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Author Topic: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Fifteen!)  (Read 20253 times)

Secheral

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #90 on: February 05, 2018, 01:59:29 am »

Take the money and sell everything of value to skandinavian sharks.
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GigaGiant

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #91 on: February 05, 2018, 02:06:29 am »

Zero

"What kind of nonsense are you trying to pull? Did you really believe that I wouldn't notice?"

Ready my stomping boot.

"May you rest in peace. Pleasant dreams."

Stomp Gary II. Then clean off my shoe.
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King Zultan

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #92 on: February 05, 2018, 03:26:15 am »

I shall call the dark blade "Red Glowy Sword" then with it in my possession I shall go and find adventure.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Lovefool

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #93 on: February 06, 2018, 12:08:40 am »

Due to bad timing on my part, there will be no update today. I will be updating tomorrow, hopefully in the morning.
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Present Time... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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Lovefool

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Nine!)
« Reply #94 on: February 06, 2018, 10:03:55 am »

Inning Nine!

Ryden
Escape card game hell to another universe.

[5-1=4]: You escape CARD GAME HELL, and show up at another universe. It looks pretty similar to your own, you wonder what's there.

Take myself to a farmer, or maybe a barber

[6]: You take yourself to a... blacksmith.

"Hmm... A dog with a sword? That's unusual. That sword seems kinda dented though, maybe it needs a good sharpening."

The Blacksmith grabs some tongs and yanks you out of the dogs mouth, and takes you over to a fire. He prepares to sharpen you, which will be really, really painful. You must roll to dodge!

[5 for the Blacksmith/6 for TamerVirus]: You manage to, somehow, push the tip of your blade into the wooden table, slingshotting you into the blacksmith's hand! You take over his mind, but not completely. He still holds some semblance of consciousness. (-1 to your next roll)

Jump through, to another universe.

[1]: You instead get consumed by a black hole and wind up in some kind of void... You don't know what this place is, but you know it's scaring the bejeebus out of you.

"WELCOME TO THE VOID!"

You hear a heavily armored figure in the darkness call out to you...

(-1 to your next roll)

Perform dark ritual to become lich once more.

[4]: You perform the dark ritual, and successfully become an immortal lich. Sadly isn't as cool as being the Dark God of Necromancy though.

Take the money and sell everything of value to skandinavian sharks.

[3]: You grab a couple bucks, a few figurines, one... questionable item, and you sell them to a group of sharks on E-bay. You made a good hundred bucks from that deal.

Zero

"What kind of nonsense are you trying to pull? Did you really believe that I wouldn't notice?"

Ready my stomping boot.

"May you rest in peace. Pleasant dreams."

Stomp Gary II. Then clean off my shoe.

[2]: You decide to show mercy to Gary, and give him one last chance to change his mind.

I shall call the dark blade "Red Glowy Sword" then with it in my possession I shall go and find adventure.

[5+1=6]: You name the Dark Blade, "Red Glowy Sword". This upsets the spirit inside of the blade, who proceeds to attempt to possess you! You must roll to dodge!

[6 for the Spirit/3 for King Zultan]: The spirit possesses you... for the most part. You can still see what your body is doing, but you have no control.

"Oh... How long it has been... Since I have had form..."

Zultan's eye's glow a menacing red.

"I believe it is time I flip this game of yours on its head. Heheheh..."

Inning Finish!
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Secheral

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #95 on: February 06, 2018, 10:29:23 am »

Crash at the GM's place and leech off him. Order  a dozen pizzas and a custom-forged golden baseball bat.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2018, 10:40:00 am by Secheral »
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TamerVirus

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #96 on: February 06, 2018, 10:35:14 am »

Use my host, Ummagumma the blacksmith, to find Polnareff
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NRDL

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #97 on: February 06, 2018, 11:15:07 am »

Baseball bat the crap out of this heavily armoured figure.
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

ziizo

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #98 on: February 06, 2018, 12:30:30 pm »

go back to home
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Puppyguard

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #99 on: February 06, 2018, 04:10:17 pm »

Ryden
Start a cult obsessed with baseball in the new universe
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sprinkled chariot

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Eight!)
« Reply #100 on: February 06, 2018, 04:58:03 pm »

Curse NRDL with bad luck for fucking up universe twice.
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GigaGiant

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Nine!)
« Reply #101 on: February 06, 2018, 06:54:09 pm »

Repeat this action:
Zero

"Gary, I will allow you another chance to choose if humanity should perish. The fate of the world rests on your decision. What will you decide?"

Allow Gary to choose whether or not he will end all humanity.

If he chooses to do so, nod in approval and watch as humanity dies.

If he chooses not to do so, then teach Gary a lesson about the evils of mankind. Tell him how, every day, snails are unceremoniously murdered by evil humans who deserve no mercy.

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King Zultan

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Nine!)
« Reply #102 on: February 07, 2018, 12:18:51 am »

Try and retake control of my body.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Lovefool

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Ten!)
« Reply #103 on: February 07, 2018, 02:06:36 pm »

Inning Ten!

Crash at the GM's place and leech off him. Order  a dozen pizzas and a custom-forged golden baseball bat.

[6]: You leech so much off of me that we both wind up homeless and on the street. I am very upset with you, and get ready to grab you to throw you into the recycle bin! You must roll to dodge!

[2 for Lovefool/3 for Secheral]: You run away from me, and ditch me in some alleyway somewhere. You're now free from my grasp, but you aren't free from homelessness. (-1 to your next roll)

"I HOPE YOU DIE ON THE STREETS YOU BASTARD!! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOUR BROTHERS! FROM THIS DAY I WILL DRINK ALL OF THE CAPRI-SUN!!"

[2]: You don't order and pizzas or buy that golden baseball bat, since you are homeless and have no remaining money to your name.


Use my host, Ummagumma the blacksmith, to find Polnareff

[1-1=0]: Ummagumma dies of heat stroke once you step outside of his home. Now that he's dead, your consciousness goes back into the sword, that's about to be trampled on by a car! You must roll  to dodge!

[5 for the car/5 for TamerVirus]: The car manages to just pass over you without any contact. You're safe, it feels as if the universe has kept you alive for now. (+1 to your next roll)

Baseball bat the crap out of this heavily armoured figure.

The heavily armored figure turns out to be none other than:


EXDEATH, Warrior of the Void!

"YOU THINK YOU CAN BEST ME, MORTAL!!! YOU ARE A FOOL TO DO SO, FOR I HAVE THE POWER OF THE INCONCEIVABLE, UNIMAGINABLE, OMNIPOTENT VOID!!!"

[5-1=4]: You ready your bat, and proceed to swing at Exdeath. Exdeath must roll to dodge!

[2 for Exdeath/5 for NRDL]: You swing so hard that you break through Exdeath's Armor! You see a treelike being come out of the armor.

"IMPOSSIBLE!! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO DESTROY MY IMPENETRABLE ARMOR?!?!"

"I hit it, really, really, really hard."

ARGGGGGGH! YOU BLASTED BASTARD!! YOU WILL PAY FOR HUMILIATING ME!!"

go back to home

[3+1=4]: You go back to your house, your mom has been waiting hours for you to come home. You eat dinner, and then go to sleep. Today has been pretty rough for you, so this is a rest that is well deserved.

Ryden
Start a cult obsessed with baseball in the new universe

[6]: You create a cult revolving around baseball, however some things that you said wound up getting you ostracized and excommunicated from your own cult. If they see you again, they will kill you. (-1 to your next roll)

Curse NRDL with bad luck for fucking up universe twice.

[5]: You curse NRDL with a very specific bad luck curse. Every odd turn, NRDL will get a -1 on his roll. He will not be able to escape the curse unless he does 10 good deeds. You are very happy with this result, and laugh with delight. (+1 to your next roll)

Repeat this action:
Zero

"Gary, I will allow you another chance to choose if humanity should perish. The fate of the world rests on your decision. What will you decide?"

Allow Gary to choose whether or not he will end all humanity.

If he chooses to do so, nod in approval and watch as humanity dies.

If he chooses not to do so, then teach Gary a lesson about the evils of mankind. Tell him how, every day, snails are unceremoniously murdered by evil humans who deserve no mercy.


[5]: You manage to convince Gary to kill humans because you managed to show him mercy even though he tried to kill you. Gary decides to do as you have told him, Humanity must roll to dodge!

[4 for Humanity/6 for Gary]: Another 20% of humanity necks themselves, you nod in approval. You're a sick omnicidal maniac, and we love you for it. (+1 to your next roll)

Try and retake control of my body.

[1-1=0]: You instead get pushed further into your subconscious until it's almost as if you don't exist. Your rolls for the next 2 innings will be for the Sword's Consciousness, instead of your own. But, look on the bright side, at least you haven't been erased from existence. (+1 to your next roll)

"It's time for me to leave this place, and take my rightful place in the Overworld... As Supreme Ruler."

Zultan's body begins to rise the spiral staircase on the mountain.

Inning Finish!
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Present Time... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Consider supporting my friends' SRPG project! I voice in the trailer!

Secheral

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Re: Batter Up! - A Minimalist Roll To Dodge (Inning Nine!)
« Reply #104 on: February 07, 2018, 02:29:44 pm »

So that's how it's gonna be, eh? Gather up a posse of delinquent Capri-suns from the slums. Rough up Lovefoot some, so he knows not to mess with us. And make him take back his words. I'm pure stock Capri-sun, born and raised in the slavering pits Below. None of that bastard blood.
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