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[Mobbstar]

The game should automatically attempt to parse all text as MarkDown formatting.

[Starver]

All controls are inverted.  There is a tickable/untickable "Invert Controls" option, which helpfully inverts the entire display to compensate.

[Criperum]

The player has to literally build UI elements on the map to be able to use them. And every button needs a dwarf assigned to it. Because you don't press it - you create a task to press it. All info player gets from a manager through an elaborate dialogue sequence.

[PlumpHelmetMan]

Wait...how do you assign a dwarf to a UI element in the first place if there's no UI at the start of the game?

[Starver]

It's the primordial anvil all over again...

(But probably a Strange Mood from someone with GUIwrighting skills.)

[King Zultan]

Some assembly required.

Instead of downloading the game you should have to build it yourself, and the first step is obtaining the book which contains a written version of the code which you have to copy onto your computer, then only after copying down all of the thousands of lines of code with out any typos can you compile the code and finally enjoy the game.

[Egan_BW]

in order to make processing easier, the game is actually a physical simulation which you have to build yourself, and breed little dwarves and tiny miniature versions of all the game's creatures on your desk.

[Eric Blank]

You need to breed miniature versions of vermin in a petri dish under a microscope. Watch out for tardigrades!

[Magmacube_tr]

Talking of miniature vermin, why are there not miniature versions of all creatures? There are giant ones, they would make as much sense.

[Eric Blank]

It would go nicely with the mini dwarves, wouldn't it?

Sadly vermin are pretty limited in their behaviors.

Ooh, I know! Make all vermin in the game non-vermin creatures! Now your dwarves can get terrified by snails!

[Criperum]

Dwarf Fortress Gold Edition. Along with the game its shipped with 7 dehydrated miniature dwarfes you can add water to and use to create your irl mini fortress.

[Egan_BW]

Set them on your dresser and let them mine out tiny cubes of wood.

[PlumpHelmetMan]

You're encouraged to set your pets loose on the dresser every once in a while to simulate megabeast attacks.

[Magmacube_tr]

We are not responsible for any deaths of pets or mini-dwarves during these attacks.

[delphonso]

Oh god! Fluffy! They're putting your corpse in the tavern!!