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[Darkening Kaos]

    Herr Kaos activates his special 'nightvision goggles'

     -----

     it has a strange name - 'Incendiary' - also seems to perform well as a smoke grenade, with some ramp up time required.

[Hanzoku]

You could have run into chupacabras. At night, its very possible for them to run up to your agents and chew them to pieces.

[SQman]

I've finished my professional exams for this semester, so I don't have to feel guilty about playing X-Com instead of studying! How great is that!

The Mauser is beautiful and my baby. High-End agents need a sidearm too!

For an agent with 100 accuracy Mauser deals average 35 damage with 85% accuracy at aimed shot.
For the same agent a BlackOps magnum deals average 38 damage with 100% accuracy at aimed shot, not to mention the power will be the same for all other agents.
Mauser does have much longer range somehow, I'll give you that.

Wow, this mod is hardcore. My first mission out, two guys at night. Played out like a horror movie - the two dudes climb out of the car, start shooting at unidentified threats (so dark I couldn't see, and I forgot flares/flashlights). They kill two hostile targets. Hit the end turn button, both get ripped to shreds by melee attacks. I didn't even see what killed them.

Kudos to you, SQMan, for making as much progress as you have.

My strategy is to avoid night missions as much as I can. Monster missions last very long, so you can just wait for day. The mod really is tougher than your standard fare, that's true.

Spoiler: File 17: Zamboni Population Control (click to show/hide)

Our main diner deserves an expansion. In 24 days we'll have large living quarters and a large storage facility. We need more engineers so we can make stun darts with reasonable speed. We could use some bio-exosuits too, and with the current team it would take weeks to make just one.



While Guy Fieri team is working their asses on the construction site, Ainsley Harriott guys were sent to take out an EGGSALT outpost. I keep forgetting we need the high ranking guys, but we wouldn't be able to get those two anyway.



Minigun took care of them, so we haven't got blasted with grenades this time. Let's wait before moving out.



This place is crawling with cyber-psycho-crack dealers. There's one more boss too, and we might just be able to get him.



Now there's not so many. Most higher-ranking EGGSALT operatives are dead, but the one boss will probably keep their morale high for some time. Admirable, if I had ten out of fifteen agents killed in a single turn, I'd piss my pants myself.



Forget I said anything. They all went bonkers as they should have.



Mr. Yanush finally did it! He got us an EGGSALT officer so we can stop doing those safehouse missions. I'm slowly starting to warm up to the dart rifle. Maybe once we get the manufacturing going at full speed, we can get some dart pistols too.



They were stockpiling guns in this base. We found a bunch of tommy guns that we sold most of. Watch it turn out that they're better than our stuff.



A new species of monster in the Rockies. The shambler is a four-tile enemy with enough beefiness to cause serious grief very early on. We're no longer very early on, so there's no danger at all. We killed two and took them home.



A live but badly damaged zamboni parasite. We could in theory turn an agent into a zamboni, but that would be immoral, and we don't do immoral things here.



Giant bugs that conveniently eat people. I wish bug spray was a thing here, but chemoguns or whatever will have to do for chem damage. Beetles aren't worth wasting valuable chemicals though.



Woah, that's a lot of words! Unfortunately not a single one I care about. It's a little disconcerning that Osirion had those top secret file in their possession, and that they could have sold it to weeb ninjas or fish amish.



A bit eggy, a bit salty, EGGSALT gives us one of the last safehouse missions. We've killed most of their operatives in a single turn. This was a nice training mission for the chumps, but there was very little reward besides that.



A homicidal soldier told us he knew this guy. It's not like a witness testimony about a landing in the 60s would do us any good, but maybe if we found him, we could offer him protection or something. Not that I care. We've got a madman processed anyway, so there's that.



Scavenger Chupacabra autopsy report is done. Apparently they are good at killing stuff and is supposed to be quite tough. It's not tough, but boy, is it good at murdering agents.



Looks like the Harriott HQ is now the main base. There's not many good agents left in Guy Fieri HQ, mostly rookies. Let's try to fix it by giving them some real combat experience. But before we do that...



The upgraded version of AK47. It's actually a straight upgrade over the classic bad guy rifle. It has fast auto fire and very accurate aimed shot, but it lacks L85's snap and auto accuracy. I'm not comparing it to BlackOps guns, because these are a whole tier higher.



Giant gay frogs can apparently survive out of water because they drink Monster. Wait, they don't live in water? They managed to escape the chemicals government puts in the water! Life, uh, found a way after all!



A ton of buckshot, miniguns, incendiary grenades, the dinernauts are ready to clear out a zamboni infestation in Siberia. There are fatties, boomers and infectors, nothing new.



CAWS is fantastic at dealing with the living deadspacito. Great stat increase all over the board except for Target who did nothing all mission and is also a robot. Those new guys will be good agents soon if they don't die bullshit death.



More training! A huge radscorpion infestation. In the end it was an easy, by the numbers mission.



We should really switch some veterans for rookies if we're doing chumpy missions, and possibly get Target out of there.
We've killed 32 scorpions, each worth 10 points, cashing in a nice 320 points and quite a lot of money from corpses. We've wasted a lot of buckshot though.



The monster mission in Canada turned out to be a ginormous zamboni infestation. Canada is Harriott HQ's turf, but I already packed rookies to The Fieri One, so it's another good training mission.



Just look at how many dead zambonis there are. Also, Ms. Deadwatch is a Mr. Deadwatch. Doesn't change the fact he's an edgy teenager.



There were 34 zambonis and we killed them all. Sold the corpses for over 200k, and just look at those mad stat gains. 6s and 7s all across the board.



Team Magma, after almost destroying the world by awakening Groudon, gave up on the whole Pokemon eco-terrorism business and went into heavy weapon manufacturing. They can allow us to buy some of their light cannons if we throw some scientists at them. Sure, why not?



Osirion was basically selling a cow appendix in a fancy alien alloy container. Since we don't even know what alien alloy is, there's a possibility this artifact has nothing to do with aliens at all.



Team Magma catalogue contained this, among a few other things. It's an unreasonably gigantic double barreled shotgun that instantly turns anything into a smooth paste. Its main drawback is that after four tiles accuracy drops like there's no tomorrow. It's not really my style, but it could work on tougher zamboni missions.



The heavy cannon is extremely heavy, but it's more accurate and much more powerful than the light cannon. We won't be able to buy this for a while.



Even heavier and weaker than the heavy cannon, the auto-cannon is the ultimate ballistic weapon in vanilla X-Com. Here? It's still a great weapon, surprisingly. New functions are always good to have, and auto fire is the only thing that was missing from the heavy cannon.



The tactical grenade launcher is another heavy weapon, this time made exclusively for blowing stuff up. It doesn't have any special grenades, just hi-ex, but it's still a good alternative to the regular grenade launcher.



Another monster mission, another bunch of zambonis. Are we dealing with an actual zamboni apocalypse here? We could have rolled out with light cannons, but we don't have room in storage for ammo.
Some more good experience for the rookies.



An amish told us about an actual wizard, Draco Malfoy. August 1998 is just after the Deathly Hallows, so it's not too unlikely that he fled to Mexico after all of that. That confirms that Harry Potter is canon in X-Com Expanded Universe.



Those amish guys are very talkative. This old-timey sea captain is your ordinary run-of-the-mill cult leader, except not a leader. Nothing interesting.



Finally a real mission. An industrial investigation somewhere in southeast Asia with Mr. Mastication, Mr. Wowser, Mr. Inglenook and Mr. Excitement. We have a UAC stapler this time.



This time it's Red Dawn, squatting in the industrial district, stealing unattended tools and smoking cheap cigarettes like any self-respecting slav would do. Too bad we need to stop them.



Got them both. The pipe really is a great weapon, believe it or not.



No idea what Mr. Excitement just found, but it looks way too high-tech to be unrelated to the case.



This pioneer was guarding this place with a flame thrower for some reason. Mr. Inglenook whacked him on the forehead with a pipe, but got punched hard too. Nothing major, just a few days in the infirmary.



Ow, Mr. Excitement got stapled badly. He got his revenge by stunning the ganger with a flashlight. Unfortunately we had to bring him back mortally wounded, which means he'll be out of commission for a month or so.



Ooh, Osirion means loot! Too bad the cops had to get involved, but without them we would have probably never discovered this warehouse.
The Big Meat is in Phoenix, Arizona, filled with agents eager to steal some treasure.



The cops took refuge in nearby houses, and we too won't rush in too much. We haven't seen a single enemy yet, but there have been gunshots fired at us from around the warehouse.



Badass bald dudes with machine guns are more than a match for cops with tiny pistols and stun batons, but not for armored agents with cutting-edge weaponry from a secretive illegal manufaturer.



There's a lot of cops, and some of their shots actually pierce Osirion kevlar. I'm not saying they could handle it themselves, but if they let me take charge, I could have make use of them, and keep them safe at the same time.



Maybe I should reconsider my stance on SMGs? Herr Kaos brought down two bad guys with just two bursts.



This scene looks kinda cool if you ask me. We're ready to go inside where all remaining criminals are. I didn't count the guy outside as remaining because he's bleeding and standing on an incendiary grenade from Herr Kaos.



Nice. If we had a medical drone, we could have recovered him for questioning, but Target is in the other base.



Warehouse assault semi-successful. We had trouble getting the boss, but then I remember Mr. Yanush had a big minigun, so he just mowed down all crates between himself and his target. Unfortunately there's a guard with an RPG in a tightly packed room.



He did shoot, but not well. The only person hurt was Mr. Boots who got shot with an Arasaka by a goon. We've killed all guys on the upper floor and...



Here we go. I'm not sure who killed that one policewoman, but that's acceptable casualties. Ready for loot listing?

-Earth weapons
-27 wads of cash
-4 psiclone
-Osirion capo (for interrogation)
-4 plasma pistols
-4 plasma casters
-4 alien laser rifles
-4 flame gloves
-2 Dagon's staves
-6 staves of heart grip
-4 alien data slates
-8 Cyberweb batteries
-6 alien communicators
-2 alien electronics

Looks like they were stashing mostly alien and arcane weaponry. Cyberweb batteries point us at another faction that may have connections to Osirion.



Monster energy drink becomes explosive when fermented, that's why you should keep your stockpile refrigerated. These poor boomers drank way too juch fermented Monster, which made their corpses hard to recover.



Red Dawn outpost in Siberia. A little risky for a rookie training mission, but we should be fine.



It might be just our technological superiority, but we're kicking serious ass here. Krokodil can't compete with BlackOps rifles.



Ouch, Mr. Fame got 'naded. At least that gave Target some work; that robot's been just loafing around in the plane the whole time while the agents were doing a shootout outside.



We got them all. Four pioneers surrendered, two gangers were scooped up from the ground. Stat gains for everyone including Target.

Most importantly, we've secured samples of Storm, a drug used and distributed by Red Dawn. New plotline incoming.



Immediately we were greeted by this. I have no idea what's going on in those missions, so this might get interesting.



Exobiological contamination in Mexico. A few flying magenta turds to kill, and over 200k as a prize. We managed to catch one of them alive, which I'm pretty thrilled about.



An EGGSALT goon told us about a guy who introduced egg and salt based diet to the founders of EGGSALT. Rapid muscle mass building and enough energy to survive in the Finnish tundra are obvious advantages of such diet, but the drawback is uncontrollable egg farts. That's why EGGSALT switched to cyber-psycho-crack as their performance enhancing drug of choice.



League apprehension in progress. Looks like a bunch of defenseless women minding their own business, but we do have to capture them just to be sure they're not up to something sinister.
This was actually quite boring. Basically your old farmer arresting made even easier. We got two secret files.
Ms. Attention got too swole for training after that.



This really was an excellent month.



Another day, another zamboni infestation. I've got enough of that, but we have to work extra hard to make up for all those losses we had in previous updates.
It was easy, as usual.



While interrogating an MIB, our chief engineer remembered he killed a sewer gator the other day. We spent a lot of time interrogating that man.
At least now we have free brainers to interrogate an EGGSALT enforcer.



Guys, look, another massive scorpion infestation. Can't we get a Sub-Zero infestation for a change? Or at least Reptile? Scratch that, I don't want any ninjas near my agents.



Finally something slightly more interesting than zambonis and vermin. EGGSALT outpost, but this time we don't have to bother arresting anyone. We can go full ham and just murderize everyone around.



The skull shaped explosions are so satisfying aven after all those years. Too bad it was a poorly thrown incendiary that didn't even touch anyone, let alone set anyone on fire.



And this makes me angry at myself that I haven't waited a turn before deploying 'nades.



Good thing we have alternatives. Alternatives that will make open casket funerals more likely.
A whopping 18 guys were killed, another 5 surrendered. We actually recovered minigun ammo from this outpost, which is nice.



Hey now, what do you mean alien races? We've seen sectoids, killed anthropods, but that's about it. Even if the alien embryo was a different species, we still haven't got a sectoid to study.How do we know of those three biochemistry variants? Something ain't right here.



God, how many more of those zamboni missions will we have to do? This one seems smaller, with only regular zambonis and fatties. I even outfitted Target for combat, so we do it.



Target reigns supreme!



Despite not being a person, my favorite little robot continues to grow as a person. Somehow shooting zambonis made him more accurate. Maybe we applied these sentient algorithms Kiryu-Kai created?



This is big, and I tell you why: Val Verde is obviously not a real country, but something made up for Commando, the movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Commando is a part of X-Com Expanded Universe. Die Hard too, since general Ramon Esperanza from Die Hard 2 was the dictator of Val Verde. The universe keeps expanding!
Oh, and Ms. Plume finished her training. She's the one agent with Ronald McDonald hair.



Two new rookies. The new me is a good marksman, but quite flabby. Other stats are decent.



Agent Windhurst would be a great rookie if he/she wasn't such a pusspuss. Amazing firing accuracy and good melee, acceptable TUs and stamina.



EGGSALT's very own MiBs. They aren't as well equipped as ours or, well, MiB MiBs, but they have swarms of lackeys, sometimes with grenade launchers.



Haven't seen this one yet. It's the biggest SMG yet, packing a stronger punch than the BlackOps one. It's planty shooty with 8 bullets in a single burst, but unfortunately the accuracy is worse than in RAK. It would be too good if such a strong gun was actually usable.



Now that's an unprofessionally written entry. Whoever wrote this deserves a raise. Yeah, we haven't had much trouble with those bums, maybe because when we were slaughtering them one by one, they were busy killing cops.



She's not too different than most professional philanthropists, except they usually stop at selling those they claim to help to slavery for money instead of gifting them to aliens for immortality. That and gigantic granny taddies. This is the second time we've heard about this Hybrid Network...



I was just preparing the dinernauts for an anime club raid, when I saw this. Mr. Silly is so powerful it's just silly. He's a captain, so he's still below Ms. Attention when it comes to rank.



We probably shouldn't have landed so close to the main entrance. A whole bunch of cultists are dead, including a witch.



TARGET! The ninjas went too far this time! You can kill my agent, you can kill my dogs, but never ever touch my drones!

[Mr. Muscle getting killed by a ninja]

Fuck those guys! Mr. Songs squashed this ninja with his minigun, but come on. He was coming from the front, three tiles away! There's no way he could have just snuck by!
Finally finished the mission. While we did get a lot of cash for selling their junk, we lost two great agents.

That's all for today, because Imgur machine broke.

[Rince Wind]

I think there is no current me in the rooster? Mr/Mrs Breeze would like to join your jolly operation.

[Haspen]

Did I die? Haven't seen myself mentioned in a while ;v

Please add another Hatkat in there.

[Solarius Scorch]

This is the best thing I've read this year yet.

[King Zultan]

I'd like to have my name among your agents.

[SQman]

Woah, I made so many typos in the last update, holy crap. I should really proofread these while not falling asleep.

Did I die? Haven't seen myself mentioned in a while ;v

Please add another Hatkat in there.

You were killed during a ski resort investigation. I think a ninja did it.

Spoiler: File 18: Rise and Shine, Mr. Vincent (click to show/hide)

We're dealing with another small infestation. No idea why the game keeps throwing zambonis at us like this. Ugh, we'll do it for Brazil.



Come the fuck on! Mr. Yew was not an important agent, but getting flanked by a zamboni? Ridiculous.



An EGGSALT infiltrator informed us that governments are being infiltrated by aliens in disguise. We already knew that. NEXT!



EGGSALT bases will now appear instead of safehouses. Like all bases they are hard to take down even with superior technology due to the overwhelming numbers of mid-tier lackeys. Hopefuly when we get the Osprey we'll be able to get their officer soon enough. And we can also unlock M16 now, for what that's worth.



Villa has arrived to the Guy Fieri HQ to replace fallen Target. She'll get the medical drone chassis immediately, because I don't really like scout drones that much.



What? I didn't know things like that were possible. David Vincent is the freelance investigator hiding from feds; we have a dossier on him.



Here's the hideout. Can't say it's unassuming, but the position is good for defending.



The agents and the fugitive are currently in the hideout's secret lab.



All would be great if we weren't surrounded by MiB in combat armor and with laser and gauss weapons.



At least we know elephant rifles are effective. I really want to finish this mission.



I may need to savescum. Those bastard just casually blew up the hideout, while our dynamite doesn't seem to work on them. Reload.



Okay, I savescummed one more time. The house was still blown up like it's no one's business, but we did the same to them, so it's okay. Everybody was gravely wounded at the end, and I didn't even bother healing anyone. We've got mass driver guns, laser rifles, plasma grenades, ultra secret files, MiB enforcer and scientist corpses, somehow two David Vincents. Now idea how he survived, if at all. Mr Harmonica was killed on his first mission.



The game is about to change once again. I immediately ordered building that in the Guy Fieri HQ.



Ultra secret files revealed that MiBs use the same naming scheme as we do, they just never bothered changing Agent Trauma's name to Ms. Trauma. I don't want to have to arrest her after what I've experience dealing with enforcers.



Good ol' Chicago Typewriter. A heavy SMG with pretty good stats. Unlike MAC-10 it doesn't sacrifice accuracy for extra power and shootiness, but is unfortunately very much obsolete at this point.



He better not get himself killed after the mess that was the last mission. I wonder if it was at least worth the trouble...



Maybe? This is probably just a flavor thing, but it's pretty neat.



Wow, this Vincent guy knew a lot. I don't believe it's a good thing that UFOs mutate, presumably uncontrollably. Imagine an alien pilot thinking he's getting into a familiar fighter and the consoles are all different, and the engine is directly under his seat.



We've identified zrbite that we stole from Osirion. It's underwater elerium. We can actually disassemble the tank and recover zrbite if we want.



The game evidently wants to get on our good side by pelting us with finished research projects. This woman hangs out with ninjas, and just like them she loves to make people's lives miserable. Unlike ninjas she has fabulous secret powers.



One last EGGSALT safehouse raid befor the council salvagers get their shit together. It was a relaxing mission and no one got killed. Except for EGGSALT operatives.



Abominations are also vulnerable to gunfire. They turn people they kill into more abomination, which is probably covered in live abomination observation entry. Let's research zrbite we recovered from the tank.



Oh, I'm sure glad we'll never have to deal with someone trying to control, and even arm zambonis! THAT SURE WOULD SUCK! ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS SOMEONE WORKING WITH US!



Monaters! Just a bunch of rats running around. You'd think that in this day and age people would know how to deal with overgrown rodents: shoot them, chase them away, learn to live with them like New Yorkers do, anything but call secret global paramilitary organization.



Speaking of overgrown vermin, the eggheads finished chopping up the spider queen. Why do spiders in video games always have queens anyway? Are ants, termites and bees not scary enough to fill this niche? Bees can be terrifying, and I say it having seen Bee Movie.



Secret files time! Another freelance investigator, which makes me rather worried. I don't want to have another tussle with MiBs because of some asshole who couldn't mind his own business. But hey, he lives on coffee, anxiety and chocolate, just like me! Except I run on Bepis instead of coffee.



Slow month, huh? Zamboni infectors steal Monster from other zambonis, but also like to share their alien tapeworms with regular, Monsterless people. We also unlocked researching an unsettling report about zambonis, so let's do that.



Monaters! Scavengers Chupacabras attacking japan in unreasonably large numbers. They are deadly, but do you know what else is deadly?



Guns. Good thing those bastards are squishy enough to be killed with one shot. We've got 14 of them and no casualties. Good job, dinernauts.



Zamboni infestations areapparently self-contained, and if we miss a few there will be no apocalypse. On the other hand, someone seems to purposely create more and more outbreaks. With this knowledge we can just leave smaller infestation to the governments and the council salvagers.



Hmmm... HMMMMM... HMMMMMMMMMM... Just after we researched zamboni reproduction. BIG HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...



The civies want to stand up to secret organizations, but unfortunately we're also a secret organization. It's in Chelyabinsk. Curious that in 15 years a meteor will explode over that particular city where people are trying to rise up right now.



A city map with a large office building. That won't be fun. There's someone with a gun in the house up there, and Ms. Velvet almost got shot. Maybe splitting up wasn't very smart.



Ms. Velvet got one, Mr. Inglenook got one, Mr. Wowser may get got, and Mr. Mastication is probably safe. I knew this would be a bad one.



Mr. Mastication decided to bust through the main door. He zapped his crowbar-wirlding would-be assailant and proceeded.



Mr. Wowser had to withdraw after getting shot twice. Once Mr. Inglenook patches him up, he should be good to get back there and fight like a man and a half I'd like him to be.



Ms. Velvet should be careful; I don't know if the door was opened by the person she stunned or if there's someone else in there.



I made a good call. This guy tried to melee, But Ms. Velvet is a way better fighter. She hit him twice with her flashlight and got him on the ground.



Mr. Inglenook pacified the man who shot Mr. Wowser, then started healing his colleague. He couldn't finish this turn. There's always the next turn.



Another dangerous situation. That woman is dual-wielding a pocket pistol and a Desert Eagle. I think it's obvious which gun I want her to use against our agents. Mr. Mastication may want to wait for reinforcements. For now I had him unload his tazer and put in a full clip. These things are not exactly reliable.



Screw reinforcements, Mr. Mastication is going in! Uhh... a wooden club? This is a wrong woman! The club is appreciated though.



I think Ms. Velvet managed to clear out this house all by herself. This guy hit her with a baseball bat, but he wasn't so tough after getting tazed. The bat has been confiscated.



Mr. Mastication managed to whack that bitch-boy on the stairs, but there's the Deagle woman and her boss upstairs. Mr. Inglenook is on his way, so there's a chance for a fair fight.



A guy woke up and attacked Ms. Velvet. She put him back to sleep, but a little bit too hard. He's overstunned and will die in a turn or two. It was his choice to attempt assaulting an armed agent. I wish the council would believe that.



Mr. Mastication is hiding behind an auto-door, so he should be reasonably safe. Mr. Inglenook has arrived, but he's exhausted after walking here from the opposite corner of the map. Deagle Woman and Suit seem to be minding their own business, but as soon as they get a sight on any of the agents, things can get ugly. Suit has something that looks like scoped FN P90, that one sci-fi looking gun.



Suit was trying to bail, but Mr. Inglenook was ready. Mr. Mastication should probably stim this guy, unless it turns out he's just another civilian.
Okay, I identified the gun correctly. Three stims weren't enough to bring him out of overstunning, but he's probably not important.



Two more stunned women, one with crowbar, one with a pistol. Neither of them was Deagle Woman.



Mr. Wowser shot an unarmed civilian with his SMG. Good jerb, agent, now go there with your medikit and bandage her up.



Deagle Woman wounded Mr. Inglenook pretty badly. Here goes Mr. Mastication and the wooden club he confiscated earlier.



One civilian died from overstunning. We got all those people we captured whom we probably can't even interrogate, a whole bunch of secret files, and two new guns. Decent haul.



Now it's time for a cattle mutilation report. In Spain of all places. There's a joke to be made here.



Dart guns made this arrest easy. Now let's see where the other farmer is hiding.
He was in some shed, waiting for a dart to get plunged into his neck.



Monaters! Radcorpions in Mojave again. Couldn't people just accept that there's a new species of super-predator running around? Not like there's anything of any worth in that desert for people to sniff around.
Caught one scorpion alive by punching it until it blacked out. As long as it works.



Hah! The science lab is completed, and now we can research more unusual items such as alien weaponry! If we research an alien gun, we'll be able to use it in combat.



A green klansman revealed one of his colleagues' identity. This man certainly does have the Innsmouth look to him. His job is to send supplies to fish amish villages so they don't have to be tempted by the outside world. I'd call him a good man if he wasn't giving them dynamite and incendiary grenades.



A monster terror mission in Vancouver! It's bats! We haven't seen those yet, so I'm kinda excited to get new specimens to study.



This building was completely infested by bats. Mr. Grain got severely bitten, but who cares about some Mr. Grain. We healed him anyway.



We did it, we saved Vancouver! Captured a live shadowbat and transfered it to Guy Fieri HQ for study along with all the alien artifacts and exotic weapons that require science lab to study.



A gopnik pioneer told us about a scientist who makes super-krokodil for them. She was apparently active in the 80s, which means she might have helped the American government invent cocaine and meth. Don't listen to verified sources that say otherwise, they don't have access to the same material as I do.



She's not a good negotiator, it's gotta be said. I like her way of solving difficult problems, though; if you think about it, this is prety much what we do. Our enemies are hard to parley with, so we just kill their goons.



UFO landing in Namibia. That would be a good way to end the month, if we manage to get there on time, that is.

Too slow. The Ayy Lmaos aren't gonna just wait for us to arrive. They should, just saying.



AAAAAAAH! The Osprey is even slower than the Dragonfly, but it can hold twice as many agents. It's actually bigger than the Skyranger, just S L O W.



Industrial shenanigans in Dubai. We've immediately stumbled upon a jumper ready to end it all for some reason. We tried to dissuade him from jumping by shooting him with a stapler, but just in case he jumps, we've set up an ambush.



Now that wasn't very cash money of him. Mr. Mastication got badly beaten up too, so we had to heal him, and now we need some stimming.



We're all patched up and full of drugs, ready for action!



Their boss is here, sand she has a gun. I wouldn't be mad if she just handed it over, but life doesn't work that way.



I liked Mr. Mastication! Damn pioneers and their guns! I'm gonna take her gun and ram it down the black market and get $200 for it.



She's hiding in there. I swear if anyone else gets killed...



Oh, so this is how it is? We have to rest up for a turn or two, then we can get arresting/killing.



Ah, a beknifed gentleman. Hopefuly the last one. We stapled him until he passed out. RIPped pants, Mr. Mastication, you were okay.



The whole world increased the funding. At least they understand how much they need us. How about we spend this money immediately on scientists and a plane?



Well, after this. Assyrians knew how to merge a person and their fursuit, creating the furries that terrorize the world today.  And we learned it from Team Magma. Big fat HMMMMMMM...



Never change, Team Magma, keep up the good work with the timing. I still prefer Team Aqua over you, but I don't remember Archie offering me his cannon. Heh heh, his "cannon".



Puting all EGGSALTS into one basket, then immediately cracking them with copious amounts of bullets. I'm not good with this metaphor stuff, alright?



Remember when we were struggling with outposts?



Now EGGSALT can't even hurt us while we demolish their bases with them inside. Each outpost is a decent payout with no risk if explosives aren't involved.



Monaters! On the way back home, the agents stopped at a house that was at that moment being robbed by a yeti. I hate when it happens to me.
Then we had another monster mission in South America, this time a very minor zamboni infestation.



Now the aliens can begin their invasion. If we can arrest a supergopnik, a ninja or a yeti, we can arrest a grey or a reptillian.



Hohohohohoho! A plane twice as big means the Guy Fieri HQ staff needs expansion too.



Mr. Zultan, a real warrior skilled in all three ways of fighting - shooting, stabbing and throwing dynamite around. He's a pusspus, and not even an exceptionally strong one though.



Mr. Hatkat is like a well-rounded version of Mr. Zultan, which is even better in a long run. If there will be a long run for him...



Oh, Ms. Breeze. She can't run, she can't gun, but she can deck someone on the head with a pipe.



All new Guy Fieri HQ agents. I love Mr. Off-ramp's name, and he's a valuable one, a great sniper.
Harriott HQ got a Mr. Post.



Good ol' Deagle, only a little inferior to our trusty BlackOps magnum. Pretty sure it can break weaker walls, but then again, so can the magnum.



RPG, a light heavy weapon for busting walls, busting tanks, busting nu... numerous members of dangerous secret societies. The standard rocket has a large blast radius, and is still stronger than any grenade we have. The anti-tank rocket is more powerful, but its blast radius is one tile, and on this one tile the damage is severely reduced. The anti-tank is for bringing down armored targets, like tanks.



Secret files, never fail to bore me to death. There's absolutely nothing interesting to be said about this woman.



Top secret files. This guy even looks historical. He's Mr. History himself, we got him guys! Well, not really. Mr. History is responsible for all the money we get from raiding Osirion-owned ships and warehouses. He also repeats himself a lot.



Durathread stolen from Red Dawn. Tracksuits made of this thing can resist broken glass, lit cigarettes, and gunfire. We can try to find out an Adidas factory and just steal some for ourselves.
 


Here it is, the best plane you've ever seen. Drive-in & Dive is currently on its way to Faroe Islands to deal with rampaging monsters. Please, no city map!



Oh no, it's shamblers, whatever can our eight agents do?



Oh, wait. There are sixteen agents now, each worth half a regular agent because they're mostly rookies. We can deal with some abominables through sheer numbers. The downside of this plane? It has no side doors, so we can't make use of all agents in the first turn.



So many dead sloth-things. At least they, being four square creatures, can't fit through doors, which will spare us some searching later.



GG EZ.



The more agents we have, the better it feels to look at this screen.



Remember mongorns, the great fans of breaking and entering? Apparently they're gorilla men who burn quite well. I still prefer a good shell of buckshot from a BlackOps CAWS.



Easy money! But that's for the next time, stay hydrated.

I would have posted this a day earlier, but my laptop's charger started making pretty sparks and nice bzzzzt sounds.

[Haspen]

Yey for Mr.Hatkat!

Do I get to visit the cruise liner? :3

[Darkening Kaos]

     Interesting, you only just unlocked Desert Eagle?  I think I picked one up in the third or fourth mission, first month, unlocked it soon after and then let them rust in the stores.  The magnum available from the start is better.
     Meanwhile, I have yet to see any Black-Ops weapons.

[Burnt Pies]

this is a great read. Could I claim a Ms Burnt?

[SQman]

     Interesting, you only just unlocked Desert Eagle?  I think I picked one up in the third or fourth mission, first month, unlocked it soon after and then let them rust in the stores.  The magnum available from the start is better.
     Meanwhile, I have yet to see any Black-Ops weapons.

Large number of weapons means considerable randomness I guess. Magnum unlocks on its own even without being found, so nothing was lost.
BlackOps guns are standard weapons of MiBs and The Syndicate, and Osirion uses them among other high-end ballistic weapons.

Spoiler: File 19: Cult crackdown (click to show/hide)

Are we late to the party? I have no idea, because our invitations never arrived. Are we even allowed to bring a robot with us? Is that one guy aiming at us with an RPG launcher? Everybody inside before they kick us out!



Sneaky bastard! Mr. Drama reacted, but only after getting shot. Villa, time for your training!

After that the mission went as expected. Got a mind probe, a sonic pulser and a BIG BONE. Not too much stat gains for some reason.



Something for Haspen. Mr. Hatkat was on the ship and killed four dudes.



A gift we stole from the anthropod party. It's a water gun filled with deadly acid. The accuracy isn't great, but it deals chem damage. I think? How much chem damage? No fukken clue.



AFP? Come on, I need some more info than that! Armed Forces of the Philippines? Australian Federal Police? Active fire protection? You know what? Sure, his family was drowned by fire sprinklers. We now have a vengeful firefighter running around in a ninja costume, throwing knives at rookies and robots.



A Red Dawn pioneer informed us that they have access to PKs. I'd say it's better than M60 just because snap shots are faster and more accurate. BlackOps machine guns are still much better.



Two cult bases at the same time. Drive-in & Dive is on its way to Botswana to take care of the Church of Dagon. Black Lotus base in Australia will have to wait, because I'm not sending the Big Meat from Jamaica.



Ah crap, I knew switching to the Osprey would bite me on the ass very soon. South Africa is off limits for the dinernauts it seems.



As all things with fur, shamblers are flammable. Since they're large creatures, they get hit four times by exploding napalm grenades. As usual I should mention that miniguns kill them very reliably.



A souvenir from that one monster terror attack. Just a giant bat that can pierce... elephant skin? Just like giant spiders and tapirs...



Southern Australia is also beyond our reach. The Big Meat can't reach any of those poits either. We should get a base in Antarctica to cover southern parts of the world.



Syndicate warehouse, let's go!



It's a simple operation. I know as a fact that there's nothing of any value here, but there's no risk attached to the neat points prize.



If we can't take on their base, we'll just keep raiding their hentai stashes. Their boss got two stun darts in her. The first one Madamme Abandone fired missed and hit a strawhat who was not in anyone's line of sight.



Guess who barely escaped getting roasted alive. That's right, everyone! Suck it, ninjas.
Arrested a few people and that's it. Neither witches nor ninjas have anything interesting to tell us.



Bone, hohoho! It's almost completely worthless and can't even be used as a club. I mean, it can be, but it's shit. A rusty pipe is better than this.



Zamboni infector dissection revealed that zambonis not only lift but also do cardio. Their parasites go through puberty at this stage and want to get their tentacles on everything with a hole. If there's no holes, the zamboni will make one for their pet.

I've ignored two monster mission in Greenland because it's polar night. Well, more research it is!



You know what deters scorpions well? Bullets. It worked before, so I'm not changing my strategy.



A compact, five use medikit that's also fast to use. I wonder what we need to manufacture it. Probably Monster. Yup, Monster that we have to extract from monsters and zambonis.



You're not fooling me, those are Louis and Zoey from Left 4 Dead. Does that make L4D a part of X-Com Expanded Universe? Here the survivors work for EGGSALT. With how many zamboni outbreaks we've been dealing with, I can see how they would find themselves in zamboni-related situations.



MOAR! I'm not avoiding abominations, these things sell for a lot.



A lot of people really hate this gun, but again, the only people I hear ever voice their opinions on guns are those nerds who think every gun made after 1918 is a babby toy. I personally like all those sci-fi looking weapons.
Game-wise, this one is an SMG of the two-handed kind. It's fast and accurate, especially in snap shots. It could very well be a light assault rifle if it wasn't for its low firepower.



Finally something worth our time. I don't remember what to expect from labs. I know we'll get some good evidence and criminals to question, but I have no idea what kind of resistance we'll be met with.


I think I know where the lab is. Getting out immediately might end badly, so let's wait a while and see if there was some kind of ambush prepared for us.



There was an ambush, but we counterambushed him after he tried to shoot us. On the screencap you can see a stun dart flying straight at the guy. It was enough to stun. Good job, Mr. Yanush.



Mr. Violin, though, got overzealous and blasted a scientist who just wanted to check out what the whole commotion is about. We could have captured her and ask why they have empty warehouses guarded like it's a big deal.



What's next? We're going in, arresting a few people, kill the rest, get out with loot. No, wait, that sound really bad. Get out with evidence sounds much better. Maybe after we're done with this mod in a couple of years, we'll get looting instead.



The work outside isn't done. A fool with an assault rifle and another fool with an SMG are hanging out in the warehouses around the lab.



Ms. House went in with a nightstick in her hand and beat up two scientists. Then she went to hide behind the courtain and discovered an operation table. There's no aliens on the table, so it's irrelevant.



Mr. Boots discovered the bathroom. I REALLY hope we don't recover anything from here.



Ah crap, Mr. Bother! A guard came out of the main room and just wrecked the unfortunate agent with a few rounds from his BlackOps assault rifle.



He didn't even know he was surrounded.



Nothing of value was lost. I would have prefered if he lived for one turn longer, but it's okay.



The only ones remaining are chumps hanging out outside. Time to hunt... was it too edgy? Probably.



We got plenty of points, a Syndicate agent and two Syndicate scientists. We're making progress, guys!



Too much progress for my likings. A green klansman told us there's that woman running around burning orphanages. Just to be sure, we haven't burnt a single orphanage in our crusade against the supernatural yet, have we?



Monies. I'm really considering building that base in Antarctica and name it Paula Deen HQ or Ramsay HQ. Not yet.



EGGSALT base near Phoenix. Big Meat is a Dragonfly, not an Osprey, and it may be difficult to take on a base with just eight agents. We can go and check it out, but don't expect a big success.



Maybe we can do this after all? We're in a good place to be, and we've already commited ourselves to this by having Ms. House toss a hi-ex at them.



Hello there! Way too many dudes. Let's see how many of them actually count.




ekusupuroshon.animegirl. Took out a good portion of enforcers, but not the ones that mattered.



One of the enforcers knows explosion magic and hit Mr. Anklet with it. I wish Villa was here to put him out.



Some sort of heavy enforcer trying to snipe from inside of the base. He's bleeding now thanks to Mr. Violin's effort and CAWS.



There are some interesting paintings in this building. Is this an... anime girl? EGGSALT is in cahoots with Black Lotus! I hope they don't copy their ninja techniques but with grenade launchers instead of knives.




Very ungucci. Infiltrators and goons are losing their metaphorical marbles, but the enforcers and the big guys are still going strong. I'm kinda in a full-on assault mode right now; I can't turn back at any cost.




Mr. Jaw is overdosing on lead-based meds, and it's all thanks to a certain enforcer who got himself a good hiding spot. I expect that EGGSALT guy to bleed out sooner rather than later.
Mr. Violin found the head honcho, the big kahuna, the old man with a cane and a Deagle. We can't kill that man because we need his testimony. He is already on the brink of flipping the hell out, judging by the fact he's already gone berserk once.



Not a single agent lost despite the fact that one was set on fire, and two were bleeding profusely in the sand at some point. The last enforcer died to a Colt bullet, because some agent ran out of ammo.

We've got the master, his cane, and a few guns we haven't seen yet:
-M-14 rifle
-VSS Vintorez sniper rifle (associated with Red Dawn, meaning they interact with each other)
-Barrett M83 sniper rifle
EGGSALT is sort of more beaned than they were just a few minutes before.



Young Shen finished figuring out the secrets of alien engineering. Turns out there's no secrets, so we can try to tinker with alien tech. Let's get some captives processed before we get to important stuff, shall we?
After the last mission Mr. Violin became too swole to control, and we can't keep him in the gym anymore.



Since we're already harrassing the cults... The amish klansmen, the one cult with the worst equipment. They're hardly a threat after we took down a base twice as big with better equipped staff, while having half as many agents.

This was a massacre, and I'll let you take a guess on which side. One chosen somehow survived, and so did his fancy grenade launcher.



Oh, those can be nasty. On one hand the risk is high, on the other there will be more kinds of zambonis to capture and dissect. It's in the Gobi desert, Guy Fieri HQ turf.



And we're underground. Most agents have buckshot CAWS, my favorite anti-zamboni weapon.



I'm actually scared right now. There are infectors, many regular zamboni, and a zamboni in knight armor. I hope tht when Mr. Particular gets killed by a zamboni knight, he'll give me his final hamon so I can avenge him and defeat my vampire adopted brother.



Zamboni knight defeated. It took the combined effort of all agents, but we finally did it. A boomer exploded and seriously wounded Mr. Excitement, but we've got Villa on medic duty.



Classic X-Com is one of these games that get better when you put some imagination into them. In a long-forgotten crypt a guy with a minigun just blasted a bloated, rotting living dead with a minigun, then two women with futuristic shotguns ran past him to check around the corner. Behind them all is a chubby asian dude with a samurai sword, out of his breath because he's not as badass as he thought. Mr. Accident probably shouldn't have been given a melee weapon with his mediocre stamina...



Mr. Off-ramp! Just when I thought we were done here. Mr. Deadwatch was so excited to have his own edgy revenge arc after witnessing his friend's death, but it ended quickly when he just killed the zamboni in two shots.



Mr. Accident actually got 5 stamina out of that. Other than that, we've recovered some artifacts of... questionable value: old books, skulls, leather corsets, a sledgehammer, and a pickaxe. At least we've recovered the tomb guard corpse for study.



Zrbite, the replacement for elerium in X-Com: Terror from the Deep. I guess it had to be a thing because X-Com already had a stockpile of elerium after the first alien war, or maybe because aliens from T'leth were stuck on Earth with no access to elerium. Either way, zrbite will be useful for some things in the future.



Ms. Burnt, one of the new recruits in Harriott HQ. She's a pretty good runner, average at shooting, and horrendously weak. Well, she's not likely to trip the lunk alarm in the gym.



All five new rookies. Decent names, but no great ones like Off-ramp.



Black Lotus base in China, near Hong Kong. Their leader is the avatar, who's a little more imposing than a grandpa with a pistol. Good thing Central Officer Bradford isn't here, or else he'd keep reminding us that THE BLACK LOTUS CONTINUES TO MAKE PROGRESS ON THE AVATAR PROJECT. IF WE'RE GOING TO SHUT THEM DOWN, WE NEED TO MOVE, FAST!



The bats aren't all that sneaky. They do fly, though, so they can just appear from behind cover and wreck an agent.



It's now day in Hong Kong, which means we can equip our dinernauts for action. Mr. Inglenook got a new toy, a heavy machine gun. Usually those things are mounted on trucks, but this particular agent isn't much different from a truck.



A whole fortress of ninjas and other dangerous people. From what I've seen so far, the straw-hats are poorly equipped for fighting armored enemies such as us, but both ninjas and witches can easily crack our shells. The avatar, I assume, shoots laser, which also cuts through our armor with no resistance.



We're doing non-lethal takedowns now. We need to clean up the exit hatch before moving out, and just by accident Madame Abandonne is in the front with her dart rifle. Nighty night, lads.



This was not a ninja sting...



It's not the best screenshot, but just believe me it's the avatar. It was just floating near the plane, taking potshots at Mr. Wowser. More work for Villa.



I always loved martial arts with long and noble traditions. Throwing dynamite around is one of my favorites. As long as it works, as an ancient master once said.



Two nearest ninjas we know of have been disposed. I sniped the one on the balcony personally.



Holy shit, everyone is on fire! Villa, get extinguishing!




This isn't going well at all! Villa blasted her extinguisher again, but that made Madame Abandonne and Mr. Inglenook faint. I stimmed them up with my trauma pack, but I'm not sure how useful they will be.



Now I'm positive we need to get thehell out of there. We've got what we came for, almost.



Jesus Christ, that was horrible. Got the avatar, but...



Ms. Consulate, Ms. Velvet and Mr. Songs died fighting like true chmpions of Earth, like heroes. I tossed the avatar towards the plane knowing I wouldn't get there on time, then I fainted and was left outside. Mr. Particular died before he could retreat. He was panickingand on fire. Villa was supposed to draw gunfire away from Mr. Particular, but she crumbled too soon.

Mr. Particular was one of the first agents. He WAS X-Com along with his partner, Mr. Insect (who died in the first mission). He was supposed to be our trump card here, but insted he got ripped apart by fire-tossing ninjas. Rip in pasta, Mr. Particular. The rest too, I guess.

[Haspen]

>emotions after first half

WAO I am murder, knight of kills C:

>emotions after second half

erryone dying and that's horrible :c

[EuchreJack]

Amazing tactical victory against overwhelming odds.

[Bumber]

-Whoops, wrong thread-