Turn 43Everyone in the normal universe and main timeline hears this message:
Hello universe. It’s me again. I doubt many of you were alive last time I did this, so I’ll give you a quick rundown. Hello, I am Adam Simons, former god of the Sun, Angel/Demon hybrid, and I’ve saved the world about 10 times by now. To put it simply, you may have noticed we’re in serious danger of the world ending. We have 7 eldritch goats who are almost done eating the universe, and if they fail, then an eldritch being will end the world by waking up a little later. I don’t need you to believe in me, or to pray to me, or to do anything for me. The only thing I need, is for all of you to focus on one thing, your desire to not die. Please, no matter who or what you are, please, focus on your desire to live. It’s the only way.Take the copy of the Power Milk - what I can of it, at least - and yell out to Thainos and Primus with its power:
I don’t care what either of you want right now, but unless the Seven are stopped right this fucking minute, the entire universe will be destroyed! And- checks data -and immediately thereafter we need to make sure that the fabric of reality itself doesn’t completely unravel!
(Yeah, this isn’t really rollable actions. There’s not really rollable actions for me to take right now. Just go with it.)
(As stated, no roll)I hand over the Soul Milk, to the big Grap man, so he can snap away more of those pesky "gods". Certainly a good idea!
1+1 for being really easy....Kill him. It's personal now. Kill him and get the milk. And snap those dam goats out of existence.
Use the Unlimited Glove to snap away all goats and goatlike eldritch creatures in existence, then go to a place where no one will be able to find me and Primus.
(I took the liberty of assuming that you'd take the milk after Primus failed.)
3, Auto-5, Auto-5.On Vormir, Primus is just getting out of the pool with his new Soul Milk when a portal opens ahead of him and a very angry Thainos comes stomping toward him with the five other Infinity Milks glowing on his fist. All around the two, the Seven's telltale white gashes of nothingness in the sky betray the Universe's imminent destruction. Before Thainos can simply slaughter the Imperium soldier and take the Milk, a robotic voice booms out. Delta's avatar links the false Power Milk to the remnants of the Moloko's comm system to get out his warning in time.
"I don’t care what either of you want right now, but unless the Seven are stopped right this fucking minute, the entire universe will be destroyed! And- checks data -and immediately thereafter we need to make sure that the fabric of reality itself doesn’t completely unravel!""Just give me the Soul Milk and I can solve this! I can solve everything! Why do you still stand in my way?!"Because you think “getting rid of all the milk” is a more valid solution to milk scarcity than “making more milk”. Hell, just make more cows or something."Hey, who's the one who gathered all those darn multicolored Kinds of milk? Not you, now let me save the universe MY WAY in peace or get your own damn Unlimted Glove and do your fancy more cows plan yourself."Listen, if you just delete all the milk, people will just fight over what little milk-like substances are left, and probably more violently than before, because the increased scarcity will dramatically increase the value. It’s basic economics."La la la la I'm not listening"For fuck’s sake, man, this is literally the only thing stopping people from just giving you all the milks. Just use your common sense for a damn second.At this point, Primus speaks.
.....
Hey, you, Thainos! I got a proposition for ya!"...Sure, speak out, I'm all ears.""Alright, we both have one goal in common. The death of all those godly things that threaten the mortal universe right now. That can only be accomplished through the combined power of the Infinity Dairies. So, how about we complete the set, snap away the enemy, and then afterwards me and you can settle who gets the rest of the snaps mano e mano. Two wills clashing to see who's right and who's wrong. What do you say?""...Very well, give me the Soul Milk. So I may destroy the goats, then, I'll then take us somewhere else so no one can interfere in our duel. You have my word I'll not try anything funny."The truce is called and the universe is rapidly fading out to white as Primus holds out the Soul Milk. And then Primus slips on some water, dropping the Soul Milk on the ground. Thainos springs forward, dropping to the ground and slamming the back of his Glove onto the Milk. The shadow of the Void surrounds both of them.
Then, the shadow rolls back against the light of the completed Unlimited Glove. Thainos raises his hand high, and snaps his fingers.
There is a flash of light and a thunderclap. The Seven's damage to reality gradually reverses itself and fades from existence. Soon enough, no trace of them remains. Thainos senses through the Glove that his will has been carried out. The Seven, and their prophet Nuhg, have been utterly destroyed.
Thainos then opens a portal with the Space Milk and takes Primus with him for their agreed-upon duel.
The two find themselves on an uninhabited swampy planet well away from all charts. There's enough plant life to provide a tolerable atmosphere, but no wildlife larger than the occasional insect or harmless amphibian. They'd perfectly undisturbed, if it weren't for the fleshy creatures currently appearing from portals and approaching them.
(OOC:Now that it is completed, the wearer of the Unlimited Glove does not take bonuses or penalties. They simply get an automatic 5 on anything they want to do for as long as they use the Glove. Unlike the MCU version, it isn't harmful to wear. Milk is good for you.)
Try to find more blood and use it to create wings to increase flying speed. If possible, try to use my spike to drill into Nuhg by folding my wings in, and rotating myself like a drill. Once inside, start absorbing his blood, or ghostly equivalent, to increase in size within him while making my way to his brain. If all of this succeeds, look through his memories to figure out how to send them somewhere they can never escape, control Nuhg to get this accomplished, and make Nuhg forget how to summon them, while forget about the Seven entirely
(I’m not sure this will work, but it’s worth a shot)
4, 6 vs 3I assume I'm still at the co-dimensional bubble. Is there any Void milk left? If so, use it in a ritual to summon the mortal plane's mundane milk to the Eldritch plane. If not, instead attempt the same ritual, only using blood instead of milk as a catalyst for the summoning. Summoning some universe's milk shouldn't be that much of a big deal.
(The Void milk was used up, but blood works just as well for you. Also, I've included stuff relevant to you in Imic and Smoke Mirror's turns, since that seemed to make the most sense.)
3+1(Eldritch creatures:Find Thainos:
5)
(Eldritch creatures:Find Shaun:
6)
(Eldritch creatures:Find Adam Simons:
2)
In the last moments before his masters destroy the mortal plane, Nuhg honors his deal with the Eldritch creatures. He gathers up some of the surrounding blood and begins to perform a ritual to steal all the normal milk in the universe and deliver it to his Eldritch allies. The blood forms into a pentagram within a circle orbiting around him. When the spell is complete, Nuhg opens his eyes to see that the deal has been honored. A ball of milk larger than most planets is hovering in the Eldritch Plane. The beings within fall upon it, eagerly devouring the substance.
At that point, things start to go wrong. Rana grows wings from the leftover blood and shapes herself into a sort of infectious drill-dart. She launches herself at Nuhg, piercing his ghostly shape and slithering up toward his many heads, gripping him with her tendrils. Nuhg reaches through his own torso to stop her, but then his hand fades away. Nuhg looks down at it as Rana loses her grip and falls out. Nuhg rapidly starts to fade completely as an emissary from the Eldritch beings approaches him.
"You have delivered unto us the milk that was promised, Nuhg. We are sorry your plan did not succeed. Rest in the knowledge that we will avenge this slight. We shall track down your killers. We shall destroy them for this. Only this can be Acceptable to us now. Goodbye, Nuhg."Rana then watches as Nuhg becomes more and more transparent and finally fades away completely, leaving only a terrifying memory and the legacy of a being that came within a hairsbreadth of ending all existence.
Right. No rituals, no sacrifices, no magic. Get out of there, and Destroy the bones of the Seven. Burn them, shatter them, blow up the room they’re in, throw them into the sun, make the seven eat their own bones if it comes to it. This might not work, but it might, so whatever happens next, if the universe still exists, I will stand by it.
6As the Seven enter your TARDIS, you turn and run as fast as you can to the lab where the bones are stored. You even almost reach it before Seven catches you. She turns you around and grins as her six companions surround you. As you try to think of a way out, One suddenly groans and turns to dust. Seven snarls and turns to look just in time to see Two and Three join him. She hurls you against the wall in her fury and grabs onto Four, shaking him furiously. He falls as well, onto the pile of dust where Five used to be. Six plants his hoof on your head to crush it and take you with them. You feel the pressure build as he presses down, but all it manages to do is coat your overcoat in a layer of dust. You leap back up and prepare for Seven's final assault. Surprisingly, it never comes. She just walks over and sits down on the floor next to you, leaning against the wall. She sits peacefully for a long few moments until finally crumbling away. You are left alone in an empty hall.
Nevertheless, you quickly head into the lab and run all the skeletons through an automatic hammer until there's nothing left but a fine dust, which you promptly incinerate.
The Seven are gone. You'd take a moment to sigh in relief, but your TARDIS sounds an alarm as new hostiles teleport around the outside.
Hello universe. It’s me again. I doubt many of you were alive last time I did this, so I’ll give you a quick rundown. Hello, I am Adam Simons, former god of the Sun, Angel/Demon hybrid, and I’ve saved the world about 10 times by now. To put it simply, you may have noticed we’re in serious danger of the world ending. We have 7 eldritch goats who are almost done eating the universe, and if they fail, then an eldritch being will end the world by waking up a little later. I don’t need you to believe in me, or to pray to me, or to do anything for me. The only thing I need, is for all of you to focus on one thing, your desire to not die. Please, no matter who or what you are, please, focus on your desire to live. It’s the only way.
Harness the entire universe’s desire to live, to not be consumed, or blinked out, and release a wave of energy. A wave to destroy the 7, and put Azathoth back to sleep, and to restore what has been eaten.
!אלו חיים נפלאים
5+1 for being a Companion of the Grail.You reach out to the people of the universe. Many beings give you their power out of a simple panicked desire to survive, but the Alliance reacts with particular enthusiasm. Everyone there grew up with the story of the Grail's rise, and remembers your role well. Since you and the other Grail companions were thought to be gone forever, your return at the darkest hour is greeted with an enormous wave of hope. You are surrounded by glowing letters in an ancient language as the power fills you. Time to get to work.
Your first stop is the Void. You see the spirits of Nuhg and the Seven below you. They are recovering here, and preparing to launch their next attack when the Seven lose their forms and become shapeless evil spirits, unable to escape to another dimension. Meaning they can't escape from what you're about to do.
You rain down golden spears of light on them until even the Void's darkness is briefly overpowered by a blinding flash of light. When you finally stop, the Seven's corporeal forms have been destroyed by Thainos, their link to the mortal world has been eliminated by Shaun, and you have personally annihilated their souls and finished off Nuhg's while you were at it.
They aren't coming back.
When you leave, the Void will be truly empty for the first time. You spare a moment to pay respects to the vibrant universe that once existed there, and then leave it behind.
Next up is Azathoth. Conveniently, you sense that another being has already taken up the role of the Universe's dreamer. This may be much worse or much better depending on who it is. You decide to check. It's T'zzz. Make of that what you will. In any event, you harmonize with the mindless pipers and lead them in a lullaby to get Azathoth back to sleep and then head out to visit the Fates.
After they subject you to a painfully long conversation about how thin you three have gotten and prying questions about if you're seeing anyone, you help them repair their damaged threads and heal the Seven's damage to the Universe.
"Reality is a dream and I am a Dreamer".
Replace Azathoth as the being dreaming the universe into existence.
5You know the nature of reality well by now. Specifically, it's nature as a dream. Dreams are fundamental to it, after all. Dreams of a family, of a new job, of getting back home after the war. Sometimes they come true. Sometimes they don't. You have dreams too. Number one is of course getting these floors clean. Your next priority is of course becoming the new central Dreamer of reality. This dream comes true. You are now the being dreaming reality into existence, not Azathoth.
Silence: Takes a breather
Silence: Looks around
2"That fucking asshole shot me, we'd been friends since high school and how am I supposed to remember everything that we said over the years!"
Ask other Bob what happened with his version of Burt, then help make the Singularity Bob, and after that's finished I'm gonna call Brut and tell him he's an asshole and he's lucky I have cloning stuff, and that he better give me back my keys and gun, and that I don't think we can be friends any more.
4+1 for Uber Bob's help.Hooded Bob says that his Burt is pretty much exactly like this Burt. Probably the reason he shot you was just that Mutant Bob interacted with his Burt slightly differently. Burt had assumed you were that Bob, and killed you for breaking character.
After that, you and your other selves work together to complete Singularity Bob. He steps out of the hopper, nearly impossible to look upon from the burning light of the Sun emanating from within.
What follows happens so quickly that it's difficult to remember any one part. Singularity Bob flies into space and beats the DNA out of your entire solar system, before creating Singularity Bob 2.0. This process is repeated again and again. When you get to Time Bob, it starts happening across timelines as well, gathering up all those alternate selves. When you finally stop, all Bob's are one.
You are AllBob. You look basically like Dr. Bob's almost always do, maintaining the lab coat and deer head. However, you also look like several galaxies merged together into your Bob silhouette, floating over an ocean of DNA strands symbolizing different timelines. You have officially reached the apex of Bob evolution.
Lying wounded and scarred, accept my death (New character).
(No roll)You lie on the floor of the bridge, looking out to the sky. In your last breath, you see the Seven's influence disappear from the sky and die knowing that at least the world is saved for that much longer.
Lord eliphas, there are certain 7 xeno goat gods trying to eat the universe WITHOUT LEAVING ANYTHING TO CHAOS, this is quite a dire situation, can you, your legion or four gods of chaos themselfes, crush this band of abominations before there are no mortals left to serve CHAOS?
1Eliphas looks out the window and squints to scan the horizon.
"What goats?"
Nuhg and the Seven have been dusted by Thainos, had their bones crushed by Shaun, and were Spirit Bombed by Adam Simons. They cannot be resurrected.
Azathoth has been neutralized by Adam Simons and T'zzz. T'zzz has stolen his role, and Simons has put him back to sleep.
Thainos has collected every Infinity Milk and completed the Unlimited Glove!
OOC:I'd like to congratulate RandomGenericUsername for the way you played Nuhg. You and the Seven got really close for a minute there. I don't think I've rooted for one of the villain players so hard since ATHATH.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3 (Read 136387 times)