((And I just realized I made a gender mistake in previous turns. Well, I'll fix later))
"Fuck you Chuck, you're not a god. You're a mediocre american actor, who never did something actually strenuous in his life."
Fuck your meme magic. I disbelieve it.
Take Vix's loot off the ground, then punch him IN THE THROAT. Hope Chuck follows my lead.
"You're just a desperate guy, trying anything you can to not die."
[Vix Disbelief (Will) vs Chuck Meme (Auto):
6+
2+
1=9 vs
8] [Meme Status VIII reduced to Global Bonus III]
[Vix Initiative (Agility) vs Kevin Initiative (Agility) vs Chuck Initiative (Agility):
2-
1+
2=3 vs
6-
1+
1=6 vs
4+-
3=7]
In the eyes of Vix, Chuck Norris seems to flicker a little. Some dust blows through the air, getting in Chuck's eye, and a tear wells out. Chuck wipes his eye in shock, then enraged, tries to roundhouse kick Vix.
[Chuck Attack (Strength) vs Vix Dodge (Agility):
5+
3=8 vs
6-
1+
2=7] [Vix Defense (Endurance):
2+
3=5]
Chuck doesn't manage to get his leg all the way up for a proper roundhouse. Instead his foot hits Vix's legs, sweeping her footing from underneath her.
Kevin meanwhile picks up the dropped bottle and his own dropped radio. He feels his hand heat up while holding the bottle in his other hand, so he stows his radio in his trousers.
[Kevin Attack (Strength) vs Vix Dodge (Agility):
5+
2+
4=11 vs
4-
1+
2=5] [Vix Defense (Endurance):
1+
3=4]
Kevin punches down, at Vix's throat. The superheated fist meets Vix's face, bruising the meat and breaking her jaw, nose, and her topmost vertebrea. Vix coughs in shock, eyes wide, a bit of blood shooting from her mouth, before her lungs are paralyzed. She tries to breath, but can't with blood pooling in her nose and mouth. She passes quickly after that.
Vix (played by Egan BW) is dead[Kevin Loot (Luck):
2+
1=3]
A Rift opens up and a baby crawls out of it. It's wearing small baby-sized gauntlents on it's hands, which cover the hands completely and resemble the barrel of a weapon, except the front of the barrel is a red crystal lense. There are also bayonettes on the barrels, though they are very blunt and have cartoon fuses on the ends.
Blitzdungeoneer, you may choose any one non-boss card to add to your deck.
Run back to Zynox and tackle him to the ground to aid the womsunorc that's eating him. Try to wake up the unconcious one(wso1) with my voice when I get there.
"C'mon boy, you can get up! Attack that guy with the ball!"
I get to pick any non-boss card? If so, I choose to add The Pegasus to my deck. And Zynox will ignore the womsunorc and smash Felix's head in with his ball.
"Ha, your pets are nothing but a nuisance to me, and it shows how weak you are that you need to outnumber me to take me on."
Do the look at me dance again! Person(or whoever his character is) will look at my plant!
[Felix Initiative (Agility) vs Zynox Initiative (Agility) vs James Initiative (Agility):
4+
3=7 vs
4+
2=6 vs
1+
2=3]
[Womsunorc#1 Initiative (Agility) and Womsunorc#3 Initiative (Agility):
5-
2=3 and
5-
2=3]
[Felix Tackle (Strength) and Womsunorc#3 Pin (Strength) vs Zynox Struggle (Strength):
4-
1-
2=1 and
6+
3=9 vs
1+
1+
3=5]
Felix turns around rather than stick with the guy with the potted plant, and runs back to Zynox. Zynox is trying to stand up from under Felix's fat wombat-ish creature, but failing to do so. To weight him down more, Felix jumps on his back, and slides right off.
The other remaining creature, waking up, hears it's master shouting as he throws himself onto his enemy, and shakes itself off, before running as fast as it can to it's master's aid, but isn't quite fast enough to stop Zynox from trying to attack Felix.
[Zynox Attack (Strength) vs Felix Dodge (Agility):
1+
1+
3-
2=3 vs
1+
3=4]
Zynox lifts his Tungsten Basketball up with one hand, and smashes it down where Felix is... but Felix rolls out of the way, feeling the wind from the strike blow on his back.
[James Dance (Agility):
6+-
2=8]
[Zynox, Felix, WSO1, WSO2 Ignorance (Will):
2 and
2 and
4-
1=3 and
5-
1=4]
[Damage (Auto): Auto succeed, Auto succeed, Auto fail, Auto fail]
James dances his way over to where the struggly is taking place, shouting and tapping and making as much noise as possible. It's finally enough to annoy Felix, and he and Zynox look up to tell him to shut up.
Neither of them can comprehend what they see. It is James, it is a fetus, it is themselves, it is the ground, the sky, it is their home, it is war, peace, rape, and tenderness, it is something that just needs to be loved. Felix's creatures see it too, but all they see are a plant with teeth - they are too simple to comprehend any part of it.
They both cry out, and if they hadn't both already been lying on the ground, they would have fallen to their knees, then to their faces. As it is, their noses start to bleed, and they hear voices sobbing and crying and a few screaming. They are too occupied with holding onto their noggins to realize that the voices that are screaming are themselves.
"If I asked you to change the fates of a simple, unspecific action, would that be possible?
Say, for example, if I said 'Make the consequence of me attacking a human be that the human I am attacking would die'? Or would I rather have to say 'Make it so that if I were to attack a human female in a forest clearing with a knife, the knife would sever her head from her body'? What level of specificity would I need?"
Dismount and test the depth of the water. If it's wading height, then feel around in the water for aquatic life; is the lake entirely dead? Or is it occupied by alien life, or more earthly life?
"Well, that is a likely consequence, but a very broad cause. Even your second cause and consequence are more general than my usual fare. But of course, I deal in consequences of all types, and I could sell you either of those."
You climb down a blanket on the elephant's side and into the water. The water comes up to your neck here near but not quite at the edge, and is very cold as pond water tends to be. You can feel some squishy water plants with your toes, though the plants are orange much like the grass, and make your feet feel very tingly. It's the worst pins and needles you've felt in your life.
You also see something darting about in the water, a tiny thing, no bigger than one of your fingernails. The water is murky enough that you can't see it precisely, but you get the idea that it's this world's version of a minnow.
The elephant continues, "Typically, I make sales along the lines of 'When I'm in the woods at the old spralm tree with my initials carved into it talking with the girl I like with red hair and I ask if she would like dinner with me the next weekend, she will say yes.' This is doable, but like all sales of consequence, the customer must then ensure his cause happens. Such a specific consequence would cost the customer... well, I made that sale about 50 years ago, so let me remember what I charged that young man... Oh, yes, he had to wash me and my blankets down with a toothbrush. I think it worked out for him, and he got married to that girl later"
Turning his head to look at you, the elephant remarks, "I don't think you could afford the first one you said. An attack could be anything, I would have to sell you so much consequence to make that happen that I would have to recieve your immortal soul and the souls of 99 others. If I narrowed down the second request of yours to this forest, I could do it for your voice, left arm, and the trip here."
Wilswon S. Strouti (Played by OceanSoul) has been dropped off in the southwest[Wilson Loot (Luck):
6+
2+
2=10]
Before Wilswon exits the walking building, a rift opens and gives him a steel scepter. The scepter is entwined with two obsidian hooded snakes, angular in design, which move and hiss on their own. They seem to be made up of large overlapping chunks, letting them slither around the scepter. The scepter is fitted with a red cresent-moon shaped gem at the top, which resembles a double-sided axe. The gem is warm to the touch, but the steel is cool.
New HandsKadzar Pegasus, Housecat, Worm, Bear, Lion
(+3 Str, +1 End, +1 Agi, +1 Lck, -2 Dex, magical flight)
(GM's note: Lucky, got the new card first turn you had it)
Person Bald Eagle, Chimpanzee, Hog, Housecat, Hog
(+3 End, +3 Lck, +2 Wll, -1 Str, -1 Agi, -1 Dex)
FallacyofUrist Crow, Hog, Spider, Housecat, Bear
(+3 Dex, +2 Wll, +1 End, -1 Agi)
Coolrune206 Hog, Hog, Giraffe, Eel, Worm
(+2 End, +2 Wll, +1 Lck, +1 Str, -2 Agi)
BlitzDungeoneer Horse, Chimpanzee, Bear, Worm, Bear
(+2 Str, +1 Wll, +1 Dex, +1 End, -1 Agi, Card instead of Loot)
OceanSoul Bear, Chimpanzee, Dog, Dog, Horse
(+2 Lck, +2 Agi, +1 Wll, +1 End, -1 Str)
Author
Topic: Looter's Delight, Flabort Edition: FoU up to 2 player kills! (Read 16300 times)