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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!  (Read 19690 times)

King Zultan

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #135 on: August 03, 2023, 03:31:26 am »

A
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #136 on: August 03, 2023, 10:55:30 pm »

A
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #137 on: August 06, 2023, 03:58:57 am »

B
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

The Canadian kitten

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #138 on: August 06, 2023, 10:57:54 pm »

B
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #139 on: August 07, 2023, 10:34:23 am »

A - Seize the initiative. We out number them over four to one. They will have to hide three more of these hosts from our scouts for it to approach even numbers, but by their apparently random equipment and non-existent tactics they'd need more than that to stand a chance
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #140 on: August 13, 2023, 03:32:14 am »

aaaa
bbb



You explain that you will meet with the Wildlings head-on!

The howling and screaming coming from northwest an hour later indicates that they've found you - and you've found them.

Quote
5*

The battle is a great chaos from the very start. Your archers tried to pelt the first line of Wildlings with arrows, only for them to raise primitive shields made of fur and leather, something they've not done before. Secondly, their mass was surpisingly orderly, for Wildlings, and they crashed into front of your lines nearly at the same moment.

But that was still not enough - your skillful ordering of troops and plain ol' large numbers of your troops was more than enough to overcome this and all other tricks.

Quote
9!*

While the initial few minutes were quite even, after that it is a slaughter. Wildlings fall down, cut down by your men's axes, maces and spears, and few that try to run away are easily shot down by your eagle-eyed archers.

Before the sun even begins to set, it is over. Amongst the dead Wildlings there's a bigger, nastier looking one with human skulls as his shoulder pauldrons and one of a wolf that served as his helmet.

As the Marshal explains that almost a hundred of your loyal soldiers won't be going home, while some three hundred and eighty Wildlings were killed, some warriors bring to you a gift.

The young-looking Wildlings, barely bearded and dressed in lesser furs, can't be more than youths, some perhaps as young as twelve, but you never know with the Wildlings. A fifth of the group is girls.

"We've captured twenty three Wildlings, sire." Says the blood-stained warrior who led the group of warriors that captured the youths.

"Whatever should be done with them?"

A) "These are kids, and they've received their lesson they will never forget. Release them back into the Wild!"
B) "Turn them into thralls, they shall till our fields with plows attached to their backs!"
C) "What stupid question is this? These are Wildlings! Put them to axe at once!"
D) "Time for something radical - they shall be clean-shaven and made into servants at my palace!"
« Last Edit: August 13, 2023, 03:35:35 am by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Elephant Parade

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #141 on: August 13, 2023, 10:33:58 am »

A
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Fluffe9911

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #142 on: August 13, 2023, 03:50:36 pm »

B
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Elephant Parade

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #143 on: August 13, 2023, 04:28:39 pm »

I really don't see what we get out of B. Twenty-three angry slaves aren't going to contribute much to our economy.
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Fluffe9911

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #144 on: August 13, 2023, 04:30:44 pm »

I really don't see what we get out of B. Twenty-three angry slaves aren't going to contribute much to our economy.
It aint about the economy its about keeping them out of mind while also out of trouble. I don't want us releasing them for their revenge ark 30 years down the line but also don't wanna straight up kill them.
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Elephant Parade

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #145 on: August 13, 2023, 04:42:28 pm »

It's not like these twenty-three Wildlings are the only ones left alive. If anything, turning them into slaves will make the Wildlings even more pissed off at us, while showing mercy might make them a little more chill.
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #146 on: August 13, 2023, 05:10:14 pm »

They enslave and murder our people, so it depends on whether we want to talk their language/stoop to their level.

B
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The Canadian kitten

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #147 on: August 14, 2023, 12:26:05 am »

B
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King Zultan

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #148 on: August 14, 2023, 03:08:35 am »

B
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM Z-th! King Cyrus of Surinthomus!
« Reply #149 on: August 15, 2023, 09:39:37 am »

You explain that survivors of this Wildling attack will be put to field as beasts of burden, working for betterment of your subjects till they drop dead!

Although few are skeptical, the other agree that this is a good way to punish Wildling children.

505 AD, A Week Later

Over span of seven days your scouts come and go, but there's no sign or sight of any other Wildling groups or encampments, only very old firepits long cold and unused.

You announce the end of the campaign to the joy of your soldiers and officers alike.



Congratulations! Cyrus has completed a military campaign!



505 AD, Midwinter

Your return to the capital is celebrated by young maidens and wealthy matrons tossing grain and dried flowers in front of you.

The courtiers attending your court are happy that despite five years, your martial skills haven't dulled.

The Wildlings captured are put to till the fields and chop wood, for scraps of food and necessary furs to survive the harsh elements.

505 AD, End of the Year

You rub your hands in anticipation when you see the Advisor enter with Scrolls of Kingdom Status in his hands.

Happiness: 5
Population: 3
Economy: 3
Army: 3

It's been a while since you've seen such nice numbers.

"Everything is well within the Kingdom, Your Majesty." He strokes his beard.

506 AD, Summer

The rains this summer and higher waves, coupled with lacking interest in timber downriver, means there was little profit gained by the Treasury this year.

506 AD, Midsummer

You meet with a delegation of Druids and beast-tamers in your audience hall.

"My liege, we wish to report that breeding of Mammos is continuing at a steady pace. Few eldest have perished, the mature and young ones were trained, and there have been two dozen calfs already born since the herd was brought into captivity." Says the leader of beast-tamers.

"However, Mammos are fierce, slow to learn and yet are known to hold grudges for long. My companion here--" The beast-tamer turns to the Druid in charge, who bows. "--believes that we need five more years at the least to consider the herd truly tamed and big enough to be of good use."

"And what is your assessment?" You ask the beast-tamer, who smiles proudly.

"We've spent five years raising and training and taming them. I believe they are ready to be put into harnesses and attached to plows. Or we can begin to mount archers and riders on their tall backs for the use of your army!"

A) "Put them to work, our people and land need such great beasts of burden!"
B) "Hm, we've waited five years, we can five years more, just to be on the safe side."
C) "Give them to the army, we shall have those mighty beasts trample our enemies!"
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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