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[Draignean]

Event 9: Hefty Packages and Bluetooth Bugs

Randall Mixon (Yotta)

Randall then stands up, his arms outstretched infront of him, his hands open as they were gripping a phantom package. He then precedes looks Locke straight in eyes without saying a word.

[6] Locke apparently interprets your actions as silent steely charisma and willingness to take point, not as potential sexual harassment. He takes the key that the Captain gave him, inserts it into the air, says a word that's lost in a rumble of sourceless ListenGuard™ thunder, and pulls a box about the size of a deck of cards from nowhere.

"Alright, he- OH CHRIST-"

SLAM

The tiny box tumbles out of his fingers and hits the ground between the two of you with an impact that would shame a sledgehammer. Locke looks at you, then down at the box. He bends over, relaxes his knees, and hauls the box up in order to place it in your hands.

[4+1 Saw it happen] The box sits heavily in your hands. Really heavily. Like 30 kilograms heavily. Also, the box is hard and the edges are already starting the dig in against your palms.

"Also, you'll need one of these to stay in contact with me." Locke takes a large beetle out of his pocket and sticks it over your ear while your hands are busy holding the package. "I'll have one up here, and it has a direct link to the Spelljammer's communications, so I'll be in your ear the entire time. It's also bluetooth enabled, so if you want to play music on your phone you can do that too."

Spoiler: Randal Mixon (click to show/hide)

Health: Right Arm covered in scales
Noteworthy Items
Elementalist Wizard Coat
Mop
Bucket
Mysterious Package
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

Eiyal (Harry)

"Trailblazer! That's me! That's me all over!"

"Can I get some healing before we leave though, I'm not super bothered by the bleeding but you kinda need to address these things before they get infected or something."

Gonna be blazing me some trails through Tucson, that's for sure. Also request healing of some sort.

After the shenanigans with the box, Locke seems happy with your enthusiasm. "Perfect! Hold still," he says before affixing a bug to your head as well.

"I'm not much of a healer, but Irneus seems to have stepped out, and we do need to be moving quickly, soo... Locke pokes in your wound gingerly. [6-1 Not much of a healer] There's an electric spark, a whiff of honey, and both the wound in your side and the one on your thigh close immediately. They're still very slightly tender, but that's a minor complaint.

Locke appears extraordinarily pleased with himself.

Spoiler: Eiyal (click to show/hide)

Health: No news is good news
Noteworthy Items
Sword-Mage Wizard Coat
Pulwar
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

Farris (Cool)

"Auxiliary. That's the role for me." In his mind, Farris was hoping no one would need assistance so he could simply wander the town and relax.

Locke nods and deftly attaches a large beetle to the side of your head. You begin to wonder how that enchantment works. Is there some giant room full of beetles that Locke's pocket is linked to? Is there a specific trigger, or can he accidentally access the beetle chamber if he puts his hand in the wrong pocket?

The alternative, that Locke has just been going about his day with four large beetles stuffed in his pants, is difficult to contemplate.

Assuming you're not still dreaming.

Spoiler: Farris Kindlestone (click to show/hide)

Health: No news is good news.
Noteworthy Items
Enchanter Wizard Coat Temporary Enchantments: Temperature Control, Oxygen Generation
Copy Of: 'You and Enhancement Enchantment'
Umbrella
Enchanted Pigeon Statuette
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

Irneus (Icytea)

Irneus is out of the room, and knows nothing of what the others are deciding. He'll probably be left with whatever the others don't pick.

When you come back from expectorating bits of greek and Manana over the bathroom, everything seems markedly nicer. Locke has recovered, Eiyal is no longer bleeding, there's not vomit everywhere, and everyone has...

matching head beetles?

"Irneus! Speak of the devil, you're going to be working as the scout for this little training run." Locke flashes you a smile that only appears slightly manic and walks over, attaching a beetle to your head.

You don't know how everyone else is getting along with their new head accessory, but yours immediately hisses at you. 

"Come on, step up to the glyph! Let's impress the captain with a fast and clean first mission!"

Spoiler: Irneus the Merciful (click to show/hide)

Health: No news is good news
Noteworthy Items
Healer Wizard Coat
Bonesaw
Cooler
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

TUCSON
Closest Human Civilization to the Elemental Plane of Fire

Time: 1420
Windspeed: 8 knots, SE
Temperature: 315 kelvin
Elevation: 12
Days until Next Parade: Now, Fellow Stalker.

All

Locke teleports you into Tucson, putting you away from major obstructions within a reasonable degree of accuracy. While horror stories about this kind of thing going terribly wrong are invented daily by senior cadets, it seems to have worked out reasonably well in this case. You're on a street corner, probably a good ten or fifteen minutes walk from the heart of town, but still in a quasi-shopping area. There's a thrift store immediately behind you, as well as a taxidermy shop and a jeweler across the street. You arrive next to a group of busker elves, playing jazz harmonica on a street corner and doing their best to stay as far under the awning as they can.

The four of you being the largest crowd the jazz harmonicists have likely drawn all day, they immediately begin launching into the one of the most creatively slaughtered versions of the Mananaut anthem you've ever heard played on a harmonica.

The strident tones of the jazz harmonica players are broken by your beetle hissing loudly in your ear. "The house you're looking for is at, oh let me see... 1132 Telby lane, and you're at the corner of... Shit, let me get Maps up..." Locke's voice is oddly distorted by the insect on your head, sounding much more passive-aggressive than you remember him being.

"Okay, yeah, so you can keep going straight and go through downtown, or you can like swing around and go through the park, but I'll leave the rest up to you guys and your scout. Let me know if you need anything. Mission control, out."

[IronyOwl]

((Your beetle link isn't working. I can't see what skittering horror everyone's got whispering gently into their ear.))

[Draignean]

((Your beetle link isn't working. I can't see what skittering horror everyone's got whispering gently into their ear.))

Thanks! Fixed.

[Coolrune206]

Farris puts his hands in his pockets (assuming the robe has them) and whistles quietly as he follows the scout.

[IcyTea31]

"I say we make this a walk in the park. We will be less conspicuous there, and if something goes horribly, horribly wrong, collateral damage is a smaller concern. We can also most likely grab a tourist map or the like there so we'll know where we shall actually go."

[Harry Baldman]

"Lemme blaze that for you."

Charge the nearest kiosk and get a map of the local area. Do I have any spare cash? If yes, strongly consider paying for such a map.

[Yottawhat]

With a dead-eyed look and a crooked posture from the package, Randall slowly waddles down the street.

[Draignean]

Week 10: Killing Kiosks and Jiggling Jugs

Randall Mixon

With a dead-eyed look and a crooked posture from the package, Randall slowly waddles down the street.

[6]

People in the street make way for you as though you're a holy man on pilgrimage. Your bizarre gait, Mananaut attire, detached behavior, and peculiarly held package project an air of something just strange enough to warrant respect.

This treatment continues even as you end up walking through a cross street inexplicably filled with rather well proportioned women wearing nothing but sequins and twirly rods limned with multicolored magefire. As you cross the street, the rather singularly bouncy (in various meaning of the phrase) turn to follow you, keeping step behind you as you trudge forward. Behind them, you're dimly aware of various hovering wagons, lofted balloons, and the sound of a band playing with all their might. Though they're difficult to see as you hunch and waddle forward with your package, you can see crowds of people on either side of the street, cheering and waving flags.

You never asked for this.

Spoiler: Randal Mixon (click to show/hide)

Health: Right Arm covered in scales
Noteworthy Items
Elementalist Wizard Coat
Mop
Bucket
Mysterious Package
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

Eiyal

"Lemme blaze that for you."

Charge the nearest kiosk and get a map of the local area. Do I have any spare cash? If yes, strongly consider paying for such a map.

[6] You charge the nearest kiosk you can see, which turns out to be quite close, and drop kick the wall of the structure in order to take full advantage of the bonus hit chance provided by your charge. The kiosk trembles slightly at the force of the blow, and a cheap sung-wood brochure holder near the front window spills to the ground. Full-color maps peak out from within.

Score.

You grab a full-color map of Tucson and rise. It doesn't have a price on it, and, glancing inside the kiosk, the only person inside looks like they've decided to take a nap on the ground. So it's probably complimentary.

Looking around, however, it seems like you've lost your package carrier. Down the street where you remember him walking, you can only see the side of a rather large parade.

Spoiler: Eiyal (click to show/hide)

Health: No news is good news
Noteworthy Items
Sword-Mage Wizard Coat
Pulwar
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle
Full-Color Map of Tucson

Irneus & Farris

"I say we make this a walk in the park. We will be less conspicuous there, and if something goes horribly, horribly wrong, collateral damage is a smaller concern. We can also most likely grab a tourist map or the like there so we'll know where we shall actually go."

Farris puts his hands in his pockets (assuming the robe has them) and whistles quietly as he follows the scout.

Irneus makes a fair point that a walk in the park sounds like a nice way to avoid conflict on a milk run mission.

Randall completely and totally ignores that very fair point and begins walking down the street, his expression strained with a sort of tired resignation mostly seen on generals in war-dramas moments before the momentous decision to postpone launching the Dimensional Rift Generators in order to give the Magic Girls another five minutes to complete their quests. It's a look that suggests he's left his life in the hands of a higher power, and all that he can do now is to persist and hope.

Of course, you'll be buggered by a kobold if you know what that higher power is in Randall's case.

[2][3]

Before either Irneus or Farris have an opportunity to follow Randall, the Jazz Harmonicists change their tune. The music blends together into something altogether more soothing, something that dulls your mind and makes the left side of the tongue twitchy.

"Hey, kids, you wanna by your own lungs? Just 25 gold pieces. Each. Per lung. No prob's if you can't pay, technicians are standing by for easy un-installation."

The voice doesn't come from any Harmonicist in particular, but seems to be generated by the some of their music.

Farris has enough money to afford both his lungs, barely, but Irneus only has enough money to afford one of his lungs.

Spoiler: Farris Kindlestone (click to show/hide)

Health: No news is good news.
Noteworthy Items
Enchanter Wizard Coat Temporary Enchantments: Temperature Control, Oxygen Generation
Copy Of: 'You and Enhancement Enchantment'
Umbrella
Enchanted Pigeon Statuette
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

Spoiler: Irneus the Merciful (click to show/hide)

Health: No news is good news
Noteworthy Items
Healer Wizard Coat
Bonesaw
Cooler
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

 

[Coolrune206]

"What, these lungs? These ones I've got? I... I own these, don't I? Do I? Do I own any of me? Or is it owned by the government? Wow, man..."

Comically missing the point, Farris wanders away from the group (and from the musicians) looking intently at his hands and wiggling his digits furiously.

[Harry Baldman]

"Damn! Gotta secure that payload!"

Check my map to see where Randall is. If that doesn't work, see if I can somehow fall back into the gravity well of this quest by climbing up to a high place and spotting him from afar.

[IcyTea31]

Confusing rambling filibuster go!

"Do I want to 'by' my lungs? No, I want to 'around' them. Your services aren't necessary, since you clearly don't even know English. Does that mean you are some of those evil immigrants they talk about? See, back in my day, people knew how to rob each other without making a single pronunciation error, like gentlemen, and a single gold piece would buy you a whole body. And don't get me started on today's youth's music taste, because..."

As Irneus gets started on today's youth's music taste, he tries to slip away back towards Randall, hopefully with the robbers deciding they'd rather let him go than have him destroy their sanity.

[Yottawhat]

This hell. Randall realized.

When that Catgirl cut my arm off, I died and went to hell. Its the only explaination.

This is my own personal tenth circle of hell. Where I've been baptized in vomit, and forced to carry the mistakes I made, as parade is cheering on my failing to be a Mananuat.

I died and went to hell.

Randall continues his unsightly waddle down the street, vaguely in the direction of the outpost.

[Draignean]

Resonance 11: Backstabbing buskers and preachy pamphlets

Randall Mixon (Not Harry)

Randall continues his unsightly waddle down the street, vaguely in the direction of the outpost.

You continue waddling down the street, and sequined dancers continue to gyrate behind you as you lead them through the streets. One foot in front of the other, you descend through your own personal hell. It's hot, sweaty, and unexpectedly filled with people in bright costumes throwing confetti at you.

Or maybe that is to be expected from hell. Still, everyone does seem rather unexpectedly happy to see you.

[3] As you continue, the steps of your journey blend together, and only a faintly recognized increase in difficulty warns you that you're beginning to go uphill. Your path is at last stopped by a giant tree trunk. The road seems to split around the tree, and a dim observation tells you that this place is probably significant. You start to move sideways to get around the tree, but the crowd around you begins shouting.

"SPEECH! SPEECH! WANDERER'S SPEECH!"

Spoiler: Randal Mixon (click to show/hide)

Health: Right Arm covered in scales
Noteworthy Items
Elementalist Wizard Coat
Mop
Bucket
Mysterious Package
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

Eiyal (Not Icy)

"Damn! Gotta secure that payload!"

Check my map to see where Randall is. If that doesn't work, see if I can somehow fall back into the gravity well of this quest by climbing up to a high place and spotting him from afar.

[4-2 (Sword-Mage)] The map is terribly bloody offended by your cursing and resolutely refused to show you where Randall is when you ask it nicely. You give it a rude hand gesture in reply, and begin scaling the first significantly tall building within easy access, which turns out to be the chopsticks on top of a sign above a two-story chinese restaurant. [5+1 (Sword-Mage)] You fly up the side of the building, leaping off plastic replica paper lanterns and dancing between the stalks of potted bamboo like some kind of feckin' ninja. The property damage is minimal, and you're able to get a good vantage point.

Randall, from what you can see, has someone managed to get lead of a parade, and has stopped in front of a big tree (way bigger than the tree in the Arbore) with a bunch of stones balanced around it, and seems to be about to give some kind of weird speech.

"It's the Wanderer's parade, uncouth heathen," your pamphlet explains without you having it ask. "It celebrates how civilized people interact with travelers from afar, commemorating the day when Tucson accepted the refugee aesthete surgeons when their Plane of existence was eaten by crabs. Not that a barbarian like yourself would understand the wealth of meaning behind such simple kindness." The pamphlet sniffs at you disdainfully.

Spoiler: Eiyal (click to show/hide)

Health: No news is good news
Noteworthy Items
Sword-Mage Wizard Coat
Pulwar
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle
Full-Color Map of Tucson

Farris (Not Yotta)

"What, these lungs? These ones I've got? I... I own these, don't I? Do I? Do I own any of me? Or is it owned by the government? Wow, man..."

Comically missing the point, Farris wanders away from the group (and from the musicians) looking intently at his hands and wiggling his digits furiously.

[1]

You sense stunned disbelief as you finish your speel. Clearly, they didn't expect that revelation of truth to be dropped on them. Though, to be fair you didn't know you had it in you either.  You turn away to go find Randall, and maybe share your new perspective with him. He seemed like he could use it.

Then one of the harmonicists shanks you.

[5-1 (One handed) vs 3-2 (turned your back)] The harmonicist is still playing, which makes it kind of impressive that he's able to keep up his tune whilst stabbing you in the lower back with steak knife. It hurts, a lot, but the thick mananaut coat prevents the knife from actually spearing your kidney.

[1 vs 1] Meanwhile, the harmonica music has no additional affect on you. This isn't because of any special fortitude, but more because your mind was to busy flipping the fuck out about the pain of the knife in your back to properly register the devil music.

Spoiler: Farris Kindlestone (click to show/hide)

Health: Deeply stabbed lower back, bleeding
Noteworthy Items
Enchanter Wizard Coat Temporary Enchantments: Temperature Control, Oxygen Generation
Copy Of: 'You and Enhancement Enchantment'
Umbrella
Enchanted Pigeon Statuette
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

Irneus (Not Cool)

Confusing rambling filibuster go!

[2]

The harmonicists seem nonplussed by the approach you and Farris take to situation. Unfortunately, that confusion doesn't actually last long enough to be of use. The harmonicists lunge, and you don't even have time to yell a warning to Farris before he takes a knife to the back. Another harmonicist charges you, his shank held high for a stab to the throat.

[2-1 (one handed) vs 3] You deftly counter the clumsy attack with a well trained mananaut block (medics need hand to hand training too), and counter with a quick jab right were it hurts- the harmonica. There's an uncomfortably sharp clack as the metal harmonica snaps back into the harmonicist's teeth, and the mugger staggers back with tears in his eyes.

[2 vs 4] The music that makes you tongue twitch doesn't seem to be getting to you as much now that you're on high alert, and you take a quick stock of the odds. There's four harmonicists, all still playing, though the one you punched is a bit out of tune. Each one has some kind of rudimentary one-handed weapon at the ready. Farris' injury is bleeding profusely, but he should be fine in the short term before blood loss sets in.

Spoiler: Irneus the Merciful (click to show/hide)

Health: No news is good news
Noteworthy Items
Healer Wizard Coat
Bonesaw
Cooler
Bluetooth Enabled Ear Beetle

 

[IronyOwl]

(("Deliver a box. That's it. That's all you have to do. Take this slightly heavy object from Point A to Point B, through a modestly sized town."
"...half our team took over a local parade while the other half got mugged for their intestines. Do we still pass? Is that a B+ maybe?"))

[Coolrune206]

Farris quickly uses magic to coat his body in electrical energy, hopefully effectively tazing his assailant (assuming he is still holding the knife). He then begins screaming incredibly loudly, augmenting his voice with magic, hoping to drown out the music.