TURN 8: THE US IS NO MOREWe shall expand Roachvania all the way down!
ONWARDS TO DWARFINESS!
Name: Mercedes
Appearance/Who are you: An ex-salarywoman
Status: Healthy
First action:Ask permission to join ROACHISTAN
"SALARY? That sounds like rich people stuff ta me, but ya ain't like them if ya ain't in one o' them vaults of theirs... tell ya what, I like yer ideas, you can stay, but if ya turn out t' be fancy-" she spat the word like it was a slur "-then yer RIGHT OUT!"
Now then, back to the work that only a crazy girl can do properly, Genetically engineer ants into the optimal construction and digging creatures in preparation for the massive spire we will build after the next nuke hits America.
We shall expand Roachvania all the way down!
ONWARDS TO DWARFINESS!
"Make doors on the way down there, tough ones, there can be things in the ground, the roaches told me."
[4] YOU HAVE DISCOVERED EXPANSIVE CAVERN UNDERGROUND! THE CAVERN HAS LOTS OF LIMONITE, MAGNETITE, NATIVE GOLD, AND A LOT OF THE VALUABLE MINERALS!
[2] YOU HAVE NO MATERIALS TO MAKE DOORS!
[1] YOU FAIL TO EVOLVE THE DNA OF THE ANTS! THEY ARE DYING WHILE DECAYING RAPIDLY, CREATING AN UNBEARABLE SMELL!
Climb onto a tree and flail around wildly, wielding the radiation as one would wield a hammerdwarf and striking all the nukes in midair.
[4] YOU CLIMB ONTO A TREE AND CREATE A GIANT HAMMER FROM RADIATION! YOU THROW IT AT THE RUSSIAN NUKES!
[4 VS 3] YOU'VE MANAGED TO DESTROY SOME OF THE NUKES, BUT THEY'RE STILL GOING ON THEIR WAY!
First action:Ask permission to join ROACHISTAN
If accepted start building underground mushrooms farms.
If not search for explosives.
YOU ARE NOW A SUBJECT OF ROACHISTAN!
[3] YOU TRY TO GROW SOME PLUMP HELMETS, BUT IT SEEMS THE SOIL IS TOO POOR HERE, EVEN FOR SUCH FAST-GROWING PLANTS LIKE PLUMP HELMET MUSHROOMS.
Name: Larc
Appearance/Who are you: A sane and very clean business woman who owns her own estate.
Status: Healthy. Proper.
First action: Find a way to seal all of us in the basement, for our own protection.
[3] YOU LOCK THE DOOR OF THE BASEMENTS, THOUGH YOU'RE NOT SURE IF THEY ARE GOOD AT PROTECTING AGAINST RADIATION!
Action : Use cynical British humour to diffuse situation. Also warn trespassers in basement of commiting trespass
[3] YOU SAY, "What's the definition of a pessimist? The pessimist is a well-informed optimist!" YOU'RE NOT SURE IF THE JOKE DIFFUSED THE SITUATION OR NOT!
Just to be safe when the nuke falls go to the best cover i can find
[3] YOU HIDE IN A CHURCH! NOT SURE IF THE CHURCH IS A GOOD COVER FOR THE NUKES, BUT IT MIGHT WORK!
SEARCH BASEMENT FOR WEAPONS!
SEARCH BASEMENT FOR SNACKS!
[3, JOHN SMITH] YOU FIND A FIVE-SEVEN PISTOL WITHOUT ANY AMMO TO IT
[1, YOINK] YOU FIND A BAG WITH POTATO CHIPS! WHEN YOU TRY TO TASTE THEM, YOU FEEL THAT THEY ARE INSANELY SOLID AND HARD TO CHEW ON!
[2] YOU HAVE ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED IT! YOU'RE CHOKING!
See if I can leave the cave with out getting irradiated.
[4] YES, YOU CAN! THE AREA AROUND YOU SEEMS TO HAVE LITTLE TO NO RADIATION, WHICH IS WEIRD!
NATIONS/ORGANIZATIONS/NPCS TURN
EUROPEAN THEATER:
[4] POORLY-MAINTAINED EUROPEAN NUKES DON'T EXPLODE THIS TURN!
1 TURN TO HIT MOSCOW, RUSSIA![6 VS 4] NATO CONQUERS KRASNODAR AND ROSTOV REGIONS!
[1] RUSSIA TRIES TO RETALIATE WITH HER LAST NUKES LEFT IN THE SILOS! THEY EXPLODE, CAUSING MULTIPLE NUCLEAR EXPLOSIONS ACROSS RUSSIAN EASTERN EUROPE, URAL AND WESTERN SIBERIA!
RUSSIA IS PRETTY LIKELY TO CAPITULATE! AMERICA HAS SURRENDERED! THERE'S NO ONE TO KEEP THE ORDER IN THE FORMER USA! RUSSIA GETS ALASKA AS A CONQUERED TERRITORY!RUSSIAN NUKES HIT MISSISSIPPI! LET'S SEE IF THE BASEMENT DOORS WILL PROTECT THE PLAYERS FROM RADIATION!
[6 VS 1] THE DOORS HAVE PROTECTED THE INHABITANTS QUITE WELL.
[6] BILLY JOBOB HIDES IN THE CAVE ONCE AGAIN. BUT HE DISCOVERS HE'S NOT ALONE: A BLACK BEAR WAKES UP AND ROARS AT THE BILLY JOBOB!
KOREAN UNIFICATION WAR:
[1 VS 2] AFTER SOME SMALL SKIRMISHES NEAR THE PYONGYANG, SOUTH KOREANS ARE RETREATING!
[2] NORTH KOREA FAILED TO LAUNCH A NUCLEAR STRIKE DUE TO POWER PROBLEMS!
[4] THE MAN WITH A GUN OPENS A CRATE AND SHOWS YOU A HUNTING SHOTGUN WITH SOME AMMO FOR IT!
[5] ROSEHEART FINDS A LOT OF CANNED FISH IN THE BASEMENT.
THE BEAR ROARS AT THE BILLY JOBOB MENACINGLY, AS IF HE SAYS, "IF YOU DON'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW, I'LL RIP YOUR GUTS WITH MY TEETH OFF!"