(I'm gonna stop saying I'm putting this thing on a schedule because that's not happening apparently.)
November 1, 4:00 PMIts sunny.Its FUNKY.A massive storm of FUNK energy is still lingering around the now devastated France, and parts of Europe and Africa.The town the game started in has been destroyed.All animal life on Earth has evolved into bigger, stronger, and FUNKIER versions of themselves, and they also hate all humans and pumpkin zombies and want to kill them.All the plants on Earth evolved to accommodate the newly evolved animals.An evil sorceress is doing evil stuff.The Earth has become an extension of the FUNKIVERSE.Avetruetotheimperator didn't post for the seventh time so random action.Kakaluncha didn't post for the third time so random action.WyrdByrd didn't post for the second time so random action.Smoke Mirrors didn't post so random action.Yoink didn't post so random action.Build some nukes
(5) Your cats quickly start building nuclear bombs, and after quite a bit of work they finish building four of them.
Sell my artwork and use the money to buy a studio.
(Selling the art = 3) After quite a while you find a guy that's willing to buy your painting.
(Do you get enough money to buy a studio = 5) And he gives you enough money to buy a studio.
(Buying the studio = 3) After quite a bit of searching you find the perfect studio, but it turns out several other people are interested in it.
Use Detect Magic to try and find the Sorceress’s magic, since the FUNKIVERSE and Earth are the same world now
(3) You use your spell to try to find the sorceress, it turns out the spell has a limited range and your only able to get a direction of where she is from where you are.
Summon two swords of pure FUNK and start killing every Imperial citizen in North America.
Holy African Union: Pray to make the FUNKSTORM bigger and more devastating.
Also HAU: Keep pushing the Imperial troops out of Africa.
(Summoning two pure FUNK swords = 5) Using your powers you summon a pair of the FUNKIEST swords ever created.
(Finding Imperial citizens in North America = 6) After searching all of North America you find that there are no people loyal to the Imperial government, and you also find out that they had escaped the continent earlier.
(Killing all the Imperial citizens in North America = 5) You would have killed the shit out of them if they were still there.
(HAU praying to make the FUNKSTORM bigger = 3) The continue to pray, but the storm only gets slightly bigger.
(HAU continuing to push the Imperial troops out = 3) They mange to hold the line but just barely.
Tear apart the parking lots to build the farms
(Tearing apart the parking lots = 4) Your people quickly tear up the pavement and remove the rubble.
(Building the farms = 3) They quickly go out and plant the seed as they could only find one type of plant, so I hope you like corn because its they only seed they could find.
Try and unmutate some more of the animals.
(3) You only manage to unmutate a few more of the animals.
LOOK AROUND AND TRY TO FIND A MAP.
(5) You spend a few minutes wondering around until you find a room with tools and things in it, and after digging through it you find a map of the sewers.
Continue the dead rising.
(2) Try as you might you can't seem to raise any more.
Have the army and guerrillas will continue fighting in Africa, the teams will switch to evacuating France and the affected parts of Europe, and all able citizens will evacuate the areas affected by the storm.
(Guerrillas fighting = 5) Your guerrillas manage to sneak into a AHU camp and blow up a bunch of their soldiers.
(How do the Funkists react = 2) They can't find any of the guerrillas this time around.
(Army continuing to fight = 5) They manage to kill off a bunch of the AHU's people.
(How do the Funkists react = 3) They manage to keep them from going further into the AHU and they kill a few of your guys.
(Teams aiding in the evacuation = 2) They can't evacuate anyone as all the paths have been blocked by rubble.
(Civilians evacuating to safer areas = 3) Only some of the civilians manage to make it to safer places.
(What does the FUNK storm do = 4) The storm continues to ravage the area and more civilians die.
Try to build the castle again.
(5) After much work you finally manage to build a full sized castle out of sand.
NPC STUFFHave the fief defend itself, while I go back to searching for survivors.
(The fief defending itself = 2+2 For walls) They continue to defend the fief from the mutants.
(You finding survivors = 5) After quite a bit of searching you manage to find a few survivors, that have manage to survive all the awful crap that been happening.
Keep the training going.
(1+2 For previous training) Your people continue to train, but don't get any better at fighting.
Try to study the books again, while the demons continue to guard the fort.
(Studying the books = 4) You find that they are books filled with several powerful spells.
(Demons guarding = 6) They kill all kinds of mutants, but they also damage the fort.
Keep trying to fix the commune.
(5) They manage to fix so much stuff.
(6) They fix more stuff but also damage some stuff in the process.
Kill all humans and destroy all signs of civilization.
(North America = 1) They all get killed trying to attack a building filled with people.
(North America = 4) They manage to destroy some stuff.
Places in space:-
Percent of Ziizo's Animal City destroyed: 0%-
Percent of The Canadian kitten's Moon DISCO BALL Base destroyed: 0%Percent of America destroyed: 48.23%-
Percent of Dustan Hache's fief destroyed: 2.34%-
Percent of Outsider's monastery destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Evil sorceress's fortress destroyed: 5.76%-
Percent of Spacenoid base destroyed: 0%Percent of Canada Earth destroyed 48.12%-
Percent of Pumpkin Hippy commune destroyed 8.43%Percent of France destroyed: 84.45%Percent of Europe destroyed: 16.88%Percent of Middle East destroyed: 0%Percent of The Holy African Union destroyed: 8.46%Yoink
Health: FINE / flaming pants
Inventory: loaded shotgun, a few lighters, some rolling paper, chips, candy, soda, glass bottles of beer, different kinds of chips, big ass sword, sword surfing skills, beer, a creature that's a follower has a handgun, first aid kit, a few rolls of bandages, sewer map
Kakaluncha / clothing fit for the Emperor of Mankind they inspire loyalty / The Emperor of Mankind / telepathic / telekinetic / really good at UNO
Health: FINE
Inventory: a bowl, two animated trees, Ninja Elvis costume, The Flying Guillotine, manifesto about the Cult to the Supreme Being, air plane, blood pilot, Maximilien Robespierre's ghost, Napoleon Bonaparte's ghost, knows everything about coups, knows about different propaganda, laptop, Leon Trotsky's ghost, Vladimir Lenin's ghost, know everything about revolutions, 34 ghostly Russian troops, Robespierre costume, a bunch of candy, 100 ghosts in the afterlife, some radiation as an ally, some mecha parts, more radiation friends, Comms that allow communication with North America, a bunch hyper evolved animal slaves loyal to you, several more ghost troops, knowledge on how to bring the dead back from the dead, even more mutant animals loyal to you, several ships, plan for indoctrination of children, three spaceships capable of flying through hyperspace, a few tiny anti-Funkist guerrilla groups
France: United, 331,124 follows, no radiation, super efficient economy, the most stable, efficient, and self sustaining version of France EVER, global superpower, great again, 97,432 settled refuges North America, several of the factories and power plants are destroyed, everything's badly damaged
Afterlife: a French puppet state, lead by distinguished puppers
Europe: back to what it was before the apocalypse, 2,488,765 followers, some parts are damaged
The Middle East: Rebuilt, 1,324,567 followers
Dustan Hache / knight / blessed with strength
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: slightly damaged Plate armour, shield, sword, one small candy, bowl of candy, two bags of candy, even more candy, one factories worth of candy, lots of fish, 21 survivors
Fiefdom: walls, lots of food, crops, Good moral, hunting party, water snake with arms that takes care of the crops, militia ready to fight
ziizo / like new again ULTRA-MEGA-ZORD made from ten zords and has nine animal pilots
Health: FINE
Inventory: road atlas, lime green hatchback with full tank of gas slightly damaged, large pipe, music CD, all kinds of cooking tools, mutant deer thing has the legendary laser gun, very big army of animals, zord manual, two space pirate ships, big laser, several large weapons, lots of raw materials, other stuff, massive amount of food, lots of water
Animal city: traps, trenches all around, razor wire, landmines, fortified walls and positions, more mounted machine guns, improved to with stand being space, space worthy, in space, space port of pirates, fields of corn
Naturegirl1999 / doesn't have the power to switch bodies / has telekinesis / knows the basics of FUNKY magic
Health: DAMAGED
Inventory: three followers
Spells: Light, Shield, Detect magic, Detects traps, Magic mapping, Resist magic, magic missile, disco dancing, power thrusting, several other advanced spells
CABL / second prophet of FUNK / Avatar of FUNK
Health: FINE
Inventory: incredibly close to the true wisdom of the FUNK
The Holy African Union: Better than what it was before the war, 3,388,234 Funkist followers, anti-Imperium propaganda, guerrilla fighters, dirty tactics, two swords made of pure FUNK energy
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES / Is Angry Halloween Kaiju / soul magic / ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN / combined with Samhain and Gates of Hell haunted house / blessing of strong bones and spookiness
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: 4000 page waiver that has to be signed to get into the haunted house if you sign it or read it you lose your soul, one soul, posters advertising the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE, Smoke Mirrors's ankles, thirty souls, a bunch of demons, all of Earth's gumball machines, necronomicon, bigger suit case
The Canadian kitten / ability to fly / god powers / mind slightly crushed crushed / explosion proof / higher powered god than you were before
Health: FINE
Inventory: can opener, some bottles of water, 9mm handgun, bike, first aid kit with aspirin a few bandages and a first aid pamphlet, knife, shotgun, rifle, .44 magnum revolver, anti-tank rifle, 584 cat army with extra sharp claws some of them are pregnant, a box of candy, several spaceships with weapons, small colonies on Mercury, Venus, Mars, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, 4 nuclear bombs
Moon DISCO BALL base: several buildings, a few defensive positions
Enemy post / employee of the month
Health: FINE
Inventory: rock, has a job in a "office" organizing files and papers regarding new species and issues faced by the new world, art supplies, masterpiece painting of the fighting in the town, money
Smoke Mirrors / Angelo and Diablo / couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to / one ankle / angel magic / OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS / on fire
Health: FINE
Inventory: six million souls, time machine, bottle of secrete stuff
Avetruetotheimperator / SPACE GUY / vauge space psychic powers
Health: FINE
Inventory: massive pile of candy, badly damaged small spaceship
Medium sized fortress on the planet:
Outsider / ascetic monk
Health: MORE DAMAGE
Inventory: 12 enlightened, 36 injured enlightened people, a bunch of tools, some of building materials, 277,997,762 enlightened pumpkin zombies, everyone's a competent fighter
Monastery: farm, wall, lots of rooms
WyrdByrd / FUNK-Master / increases FUNKability / ONE WITH THE FUNK / CREATURE OF PURE FUNK
Health: FINE
Inventory: 15 FUNKY disciples, 23 FUNKY creatures, LAVA LAMP, DISCO BALL, STEREO, 36 people enlightened about the FUNK
FUNKY Church: Filled with FUNKY stuff, "Holy FUNK book", split between two parties, leads the half of the FUNKY Church called FUNKODOXES, 12 plant creatures, foundation for a magical realm
Evil sorceress
Health: FINE
Inventory: 385 demons, 883 mutated animals, stack of magical tomes that can enhance your powers also have some powerful spells
Former gas station now a proper fortress: high walls, towers, a moat, in the middle of nowhere
The country of Oman has been destroyed.
If you wear a costume you become whatever the costume depicts.
The more candy you have the more powerful you become.
There's a massive army of animals.
The apocalypse happened.
Ceres has been destroyed.
Jupiter has been destroyed.
Super Hell has been destroyed.
The Unholy Pail has been killed.
VY Canis Majoris has been destroyed.
There's a demon bloodsports dimension.
The city with animals has traps.
The moon is much bigger.
Canada has be magically renamed to Earth.
The entire Earth has been covered with a wave of FUNK.
The moon is a DISCO BALL.
The FUNKY Church is a thing, and its divided, Half follows CABL and the other half follows WyrdByrd.
Large space station filled with aliens that are willing to buy your ill-gotten goods.