(I sort of feel like I didn't make this game's combat lethal enough. Ah well, it is what it is. Sorry for delay, was busy. Wizards will be up soon, followed by Wiki Wars.)
"GET IN MAH BELLY!"
Vuvuzelas are a debuff for Kirby? Not for long! Consume the vuvuzela so that I might gain its power. Then corrupt that power with my cute soft pinkness and use it to weaken JOHN MADDEN.
4: YOU RUSH TO STANDS. START SUCK VUVUZELAS OUT PEOPLE HANDS. SUCCESSFUL. MIKE POWER OBTAINED.
NOISE LEVEL REDUCED FROM "OH GOD WHY DO WE DESERVE THIS TORMENT!" TO "YOU ABSOLUTE MADMAN!"
"What devilry is this?! The demon cannot be harmed! Blessed Virgin, guide my sword, so I can striketh thy enemy down!"
Ask The Blessed Virgin to, well, bless my sword.
Attack the demon. Again.
1-1: (Good lord, rng is not being kind to you.)
YOU PRAY FOR THE BLESSED VIRGIN TO GUIDE YOUR SWORD. VIRGIN NOT VERY GOOD AT WARFARE, BUT TRY ANYWAY.
5-1v5: YOU MAKE A PERFECT STRIKE, BUT FEEL OTHERWORLDLY FORCE TRY TO "CORRECT" SWING. MADDEN SURPRISED BY ATTACK, BUT NARROWLY SIDESTEP SWORD.
RAM VEHICLE INTO RED'S MASCOT. SHARING DRINK IS LAZY CHEERING. ONLY BLOOD APPEASE THE CHEER GODS. RECRUIT CAN REST FOR NOW.
RECRUIT BEGIN TO REST.
1: YOU TRY TO TAKE CONTROL OF VEHICLE. OH NO, THIS A MANUAL. YOU ONLY DRIVE AUTOMATIC. YOU SHIFT GEARS BADLY AND DAMAGE TRANSMISSION. CAN'T CONTROL VEHICLE FOR A BIT, SO YOUR RAM GO WIDE.
Embrace the vevuzalas, attack crowd members with upclose airhorns to steal their vevuzelas, then transform stolen vevuzelas into airhorns
4: YOU RUN TOWARD CROWD, START ASSAILING THEM WITH AIRHORN. THEY DROP HORNS.
3-1: SOME OF THEM BECOME AIR HORNS. TRANSFORMED HORNS STILL PLAYING ON THEIR OWN. NOISE LEVEL REDUCED TO "OH GOD NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAAGH!"
STOP PINNING MALLOS AND BEG THE WIND GODS TO STOP AIGRE FALL IN A WAY DOESNT HARM HIM.
5-1: YOU PRAY TO WIND GODS FOR BOON. MASSIVE GUST OF WIND LAUNCHES AIGRE EXCALIBUR 10 YARDS. HE MAKE SAFE LANDING SUPPORTED BY WIND.
Run for GLORY, VICTORY, TOUCHDOWNS, AND BLESSED VIRGIN EMPERORS!!!
2-1+1: YOU STUMBLE AS YOU TOUCH GROUND, AND DROP BALL. NOOO!
KEEP FIRING AT AGIER TILL HE IS DEAD, MAGGOT!
5: YOU UNJAM LAUNCHER.
2: YOU MISS ROCKET.
1: LAUNCHER JAM AGAIN. HOW THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
4: ROCKET PROPEL YOU TOWARDS AIGRE SOMEWHAT AT LEAST. LAUNCHER EMPTY NOW.
TEAM: 501st Legion
ROLE: Stormtrooper Sniper
FIRST ACTION: Join as a stormtrooper, start killing things indiscriminately.
YOU STUMBLE OUT OF PORTAL ON TO FIELD. WHAT AN ODD PLACE TO BE. EXAMINE BLASTER RIFLE. IT SEEM USABLE.
RANDOM TARGET=CROC: YOU SEE WHAT APPEARS TO BE A HOLY MAN SWINGING A SWORD AROUND. YOU INSTINCTIVELY THINK "ELIMINATE THE JEDI" AND FIRE OFF A ROUND.
4v2-1: YOUR GUN STRIKE HIS RIGHT LEG. EXCELLENT START.
TEAM: I'm not sure.
ROLE: Ambulance
FIRST ACTION: Reveal that I was the ambulance the whole time, swerve around until all the people are out.
4(WELL THEN.): YOU AMBULANCE. FEEL GEARS LOCKED UP DUE TO OPERATOR INCOMPETENCE. YOU ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL. NOISE NOT AFFECT YOU. COULD TURN SIREN ON IF WANTED TO MAKE IT WORSE.
6: GEARS UNJAMMED. RAMMING SPEED GO!
6v6: YOU CHARGE TOWARD AIGRE EXCALIBUR, BUT HE DO SOME WEIRD NINJA KICK AND VAULT OVER YOU. THESE FOOTBALLERS EH? HE WOUNDED LEGS FROM STRAIN.
JUMP OFF BULL AND RAM AIGRE EXCALIBUR THROUGH HIS OWN GOAL POSTS.
5-1v6-1: YOU LAUNCH OFF BULL AND TRY TO RAM AIGRE THROUGH OWN HIS GOAL POSTS. THIS DIFFICULT, AS THOSE POSTS 70 YARDS AWAY. YOU TACKLE INSTEAD, BUT HE SIDESTEP AIR ASSAULT.
RECOMMEND TO JOHN MADDEN THAT HE SHOULD CREATE SOME POISONOUS VUVUZELAS (SLEEPING POISON) TO COUNTER THIS BEFORE KIRBY CAN ACT. FAILING THAT, JUST KILLING STUFF IS GOOD.
ATHATH ADVISEMENT 5: MADDEN TAKE THIS INTO CONSIDERATION.
6: HORNS IN CROWD BECOME POISONOUS IF EATEN. THIS ACTUALLY AFFECT NORMAL USE. CROWD START TO GET A LITTLE DROWSY.
6v2-1: MADDEN NOTICE CROC HAS "ATHLETE'S FOOT" AND BLEEDING TERRIBLY. HE PRESCRIBE TOUGH ACTIN TINACTIN! HE THROW BOTTLE AT LEG! BOOM! LEG EXPLODE INTO CLOUD OF GORE! ATHLETE'S FOOT CURED.
CHAAARGE!
3v3-1: YOU CHARGE AIGRE. KNOCK HIM OVER WITH BRUTE FORCE. IT NOT DO MUCH DAMAGE.
RED TEAM:
Mallos:
ROLE: QUARTERBACK
STATUS: BODY A BIT SORE. LESS EXHAUSTED.
crazyabe:
ROLE: TACKLE
STATUS: RIGHT ARM MODERATELY GOUGED.
FallacyOfUrist:
ROLE: MASCOT: RED BULL
STATUS: RAMMING ENEMY INTO AIR.
Dustan Hache:
ROLE: SOLDIER
STATUS: EMPTY ROCKET LAUNCHER.
BLUE TEAM:
ziizo:
ROLE: SAFETY
STATUS: HELMET ON GROUND.
Aigre Excalibur:
ROLE: Cornerback
STATUS: SAFE LANDING. BRUISED UPPER BODY. WOUNDED LEGS.
Failbird105:
ROLE: SKAVEN STORMVERMIN
STATUS: ARMS SLICED OPEN. ARMOR SOMEWHAT DAMAGED. SAFE UNDERGROUND.
Secheral:
ROLE: CHEERLEADER
STATUS: TAUGHT ASSISTANT(PROVIDES POSSIBLE ROLL BOOST FOR TEAM.) HIJACKING AMBULANCE. DIPLOMAT.
OTHER/FREE AGENTS:
Glass:
TEAM:
PURPLEROLE: CONFUSED SOCCER PLAYER
STATUS: A LITTLE CONCUSSED.
ATHATH:
TEAM:
GREENROLE: ELDER GOD JOHN MADDEN
STATUS: ACOLYTE OF FOOTBALL.
Paxiecrunchle:
TEAM:
TURQUOISEROLE: DRUNK REFEREE
STATUS: BLEEDING FROM MOUTH. VOMITING. DISTRESSED BY VUVUZELAS.
Egan_BW:
TEAM:
PINKROLE: KIRBY
STATUS: INJURED. MIKE POWER.
CrocAndBearLover:
TEAM: TEMPLARS
ROLE: COMMAMDER OF NOBLE KNIGHTS OF TEMPLAR ORDER, CHARLES III LE CHAMPAGNE
STATUS: RIGHT LEG EXPLODED.
Madman198237:
TEAM: 501ST LEGION
ROLE: STORMTROOPER SNIPER
STATUS: EXECUTING ORDER 66.
King Zultan
TEAM: NOT SURE
ROLE: AMBULANCE
STATUS: ATTACKING PLAYERS.
GENERAL INFORMATION:
SCORES:
RED: 0
BLUE: 0
PURPLE: 0
GREEN: 0
TURQUOISE: 0
PINK: 0
TEMPLARS: 0
501ST LEGION: 0
NOT SURE: 0
BALL STATUS: 35 YARDS FROM RED END ZONE. ON GROUND.
RTD STADIUM:
BRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!SEATS OCCUPIED: 12,000/100,000
VIEWERS WATCHING LIVE: 11,000 PEOPLE.
SOCIAL MEDIA FOLLOWERS: 23,000 PEOPLE.
LOSING VIEWERS FROM NOISE. PROGRESS WAS MADE THOUGH, RIGHT?
FOOTBALL FACT OF THE TURN: FOOTBALL TEAMS USUALLY HAVE MORE THAN 1 PERSON ON THEM. IN FACT, UP TO 11 ACTIVE ON FIELD AT ONCE. CONSIDER JOINING EXISTING TEAM PLEASE. ALTERNATIVELY, COULD ALSO CHANGE TEAM MAYBE? DIFFICULT TO SAY.
(Honestly the fact that this doesn't have a win condition bugs me. At any rate, if I get tired of running it I'll put the game in overtime. That will give everyone a chance to wrap things up. That should still be a ways off though.)