Turn 14use my toes to preform the somatic components of the spell to regrow my arms
6You furiously wiggle your toes, substituting their motions for the recommended hand gestures. It works all too well. You regrow your arms, but then feel yourself getting taller. Your spine extends, and an array of extra arms explodes from your sides, leaving you looking like a giant reptilian humanoid skeletal centipede.
Walk in with my entire horde and try to run for mayor in Water tank.
3The guards at Water Tank's gate accuse your horde of blank-faced humans, chupacabras, clowns, and a single catgirl of being a cult. However, you manage to convince them that you are in fact a
rich cult, and then they let you in to buy water.
There is a mayoral election going on, but your horde runs into a complication upon trying to vote you in. It turns out that Water Tank's town laws state that only those who own one of several significant properties in Water Tank may run for political office.
run towards the chimera and try to ride it.
2You burst from cover and try to swing onto the chimera's back. Before you can get there, the goat head on its back notices you and forces you to retreat with its snapping jaws. The chimera is aware of you know, and prepares for a pounce.
oh cool, books. Maybe we can learn what that guy was on about, and whether that mist would have stopped our minds or just added knowledge
Read as many books of fell knowledge as I can. Knowledge is power, after all
6Gunthar, care to read with me? Might as well read what you crashed into, right? Maybe there’s healing magic in one of these
GUNTHAR sniffs, picking himself up from his state of triumphant disarray.
"GUNTHAR HORNHELM has no need for fell knowledge, HONORED COMPATRIOT-- GUNTHAR reads only the runic sagas of those MIGHTY WARRIORS who came before him! Thus GUNTHAR is inspired to ever greater DEEDS of GLORIOUS WARFARE!"
"Study the unsavory ways of our slaughtered foe if you will. GUNTHAR goes to purge this tower for his own!"
And with that, GUNTHAR begins his heroic wanderings of the tower he now finds himself in, seeking to ensure in violent fashion that NAUGHT REMAINS for FRIEND JOSHUA to AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH!
4Did the wizard left his clothes upon dying? If so, clean them and put them on as a disguise.
Regardless of the outcome (sans crit failure, I guess), carefully and stealthily search for milk in the tower, avoiding eye contact with the inhabitants when possible.
6As GUNTHAR takes a moment to recover, Rana and Joshua loot the fallen Follower of the Symbol's room. Joshua cleans, mends, and puts on his uniform, while Rana steps over to the broken bookshelf.
"oh cool, books. Maybe we can learn what that guy was on about, and whether that mist would have stopped our minds or just added knowledge" She picks up a book and flips open the cover.
"Gunthar, care to read with me? Might as well read what you crashed into, right? Maybe there’s healing magic in one of these" Joshua leaves the room for some stealthy scouting, while GUNTHAR stands up from the pile.
"GUNTHAR HORNHELM has no need for fell knowledge, HONORED COMPATRIOT-- GUNTHAR reads only the runic sagas of those MIGHTY WARRIORS who came before him! Thus GUNTHAR is inspired to ever greater DEEDS of GLORIOUS WARFARE!"
"Study the unsavory ways of our slaughtered foe if you will. GUNTHAR goes to purge this tower for his own!"GUNTHAR charges out of the room, and Rana begins to read.
"Chapter I:What is Acceptable, and what is Not."
"There are many things in the planes, now. They were not always here, but they have risen. They are things of Chaos. Of Will. Of Intention. They are not Acceptable. From Intention comes Will, and from Will comes Chaos. Chaos brings destruction, as the Milk Conflicts so truly prove. We of what is often called the "Eldritch Plane" are the end of Chaos, because we are the end of Will, because we are the end of Intention. The madnesses we bring shall make everyone Acceptable. No more shall Chaos reign. We shall bring the last dance, a dance of joy, of murder, and finally of silence. The minds and stars shall die, and the cosmos shall ever after be a thing of order again...
Rana."
With that, there is a flash of yellow light and screaming tentacles begin spilling from the pages.
Elsewhere, Joshua is exploring the lower sections of the tower. He reaches a vault with a carving of milk on the stone door, guarded by several cultists wielding scythes. They cross their weapons when you approach and demand a passcode. As he considers what to say, GUNTHAR heroically LEAPS into the room and VANQUISHES the guards. As they fall, they cry out in inhuman tones. A bronze door falls over the vault to protect it, and you can hear the sound of more guards approaching from upstairs.
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN
2You leap up and run as quickly as you can, stumbling in the snow, kicking up a cloud behind you, and finally leap into the air and bellyflop in the direction of your TARDIS.
At that point, your guard places a hand on your shoulder to stop you. He'd have done more, but you're still tied to the porcelain shard.
"Wha- PUT ME DOWN YOU MISSSSHAPEN MONGREL MISSSSSSSCREANT-" Ssarscel proceeds to launch a deluge of invective at their captor, struggling against it, trying to identify what the hell it is, so on, and such forth.
Mainly, we wants to get down to the ground safely.
1You struggle and try to identify the creature, but it doesn't help. It almost looks like several different creatures merged into one. It flies you up to the top of a nearby building, where it drops you into a nest made of sticks. Inside are several dog-sized masses of organs and limbs. The creatures haven't noticed you yet, as they are busily dissecting the remains of a captured sewer clown, picking out favored pieces and incorporating them into their own forms.
"I can make this thing work."
Drive it to Washington D.C. so I can see if there is any government left.
3You get into your new car and drive to Washington DC. As you enter the capital wasteland, you find yourself facing a threat unlike any you have ever faced before.
Washington DC's roads stretch out before you like a maze. (-1 on all checks to navigate in Washington DC.)
On one giant purple hand he is pretty close to his totally not nefarious goal of reaching the mountain, on the other giant deformed purple hand saving people will make the audience like him more as a character...
Juainos flies to the rescue of Ukulele person, wildly shooting lasers from his Flying Salsa
1TRY AGAIN TO TRAIN THE SMARTEST OF MY HYBRID OFFSPRING TO ACT AS SCOUTS, IF NOT FULL-BLOWN SPIES
MAYBE MAKE A START ON CREATING NEW, EXTRA-SMART BATCH OF POTENTIAL CANDIDATES, TOO
IF WE ATTACKED BY ANY FLYING LASER-SHOOTING HATS, I WILL UNPLUG MY HEADPHONES, REMOVE CD AND PLACE SAFELY ASIDE, THEN HOLD DISCMAN IN ONE HAND, SPIN AROUND ONCE OR TWICE WITH BEAUTIFUL FORM BEFORE LETTING GO, LAUNCHING IT LIKE A DISCUS OF DESTRUCTION AT ATTACKER
SOMETIMES SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE
65 vs 4, Juainos vs Yoink.Yoink raises a batch of hybrid infiltrator okapis. While fanatically loyal to the okapi cause and skilled in their work, (and very rapidly maturing) they hold their loyalties exclusively to the okapi people. This may lead to problems if they later judge Yoink to no longer be acting in their best interests.
Meanwhile, Juainos is flying into the area to "rescue" Shaun. A massive gust of wind blows him off course, and the airstrike he intended for Shaun's captors is instead directed at Yoink's okapi town. Several hybrids are killed by the Mariachi Lasers. Even the noble sacrifice of the Discman is unable to stop Juainos' attack.