I will be answering the questions we've all been wondering about, such as, "How far can you punt a goblin?", "Can you punt a goblin farther, if they are first sitting on top of a small animal, similar to how a golf ball sits on the tee?", and finally, "How far could you punt said goblin if your club of choice was a 2-ton foot made of solid bronze?"
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It was like watching a child play war with toy soldiers. Furious Oil found it difficult to grab the quick-to-dodge goblins and their nimble mounts, but when those great bronze hands found purchase on a stray limb, it was a quick end indeed. After the second death the goblins routed, some becoming confused and diving into the watery moat. In chasing these goblins Furious Oil caused great splashes of steaming water, as it boiled under the fury of his blows. He made goblin soup, to put it simply. 34 pages of THIS. The rising steam flushed the blood from that shimmering bronze figure, and we small dwarves stood in awe, watching from Imic's Wall. Furious Oil remained alone, unmoving, crouched on the red sand like some ancient statue of the gods.
I have heard that these creatures are worth great sums of money, and a lucrative thought took hold. We could showcase it in rigged arena fights, attract visitors to our tavern, and then sell them cheap memorabilia and offload our excess fish stocks in the form of fish n' chips stalls. It was a dream come true! But, how to capture this god-creature?
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A new squad was formed titled "Guardian Warriors of the Infinite Nautilus," or Nautilus Guard for short. Recruits were pulled from the mason and hauler castes, and one of our burlier miners was promoted to captain. We shall see what comes of this training.
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Progress on the arena, first floor:
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Did you know Bronze Colossi can climb walls?
I didn't.We dwarves had spent a few weeks digging out a trap chamber, installing mechanisms and furniture to draw in Furious Oil, as well as bridges to seal in the creature.
We then opened a new tunnel in the earthwork, level with the moat, and built a bridge at the southern end of the winding sewer pathway. Surprisingly the colossus was unmoved by this, and made no attempt to path into our walls.
"Welp," I thought, "we'll just extend the trapway and wait some more." I turned my back, only to hear screams from the beach . . .that accursed red sand was thirsty for blood.
No one witnessed it, but Furious Oil somehow scaled the wall and was upon us in an instant. The Nautilus were ordered to the shore, and heroic Atis arrived first, gallant and fearless, despite being the last dwarf to join the squad and arguably the least skilled of them all.
Atis ducked multiple fearsome blows from Furious Oil as the waves washed past their feet, but soon tired and (in true attack on titan style) Furious Oil tore off his leg and choked him to death.
Next to arrive was Melbil, another Nautilus Guard. Let me tell you, you won't be hearing much from Melbil about this event, since upon stepping down from the beachside staircase they were immediately punted about 60 feet, breaking every bone in their body as they skipped along, and then exploded into gore. Another coffin to be made. . .
large .gif ahead of the entire fight - it took no more than 15 seconds IRL. If you look closely you can see Melbil disappear off screen:A But, due to a mixture of chance and the forethought of some previous overseer, Furious Oil's rampage was put to a halt as it stepped into one of our ingenious, one-size-fits-all Cage Traps, and was captured. *Phew* After borking up my plans, I was saved due to chance, again. The date was 12 Hematite, Early Summer, 208, and we had just captured ourselves a Bronze Colossus.
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OOC:
Slow going but hopefully I can up the FPS with some stone management, and closing off some old tunnels. I am concerned that further construction will lead to inescapable lag, though I've only heard rumors of this being the case and haven't really experienced it myself. FPS hovers around 70-80 so it is still very acceptable. Damn, don't fights take forever to write up?