Turn 33I will add that I didn’t uh know that it was possible in accordance to the laws of physics for my thing to get into this thing uh okay new plan.
Get into my time machine, and go to some point in the past where there was plenty of time before the Goats would devour the Universe. Get tools, get equipment, and construct a personal cloaking device and detector shield. Get back into my Time Machine, remain in time periods before the old ones decided to devour the Universe, and go to Gallifrey. Find the shittiest, most uninteresting Tardis that no-one will miss in the most sad and forgotten corner of the planet, ensure it works, and dematerialize. Get to somewhere they cankt find me. Then, come back to the Moloko.
Now I get to see all the ways that my plan will fail. This will be fun.
(Wow, the dice seem to like you today.)
3, 6+1, 4, 4, 4, 3You quickly decide to exit the Time Lord's home and get back in your time machine. You do some quick repairs, set the clock, and arrive on last Monday. You find yourself back on the Moloko, before all the recent events took place. The ship is currently engaged in scanning asteroids for scientific studies. You sneak around the ship and pilfer supplies while nobody is looking. While you're at it, you construct a cloaking device and detector shield. As a result of stealing the equipment, your hardsuit suffers a major breakdown and fades away. Apparently, it had been scheduled for repairs.
Once you're done, you prepare for one of the most dangerous things you have ever done. A raid on Gallifrey itself, to steal a TARDIS. Shockingly, it all goes as planned. You get in, swipe a forgotten TARDIS, and escape with it. You stuff your old machine in a side room for now. After a quick stopover in the Jurassic to ensure you aren't being followed, you return to the Moloko. You're a bit inexperienced with the controls, which seem to be intended for multiple pilots. As you close in on your target, you rip a hole in the timestream, which pulls in Cap'n Crunch and launches him to an unknown destination. Still, you arrive at your destination with a shiny new TARDIS for your trouble.
Although not particularly shiny, the camouflage circuit decides to make it look like a portable replicator in this environment.
"So much for the anti-mutant initiative, damn cops were supposed to be the ones taking care of this kind of crap, but now it doesn't matter lets just get you patched up." He then pauses for a second before saying, "Do you still have the thing that lets you go to alternate timelines because we'll need to do that soon, as there's a universe destroying thing happening and the people that are trying to prevent it are morons, so this universe is doomed."
Grab the first aid kit and patch up other me, then go get my portal gun and use his device to go to an alternate timeline that doesn't have evil goat things eating it.
6, 5Your counterpart seems badly hurt. You attempt to fix his injured leg, but you make a few too many mistakes. Soon enough, the leg is beyond repair, so you simply remove it and attach a cybernetic replacement. Thankfully the shock and painkillers prevent alternate-Bob from noticing the exact circumstances by which he got the new leg. Afterward, you grab your portal gun and alternate Bob leads you to a hidden cave nearby. A time machine sits in the darkness. Dairy-creatures rotate a central turbine that seems to power the design. In a prominent location is a newly added tube that contains many DNA samples floating in a green fluid. Evidently, this is the future Uber-Bob. Your counterpart demonstrates how to operate the controls, and then you leave for an alternate reality.
As you look out on the horizon, you note that things initially look the same. Your counterpart explains that this is a timeline where the Holy Grail from Earth never rose to power, so that world remains a relatively primitive backwater and its powerful Alliance does not exist. This makes for a much more factional and divided galaxy. As a bonus, your own world is much more powerful here without the Alliance's ethical laws. The local Dr. Bob's DNA is still unclaimed.
No, you don’t get to do that.
Allow the holy and infernal magic that was absorbed into the seven, barely kept in a stable form by my being, to react like they really should, like matter an anti-matter, and blow them all up.
EDIT: You forgot my world saving bonus.
3+2You reach out and stir the power that was stolen from you, awakening the full fury of righteousness, sin, and simple universal accidents. At that moment, Thainos takes a shot through the dimensional portals, adding in a touch of the Power Milk to your resources. The resulting explosion reduces the Seven to ribbons and blood, but somehow you sense that they aren't completely dead.
Alright, The Seven won't eat the Eldritch plane. We'll join forces to destroy the mortal plane and give the eldritch creatures the planes of Void and Hell as requested. This way, they get 2 universes and our cooperation.
2"This is not acceptable. The Void, Hell, and Mortal planes will be given to us. You and yours will serve us."At that point, an attack from Thainos and Adam Simons causes a massive explosion and tears your deities apart. However, the living flesh is frozen into place by the will of the Eldritch creatures, who hold them as implicit hostages.
"We will restore. You will serve. That would be acceptable."Blast one of the seven while going towards the Doom Mug.
6, 6-1You take aim, line up a shot, and fire at the Seven while flying through the Void. The resulting explosion is surprisingly massive, even by the Power Milk's standards. A portion of the shockwave reaches through the portals and strikes you, hurling you wildly into the nothingness. Thankfully, with a few bursts from the Glove to get yourself back on course, you're finally able to catch the side of the Doom Mug and shove your fist into the dead milk floating still at the edge. You cry out in pain as the Glove makes contact. However, when it's over, you draw back the Glove to see a new blue light accompanying the older purple one. Four empty slots remain.
As you look at it, floodlights light up the Void around you. The Moloko has arrived and is hailing your personal communicator.
Engaging the void-traversing engines, setting coordinates...
Once there, either beam down and fight Thainos (if he's on a ground/planet/whatever), burn him to a crisp with the ship's laser systems.
(In under the wire with that edit.)
6You leave the Solar System and fly out to stop Thainos. You launch into space with the Void navigation suite already in place by the time you hit the dimensional bubble where the Bazaar used to be. With your engines, it doesn't take long to find him. Thainos is currently clinging to the edge of a Doom Mug, having just captured a sample of milk. Energy readings for the golden gauntlet on his left hand are nearly off the charts. You open a communication line to Thainos.
Engaging the void-traversing engines, setting coordinates...
Once there, either beam down and fight Thainos (if he's on a ground/planet/whatever), burn him to a crisp with the ship's laser systems.
Alternately, we’ll try negotiation. Or at least first.
I’m locking the lasers from non-me control until we’ve at least tried negotiations first. If we’re attacked or we determine that negotiations have broken down then I’ll unlock them.
3You lock down the lasers to try and force Captain GiantDad to use diplomacy first. Your Alliance programming considers this a good move and rewards you with one subconscious thumbs up.
Look around for more blood and other liquids to absorb from all the previous fighting to grow and gain more tentacles
5A colossal explosion occurs just before you begin your search. Apparently, someone hit the goats pretty hard. There's now more than enough blood here for you to upgrade yourself pretty much however you want. So long as you like being red, at least.
climb into the boat is time to punch more people.
5As the fishermen work, you creep aboard their ship and remind both them and yourself that even through all the pseudo-deaths and janitorial work, you are still a terrifying mass of tentacles with venom stingers. You massacre your way across the ship until you reach the captain's quarters. The crew backs away in fear as the captain thuds out with a wooden leg and a disdainful grimace. Wordlessly, he pulls out a small metal cylinder. With a
snap-hiss noise, it reveals the blue blade of a laser sword. He also tosses a similar weapon to you, still deactivated. Apparently he likes a fair fight.
send bats, rats and whatever after droog leader
use vampire powers to change mime comic style and narrative into anime for 2 turns
(No bonus for the second one, since that's not really a vampire power.)
4+1 vs 4, 3You send the creatures of the night after Borek, and take some satisfaction in telepathically sensing them pursuing him through the tunnels. You also decide to have some fun by infusing the mime with Anime. You cast a spell, keeping an eye on Silence from the shadows while he wanders the ship in search of a new pair of gloves. It works a bit, but the effect isn't as long lasting or complete as you would have liked.
Silence: Goes on a quest to get new gloves!
4