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[CABL]

Fire Elementals: Use harass tactics; don't kill Yoink, but also dodge his attacks.
Keep swallowing pedestrians and producing more fire elementals.

[Avetruetotheimperator]

Alright, send the APC back to base camp in order to have the injured get healed. While that happens, I'll be apprehending the fleeing earthnoids in my Mecha. Escape cannot be allowed, though I do want them to come back alive!

[Enemy post]

Try and finish the paperwork I didn't throw away. See if there's any corners I can cut, though.

[Dustan Hache]

“You are a thief, a coward and a scoundrel! I will defeat you in the name of god and all that is holy!”
Pray for the strength to banish the entity empowering ninja elvis!

[King Zultan]

October 31, 6:00 PM
It's raining.
Yoink didn't post for the third time so random action.
Smoke Mirrors didn't post so random action.

Even so, if Earth is under one ruler, there will no longer be fighting between the various nations, get back here!
Run after them and try to tackle one of them to the ground, if successful, slam their head against the ground to knock them unconscious or kill them, then attempt the same with the other one

(Finding out where they went = 5) After a bit of running you finally catch sight of them.
(Catching one them = 2) You then try to capture one of them, but you trip and fall as you try to grab him.
You then see the Mecha from the park run up and grab you and the people you failed to grab, you and the others get injured in the process.

USE 10000 SOULS TO GIVE THE HAUNTED HOUSE GATES OF HELL SENTIENCE!

(4) You use the 10,000 souls and give the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE V.3.0: 2 HELL 4 YOU sentience and it slowly stands up and begins to follow you around.

Find targets to snipe

(5) After looking around for a bit you see a Mecha run towards a group of people, then grab all three of them.

Swing my pipe towards the most close charging animal and prepare to defend myself from the rest.

(Attacking the close ones =  5) You charge at the closest animals and quickly beat them to death with your pipe.
(Defending against the rest = 6) Then you go on the defensive keeping the animals back and killing several, but after a few minutes of fighting you get pushed back and are forced to leave the hatchback and reposition inside of an nearby building where you start using the door as a choke point.

DUSTAN HACHE, I HAVE NO REASON TO FIGHT AGAINST YOU! IN FACT, I MIGHT EVEN CONSIDER HELPING YOU

Meanwhile, send the clones to bring me the most powerful beings on this town, so that I'm able to integrate them. If Dustan Hache tries anything funny, take out his head.

((Are my regenerative powers authomatic, or what?

(Clones getting powerful beings = 3) You send the clones out to get powerful beings and after a bit they comeback empty handed.
Suddenly Dustan Hache uses holy magic to banish the entity from beyond that you integrated into yourself, while your still in the Ultra Presley State you lose any abilities you got from the entity.
(Taking Dustan's head = 1) You then try to take out his head but you miss the attack.

Fire Elementals: Use harass tactics; don't kill Yoink, but also dodge his attacks.
Keep swallowing pedestrians and producing more fire elementals.

(Fire elementals harassing = 5) They shoot fire balls at Yoink keeping him from being able to come out of cover and shoot.
(Fire elementals dodging = 3) The fire elementals  don't end up needing to dodge Yoinks attacks because Yoink never attacks.
(Eating more pedestrians = 3) After a bit of searching you find another guy to eat and turn into a fire elemental.

Alright, send the APC back to base camp in order to have the injured get healed. While that happens, I'll be apprehending the fleeing earthnoids in my Mecha. Escape cannot be allowed, though I do want them to come back alive!

(Sending the APC back to get healed = 3+1 For being an armoured vehicle) The APC drives back to the park and uses advanced technology to heal themselves.
(Using the Mecha to apprehend the escapees = 6) You use your Mecha to run after the escaped earthnoids as you approach them you see one of the other earthnoids fail to grab the escaped ones, you use this as an opportunity to grab all three of them, slightly injuring them in the process.

Try and finish the paperwork I didn't throw away. See if there's any corners I can cut, though.

(Finishing the paperwork = 4) You spend the next few minutes finishing up the papers and have them all nicely put away when your finished.
(Seeing if there are any corners to cut = 2) You decide to try to cut the corners on one of the papers, and by the time you feel you've finished cutting the corners you end up turning the paper into a circle, and that didn't seem quire right.

“You are a thief, a coward and a scoundrel! I will defeat you in the name of god and all that is holy!”
Pray for the strength to banish the entity empowering ninja elvis!

(Praying for strength = 4) You say a quick prayer and are blessed with strength.
(Banishing the entity = 4) You then use this new strength to banish the entity from beyond that was in the ninja Elvis.

Leave Super Hell and try to arrest ANGRY again.

(Leaving Super Hell = 2) You try to leave SUPER HELL, but you can't for some reason it seems like somethings keeping you there.

KEEP SHOOTING THE FIRE GUYS.

(1) The fire guys shoot fire balls at you anytime you even try to look out of cover keeping you pinned.

Spoiler: Character stuff, so I don't forget about stuff. (click to show/hide)

Yoink
Health: SOME DAMAGE / flaming pants / cuts
Inventory: loaded shotgun, some marijuana, a few lighters, some rolling paper

Kakaluncha / Ninja Elvis / ULTRA PRESLEY STATE
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE / bloody nose
Inventory: a bowl, several ninja Elvis clones two stabbed in mouth one has been starbeamed one has the knights sword, Regenerative powers

Dustan Hache / knight / blessed with strength
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: slightly damaged Plate armour, shield
Fiefdom: walls damaged, low food, crops in bad shape, low moral, hunting party

ziizo
Health: FINE
Inventory: road atlas,  lime green hatchback with full tank of gas slightly damaged, large pipe, music CD

Naturegirl1999 / doesn't have the power to switch bodies
Health: SOME DAMAGE
Inventory: three canned goods, some bottled water, one person

CABL / Is a house
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE / knees
Inventory:
Some weird, hellish, 666 degree Celsius, plane of existence: five fire elementals one injured

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES / Is Angry Halloween Kaiju / soul magic / GOD OF HALLOWEEN
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: 4000 page waiver that has to be signed to get into the haunted house if you sign it or read it you lose your soul, one soul, posters advertising the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE, Smoke Mirrors's ankles, Samhain Attorney At Law, thirty souls, more than six billion souls, a bunch of demons, GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE V.3.0: 2 HELL 4 YOU: Has real monsters and mutants and sentience

The Canadian kitten / ability to fly
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: several cans of food, can opener, some cans of food, some bottles of water, 9mm handgun, bike, first aid kit with aspirin a few bandages and a first aid pamphlet, knife, shotgun, rifle, .44 magnum revolver

Enemy post
Health: FINE
Inventory: Toothbrush, rock, has a job in a "office" organizing files and papers regarding new species and issues faced by the new world

Smoke Mirrors / Angelo and Diablo / couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to / one ankle / angel magic
Health: FINE
Inventory:

Avetruetotheimperator / SPACE GUY / in Mecha
Health: FINE
Inventory: one mecha, three armoured cars, and a tank, some earthnoids weapons, two injured earthnoids

[Naturegirl1999]

Observe the surroundings

[King Zultan]

Watch the gazebo, alert the mecha if there are any more escape attempts

(Just gonna mention that you and the people you tried capture have all to been grabbed by the Mecka. )

[ziizo]

keep killing animals

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

FUSE WITH GATES OF HELL V.4 AND SAMHAIN TO BECOME THE OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN!

[The Canadian kitten]

Start shooting at the mecha, aim for the pliot

[Naturegirl1999]

”I wasn’t fleeing with them, I was trying to keep them from getting away. Where are you taking us now?

[Kakaluncha]

"You idiot! Then you have doomed your home! I was willing to tell you how you could save it!"

Send the clones to ravage his fief, and all of it's lands. Meanwhile, use the knight's sword to break his spine, so that he won't move anymore

[Smoke Mirrors]

Ahem

USE THE POWER OF THE HOLY GRAIL TO BECOME THE OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS.

[Enemy post]

Doesn't RGU have a claim on that idea?

[Dustan Hache]

“And yet you are the one attempting to destroy it and harm the innocents living there. You sully the name of Elvis Presley with your thievery, your blind pursuit of power, and your destructive acts against those who aren’t involved! have at thee!”
beat and bludgeon the rest of the magic out of him with my fists and shield!