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[gumball135]

All those births make me realize...
Of all the dwarves who lived in this hell hole, i had to pick the impotent one.

Yes, i could blame it on the Queen, but you know i won't!

I go back working on my Billon Portal to Lesbos Island.

You know, I reckon living in Blockedlance would probably put a severe strain on your potence anyway. Also, it's possible that your lance has been, well, blocked.

You have many possibilities for Blocked lances:

• All the blood and gore has made you unable to 'joust'
• Your partner sacrificed their ovaries to Armok
• You need to be covered in blood and vomit to even think about copulation
• Chronic abuse of alcohol, rat weed and quarcaine

Really, it's a wonder anybody has children in this fortress.

That's why Jewelettarette (did I even spell that right?) is the only dwarf woman (dwoman?) to give birth so far; she has no morals. Also, she's a Quarchead like the rest of the Countess's daughters.

[Moose Fisher]

All those births make me realize...
Of all the dwarves who lived in this hell hole, i had to pick the impotent one.

Yes, i could blame it on the Queen, but you know i won't!

I go back working on my Billon Portal to Lesbos Island.

You know, I reckon living in Blockedlance would probably put a severe strain on your potence anyway. Also, it's possible that your lance has been, well, blocked.

You have many possibilities for Blocked lances:

• All the blood and gore has made you unable to 'joust'
• Your partner sacrificed their ovaries to Armok
• You need to be covered in blood and vomit to even think about copulation
• Chronic abuse of alcohol, rat weed and quarcaine

Really, it's a wonder anybody has children in this fortress.

That's why Jewelettarette (did I even spell that right?) is the only dwarf woman (dwoman?) to give birth so far; she has no morals. Also, she's a Quarchead like the rest of the Countess's daughters.

She's obviously not enough of a Quarchead if her children are surviving.

Perhaps we should force the nobility to go cold turkey with some male attendants?

[Ze Spy]

SPEEZ MERLIENS , C- oh wait , what?
i bet they can roll through the fortress , lets wait and see(LOL JOKE LOL)
anyways , any plans to ......err , something?

[MrGimp]

So at the end of the year, we get a strange mood.  It's our High Priest Kulaka.  He grabs a hem workers shop - which is the only shop a noble would craft at I suppose - and grabbed a gem.  Within about one dwarf day he was done.



It was completely dull and pointless.  And worth only 4800 copper coins.  What a complete waste of Kulaka's time.  He could have been baptizing the babies in horse blood....but NOOOOO....he's gotta carve a totally plain gemstone.

And then he frikkin became legendary for it.

Go figure.

[MrGimp]

Spring 246



Never thought I'd get this far.  246.  That's forty six years since the founding, and forty two years since Urist arrived to kill the demons.  This is by far my longest fort.  Probably too long really...but what are you gonna do?

Anyways, spring greets us with the usual gift of a small Armok worshipping boy.  We thank Armok for his awesomeness.



And this little baby Dobar has inherited a vast fortune already.  He could probably outfit his own expedition and fund it all by himself.  I don't know where he got the ten grand, or why the youngest child inherited more than the other three older siblings....but hey.  Dwarves are not meant to be understood....only tortured and spoiled in an alternating bipolar fashion.

Oh....and we got ANOTHER fey mood this season.  With ANOTHER woodcutter/carpenter who is now dead from want of shell.  Now we have no woodcutters or carpenters in the fortress....which really sucks because I just ordered the second floor of the outer wall to be made of wood (not the walls but the floor inside the wall).  So I have to make someone else a carpenter and have shitty stupid novices building my floors all slow.  Bah!

[MrGimp]

So I had lost the woodcutting carpenters.  I had found a craftsdwarf and given him an axe.  The problem was solved.  He took all season to build a handful of floors, but still....he would get better.

Ah...but things were not to get better.  For he was to go insane.

I think this picture below is worth a thousand words.  I t is DF in a nutshell.



Lord Akigagak again did the honors, and Romantically Flayed the dwarf to death.

In winter though, even more horrifying events occurred...



Upon hearing the news of the potential future Grand-Duke's strange mood swing, the Queen was heard to shout aloud, "Why must we dwarves have to live in fear of our loved ones going insane?!"

Only time would tell what Airag's fate would be...

[Huesoo]

Is the Dungeon master taken?

[Steev]

What ever happened to the Spirit of Fire you had locked up?

[MrGimp]

Is the Dungeon master taken?

Yep.

Theres a daughter of the Grand Duchess left.  And now a boy and girl baby grandaughter of the Grand Duchess.  And one of these days Im gonna come across an Armok worshiping Hammerer and Tax Collector damnit!

[MrGimp]

What ever happened to the Spirit of Fire you had locked up?

I tried to trap it.  It didnt work.  So I ended up killing it. 

I miss that little bastard.   

[Plank of Wood]

Bloody hell.

Blockedlance, shine on, you crazy diamond.


Also, does Winston still live? Has he managed to overthrow Big Brot Queen Urist yet?

[nil]

yo I'll take one of the kiddies

Or if you have anyone else already named Nil, that would do.

[Cheddarius]

AWESOME.
Do you know yet if I'm demanding shell or something and must be put down?

[Akigagak]

I call dibs on his scalp.

[MrGimp]

Also, does Winston still live? Has he managed to overthrow Big Brot Queen Urist yet?

Winston lives only to serve Big Sister.  He is building a pyramid and a wall for Big Sister.  Once that is done, he will be useless again, and will probably be disposed of by Big Sister. 

yo I'll take one of the kiddies

Or if you have anyone else already named Nil, that would do.

Okay I named Jewelettarette's youngest male Nil.

AWESOME.
Do you know yet if I'm demanding shell or something and must be put down?

Patience...