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[Enemy post]

Turn 13

OH YEAH. Leave some of my victims behind to infect more people of this town while I shall travel with my main group to another town to spread the digital virus. Also, what happened to the guy with milk?

4

You leave a few minions behind to infect whatever stragglers survived your attack and march to the next town. After some time, your next target comes into view. This is the Water Tank. This wealthy town uses a collection of refurbished helicopters to transport water to this region, collected from glacial ice up north.

Advance towards the Dairy Queen castle.

3

You walk into the forest before you, toward the castle of the Dairy Queen. You hear a snap ahead of you and take cover behind a tree. Peeking out, you see a chimera stalking through the forest. The snake tail and lion head search hungrily for prey, while the goat head snaps at the branches above them. It's about to leave the area, but then the distant sound of ukuleles wafts through the trees behind you and draws its attention. The chimera is now walking toward you, but hasn't noticed you yet.

Onwards to Genericville.

6

Yes, go north to Genericville.

1

You both advance onward, reaching the blasted ruins of what once was Genericville. The crumbling towers speak to the destruction that took this city in the final days after the Event. As you reach the city, the howls and shrieks of its inhabitants reach your ears. That's all the warning you get before a winged creature swoops down and begins carrying Ssarscel away. Adam turns to save him, but then feels a worm mutant wrap around his leg from underground and try to pull him under.

Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun

1

You try to flee to the TARDIS, but slip on loose snow and fall from a ledge.

When you regain consciousness, you find yourself tied to a large chunk of porcelain jabbed into the ground. Several of the creatures are trying to open the door of your TARDIS, while another is assigned to guard you. It looks like it hasn't noticed your recovery yet.

"I know I should've gotten the turbo"

Just floor it, gotta reach the place eventually right?

2+1 for previous progress.

After a long flight, you finally manage to come into sight of Mount Washington. It's easy to see the massive Mug smashed against its surface, even from this far out. Below you, you hear the sound of blackened ukulele metal from a small village in the forest.

Grab onto the window's ledge and climb inside.
Proceed looking around the tower carefully.

3

"QUICKLY, honored compatriot! HURL GUNTHAR into that architectural maw, that he may purge it with PRIMORDIAL FIRE!"

And GUNTHAR raises his axe for the flight, ready to cleave AUGHT that WAITS THEREIN!

5+1

Throw Gunthar towards the window and follow him and Joshua in

4

Joshua catches the window and looks inside. Just inside is a sorcerer, dressed all in black. His face is obscured under a heavy hood, and he clutches a skull inscribed with this Symbol. The figure stands over you and raises the skull into the air.

"We are...happy, to see you. It will be good to have another join us. Together, we shall understand the Symbol. So many have joined before. Surrender to the mystery of the Symbol. There is nothing else."

Green mist begins to leak from within the skull and crawl toward you. This might have been cause for concern, if Rana hadn't just shotputted GUNTHAR through the window at him. The flailing AXE OF THE GINNUGAGAP rends the figure into dimensional flames, splatters whatever remains across the walls of the room, and splits the skull neatly in two before GUNTHAR slides into a TRIUMPHANT CRASH against a shelf full of FELL KNOWLEDGE.

"WAIT, WHAT? TERRIBLE QUEEN? WHO DAT?"   


GATHER TOGETHER MY WISEST, MOST-TRUSTED OKAPI ADVISORS AND/OR CONCUBINES TOGETHER FOR SECRET INNER COUNCIL

LEARN ALL THEY KNOW OF THIS MYSTERIOUS QUEEN WHAT RULES FOREST   
ALSO ASSESS GEOPOLITICAL STATE OF SURROUNDING AREA - WHO ARE OUR NEIGHBOURS, OUR RELATIONS WITH THEM (NOT THAT KIND OF 'RELATIONS', HEH HEH), ALLIANCES AND EMNITIES, THAT SORT OF THING   

BEGIN ASSEMBLING FORCE OF SCOUTS AND SPIES FOR FUTURE USE   
ALL SWORN TO SECRECY AND TO DIE FOR THE OKAPI CAUSE RATHER THAN BREAK UNDER INTERROGATION



IF I HAVE TIME FOR A MOMENT TO MYSELF DURING ALL THIS, LOCK MYSELF IN OFFICE/TENT, PUT BATTERIES IN DISCMAN, EQUIP HEADPHONES AND LISTEN TO ONE OF MY PRECIOUS CDS OF VERY KVLT, VERY UNDERGROUND, VERY HEAVY BLACKENED UKULELE METAL    

(I didn't make you roll for the information, since you could get most of this by just rereading other people's turns. Saves time to just give it to you.)
1, 6

You gather your wisest okapis to hear more about the situation, who regularly sends her servants out to harvest their milk for her personal treasure trove of the delicious substance. Along with her monstrous armies, she controls the wind itself and regularly uses it to destroy foes she considers worthy of her personal attention. The rest of the briefing is less successful. It turns out the okapis don't have any particular political relationships, because they're animals. This also means that, despite your best efforts, you aren't able to train them into effective spies.

After a frustratingly futile attempt to convince them that their giraffe relatives have a history of being quite good infiltrators, you head back to your office for some blackened ukulele metal. You decide to turn down the volume a bit from your normal level, just for the sake of discretion until you're ready to fight the Dairy Queen.

Despite that and your headphones, it's still incredibly loud by the standards of those not used to HAWAIIAN KVLT. You're considering turning it back up when your windows explode. Probably best to keep it at the current levels.

break off infected parts of my body, then regrow the bones to replace them

1

You successfully rip both your arms off. It seems like a great success, until you remember that the spell to regrow your limbs has somatic components.

"Damn government loving freak I was hoping people like him were all dead, but I guess not also that bastard cost me part of my antler."
Look around the car lot until someone comes to try to sell me a car, then get them to show me the cheapest car they have and buy it if I can.

2+1 for delay.

You search the lot until a saleswoman asks you if she can help with anything. After some negotiations, you're able to purchase a rusted hovercar. You can't afford any weapon attachments at the moment, but at least the fusion battery still works.

[darkwarlock3]

use my toes to preform the somatic components of the spell to regrow my arms

[The Canadian kitten]

Walk in with my entire horde and try to run for mayor in Water tank.

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

On one giant purple hand he is pretty close to his totally not nefarious goal of reaching the mountain, on the other giant deformed purple hand saving people will make the audience like him more as a character...


Juainos flies to the rescue of Ukulele person, wildly shooting lasers from his Flying Salsa

[King Zultan]

(You skipped my action.)

[ziizo]

run towards the chimera and try to ride it.

[Naturegirl1999]

oh cool, books. Maybe we can learn what that guy was on about, and whether that mist would have stopped our minds or just added knowledge
Read as many books of fell knowledge as I can. Knowledge is power, after all

[Imic]

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN

[Naturegirl1999]

Gunthar, care to read with me? Might as well read what you crashed into, right? Maybe there’s healing magic in one of these

[Enemy post]

(You skipped my action.)

Sorry about that. Your action's been added, with a +1 bonus.

[Glass]

"Wha- PUT ME DOWN YOU MISSSSHAPEN MONGREL MISSSSSSSCREANT-" Ssarscel proceeds to launch a deluge of invective at their captor, struggling against it, trying to identify what the hell it is, so on, and such forth.
Mainly, we wants to get down to the ground safely.

[CABL]

Did the wizard left his clothes upon dying? If so, clean them and put them on as a disguise.
Regardless of the outcome (sans crit failure, I guess), carefully and stealthily search for milk in the tower, avoiding eye contact with the inhabitants when possible.

[King Zultan]

"I can make this thing work."
Drive it to Washington D.C. so I can see if there is any government left.

[Enemy post]

A couple players haven't posted yet, so I'm going to delay the turn until tomorrow.

[Superdorf]

Gunthar, care to read with me? Might as well read what you crashed into, right? Maybe there’s healing magic in one of these

GUNTHAR sniffs, picking himself up from his state of triumphant disarray.

"GUNTHAR HORNHELM has no need for fell knowledge, HONORED COMPATRIOT-- GUNTHAR reads only the runic sagas of those MIGHTY WARRIORS who came before him! Thus GUNTHAR is inspired to ever greater DEEDS of GLORIOUS WARFARE!"

"Study the unsavory ways of our slaughtered foe if you will. GUNTHAR goes to purge this tower for his own!"

And with that, GUNTHAR begins his heroic wanderings of the tower he now finds himself in, seeking to ensure in violent fashion that NAUGHT REMAINS for FRIEND JOSHUA to AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH!