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[mightymushroom]

Poz leaps back from the spilled container. What to do? After several deep breaths, he runs back to his office and searches through his orientation material. Aha! Form 12A-2! He prints a copy from his computer/printer and fills out the topmost portion, trying to remain calm, and sends it zipping down the tube. Now he can only return to Z11 and wait.

[King Zultan]

After teaching the new guy how to do his job Burt went and took a good look at his new office.

[Pavellius]

Poz leaps back from the spilled container. What to do? After several deep breaths, he runs back to his office and searches through his orientation material. Aha! Form 12A-2! He prints a copy from his computer/printer and fills out the topmost portion, trying to remain calm, and sends it zipping down the tube. Now he can only return to Z11 and wait.

You use up the last of the ink left in the machine, but it's enough. A couple hours later, Albot rolls in and cleans with mechanical efficiency. You can now safely perform your analysis.

After teaching the new guy how to do his job Burt went and took a good look at his new office.

Your new office is twice as spacious, and contains a simple desk, chair, printer/computer and ceiling fan. It's greatest luxury is the openable window, which overlooks a rolling grey hills in the distance. Since you're a manager, your extended lunch break starts very soon. How will you spend it?

[Naturegirl1999]

Maria heads to the brown building to try and clean the sinks

[mightymushroom]

With his printer out of order, Poz must write out his report by hand. It's not as satisfactory, somehow; certainly the columns aren't as neatly aligned. He has a vague dread that he's violated the Ministry's principles of order. (He also feels a little guilty about spilling the tank and not owning up to it, but he tells himself that it's not directly related to seedling performance.)

Poz attempts to engage the new robot in conversation:
"Hi! I haven't seen you around here before, then again it's only my third day working. My name's Poz. Do you like hamsters?"

[Roboson]

Poz attempts to engage the new robot in conversation:
"Hi! I haven't seen you around here before, then again it's only my third day working. My name's Poz. Do you like hamsters?"

Coworkerbot detected. Engaging socialization protocol 17c. Database analysis; key word search; "hampster". Small factor multiplied laterally via cuteness subchannel. Processing 26%... Processing 89%... Complete 100%.

Identifying nomic is Albot. Data shows hampsters are two standard deviations above the median in both cuteness and human love reception. Ergo, Albot does like hampsters.

[King Zultan]

After correcting a problem he caused Burt would go to lunch and see if the food managers got was any better, then spend the rest of the time looking out his new window.

[Pavellius]

Maria heads to the brown building to try and clean the sinks

Spic and span! Just make sure to order new stock of the cleaner you used.

With his printer out of order, Poz must write out his report by hand. It's not as satisfactory, somehow; certainly the columns aren't as neatly aligned. He has a vague dread that he's violated the Ministry's principles of order. (He also feels a little guilty about spilling the tank and not owning up to it, but he tells himself that it's not directly related to seedling performance.)

Most bosses would have penalized you for the handwriting and the spill, but not Mr. Higgins. He just asks you to keep that in mind.

As for the ink, you can replace that with any printer ink from the catalog (it may be called toner)

After correcting a problem he caused Burt would go to lunch and see if the food managers got was any better, then spend the rest of the time looking out his new window.

The managers use the same cafeteria as the employees, but they sit on a different side of the room and they all can afford to bring their own lunches. A few of the tables are welcoming, but you find their conservations hard to follow.

Back in your office, your eyes are drawn from the window to a letter on your desk. It's a stern rebuke from the building administrator, who says that your robot employee did not properly list the breakdown of the chemicals he brought to HAZMAT disposal. "Need I remind you it is your duty to check his work? He could have found all that information in Section 3 of the SDS."


Chapter 3: A Special Request

Human Resources needs to update its general application form. They want to create one version for humans and one for robots, both based on the application you all filled out, and they want your input on what to change and add. Each version needs to be designed to pick out the best from its applicant pool. And since bigger is obviously better, both versions have to be longer than the original.

HR encourages everyone to discuss and create more than one draft. Your regular assignments have been suspended until Tuesday, when HR will choose the most suitable draft for each version and give a bonus to its contributors.

[Supernerd]

For what may be the first time since he started working here, Carl Stetlon can be found working at his desk...

[Naturegirl1999]

Maria sits at her desk drafting two applications, one for humans, the other for robots
She thinks about asking her manager to.send some of the forms he did when he had her job, to show correct form completion and recites.

[King Zultan]

Burt would sit at his desk for a bit thinking about how he wasn't told about the need for the chemical breakdown in the 12Q-2, then look out his window for a bit.

[mightymushroom]

Poz has a hard time with this question; hiring and staffing issues are not what he signed up to do. He spends much of his time thinking about the robot he met yesterday, who likes hamsters, and how much humans and robots actually have in common.

[Roboson]

Initializing 'Day 1 Performance Analysis... 82% efficiency in subtask 'Remove Hazardous Waste... 04% efficiency in subtask 'Fill Out Forms'... Projected Managerbot-Burt1 Frustration Levels 91%... Emotional Output 14.12B, Source Albot, 'Sadness' levels measured at 78%.

Conclusion: Albot must be updated or perform subroutine edits to improve job performance.

Conjecture: Chance of Managerbot Burt frustration decrease 37%, frustration level decrease range 12-98%. Dependant process: "Write Hiring Form."

New Process initiated.

[Pavellius]

Memo — Human Resources — 01.09.2019

Here are the forms we've received so far:

Spoiler: General Application Form (Human) (click to show/hide)

Please fill out using a blue pen and black pen.

Date:

Last Name:
First Name:
M.I.:
Sex:
Phone Number:
Credit Card Number:
Email Address:
Permanent Residence Address:
 
If you own a Priority Rationing Certificate, write your PRC number in the space above:

What position are you applying for?
Can you prove that you are a human?
What languages can you read, write and speak fluently in?
Which word on this form is spelled incorrectly?
Where did you obtain this form?

Selected applicants will be notified within 3 to 12 business days. In order to prevent processing delays, make sure to answer all questions.

Spoiler: General Application Form (Robot) (click to show/hide)

Please fill out using size 12 Arial font.

Current Date and Time:

Serial Number:
Designation:
Manufacturer:
OS:
Permanent Residence Address:

What position are you applying for?
Does a set of all sets contain itself in it?
What sizes of floppy disks are you compatible with?
Which word on this form is spelled incorrectly?
Where did you obtain this form?

Selected applicants will be notified within 3 to 12 business days. In order to prevent processing delays, make sure to answer all questions.

Spoiler: Comments (click to show/hide)

Human form:
- There is a trap built into the very first line. Clever applicants will notice that the form should be filled out with a blue pen AND a black pen, not just one or the other.
- The successful applicant should NOT fill out the credit card number field for obvious reasons.
- Form now actually has a space above the Priority Rationing field.

Robot form:
- Form includes a paradox. If the wording of a form prevents a robot from filling out a form, it is probably a poor fit for the MOI.
- If a robot is compatible with floppy disks, it is clearly obsolete.

Both:
- The answer to "Which word on this form is spelled incorrectly?" is the word "incorrectly".
- Added question asking where the applicant obtained the form. I heard a rumor that someone got a job after fishing one out of a dumpster?

Human
General Application Form 27B-6
Please fill out using a blue or black pen.

Last Name:
First Name:
M.I.:
Sex:
Permanent Residence Address:
If you own a Priority Rationing Certificate, write your PRC number in the space above:

What position are you applying for?
What skills do you have that relate to the job you are applying for?
Any behaviors that deviate from normal we should be aware of?(this is asked so that we don’t have behavior/job conflicts)
What distinguishes a 27 type form from other 20 series forms?

Selected applicants will be notified within 3 to 12 business days. In order to prevent processing delays, make sure to answer all questions.

Robot
General Application Form 27B-6
Please fill out using a blue or black pen.

Last Name:
First Name:
M.I.:
Version:
Permanent Residence Address:
Do you suffer water damage?
Power source:
What position are you applying for?
What skills/programs do you know/are installed that relate to the job you are applying for?
Possible malfunctions/triggers of malfunction?(this is asked so that we can ensure that you can perform the job safely)
What distinguishes a 27 type form from other 20 series forms?

Selected applicants will be notified within 3 to 12 business days. In order to prevent processing delays, make sure to answer all questions.

We encourage you all to combine your best ideas. After all, every employee that contributed to the selected entry will be rewarded!  -EB

[mightymushroom]

Poz considered the examples of new forms that he had seen. Maria had some good ideas for robot questions, he used them to refine his own draft. He wasn't sure he liked some of Carl's questions; after his own experience being reprimanded for difficulty filling out his form, he thought they were unnecessarily complicated. After all, what mattered was the willingness to work and a love of getting the facts straight: this is the Ministry of Information, we need librarians, not spies!

Spoiler: Application for Human Workers (click to show/hide)

Please fill out using a blue or black pen.

Last Name:
First Name:
M.I.:
Sex:
Permanent Residence Address:

Job for which you are applying:
If you own a Priority Rationing Certificate, write your PRC number:

What is your favorite color?:
Can you swim?:
Do you have prior experience giving orders to robots? If yes, describe:
If given a choice, would you prefer food with more taste or more nutritional value?:

Signature:
Date (DD.MM.YYYY):

Selected applicants will be notified within 3 to 12 business days. In order to prevent processing delays, make sure to answer all questions.

Spoiler: Application for Robot Workers (click to show/hide)

Please fill out using a blue or black pen.

Formal Designation:
Casual Designation:
Model type:

Job for which you are applying:
If you have a Hardware Assignment Tag(s) from previous jobs, list their HAT numbers:

What is your favorite binary digit?:
How well do you tolerate water immersion?:
Do you have prior experience giving orders to humans? If yes, please describe:
What are your recharge requirements (battery interval, any nonstandard plugs or equipment)?:

Signature:
Date (DD.MM.YYYY):

Selected applicants will be notified within 3 to 12 business days. In order to prevent processing delays, make sure to answer all questions.