abuse would have been alright if they tried to frame this "clearly abuse' as clearly abuse. The fact that they frame it as something sexy or funny without actually making it sex or funny... is what makes me hate it so much.
I've already spoken about this topic at length though... about why ZnT is the only anime I genuinely hate.
I mean SURE... It never explores its concepts or good plot threads and Zero herself boarders on unlikable even if you eliminated the abuse... and they alter the main character's personality in order to make him "deserve" his punishments later in spite the fact that it is completely contrary to his earlier personality.
That's exactly what I'm getting at. The whole "abuse" thing is overplayed projection. It's people getting out of a series what they put in. You tried to wave it off, but what you're doing is
exactly like someone watching
this and concluding that these two horrible thugs are "abusing" the trust of their friend by forcing him to do something he's afraid of, torturing him, and then the whole situation devolves into a mutual orgy of violence.
Are you honestly trying to tell me that
this or
this are, either intentionally or unintentionally, portrayals of one person abusing another in a remotely realistic manner? Incidentally, that "whipping" that you like to harp on about? That's a single incident, with a riding crop, which existed for the sole purpose of setting up a crude joke when someone walks in on them the next morning and they're on the floor, half-naked, with Louise straddling Saito.
I'm not saying that it's refined or even particularly funny, but you're only going to see abuse if you look for it. It's near midnight and I've got a final at 8:00am tomorrow, so unfortunately I can't pander to your preconceptions any more tonight. I'd suggest that rather than relying on your imagination you go back and read the source material. Find me a single instance where Louise blows up at Saito for something that genuinely isn't his fault, and find me one where she hurts him in a way that is ever mentioned with any sort of significance past the joke or slapstick sequence it took place in.
If you come back with "well I don't have the LNs, but I watched the anime spinoff a couple years ago and I think I remember..." I'm not going to dignify that with anything.