Bread Man, now adequately armed and armoured, lets loose another maniacal cackle before sprinting up and down the nearby rows, looking for valuable items to pilfer, or for other shoppers to clobber.
[1] Breadman, secure in his glutinous-ness, sprints about like a mad man, searching for valuables. However, his carb addled brain's definition of "Valuable" is pretty odd so he ends up with $26.95 worth of breakfast muffins, artisan bread, and tortillas.
EDIT - Use the lighter fluid to create an oil slick directly outside the vision center. Lighter fluid is translucent, so it should be hard to see. If somebody enters the area with the fluid, drop a match in it. Especially if they slip and fall in it! THEN if there’s time, break all the glasses in the vision center, and scatter the glass in the area with the trip lines.
Lay in wait for unsuspecting victims. If somebody trips on the wires, finish them with the bow.
holding pattern until something interesting happens, I’ve got time.
NAME: Sheauwn-Dagger Smith
PHOTO: Photo
STATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 1
Intellectable: 0
ViewBetter: 4
ITEMS:
Hatchets - $22.99
Bow - $33.88
Arrows x3 (1 more unrecovered) - $23.92
Matches - $5.49
Lighter Fluid - $4.57
Paracord - $3.94
Bubble Gum - $2.24
Total = 97.03
Smith douses the area outside his ambush center in lighter fluid, using the entire thing up to get good coverage. He then overturns a display rack of glasses and is immediately disappointed to find they all have plastic display lenses. He hurls them over into the checkout area though, just to vent his frustration.
[3] As he hucks the last few pairs he thinks he sees some kind of movement over in fashion.
NAME: Steve "Social distancer" Dickson
PHOTO:
PhotoSTATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 3
ThrustAdjust: 3
Hardsy: 1
Intellectable: 2
ViewBetter: 3
ITEMS:
Kayak Paddle $24,52
Jawbusters $32,17
Synthetic Motor Oil $22,38
Total: $79,07
$338,94 in 3 Letgo Sets (Castle Spaceship, Dragon)
Search around for small expensive stuff but keep paying attention around in case I have to dodge an attack or defend myself with the Paddle
Steve, Groaning, struggles back to his feet and rubs his nose while looking around for somewhere to go. [9] He notices a sign over the fashion section that advertises Jewelry. Now that seems like a plan!
He scampers down the fashion Aisles and through islands of clothing before reaching the big glass covered display cabinets and shelves of the jewelry section. Judging by the abundance of shiny things, this will be perfect!
[6]
He notices, out of the corner of his eye, a pair of sunglasses sail into the check out aisles from somewhere to the south east. Hmmm.
NAME: Garlic King
PHOTO:
https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/the-garlic-king/STATS:
Strengtho: 1
Speedize: 2
ThrustAdjust: 2
Hardsy: 4
Intellectable: 2
ViewBetter: 3
BMI +1
Kills: 1
Items:
Some Delicious Morton Garlic Salt, with which to blind my foes!(3.56)
Two bags, two pounds each, of garlic big enough to be used effectively in a potato gun!(18.99x2 = 37.98)
The Urban Warrior incendiary potato gun! Because those cheap toys are unworthy of delivering GARLIC NIRVANA!(49.99)
1 Bottle Lil Buns Baby Cornstarch (17.00)
Total: 108.53
Firstly, TAKE A DEEP INHALATION OF THAT BEAUTIFUL SMELL --- DELICIOUS GARLIC-ROASTED MEATS AND BURNING GLUE? The berserker high will be on the level of Florida Man!
Then, loot the body... carefully. We're mainly here for the scalpel and blades. Chain might not be bad either.
Then finally, a combination of paranoia, obliviousness, and GARLIC ROASTED MEATS RAGE causes THE GARLIC KING to execute a spin move with his new chain, walloping anyone creeping up behind him (hopefully)
Garlic King Strips everything he wants from Juliana's corpse while huffing the delicious toxic vapors of burnt glue and human flesh. He loves the smell of carcinogens in the morning. Smells like victory!
Once he's finished looting the body he does a quick spin with the chain, bludgeoning most of the products off the shelves around him and filling the air with about 40 kinds of glitter, paint, and white glue. The aftermath of his paranoid blind flailing is that he ends up sticky, chaotically colored, and incredibly sparkly. Like the dreams of a little girl if they were formed into a snowman and that snowman melted into a sociopath.
Keep running and grab the first laptop I can, and if anyone follows me throw some of my light bulbs at them.
NAME: Bin Head Bary
PHOTO:
https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/0-1.jpegSTATS:
Strengtho: 3
Speedize: 4
ThrustAdjust: 2
Hardsy: 3
Intellectable: 1
ViewBetter: 2
ITEMS:
1: Makeshift armour made of towels and tape
2: Rolls of Duct Tape
1: Used roll of Duct Tape
1: 18 Piece Screwdriver set
1: Squeegee with two screwdrivers taped to it
1: 6 Piece screwdriver set
1: 4 Piece screwdriver set
4: 4 Pack 60W light bulbs
Bary runs over to the lap top section and grabs the first one he sees. He then runs two steps away before being yanked to the ground. He looks at the laptop in his hands. A display model, affixed to the display cabinet with a metal cord. Blast! He tosses it away and scrambles back to the display. The actual laptops are under the display, in a locked glass cabinet. The price tag is $675.00. He licks his lips in giddy anticipation.
Find as many Legos/other small pointy toys as I can so I can use them for caltrop-related purposes. Continue looking for others to murder! My javelins thirst for blood.
Name: Billy 'Responsible Parent' Beatstick
PhotoSTATZ:
4 Strengtho
1 Speedize
2 Thrustadjust
4 Hardsy
0 Intellectable
3 Viewbetter
1 BMI
Inventory:
3 Knife Javelins, 2 ft long
1 Cotton Torch, 4 ft long (unlit)
1 Sledgehammer (not yet anointed with blood)
2 cans of WD-40
20 Lighters
2 Rolls of Tape
3 Packs of Juicy Fruit (It's Gonna Move Ya)
Loot:
Various pots and pans ($117.50)
Action figures (BIONICLE REPRESENT) ($78)
[5] Billy discovers a deluxe random bin of Value brand "Sticky Bricky" building blocks, 6 things of jacks, and a blisterpack of Uncle Roughhouse's "Sharp things to throw at your sister!" containing many gross and bug themed sharp things! The total value of these findings is $84, but their capacity to injure others is priceless.
[7]
Though he does not see anyone, Billy hears a lot of crashing, banging, and...sniffing? coming from the DIY section.
[1] Breadman, secure in his glutinous-ness, sprints about like a mad man, searching for valuables. However, his carb addled brain's definition of "Valuable" is pretty odd so he ends up with $26.95 worth of breakfast muffins, artisan bread, and tortillas.
Smith douses the area outside his ambush center in lighter fluid, using the entire thing up to get good coverage. He then overturns a display rack of glasses and is immediately disappointed to find they all have plastic display lenses. He hurls them over into the checkout area though, just to vent his frustration.
[3] As he hucks the last few pairs he thinks he sees some kind of movement over in fashion.
Steve, Groaning, struggles back to his feet and rubs his nose while looking around for somewhere to go. [9] He notices a sign over the fashion section that advertises Jewelry. Now that seems like a plan!
He scampers down the fashion Aisles and through islands of clothing before reaching the big glass covered display cabinets and shelves of the jewelry section. Judging by the abundance of shiny things, this will be perfect!
[6]
He notices, out of the corner of his eye, a pair of sunglasses sail into the check out aisles from somewhere to the south east. Hmmm.
Garlic King Strips everything he wants from Juliana's corpse while huffing the delicious toxic vapors of burnt glue and human flesh. He loves the smell of carcinogens in the morning. Smells like victory!
Once he's finished looting the body he does a quick spin with the chain, bludgeoning most of the products off the shelves around him and filling the air with about 40 kinds of glitter, paint, and white glue. The aftermath of his paranoid blind flailing is that he ends up sticky, chaotically colored, and incredibly sparkly. Like the dreams of a little girl if they were formed into a snowman and that snowman melted into a sociopath.
Bary runs over to the lap top section and grabs the first one he sees. He then runs two steps away before being yanked to the ground. He looks at the laptop in his hands. A display model, affixed to the display cabinet with a metal cord. Blast! He tosses it away and scrambles back to the display. The actual laptops are under the display, in a locked glass cabinet. The price tag is $675.00. He licks his lips in giddy anticipation.
[5] Billy discovers a deluxe random bin of Value brand "Sticky Bricky" building blocks, 6 things of jacks, and a blisterpack of Uncle Roughhouse's "Sharp things to throw at your sister!" containing many gross and bug themed sharp things! The total value of these findings is $84, but their capacity to injure others is priceless.
[7]
Though he does not see anyone, Billy hears a lot of crashing, banging, and...sniffing? coming from the DIY section.
He's a returning champion from season Three, from the depths of middle america! He played college football until he was unjustly banned for decapitating a quarterback! He came here to win his freedom and the deaths of the referee and college board that banished him, and with good old American grit he did just that! He's the Sultan of Sport! The King of Competition! The Bruiser of Balls and the Sweetheart of Spectators! HEEEEEEESSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
The cameras pan over to the sporting good section where a man is being lowered from the ceiling. He's an enormous brick of a man, 7 feet tall and outfitted football shoulder pads complete with giant metal spikes. He's wearing what looks like a hockey goalie's helmet, a centurion's metal chestplate complete with sculpted pecs and abs, Metal shin guards and knee pads with sculpted eagles, and steel gauntlets shaped like boxing gloves. He's got a bladed hockey on his back, a belt of iron footballs at his waist, and a metal baseball bat in his hands. And the jersey and pants he's wearing under all this are of course red white and blue.
He grabs a camera drone and drags it close to his helmeted face.
"Lets have a nice, clean, sportsmanly match today shall we?!" he shouts and then tosses the drone away with a hearty laugh.
Now Remember Folks, All Star's wired for audio and he hears all your demands! Audience members! Ghosts of past competitors! YOU TELL HIM WHERE TO GO! YOU TELL HIM WHAT TO DO! SCREAM YOUR DESIRES TO THE HEAVENS AND WATCH YOUR FANTASIES COME TRUE! NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS! NO ACTION TOO EXTREME! FORGET YOUR DULL AND MEANINGLESS EXISTANCE AND REVEL! REVEL IN THE JOY OF FATAL ENTERTAINMENT! THEIR LIVES ARE YOOOOOOOOURS!
But make sure to spoiler them so you don't reveal the locations of competitors to other competitors!
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Topic: BRAWL-MART: Episode 3: Screech, Rustle, Clang. (Read 31474 times)