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[Enemy post]

Turn 14

sample of milk from a chupacabra.

This fuckery XD

Anyway try some more durable clothing. Maybe something with elastic in it, so it can stretch better? Of course, remove the rags as part of this.
Even if I can't get it to work now, I can at least have it ready for later.

And also figure out where the janitor's unknown location in the ship is. Send securitybots to apprehend them if found.

6, 3

You finally find some an outfit that is both durable and elastic enough for your purposes, while presenting a sufficiently nonthreatening image to organics. The only thing that strikes you as a potential problem is the bright red shirt, for some reason.

You trace the signal loss from the transporter to the engine maintenance section. The quantum disentangling capacitors create too much interference for you to track him any more specifically in there. You deploy securitybots, but they haven't found him yet. A loud thud from the robot repair room just outside the section provides a clue, however.

Grab my the knife that's hidden on my person and stab the DNA thief, then grab my DNA and put it back inside me.

2-1 vs 3

You draw the knife and go for the kill, but you're not fast enough with your current wounds. The DNA thief knocks you out with a boot to the face.

When you wake up, you find yourself still lying in the alleyway. You quickly check your blood and find that all of your DNA has been stolen.

Ugh, bazaar police, well, we did not know, that our janitor would turn out to be dangerous xeno criminal, but unless you assist us in eliminating him , he would probably push revolt to your bazaar.

As all the problems we had so far were caused by actions of xenos, go to bioweapons lab and look for any sample which is lethal to nonhuman lifeforms.

6, 4

You convince the police to assist you in the hunt. They quickly deploy troops to sweep the Bazaar for the traitor, but they are unable to find anything since T'zzz has already left. They capture and imprison an unrelated mass of tentacles instead, falsely convicting him of T'zzz's crimes.

You consider how the filthy xenos were behind your recent trouble and decide to strike back. You head down to the bioweapons lab in search of something to ensure human dominance. You open a promising vault and take out a powerful sonic weapon. The warning label on the case states that it emits a sound that induces a fatal reaction in nonhuman sentients.

go to the robot repair room to see if the robots there were repaired (and had their Dapperness increased) with the rest of the ship.

6

Pursue the traitorous janitor and butt him with my Zweihander, hopefully knocking him unconscious.
Put him in the brig/ship's jail.

3, 3 vs 3

I'd just like to say right now that Joshua has extra-sensory perception when it comes to world ending scenarios.

locate the janitor and have him brought in for trial on the previously stated charges.

6, 3 vs 3

T'zzz squirms into the robot repair room to check on the robots there. He finds that they have indeed been repaired and made more dapper. In fact, the robots here are now so dapper that they refuse to work, instead sitting about and regaling each other with monotone stories of fox hunts gone by.

At that point, T'zzz is interrupted by Joshua and GiantDad bursting into the room. The two officers charge the janitor, who flails back at them. What looks to be an epic fight is then robbed of much of its dignity when they all collide headfirst into each other and fall down.

To Space Mexico then. In search of a Chupathingie.

3

Space Mexico. As any student of history knows, the mobile star nation of Space Mexico was born when Mexico That Was abandoned the polluted Earth and jetted off into space with concealed rockets and an atmosphere dome. Surely, Space Mexico will be an excellent place to find chupacabra milk. Squidward then reminds you that you don't currently have a ship at your command.

He plays a consoling clarinet song as you consider the problem.

Silence: Waits for Douge to get back
Silence: Gives Douge some food and water for his hard work
Silence: Looks at the wikipedia page
Silence: Looks at Douge
Silence: Looks back at the wikipedia page
Silence: Looks back at Douge
Silence: Paints Douge black
Silence: Gives a thumbs up

5

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Quietly curse, and have a stiff drink to calm my nerves. Once inebriated, go to the highest security area I can with a bucket and mop, tell them I’m going to be cleaning up, and then use the terminals there to bypass security measures of the bazaar and re-organize every single thing on sale, by placing nappies in the frozen food sections, men’s clothing in the medecine sections, and extremely smelly cheese in the places that sell perfume. If that works, then find some way of activating a security alert there using the chaos caused as a distration to the Bazaar’s AI. From there, put every single penny in the Bazaar’s vaults into our ship’s account. If I can’t have milk for my tea, I’ll cause confusing, one-sided chaos until I can come across some by chance.

1+1 for hardsuit.

You try to hack the Bazaar again. You nearly trip an alarm and alert them, but the tools in your hardsuit keep things from getting that bad.

Gnaw the universe.

1

Five of Seven accidentally wastes a round chewing on time instead of space.

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

Call the other three children I have to come to pick us up. Big stone one, stealthy one, girl one and other girl one that's blue but isn't my favorite daughter.

[Smoke Mirrors]

Canonically, the Stealthy one and Girl one were married.

[randomgenericusername]

Use that milk I bought last turn, and complete the summoning of the Seven (the remaining ones which are currently devouring hell, Five is already here).

[Glass]

Send the securitybots to the origin of the thud.

As a side note, is the worry over this shirt in response to relationship between “redshirts” and death, or something more sinister? If it’s just the former, then, well, it’s not like that body actually is me. It can be destroyed and then the only thing I need to do is get a different one.

[sprinkled chariot]

AMPLIFY this  sound wave through the wall mounted communications device to broadcast it across bazaar and our space ship, JANITOR WILL NOT ESCAPE THE MUSIC OF MANKIND DOMINANCE   

[ziizo]

Use my cyborg parts to hack into the robots and make them believe that this two person (Giant dad and Joshua) are foxes and start a hunt.

[King Zultan]

Grab the death ray that I dropped, then beam my self back to the ship and get my spare DNA that I have just in case I lose my DNA, then put the DNA inside me.

[Glass]

AMPLIFY this  sound wave through the wall mounted communications device to broadcast it across bazaar and our space ship, JANITOR WILL NOT ESCAPE THE MUSIC OF MANKIND DOMINANCE   

Don’t allow this. Like, just shut off the comms systems while he’s attempting it.

[Gwolfski]

See if there are any grants I can make use of to regain my money. Also,locate the captain and inform them that the ship is destined to be the queens new flagship

[CABL]

Slice T'zzz in half by slicing him with a vertical upward strike.

[Imic]

Well, there goes my plan.
Run to whatever place in here has lots of spare metal and machines, and construct a mass-cloning machine, which can use the Ship’s pre-existing data-banks for DNA. Then, construct a teleporter, rigged to teleport anything that comes put of thw mass-cloning machine to a random place of the ship. Activate blth, set the Cloning machine to Cow, and press go.

[Fluffe9911]

Silence: Gives a thumbs up
Silence: Starts a epic training montage with Douge to help him defeat Thainos!

[Smoke Mirrors]

Apprehend the janitor.

[Enemy post]

Turn 15

Call the other three children I have to come to pick us up. Big stone one, stealthy one, girl one and other girl one that's blue but isn't my favorite daughter.

6

You open a comm channel to your other children and call for a pickup. Sanctuary II enters the system and beings floating toward you. Your blue daughter calls you and informs you that the Bazaar is hailing the ship and demanding that it leave or be fired upon. Apparently, their records indicate that the owner of this vessel is wanted on numerous counts of genocide and war crimes.

Use that milk I bought last turn, and complete the summoning of the Seven (the remaining ones which are currently devouring hell, Five is already here).

3

Gnaw the universe

5+1

You use a bit of your chupacabra milk to summon the next of the Seven. Four of Seven emerges from a portal. He and Five chew on reality more quickly, opening white cracks in the sky.

AMPLIFY this  sound wave through the wall mounted communications device to broadcast it across bazaar and our space ship, JANITOR WILL NOT ESCAPE THE MUSIC OF MANKIND DOMINANCE   

3

Don’t allow this. Like, just shut off the comms systems while he’s attempting it.

2 vs 4

Boris cracks open the case around the weapon. Inside is an extremely primitive tape recording. Boris shoves it into a backwards compatibility port on a terminal and prepares his attack. Delta notices the theft of the device and the impeding mass murder, decides to stop him. The two engage in a hacking duel. Boris wins, and plays the tape. A woman's voice croons the word "....youuu!!!!" before the tape cuts off. With an irritating squeal and whirring noise, the tape rewinds. Apparently, whoever last deployed the weapon neglected to be kind and rewind.

(Init:T'zzz, GiantDad, Joshua, Delta.)

Use my cyborg parts to hack into the robots and make them believe that this two person (Giant dad and Joshua) are foxes and start a hunt.

3

Slice T'zzz in half by slicing him with a vertical upward strike.

1+1 vs 6

Apprehend the janitor.

6 vs 2

Send the securitybots to the origin of the thud.

As a side note, is the worry over this shirt in response to relationship between “redshirts” and death, or something more sinister? If it’s just the former, then, well, it’s not like that body actually is me. It can be destroyed and then the only thing I need to do is get a different one.

(I took the first option as implying you still wanted to arrest T'zzz. Also, it's the former.)
6, 3-1 vs 1

As everyone recovers from the mass accidental headbutt, T'zzz uses a mechanical tendril to re-hack the resurrected and dapper Roombas alongside their new foxhunting acquaintances. He uploads a virus that convinces them that Joshua and GiantDad are foxes in need of hunting. The robots jump into right into action and begin the hunt by lighting up cigars and telling each other about the wondrous hunt they are about to partake in. Joshua and GiantDad have mere hours to prepare for the attack.

On a more immediate timescale, GiantDad charges T'zzz. T'zzz wraps around the sword blow and swings GiantDad aisde. T'zzz watches with satisfaction as GiantDad stumbles. This instant of distraction gives Joshua an opportunity to jump T'zzz and grapple him. T'zzz tries to toss Joshua off, but then the securitybots march in. They struggle to coordinate with Joshua, but in the end they subdue T'zzz and detain him. The robots capture T'zzz and administer a mild sedative since he is naturally immune to handcuffs or other more conventional methods of restraint. The robots await the officer's decision.

Grab the death ray that I dropped, then beam my self back to the ship and get my spare DNA that I have just in case I lose my DNA, then put the DNA inside me.

(I just want to say, having a complete set of spare DNA is just a hilariously brilliant solution to me. I wish I could give you an auto-5 for it, but that wouldn't feel right.)
3

Your death ray is missing, but you beam back to the ship and shove all your spare DNA back into your body before the fatal effects of DNA deficiency can set in.

See if there are any grants I can make use of to regain my money. Also,locate the captain and inform them that the ship is destined to be the queens new flagship

6

You check the books and find a deal from a certain "L. Cypher" offering wealth and power in exchange for a small favor sometime in the future. You also call up Cap'n Crunch, but you find that he has been mysteriously absent since the Moloko docked at the repair station.

Well, there goes my plan.
Run to whatever place in here has lots of spare metal and machines, and construct a mass-cloning machine, which can use the Ship’s pre-existing data-banks for DNA. Then, construct a teleporter, rigged to teleport anything that comes put of thw mass-cloning machine to a random place of the ship. Activate blth, set the Cloning machine to Cow, and press go.

6

You build a mass-cloning machine and randomized teleporter out of a box of scraps and set the dial. The dial spins rapidly, ultimately finishing with a mechanical "The Cow says" followed by a grunting noise. The room you are in fills up with wildebeest cows that almost immediately begin stampeding out of the room.

Silence: Gives a thumbs up
Silence: Starts a epic training montage with Douge to help him defeat Thainos!

1

Spoiler: Part 1 (click to show/hide)

Training Montage Link

Spoiler: Part 2 (click to show/hide)

The Moloko has completed its repairs, aside from a herd of wildebeest stampeding through the lower decks.