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Should we leave planet Earth

No it is really <comfy> here :^)
Sorry what was the question?
The galaxy is a hoax, nothing exists outside of planet earth.
Why don't scientists do something useful like fix the economy instead?
We don't need to go to vacuum in space, we have vacuums here.

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Author Topic: Stellaris: Never leave Earth  (Read 90606 times)

Teneb

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #15 on: August 09, 2017, 08:28:07 pm »

Obviously the aliens exist, as evidenced by the acceptance of the space cows. They are, of course, bluffing in that they are able to do anything to Earth.

Economic sanctions will surely put them in their place, reducing all imports and exports from them from the current 0 to the humbling amount of 0.
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RulerOfNothing

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #16 on: August 10, 2017, 05:03:50 am »

Well, since the aliens are spacefaring it would be quite easy for them to bombard Earth into gravel. Since they have not done so we can safely assume that either they cannot or will not - maybe the whole 'Earth will burn!' thing is just a translation error.

Actually, if these aliens hate us so much, why would they bother to translate our language (which they would have had to have done given that we didn't bother translating their language)?
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Teneb

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #17 on: August 10, 2017, 08:02:38 am »

Well, since the aliens are spacefaring it would be quite easy for them to bombard Earth into gravel. Since they have not done so we can safely assume that either they cannot or will not - maybe the whole 'Earth will burn!' thing is just a translation error.

Actually, if these aliens hate us so much, why would they bother to translate our language (which they would have had to have done given that we didn't bother translating their language)?
It's just old-fashioned saber rattling. They are just trying to look tough because of internal issues.

Meanwhile, most humans can't find Iblyria on a map.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #18 on: August 13, 2017, 05:56:29 pm »

[Updates going to be slower next few days, am making travel preps irl]

Dorsidwarf

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #19 on: August 13, 2017, 07:35:45 pm »

This is my new favorite aar. I look forward to hearing more of your prophetic visions of the utopian future, lw
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hostergaard

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #20 on: August 20, 2017, 03:59:03 am »

You are a madman. Thought you would play tall. Thought you only have a shipyard on earth and dominate from there.  Thought you would choose a small galaxy to make it somewhat possible. But no. Giant galaxy. No shipyard. No ships. No defenses. Grabbing some popcorn cause this gonna be !!FUN!!.

Taking all bets on whatever he is gonna get mulched by space faring plants or eaten by extra-galactic invaders first (Tough, I guess technological uplift makes you immune to quite a few of these problems)!
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Ghazkull

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #21 on: August 28, 2017, 12:51:14 pm »

Clearly the answer is to achieve psionic transcendence and then deploying extra-dimensional capital ship to defend earth. Thus you technically didn't leave earth and you technically didn't build a fleet.
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EuchreJack

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #22 on: August 28, 2017, 09:26:40 pm »

Clearly the answer is to achieve psionic transcendence and then deploying extra-dimensional capital ship to defend earth. Thus you technically didn't leave earth and you technically didn't build a fleet.

Close, although the truth is to just call Armok to remake the world.  Maybe achieve victory as the last sentient beings before the Galaxy goes dark.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #23 on: September 01, 2017, 05:17:23 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is a pretty good idea actually, and I was considering for the transcendence that it'd be a choice between either going psionic or going genetic. Although going synthetic gives mankind a kind of immortality there's no happiness bonus from it and without an expansion of planet space it seems apparent that Earth would be stuck in a permanent state of stasis operated by the last generation of personalities alive on Earth.
That leaves psionics, who get really happy and stop arguing with one another to pursue extradimensional memes, or genetics with communal and fertile who turn Earth into a never-ending rave. Psionics would have the advantage of being able to summon the giant space cloud to defend earth, with the added bonus of not breaking the no defence budget rule.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Quote from: Earth News Realmeshwork
Capital, Earth (ENR), Mandasura has accused the United Nations of "trying to drive the situation of the Solar System to the brink of galactic war" after the UN Friendship Council unanimously blocked all friend requests and imposed the silent treatment on Saturday in response to Mandasura's long-range communications of threatening intent.
The sanction measures aim to make it harder for Mandasura to make money across the galaxy. They target Mandasura's primary exports -- including gamma radiation, Iblyrian photons and cosmic shitposts -- and attempt to cut off its additional revenue streams by targeting some of its firms and joint ventures with potential Mandasuran accomplices that "virtually literally very literally" exist on Earth, said a UN spokesperson at the kraftbrew storehome.
The forceful rhetoric, made in a statement released via the country's permanent mission to the Mandasurans on Monday, prompted a response from the Mandasura condemning the sanctions in the "strongest terms" declaring the resolution a "wanton infringement upon the sovereignty of the Empire, Iblyrian photons must be free to grace the cosmos with their light."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Quote from: Translation of Mandasura transmission, courtesy of McDonald's Institute of Socialist Sciences
Quake in fun, exotic chum, for your future awaits! The Mandasura Banterers will clean the galaxy for every misguided developing civilization that polluted the environment due to prevailing psychosociocosmical conditions. Earth is #lit!

Quote
It's just old-fashioned saber rattling. They are just trying to look tough because of internal issues.
Meanwhile, most humans can't find Iblyria on a map.
*is too busy streaming mindmemes straight into my brain to care*
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Thanks m8y, though I'm hoping no earthlings get eaten or mulched, that tends to lower happiness

This is my new favorite aar. I look forward to hearing more of your prophetic visions of the utopian future, lw
Speaking of, an update on the really slow updates - getting computer repaired, proper updates should resume at Monday or Tuesday latest!

blueturtle1134

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #24 on: September 01, 2017, 08:01:41 pm »

Having read some of Loud's previous exploits (Demonic raven swarms, turning necromancy into a meat factory, ruling Westeros with Serbians) I'm really excited to find out where this goes.

I'd recommend staying put until someone bombards Earth, then build a single spaceport and go at them with everything you've got. Then scuttle the spaceport and repeat.

(edit)

OH SHOOT NECRO!
« Last Edit: September 03, 2017, 02:07:51 pm by blueturtle1134 »
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Marmaduke

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #25 on: September 06, 2017, 03:09:34 am »

What happens next?  :)
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #26 on: September 15, 2017, 11:58:38 am »


2258:06:19: Research into human cloning vats are completed. Petitions raised the UN to implement this technology for the good of humanitykind and planetological conditions garner in total 54 billion idents, leading some to believe that many of the petitions were ironically hacked for psychosocioecosexual reasons, most notably with the Vatican Node providing 3,576,203 idents despite only being populated by 1 droid-elect. The proposals included:
  • Having Earth be defended by legions of lock-step disciplined clones supported by auxiliary clone commandos raised from birth to be adept soldiers who would between them, form a hammer and spike against all villainous foliage.
  • Having the UN use the cloning technology to end genetic chauvinism by assigning triofam parents or carers children instead of traditional reproduction, thereby ensuring equality through the Barnell formula.
  • Having an island full of clones tricked into believing they were living in a post-apocalyptic earth wherein they would be reintroduced to the recolonization effort by lottery, when in actuality the rest of the world was running on utopian economics and every clone who won the lottery was actually having their organs harvested for the sake of prolonging the longevity of their host and sponsor DNA's life.
  • Bringing extinct marine predators back to life and unleashing them upon the ocean in a massive aquarium that would be affordable in couplebundles, with a multi-tiered media campaign selling Triassic Aquapark as fun for all the humanity
  • Cloning human protein as a vegan friendly alternative to animal or plant harvested proteins for use in delicate consumption.


The UN responded that regrettably, none of these policies could be implemented feasibly for the foreseeable future, despite the equal validity of all opinions.

2259:09:30: President Charles Paquette sees off all rivals and is re-elected as President of the United Nations. Critics questioned whether he fulfilled any of his campaign promises; voters however did not particularly care, with approval ratings ranging from lows of 85% to highs of 95%. The Paquette administration was in his bold words delivering on the most important promise:
The Road to Utopia.

2266:11:12: Dr. Antonella Torres heads a massive socioplaneconimic research project into radically rethinking how Earth was governed. Thus begins research into the Social Capital-Complex, which is quickly dubbed by undergound shitposters as the Empire Capital-Complex. This image spreads virally amongst the circulatory system of the dataways and before long, the UN is rocking Imperial Sex Appeal selling t-shirts and booty shorts at every culture store.

2267:11:13: HorizonSky unveils that the research and development of the Earth Planetary Dench Field would be ready for implementation upon the United Nation's advice, and that pre-pre-order subscription passes would be open for acquisition.

2269:03:12: Charles Paquette calls for a review of Earth's defence forces. While proposals to have Earth's Five Continent Forces hunker down in neo-concrete fortifications durable enough to weather orbital bombardment and fashionable enough to make fans of classical concrete brutalism from the dark ages of the 20th century giddy with excitement, the plans are approved only to be implemented upon UN advisal, and not immediacy. While this disappointed much of the Five Continent Force's generals, they were pleased by the appointment of Miriam Hussein as Earth's first Ultimate Commander.

2269:06:09: Construction of the Planetary Dench Field begin. Terms and conditions regarding the use of the Planetary Dench Field apply. HorizonSky reserves the right to terminate the Planetary Dench Field for any users found tampering, reverse-engineering or downloading the Planetary Dench Field without any prior notification to the user. By living in a protected zone covered by the Planetary Dench Field you agree to these terms and conditions. Planetary Dench Field has been proven as an effective deterrent against meteorites and orbital missiles 50% of the time under lab conditions. Results may vary depending upon cosmic conditions. HorizonSky accepts no legal liability should extinction occur as a result of using HorizonSky products. Read the product manual for further information.

2269:12:24: Charles Paquette re-elected again, promising further development of Earth's advanced laboratory facilities, administrative complexes and defensive structures. In order to assist future scientific and governmental efforts, he authorizes research into true sentient artificial intelligence.

2272:06:16: Mankind's traditions of discovery are joined by newfound traditions of prosperity, with the full potential of Earth's financial capabilities beginning to be envisioned, and its employees already striving to make such visions into reality.

2275:06:08: The United Nations government undergoes radical reform of a kind not seen in many years; the reforms mainly centre around environmentalism and efficient industry; as a result the effective industrial output of RobotNation increases 20% despite no increase in activity or burden on the environment.

2276:09:06: Increases in productivity allow mankind to complete the Empire Capital-Complex on Earth ahead of schedule.

2277:12:05: Dr. Aarohi Varma, one of the UN's head scientists, becomes President-Elect Aarohi Varma. Thus ends the Paquette Administration, one of Earth's longest reigning Presidents.

2279:02:06: President Aarohi Varma announces to the world, that as of this day, the Road to Utopia has reached its destination. With the help of sentient administrative artificial intelligence, the cosmic efficiency of the Social-Capital Complex and its myriad hordes of elite bureaucrats and technocratic veterans, the sheer output of the droids of RobotNation, mankind enters the age of unlimited prosperity.

Teneb

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #27 on: September 15, 2017, 12:18:01 pm »

But... I wanted my ancient sea predators!
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #28 on: September 15, 2017, 03:57:46 pm »

But... I wanted my ancient sea predators!
Just download the holosquids DLC for Farming Simulator MXVI on the VRNone. It's not as good as having ancient sea predators roam the Earth's oceans again but it's the next best thing

IronyOwl

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #29 on: September 16, 2017, 08:18:06 pm »

I want to comment but I have no words. Should have sent a poet.
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