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[Criperum]

I'd like Toady to read this topic and actually implement some of the worst suggestions just to mess with players.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Toady One should implement a special event (either in worldgen or possibly afterwords -in which case your fort/adventurer could possibly compete-)  in which athletes from around the world would gather at a single place and run to grab a single thread (of material that would be chosen procedurally) from somewhere far away and bring it back to the place where they started.  This event would, of course, be known as the Great Thread Race.

[Bumber]

Toady could also implement multithreading, where each athlete gets their own thread. Race conditions are also added.

[Starver]

Four philosophers join each fortress as combine noble-position holders. They demand exactly four forks to be created, four plates and one huge vessel of spaghetti that gets placed on their communal table. They then each try to eat.

[muldrake]

Dwarves themselves get to make terrible suggestions, which are then immediately implemented into the game.

[nezclaw]

Change the game entirely to serve its newer, better challenge mode: Build rockets from stock parts.
Refocus off dwarves, not noted for their love of open space, never mind the outer kind, and onto a more pliant core civilisation.
Obviously you'd need to rename it "Kobold Space Program".

late, but i know i've made this suggestion before
Dwarves manufacture the parts, and since they know absolutely nothing about rocketry the parts can and will explode randomly.

The above, except, instead of "manga", "magma".

i made a post on tumblr to the effect of "maybe i should just fill my library with magma" and didnt tag it DF and someone asked if i meant manga

A mystical and mythical character that appears in folks art like songs and stories etc. but has no reference in legends but still being completely real. sometimes it pops up in random places and makes your dwarves shit their pants. Nothing can stop it. Unless you get rid of all mentions. The more mentions the more powerful it becomes.

Awesome idea. Really. It could work in some worlds where ideas create reality. So people would invent their spirits and gods and they would really start to exist. People create worlds by writing. Anyone remember the Myst and Riven games?

Dwarves can now go into moods and craft Descriptive Books, which allow them to travel to other worlds and found forts there. They have yet to figure out how to craft Linking Books, so once they use the Descriptive Book they're gone.

wait no they can make linking books but there's only a 3% chance they'll make one during a mood instead of a Descriptive Book

I want music!
I want my mayor not able to fall asleep without some lulling lute playing in the background. I want dwarfs in neighbouring quarters not able to sleep because of the racket. I want instrument playing professions, talents. I want travelling orchestras and choirs. I want poets and poems written down in books. I want battle songs increasing morale of dwarves charging the enemy. But most of all I want tavern full of dwarves impulsively break into drinking songs.

this is the terrible suggestions thread

[King Zultan]

In order to confuse people we should post all good ideas in this thread and all the terrible ones DF Suggestions.

[delphonso]

In order to confuse people we should post all good ideas in this thread and all the terrible ones DF Suggestions.

I see you have already started this. +1

[Urist McUristUrist]

Hedgehog men are hostile towards all histfigs who are legendary in at least one skill related to engineering and wear red clothes.

[Egan_BW]

Only the fake ones.

[BlueManedHawk]

Guns

[King Zultan]

If your fort isn't up to the standards of some dwarves they can leave while yelling that they're going out to build their own fort with black jack and hookers.

[delphonso]

Dwarves develop martial arts and request dojos similar to guild halls. Dwarves will challenge martial arts guilds of different types in the fort. Occasionally, goblin martial arts guilds will arrive and challenge your guilds.

If your fort isn't up to the standards of some dwarves they can leave while yelling that they're going out to build their own fort with black jack and hookers.

Bendwarf.

[Azerty]

Hedgehog men are hostile towards all histfigs who are legendary in at least one skill related to engineering and wear red clothes.

And sometimes, these hedgehog men will wear blue and be helped by orange two-tail foxmen.

[betaking]

Four philosophers join each fortress as combine noble-position holders. They demand exactly four forks to be created, four plates and one huge vessel of spaghetti that gets placed on their communal table. They then each try to eat.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The dwarf tetrarch Bombark 'Boss' Filligott twists the =+fork+=, pulling on the ☼Spaghetti☼
The dwarf tetrarch Urdim 'Boss' Uromkhosk twists the +*fork*+, pulling on the ☼Spaghetti☼
The ☼Spaghetti☼ has ripped in half
Bombast 'McPasta' Marthom, Cook cancels make fine meal: Grieving.
Harlok 'useless hauler' Urmanoc, Beekeeper cancels Gather Hive Products, Equipment lost or destroyed.
Termbad 'useless 2' Kembolt, Beekeeper cancels Gather Hive Products, Equipment lost or destroyed.
The Dwarf Tetrarch Bombark 'Boss' Filligott is fighting.
The Dwarf Tetrarch Urdim 'Boss' Uromkhosk is fighting.
The war dog Umbast Lokarn is fighting.
The war dog Bombask Grinfeld is fighting.
Azer Hardthan cancels pickup equipment: horrified.
Umbast Lokarn has been found dead
Umbok 'Hauler' Tulgarst, Peasant cancels pickup equipment: horrified.
The stray baby alpaca has grown to become stray Alpaca♂.
Idim Urlimfast, Woodcutter cancels pickup equipment: dangerous terrain.
Duvok Singald, Planter cancels reload cage trap: interrupted by kea.
Durmbast Makazer, Hunter cancels hunt: out of ammo.
The Stray Alpaca has been slaughtered.
Harlok 'useless hauler' Urmanoc, Beekeeper  cancels Gather Hive Products, Equipment lost or destroyed.
Termbad 'useless 2' Kembolt, Beekeeper  cancels Gather Hive Products, Equipment lost or destroyed.
Urdim Singfast, Hunter cancels return kill: interrupted by kea.
The Stray Gosling♂ has Hatched
The Stray Gosling♀ has Hatched
The Stray Gosling♂ has Hatched
The Stray Poult ♀ has Hatched
The Stray Poult♂ has Hatched
The gosling Marbek Singthom has grown to become a gander♂
Urnluc Urbast, Weaver cancels collect web: interrupted by forgotten beast
Bombast 'McPasta' Marlesthom, cook is fighting.
Marbek Alckurfost, Brewer cancels Brew Drinks from plants: interrupted by combat.
Marbek Alckurfrost, Brewer is fighting
Gollamasku The Dark Terror of Swans is fighting.
Urnluc Urbast, Weaver is fighting.
The Dwarf Bonecarver Marbeck Termbad cancels decorate with horn/Ivory: needs horn/ivory.
The Stray Gosling has Hatched♂
The Stray Gosling♀ has Hatched
The Stray Gosling♂ has Hatched
The Stray Gosling♂ has Hatched
The Stray Gosling♀ has Hatched
Urnluc Urbast has been found dead.
Bombast 'McPasta' Marthom is fighting.
Harlok 'useless hauler' Urmanoc cancels drink: interrupted by combat.
Harlok 'useless hauler' Urmanoc is fighting
Umbok 'Hauler' Tulgarst, Peasant cancels pickup equipment: Interrupted by forgottten beast.
Bombark 'Boss' Filligott has been found dead
Idim Urlimfast cancels drink: Horrified