Eldritch horror? Try to eat it, it's probably better than peasant meat.
[4]
Vs.
[3]
Try to become a evil spirit from this unfortunate turn of events.
You begin the ritual to turn your mind into spirit form, when a large talking yellow chest with legs and arms runs up to you and eats you whole. As you are slowly digested, your soul gets ejected from your body, but you look back only to see your body munched and chomped on. The ritual was incomplete when the chest ate you, and as a result, you have been truly killed, after a long game filled wuth bad rolls and DM sadism.
Puppyguard is dead!Fly away from the river to somewhere safe.
[4]
You flap your wings as hard as you can, swimming against the tide, slowly being swept away, when you see a fallen tree, and grab onto it. You manage to just about get your wings out of the water, and with that, you are free. You soar over the city, it's rooftops and streets far below, and fly over towards the woods, where you land in a small clearing a decend bit away from the town.
Take the torch and toss it into the dark room. Take cover, in case it's the storage area for gunpowder, booze, or some other explosive substance.
[2]
You toss the torch in, and quickly take cover, but not quick enough. A large explosion rips through the tunnel, causing the archway to fall down, and the roof behind you to collapse. You barely manage to get away, but you soon reach the door at the far end of the coridoor.
[4]
It's unlocked.
You run through, the sound of collapsing tunnel echoing behind you, and lean against the wall. There's blood coming from a gash on your forehead, and there's a long scrape on your arm that's slowly starting to bleed a bit. You look around the room and see a large square room. On your left is an open doorway with a sleeping goblin guard. On your right is a campfire surrounded by more goblins. There is a portcullis ahead of you, with no discernable way of opening it. Lanterns hang from the cieling, casting a dim glow on the room. Your arm hurts.
"ERM. WELL. BY THE HAIRY LEFT BUTTOCK OF [LOCAL DEITY], I AM GLAD I SLEPT IN!"
WAIT - ANGRY MOB IN THE THRONE ROOM, OR STILL APPROACHING THE CASTLE??
EITHER WAY, SCRATCH MY HEAD AT THIS TURN OF EVENTS, THEN STROKE MY BEARD AND CALMLY POINT OUT TO THE APPROACHING MOB (THROUGH A WINDOW IF THEY OUTSIDE) JUST HOW VERY TASTY DUCK IS, ESPECIALLY WHEN COMPARED TO CHICKENS, QUAILS AND THE VARIOUS GAME BIRDS USUALLY AVAILABLE FOR MEALS AROUND HERE
BEGIN TO GIVE A TANTALISING DESCRIPTION OF SOME OF THE EXOTIC METHODS OF DUCK-PREPARATION I HAVE ENCOUNTERED DURING MY TRAVELS THROUGH NEIGHBOURING KINGDOMS - YOU KNOW, DOING IMPORTANT, MIND-EXPANDING NOBLE-TYPE STUFF WHAT MAKES ONE BETTER AND MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE RULER - WHERE DUCKS ARE CONSIDERED ONE OF THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE DELICACIES
THE BEST WAY TO TURN THESE DAFT PEASANTS AGAINST SOMETHING IS GENERALLY TO TELL THEM HOW DELICIOUS IT IS, AFTER ALL.
IF THAT SOMEHOW NOT WORK, HASTILY GATHER ANY REMAINING LOYALIST GUARDS/SERVANTS/ADVISORS AND RETURN TO LOCK SELF IN ROOM I WOKE UP IN.
ASK IF ANYONE HAS A PLAN
EDIT: DEFEND AGAINST THIS SLANDER BY POINTING OUT HOW TASTY HUMANS ARE, ESPECIALLY THE NOBILITY SINCE THEY GIVE BONUS STATS IN CHARM FOR EVERY ONE YOU EAT.
OH SHIT! THE DUCK HUNGERS FOR HUMAN FLESH! IT SAID SO ITSELF!
POINT THAT OUT TO PEOPLE IF THEY DON'T LISTEN TO ME INITIALLY!
[1]
Vs.
[6]
DEFEND AGAINST THIS SLANDER BY POINTING OUT HOW TASTY HUMANS ARE, ESPECIALLY THE NOBILITY SINCE THEY GIVE BONUS STATS IN CHARM FOR EVERY ONE YOU EAT.
((The DM wants to take this time to say that he did not rig that, and that he's extremely spooked, since he's never gotten a one and a six in succession like that before.))
The throne room full of people goes quiet, and they stop running towards you, as the duck comes out of the Duchal food room thing.
You know, duck really tastes nice.Human tastes quite nice as well.You do realise that you're taking orders from a talking duck, right?At least the duck doesn't make us pay all of our money to him so he can sit around with whores all day and hire other people to impersonate him so he doesn't need to actually deal with problems!All who support the real ruler if this town, come over here.Cricket cricketI'm going to lock myself in my room now, if you'll excuse me...After a quick struggle, the entire population if the town is banging on the door to the Duchal bedroom, and yelling various things that make very little sense, while the former Duke stands on his bed holding the first sharp family heirloom he could fine. It's very loud in the castle right now.
Attempt to transfer mind in some random peasant.
[4]
Finally, your newfound ohsychis powers actually work. Your old body bleeds out, while your soul is transferred to a random peasant in the Duchal castle. You stop what you're doing and look aprund. On one side of the door is a duck on the royal throne, eating bread, and on the other side, the angry mob is trying to break down the door to the Duchal bedroom. It's very loud.
"We're heading to the Nordinsel, the outpost of the wimpy knights from the South! We will besiege and loot it for food, then we should get reinforcements! Anyway, set sail for Nordinsel!" Spoke King Varg to his men. When he stopped speaking to his warriors, he wrote a letter about needing reinforcements and ordered a delivery raven to deliver it to the Northlands.
Sail for the Nordinsel! When we arrive, we should land and engage the heathens!
You sail cdor the Nordinsel, but it goes terribly. The knights have learned from the past, spand their fortress has been fortified more, and is now armed with large and powerful ballistas that take down your ships before they even reach the docks. Your remaining warriors turn the ship around without even asking you, and start to riot once you are far anough out to sea.
[4]
However, a carrier pigeon arrives soon after to deliver good news: reinforcements and supplies are both on the way! The letter also warns you not to raid any of the Kinpghtly strongholds, as ghey are now called, since they've all been re - fortified with various things that you ran into several times. That would have been nice earlier.
Apolsgies that this update took a while, I had stuff happening. If that ever happens again, ramind me to post and update.
Author
Topic: Imic's RPG town RTD: Turn 9 (Read 9303 times)