Turn 10 Try to decrease ship mass and delay our fall by dumping all unneeded prototype thermonuclear bombs at bazaar
1 Try to decrease ship mass and delay our fall by dumping all unneeded prototype thermonuclear bombs at bazaar
Prevent this.
3Boris attempts to lighten the ship by bombarding on the unsuspecting Bazaar with nukes. Delta objects to this scheme, predicting that the bazaar's defenses would swiftly destroy the crippled Moloko in retaliation. Boris goes for the release controls anyway, dodging automated turrets and securitybots. Boris eventually reaches the controls and whoops in triumph. Moments later, a securitybot jumps him and smashes Boris's face into the monitor. This destroys the monitor, preventing anyone from launching the nukes for the time being.
Damnit.
Alright, anyone trying to repair the ship: don't. That can wait until we're at a dedicated repair stop. Right now, we just need to make sure that we don't crash.
Try making minor changes to the Moloko's trajectory that will make any predicted landing softer, and, if possible, direct us toward a port. Also, shut down the engiebots.
5, 5'Zounds! We might not avoid this one.
Deploy emergency impact head-gear. As regulations specify, the helmets are blue and look rather like bicorn hats.
4Ok, time to stop the world from ending, again.
Take control of the wheel and begin turning us so we pass the Bazaar.
4Keep steering the spaceship with my sheer might.
2The Moloko makes its final descent toward the Bazaar. GiantDad keeps trying to wrench the ship up and away, but his strength is already spent. Cap'n Crunch deploys the bicorn crash helmets throughout the ship in anticipation of the impact. These helmets both save lives and represent the pinnacle of fashion on the high seas. At this point, Delta and Joshua step up. Joshua grabs the remains of the steering wheel and fights to regain control. Delta rapidly patches the damaged repair drones, using them to activate numerous microthrusters along the hull. Together, they drag the Moloko off course from the Bazaar and point it toward a floating repair station. The ship is caught by emergency tractor beams that rapidly reduce the ship's momentum and direct it into a massive drydock filled with an array of cranes and scaffolding designed to hold such a large vessel in place. It's a near thing, and several pieces of construction are crushed by the ship or pierce the hull in turn. The tortured metal shrieks in the artificial atmosphere of the drydock.
However, the landing is ultimately successful. The penalties to repair are removed here, and the ship is no longer in danger of crashing. The sleep gas is also vented through the hull breaches.
Use my position as the ship Roomba herder (or Janitor both positions are the same in the future) to call the roomba to me. Adquire milk potatoes too.
3You command the Roomba to return to you using your authority as the Roomba herder/janitor. Your direct order causes the robot to briefly reset its programming and drop the potatoes as it returns. You recapture the Roomba, but getting to the sack of potatoes proves a challenge in the crowd. Numerous humans and aliens block you from reaching it or unpredictably kick the potatoes around the street.
Silence: Squints at the new pet
Silence: Puts his glasses on
Silence: Shrugs
Silence: Writes down Douge on a nearby sticky note
Silence: Sticks it on Douge
Silence: Heads back to the ship
(Silence: Sheds a single tear for Vaccum Vermin)
4Runaway I brought the wrong gun, then go buy a new better gun that can kill.
5You dodge artfully away from the honey badger's claws and disappear into the crowd before popping out at a gun shop. A rather disheveled green-skinned woman with a ridged forehead sits at the counter and asks what you need. You negotiate a fair price and walk out with your very own refurbished death ray.
Valhalla is good enough. Find the bridge that connects it to Midgard and return to the mortal plane. If I don't find any bridge, go towards the tree and climb downwards.
4, 3You find the Bifrost and hurry back to the mortal realm along it. You burst into the void of space as a ghost. You seem to be roughly where you died, although by now the ship you were attacking is out of sight. Looking over your shoulder at the Bifrost, you see that a squad of valkyries spotted you leaving and are in pursuit.
Continue to search for a gas mask. If I find one, ask the Ship’s AI A: What the hell is going on and B: is there anything I can do to assist in it’s prevention. If informed, try to do whatever it asks. I am a Custodian, after all. If I can’t find a gas mask, ask question A, bypass question B, and wait out the gas.
Forget this.
Quietly ponder why this is happening to me, then find the Robotics lab. Begin construction of a Firefighter, with built-in oxygen tanks, rocket boosters, drill, and as much armour as can be fitted onto it. Also, acquire a toolbelt and welding helmet. Remove fake beard.
1-1You try to do all these things, but finally lose consciousness and pass out as you become dimly aware of an impact siren. In what feels like an instant, you wake up in your shelter. It seems to have been trashed by a collision impacting the ship. Furniture is scattered everywhere, and you yourself are lying against a back wall. You don't feel any more sleep gas in the air though, so that seems to have been resolved.
Ah, the incident. Now that was really something, wasn't it? I'm fairly certain it never happened. It's not like that wreck of a town even existed to begin with, you know? Also, it's funny how there were no witnesses, am I right?
Wipe all details regarding the incident from St. Peter's declarative memory. Consider erasing the rest of his mind while we're at it, just to be on the safe side.
1You launch your psychic attack on St. Peter. His fatherly smile slowly fades to a disappointed frown as you struggle to push past his defenses.
You blink and find yourself on a shattered subterranean beach. The room is nearly deserted of life. A stone gate lies smashed open nearby and a crushed wooden dock is on the shore. Numerous dead demons of various kinds lie about, and the walls have gashes in them revealing an empty void on the other side. The only movement comes from a giant goatman, who ignores you as he chews on the cavern wall. More void-portal is exposed whenever he gnaws through rock.
"I'm afraid sir my efforts have been hampered by a shortage of milk and a bovine incursion from the netherrealms. But by Jove will that not stop me, I must just mention it to the captain that he doesn't crash this craft into that bazaar"
Send the Captain a very encouraging message asking them to not crash the ship, and attempt to locate the nearest home supply depot
4, 3You strongly encourage the captain not to crash the ship. There's still an impact that spills a drop of your tea even through the kinetic barriers of your office, but at least you survived the incident.
Exiting the ship, you are unable to find a real Home Depot. However, you do discover that the Moloko has crash-landed in a ship repair facility. Perhaps upgrades could be commissioned for an extra charge.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3 (Read 136883 times)