Turn 16Fine then, I'll do it myself...By sitting on my butt. Deploy the generic alien mooks army to attack the Bazzar.
4, 4 vs 1You decide to simply sit down and wait. After all, the inevitable doesn't need to hurry. You watch with satisfaction as your ship breaks through the dome of the Bazaar and your
Outrider dropships crash into the streets.
"Sucks that that guy stole my death ray, but at least my spare DNA was still where it was supposed to be."
Go to my room and get my gun, then go to the lab and search around for the DNA storage and take all of it.
6, 4You run to your room and grab your gun. It's a fairly large rifle, which prevents you from concealing it and scares people around you. In light of current events however, nobody cares enough to stop you from going to the lab and swiping all the DNA. You stash it away in a specially modified Barbasol can.
MILK THEM! MILK THEM AND MAKE MY TEA!
(Ahg, sorry about this. I was really hoping to describe your character milking a stampeding wildebeest.)
1You attempt to tackle and milk a wildebeest, but you can't find a way to get into the stampede without being trampled and killed. You leap up on a hanging pipe as the herd rushes beneath you like a river. The stink of the panicked animals fills the air and their hooves clatter against the metal flooring.
Use the rest of the milk and finish summoning the rest of the Seven from hell, preferably before this part of the universe collapses or whatever happens when ancient eldritch goat demon gods gnaw on reality.
3Apparently the Seven would like to take their time. You summon Six and One through another portal. The two caprine deities join their compatriots in gnawing reality. More than half your gods have broken through to this world.
˙pɐq ƃuᴉʇʇǝƃ ǝɹɐ sƃuᴉɥ┴
...welll, I don’t think I can ignore the end of the world anymore. There a big white cracks in the sky. I mean, the devil was just mentioned so this is as a good a time as any. EP, active schroedinger’s angeldemon.
Stop the computer virus, we need the AI... you dumbass.
1Eject the sonic weapon, completely shut down the comms system, destroy the cassette tape if possible, and put out an antivirus and anti-hacking patch for all Moloko software.
4, 6, 5, 2 release computer virus to ruin AIs ability to interact with the ship, failing that kill AI with targeted DDOS
2+1 for "Joshua's" unintentional assistance.Joshua looks out a window and sees four giant goatmen opening cracks in the fabric of reality. He also senses catastrophic damage occurring somewhere far below. "Joshua" blinks once and his gray eyes turn heterochromatic. Blue and red. "Joshua", whose real name is Adam Simons, draws an ancient sword seemingly from nowhere. One side is decorated with holy patterns, and the other is twisted and demonic. Simons then sprouts a pair of similarly mismatched yet balanced wings from his shoulders and flies off.
In the basement, Boris and Delta engage in a furious hacking duel. As they battle, they debate the merits of Boris' plan to indiscriminately slaughter every nonhuman in the area over Boris's anger toward the ship's janitor. In the end, Delta wins the duel. The AI manipulates the gears of the cassette player to rip the weapon's tape apart, melt it with friction, and eject it. Delta also burns out the ship's speakers to ensure that the device can't be played even if Boris could save it somehow. Boris doesn't take all this without fighting back, of course. As Delta attacks the sonic weapon, Boris attempts to upload a virus that could prevent Delta from interfering in the xeno purge. Boris defeats Delta's efforts to bolster the ship's antivirus, but his human reflexes are simply not enough to best Delta's inhuman speed.
As if things couldn't get any worse for Comrade Scientist Boris, Adam then leaps down the stairs and rushes forward with his sword in hand. Adam is about to land a clear blow to the neck when a wildebeest charges from out of nowhere and knocks him off course. Adam flies past Boris and smacks against the keyboard. In the impact, Adam hits a random assortment of keys that happen to be almost exactly what Boris needed. Several of Delta's admin permissions are deleted as a result.
Immediately thereafter, Adam rises back up. He and Boris square off for a battle, but then the sound of thundering hooves echoes from up the hallway. Dust surges forward as the rest of the gnu threat stampedes toward them.
Delta has -1 on rolls to control the ship's computers.(Silence: Admires a amazing training montage!)
Silence: Cheers!
Silence: Looks at name tag
Silence: Face palms
Silence: Thinks for a second
Silence: Has a idea!
Silence: Draws a picture of milk
Silence: Points at Douge
Silence: Points at picture of milk
Silence: Points in the distance horizon
Silence: Waits for Douge to get back
2fall asleep and dream of visiting gelatinland.
Meanwhile themdefense system of my cyborg parts activates and attack my aggresors without input from T'zzzz
4, 6As your waking consciousness fades, your subconscious begins to dream. You find yourself in a vast swamp of jello. As you bounce about with other tentacle beings, you look out at the horizon. In the distance, you can see the dreamscapes of other sleepers. Here, however, a fellow mass of tentacles with the face of the famous celebrity R'ccc asks you for help investigating a nearby seagoing ship. He describes it as a black galley.
You are also dimly aware of a brief struggle in the real world.
Activate the jailer drones, who shall patrol the prisoner cells. If T'zzz wakes up and tries to escape, then the drones will use their syringe guns to shoot sedative at him.
5You call for a squad of jailer drones, who lock up T'zzz in the brig. His cybernetic tentacles attack the guards, but all this does is cause the guards to inject more powerful sedatives and use electric weapons to disable the cybernetics.
Four of the Seven goat deities have been released in the mortal universe, and Thainos' army is invading the Bazaar.
Unless prevented, the Seven will devour this star system in four turns.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3 (Read 137185 times)