Turn 44dream of a repaired Moloko with clean floors.
6You dream of the Moloko. You dream that it is restored, and most importantly, with clean floors. The wreck lifts into the air as you make it so. As you do this, however, someone teleports a mail truck into the metaphysically overcharged Moloko. The mail truck mixes with the Moloko, creating an odd hybrid. It's mostly the Moloko, but the interior has been optimized for mail sorting and delivery and the exterior has the markings of the intergalactic postal service.
"What a strange sensation, I'm now all the Dr. Bob's and it feels weird, but that doesn't matter now as I have some small things to do before I go do some big things, like go win that award for scientific achievement that I've always wanted."
First things first get rid of the mail truck that's in my garage by teleporting it into the Moloko, all of the Moloko's, then go to Burt's house and get my keys and gun from my corpse while also telling Burt he's a dick for shooting me, then go to the award show and show all toughs other scientists my amazing self and get the scientific achievement award that I've always deserved.
TRANSCENDENTIt's a strange sensation, existing in every timeline at once. You appear before the Burt who shot Moloko Bob One, yell at him, and retrieve your things.
In the first timeline, he yells about the government and puts a few ineffectual bullets into you from your own gun before detonating a bomb under his house and devastating the region.
In the second timeline, he yells about the government and runs away, before burning his house down with your stuff in it.
In the third timeline, he's about to say something, but then gets snatched away by the power of the Unlimited Glove. You get your things back without incident.
In the fourth timeline, he quickly apologizes and gives you your things back.
In the fifth timeline, he gives a heartfelt speech about how he had taken his crusade against the Governments too far, that it was hurting both him and the people close to him, and pledges to work on improving his life and reintegrating into society. He hopes that you can be friends again.
The sixth timeline is the same as the fifth, but right after he finishes speaking he gets his head blown off by a Government sniper that was just waiting for him to finally drop his guard.
36 timelines spread from this, but since you didn't need Burt for the awards show they are all mostly the same.
In the first sixth of the timelines, the committee refuses to listen to you because the thoughts of a transcendent Overmind are technically all plagiarism.
In the second, the committee rejects you in favor of some kid's baking soda volcano.
In the third, you miss out on the award, but the real prize was the friends you made along the way.
In the fourth, you get your Scientific Achievement Award.
In the fifth, you get the award, are made ruler of Cervidae for your genius, and go on to win the award every year for eternity.
In the sixth, the kid has two baking soda volcanoes.
"Wait a sec Primus. Let me dust the Eldritch plane guys. Also what weapon do you want?"
Dust HALF of all Eldritch beings in existence. Then summon all armies of bad guys from the previous games (And Burt) to make sure NO ONE interferes in this duel. Then give Primus the weapon he wants.
Auto-5, Auto-5, Auto-5."I want a Hellgun(1) with infinite battery life, no maintenance issues, and will generally last me the entire battle. "
Prepare for the big battle for the fate of everything.
(1)https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Hellgun
No roll needed, since Thainos is just going to give you the gun.On the unknown world, Thainos and Primus prepare to duel for the Unlimited Glove and its infinite power over the universe. First off, Thainos notices the Eldritch creatures rapidly approaching to avenge the Seven. A second snap wipes out half of all Eldritch Plane creatures in a single fell swoop. They take the hint and decide to bide their time. After that, Thainos decides to shield the duel against any further outside influence. A clenched fist and a wave of his hand summons an evil army like none ever seen before. Chaos Marines make up the largest component, but they are backed by ATHATHs wielding Doom Mugs, The Great Goatsby at the center of an ouroboros, Lazru in all his edginess, swarms of chupacabras, a swamp witch in a spider hut, demon cows, Reptillians, John Wilkes Booth, zombies, milk cultists, 'Doctor' Matteo Schubert von Alvritcke, The Sun, Brotherhood of Nod troops, Dr. Florence Bedlam, demons, Burt, and countless others provide a perimeter. It's an impressive sight, in a feverish nightmare sort of way. Thanks to the Mind Milk's contribution, they're all under the control of whoever wields the Glove.
After that, Thainos materializes the heavy laser weapon that Primus requested and sends it over to him. Primus arms himself and readies for battle as Thainos considers what to use himself.
Follow through the portal Thainos left behind.
Hey! Query, can I get a sample of the molecular structure of the Milks-
*sees incoming eldritch abominations*
...I should have schematics in my memory banks for a Reality Reaffirmation Engine. I suggest you create one.
1+1You try to rush through the portal, but it closes too quickly. Thankfully, those agility upgrades you added prevent you from getting caught inside as it closes. As you look around for an alternate path, you sense a wireless connection. T'zzz has restored the Moloko and your servers to working order, but also made the ship look like a mail carrier for some reason.
Now that the Seven are gone, attempt to find Shaun and see if he’s ok, if not, try to heal him, if so ask if he wants to know why I’m in my current form, if he wants to know, tell him what all happened ever since the hyper jump, if not, ask what form he’d prefer I take, if Shaun or I get attacked at any point, try to enter the brain of whatever non Shaun creature is the closest and take control of their body
1, 5You try to find Shaun, but you aren't able to get to him. Your form isn't capable of interstellar flight on its own. The Z-wing you stole is still floating in the nearby Eldritch Plane's sky, but Shaun's flying a TARDIS. He could be at literally any place or time by now.
As you consider this, you notice that the Eldritch creatures still around you are visibly scared of something. Exactly half of them are then killed by disintegration. A human-sized one tries to lash out at you in its confused panic, but you drill into its main neural cluster and take over its body.
Silence: Tries not to break down into tears
Silence: Strifes!
2, 5I’m going to nope the fuck out of here. Find some secluded spot of the Universe, and dematerialize. Scan for exactly whay is at my front door.
If I have time, though, I should be safe in this place, since in between time you can’t really specify location. So... If it’s possible, do a proper look through of all the rooms easily available in this Tardis, and... Read up a bit on The Void, if this has a library. I’ve an idea.
4According to your scanners, the attacking creatures are beings from the Eldritch Plane. Given the timing of their attack, they were presumably allied with the Seven. You travel to a random point in the space between galaxies. The sheer isolation of your location and your TARDIS's natural security features should give some time to think. Speaking of TARDIS features, you get out the manual and read.
It's a normal TARDIS, so it has all the rooms and features that the show has established as normal over the years. There's way too much to list here, but you can find everything on the wiki article.
Name: Jordan Alexander
Description: Mixed race man with short black hair, light brown skin and dark blue eyes. One of the greatest special agents The Alliance has.
Rank (Optional): Spec Ops
Why do you want milk?: Chef demands it for some reason.
Spawn on Earth, in the HQ of Spec Ops.
Find a replicator to get a glass of milk. Give it to the chef. Win the game.
3, 4You are Jordan Alexander, Alliance special forces. You're one of the most experienced agents in the Alliance, with your exploits ranging from the Bug War of 2203 to the Nebula Bomb crisis. All strictly classified of course. Today you've been given a special mission. The base chef has requested that you bring him some milk. Some might consider this a menial assignment, but you know from too many painful lessons how bad a situation like this can get. You take a bit longer than you'd like to locate a replicator, secure the milk, and deliver it back to the chef. The chef accepts it from you with a salute and takes it into the kitchen. Some time later, he returns with the milkshake you ordered.
YOU WIN THE GAME!!!!!!Your wrist comm then beeps as Alliance Command attempts to contact you.
Ugh, man with infinity glove just destroyed them, there is certain space marine trying to steal this infinite power from this Thainos dude , is he on your side?
4Eliphas considers what you said.
"No. No servant of the Emperor is on "my side" as you put it." After a moment, blue and yellow fire seems to appear around Eliphas, but he somehow shrugs off the effect.
"I wonder what that was. Perhaps my removal from my timeline has interfered with whatever magic was just used against me. What are your resources, vampire? I require an army if I am to better assist you."
Author
Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3 (Read 136887 times)