Play Nintendo Games to learn the life lessons embedded in them!
[1] You decide that the only thing that can prepare you for the test is a game of Mario Party. One game later, you come to the conclusion that your choices don't matter, and that everything - like Mario Party - is based entirely on luck and stupid mini-games. For all you know, you life is dictated by some cosmic die roll.
GOOGLE "WTF IS SCHOLASTIC ASSESSMENT TEST"
GO GET BEER FROM FRIDGE THEN SIT BACK DOWN TO READ RESULTS
[2] You punch your question into the search machine and press enter. Then, you go to the fridge for a nice cold beer...
...but what's this? You're out of beer? Typical, the neighbors must have stolen it again. At least you can go back to your computer to see what this SAT thing is, anyway...
...but what's this? The internet's down? Typical, the neighbors must be stealing your bandwidth again. Boy, you're going to have a talk with them.
Play a forum game about taking the SAT instead.
[4] Good idea. You hop onto the computer and find a cool game about doing an SAT, and play it for a while. Unbeknownst to you, the meta-ness of your action creates undetectable cracks in the fabric of the universe.
Play a forum game about taking the SAT instead.
And in that forum game, play a forum game about taking the SAT instead.
[5] Subconsciously, you realize that one of your neighbors is being really meta, and decide to out-meta him by going one level deeper. It works, and if he bothered to check for updates, he'd see what you were doing and be really impressed. On a totally unrelated note, the cracks in the fabric of reality start to grow.
consume books to absorb their knowledge.
[4] That should work. It's the oldest trick in the book (which you ate, of course). Grabbing the thickest Thesauruses off of your bookshelf - and throwing in a couple of old algebra textbooks you have lying around - you make a meal fit for a king. It's a little chewy, but with proper seasoning, it goes down well. This sure was easier than studying, and you feel a whole lot smarter, too.
Wait, I'm going about this wrong. Research the ACT and see if I can take that instead.
[6] Great idea! You go onto your computer and look up when the ACT test date is, and... well, it's tomorrow! You sign up immediately, and then go to collegeboard.com to opt out of the SAT. Suddenly, you realize a fatal flaw in your plan - you can't get out of taking the SAT - your school payed for it, so it's mandatory! What's more, the ACT starts only 5 minutes after the SAT ends - what are you going to do?!
Attempt to unlock mind-reading abilities by ingesting the mystical Holy Grail of mixed energy-drinks.
[2] What a great idea. Since you don't have energy drinks in your fridge, you decide to grab some from the neighbor. Under the cover of darkness, you sneak in, take them out of their fridge, and bring them back home. Then, you dump them into that Big Gulp you keep by your computer and pull out the crazy straw you saved just for this occasion. Everything seems perfect, but when you take a sip, you realize that you took your neighbor's beer, instead! This won't give you any magical powers, it'll just get you drunk!
mutter curses upon the person who thought essays should be a requirement while studying math.
[1] You mutter under your breath, "I curse whoever says that essays should be a requirement while studying math." Then, you feel yourself getting cursed for just saying that essays should be a requirement while studying math. You're not sure what the curse will do, but you think it's effects will pop up at the most inopportune times and ruin your day. It's one of those curses.
Hack the computers of whomever I can to get the questions
[1] You know how to hack: you've taken a couple classes of java and it's pretty much the same thing. You pull up the command prompt and hammer away, but nothing seems to work. Frustrated, you start typing in gibberish, and before you know it, you end up crashing your computer. Wow, that sucked. You hope this didn't affect the router or anything - it would be a shame if one of your neighbors lost connection to the internet.