Turn 7((I too love those mime segments. They crack me up each time.))
Send out a compelling psychic wave across the ship, implanting the belief that crew members bleed milk.
5((I love that an eldritch goat thingy has already acquired milk; on the turn 6, nonetheless!))
"Git gud, casul!"
Execute the space cow leader by bisecting it with a vertical strike.
Go get a glass of milk from a food replicator.
2+1 vs 1, 2In the chaos of the bridge explosions and Bumpbo's arrival, GiantDad attempts to finish off M0o. The Zweihander sinks upward into the cow's ribcage, but isn't quite enough to finish him off yet. Coughing up blood, M0o blasts a psionic wave that convinces crew members that their comrades are full of milk. Although the more strong-willed or eccentric crew members are able to ignore the blast, most of the anonymous and/or red shirted crewmembers go mad from the blast and begin attacking each other.
All these events also prevent GiantDad from leaving to go get milk.
Silence: Silently screams!
Silence: Attempts to put the fire out!
6Stop being unconscious then go beat the DNA out of something other than the space cow.
4You cease to be unconscious and go looking for something else to get DNA from. You're soon confronted by an insane crewman who attempts to rip you open for the milk inside. A few whacks from a hammer are enough for you to subdue him and knock all his DNA out of his blood.
(Init:Joshua, Delta, Nuhg, Boris)At long at last! Use the milk and perform the ritual.
6We have arrived at our destination. Please don’t break anything in the Bazaar; I hear they have very good lawyers and I’d rather not get repossessed.
Have the combat drones continue to help us remove the space cow menace, and redirect some to apprehend the Eldritch goat that I’m pretty sure my rolls indicated me knowing about now.
Also send maintbots around to fix any broken hardware and software.
(Sorry I forgot to mention the bit where you found him.)
Drones vs space cows)6 vs 3-1(Drones vs Nuhg)5 vs 6-24(World saving senses tingling)
”Well, I think I have something to do.”
Change into my old military Arcangel armor (think a mix of XCOM’s Arcangle armor and a masculine version of Mercy’s armor, from overwatch, but designed for space travel) grab twin plasma rifles, and go kill, and/or stop, an eldritch goat.
(Joshua vs Nuhg)6,1+1 vs 1-1Set up teleporter coordinates to match goat coordinates and then push activated nuclear space torpedo prototype into it
Comrade eldritch goat, you messed with WRONG BRANCH OF SCIENCE
(Boris vs Nuhg)1 vs 6-3Having acquired the necessary milk and arcane knowledge, Nuhg prepares to unleash his caprine masters from beyond the seal. At this moment, first mate Joshua Dantès swoops in in a set of power armor and mows him down with a pair of plasma rifles, firing so many shots that the guns are burned out by the impact. Delta's drones also add some holes, and finally Boris hits him with a tactical nuke.
When Nuhg regains awareness, he finds himself on a gloomy cavern shore. Ghosts flit through the air and a white haired ferryman waits on a boat. A nearby gate bears an inscription that reads "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."
Delta then focuses on repelling the external threats, finally breaking the space cow lines and forcing them to retreat. His repair drones also fix the damage caused by the space battle, although more internal damage is rapidly being caused by the crazed victims of M0o's psychic attack. Also, one replicator was apparently thrown into space. The confused drones flag the incident for review.
Boris's communicator dings, informing him that his genetically modified potatoes are ready.
(I love the mime segments too)
Activate the emergency incinerator in giantdad and joshua rooms destroying them.
4As the janitor, it's a simple matter for you to reverse the polarity on the safety deconflagrant generators in Joshua and GiantDad's quarters. You watch over a camera feed with satisfaction as their rooms and possessions burn.
...take the milk sample all the way out and put it back in again?
1When you try to retrieve the platonic milk, you find that it's no longer in your console. While you weren't looking, it sorted itself over to another engineer. They seem happy.
Return to my office to call the president back. On the way, I shall wield my trusty antique Colt 1911 sidearm to protect myself from any pilfering barbarian uncultured cosmic bovines
"oh jolly good, the president has seen got to call upon me! I must return the call at once!"
2,6You try to get back to your office, but no sooner do you draw your trusted 308 year old weapon than some hooligan accosts you for it. He rudely screams that he needs it to liberate the precious milk from your skin.
(It was quite good. I'm satisfied that the burger buns helped enrage the space cows.)
Transmit distress signal to local Space Animal Rescue Shelter, inform them of the herd of dangerous Space Cows that need capturing, and probably milking too.
4As the space cows retreat, you call up the rescue shelter and watch with satisfaction as they gather up the surviving cows in their shuttlecraft.
Remake the lasso and lasso one of the routed Space Cows.
2You almost manage to capture a space cow, but a bunch of animal rescue astronauts from the Bazaar's surface show up at the last second and take them away before you can get one.