Turn 17Slow and steady wins the race. Continue channeling the summoning of the 3 remaining eldritch goats.
4It is done. A great portal opens to reveal a shattered Hell. From this portal emerge the last three monsters. Three and Two are first, and they are soon overshadowed by Seven herself. The goats rapidly begin to break down basic concepts and devour everything in sight. This place will die soon, and the rest of the universe might soon follow. A bright flash sears your vision as the Moloko launches several nukes at your gods. Your gods are angered and burned, but not slain. The Moloko and the Sanctuary II release warriors to fight them, but it doesn't help.
Dump thermonuclear torpedo prototypes into teleporter with coordinates set to false gods location
Enjoy science, cheeky xeno goat abominations
3 vs 2You decide to temporarily set aside your crusade against all xenos to stop the more immediate danger of the goat abominations.
You set the fuses on a wheelbarrow full of nuclear torpedos, rush them through the ship, and dump them into the transporter in the nick of time. You watch with satisfaction through a viewport as the seven goat abominations are rocked by the blast.
Reprogram the teleporter, lock onto the DNA of every Wildebeest on the ship, and teleport them to the creatures currwntly gnawing at the edges of exiapstance! LET THEM FEEL THE WRATH OF THE WILDEBEESTS!
Also, while there is no shred of doubt in my mind that this plan will succeed in every imaginable way, shape, and form, I will try to get the time machine operational, just in case the unthinkable happens, and the Wildebeests fail to save the Universe.
4, 2 vs 5, 1You swing down to the teleporter from a cable and hit the controls. Once reprogrammed, the teleporter hurls every wildebeest it can find at the Seven. The wildebeest stampede rushes toward the Seven and breaks against their claws like water on rocks. Even assistance from Thainos' army and Adam isn't enough to save them. On the ship, the cloning device you left running slowly replenishes their numbers.
You leave the area and go find your faithful time machine in the secret chamber you retroactively installed earlier. When you get there, you find it in pieces. One of the cracks in reality has pierced this room. Your time machine hangs frozen in the air, sliced into several pieces and ignoring gravity. It is accompanied by several pieces of Victorian furniture that have been similarly disassembled.
Go with R'cccc to the black galley.
Self defense cybernetics try to hack into the aggressor drones turning them into servants.
3, 1You follow R'ccc to a dream-river made of air between two coasts of solid water. R'ccc leads you aboard the vessel. You almost think that this was too easy when a bunch of
satyr-like men surround you. R'ccc turns to you and dismisses a magical illusion, revealing that he too is one of them. The Men of Leng demand that you surrender.
In the real world, your cybernetics are unable to hack the drones through the force field.
You are the crew of the starship Moloko.
You ran out of milk.
You must acquire more.
GATHER MY TRUSTY DROOGS
SEE IF WE CAN VIDDY ANY MILK
(Welcome back, Yoink! You're doing Clockwork Orange, right? I'll need to research that.)
5You and your fellow Droogs walk through the cargo bay of the Moloko, beating up the occasional crewman and committing various crimes. You do so many crimes that it's actually noticeable even under the currently apocalyptic circumstances. In the process, you viddy a crewman enjoying a game of holochess with a bottle of sentient milk.
Go to one of the ships labs and make sure I'm alone, then take all the DNA I've been gathering and combine it together using the power of science and create an ABOMINATION then release it into the ship.
(Out of curiosity, is Dr. Bob a human who gave himself a deer head through DNA shenanigans or is he an alien who happens to have a deer head? Or maybe he's a deer who gave himself a human body?)
6You step away from the DNA vault and take a short walk over to the bioengineering vats. You dump the DNA into the vat and it clatters into a large pile at the bottom. You rush over the controls, creating with the fervor of a mad artist in his element. Delta tries to stop you, but the damage to his systems prevents him from offering any distractions. Finally, it is done. The vats gradually spin down after mixing the DNA and the safety lights go from a disappointing green to an exciting flashing red. Your ABOMINATION tears through the vat's lid and stands atop it, furiously shrieking. Your creation is a thing of beauty, all claws and spikes and triple jaws. Slime drips from the ABOMINATION's grayish hide as it regards you. The creature releases another gagging shriek and pounces toward you with murderous intent clearly visible in its eye.
Hello, you should not have made me wake up.
Burn away the divine essence of the goats, leaving them nothing but normal goats.
1 vs 5You fly out at the head of the combined forces of Thainos and the wildebeest. You try to burn away the goat's divine essence, but then Seven makes eye contact with you. Visions of Hell in ruins and countless demon casualties strike at the fiendish part of your essence and stop you in your figurative tracks.
Silence: Keeps waiting
1Go to one of the ships labs and make sure I'm alone, then take all the DNA I've been gathering and combine it together using the power of science and create an ABOMINATION then release it into the ship.
:|
Stop this.
And work on fixing my connection to the ship.
2, 2-1Things are going badly. You try to prevent Dr. Bob's work and repair the damage to your system, but the pollution of unreality caused by the Seven makes things difficult. You check the computer system's code and find that the underlying binary is full of twos.
Order my stone kid and Squidward to join the invasion and bring me the chupathingie.
Then send the mooks from the first movie to deal with those goats gods. I am the only one that's inevitable here.
1, 3 vs 6You send out your Stone Kid and Squidward to look for a chupathingie, but lose contact with them when your comlink comes to life, bites you, and scurries away.
You then send the
Chitauri to try and stop the goat gods. You watch from your seat as your minions deploy a force of troops mounted on hovercrafts and accompanied by a pack
Leviathans. On the way, the Alliance ship hits the goats with a nuclear bombardment and your forces are joined by a divine being and a host of hapless herd animals that were apparently used as projectiles. You know what it's like to lose, but it's still disappointing when all this fails to bring down the goats. The goats break the initial force and go back to rapidly disintegrating this system.
Conduct a ritual to summon a physical incarnation of one of the Seven in the cargo bay, but don't forget to activate the turrets before doing it.
2You try to summon one of the Seven into a trap, but it's too late. They're all already here.
Unless somehow prevented, the Seven will devour this star system in a single turn.The Moloko is repaired and ready to leave at any time. Just saying.