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Author Topic: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 9: Still Breathing]  (Read 10490 times)

TCM

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #75 on: August 25, 2017, 12:06:24 am »

Round 6: The New Army
Time: Morning

NAV ignites one of the bundles of TNT explosives he's holding, and throws the potent package at Person's posse with a pitcher precision. [10+2 VS. 7] "Come, get back on!" Yells the Watchman as bends over to help Person back up onto the horse. Just as the seductresses reaches for the aid of her ally, a bundle of lit dynamite falls between them. There is a flash of light and then an eruption, followed by silence. Once Person recovers her sight, she sees that she is on her back, and several feet away, the bloody bits of what was once a horse is now littering the ground, splattered across the earth like a Pollock painting. Nearby lays the coughing form of the Watchman; it's impossible to tell how much of the blood on him is the horse or is own, but he doesn't look good at all. He struggles to sit up, and now Person can see that his right eye is gone, and the area in his face beneath it looks as though he were beaten by a hammer many times. Closer to Person is a section of a severed leg, from the knee down, that bears a striking resemblance to her own right leg. Uh oh.

CrocAndBearLover rolls through the town a steady pace into the marketplace. The merchants all stare at the vehicle with a mix of awe and confusion, and the passing shoppers all give her a wide berth to pass through, intimated by the bike's size and engine. Croc stops the bike when she spots KJ down her same path. Then revs the bike up and goes flying down the straightaway between the booths, accelerating rapidly. [8+2 VS. 9] Even in his wounded state, KJ reacts quickly enough to the motorcycle gunning towards him, and dives into one of the nearby booths. He takes a bump on the knee as the bike passes him, but no vehicular damage. The pottery merchant, owner of the said booth, is not happy with him, "What in God's name are you doing?! You could have destroyed one of my wares!"

"Excellent." Now that Fallacy has repelled his canine attackers, he is free to take his time in stripping his pinecones of their seeds. Within minutes, he has a grand total of 51 Pinecone Seeds, a sheer excess of dendrologist possibilities. He places all of the seeds into his pocket.

Person pushes herself up and brushes the dust off of her face as she surveys the scene. Taking in the destruction, she focuses in on NAV, the bringer of this turmoil. She lays down on her stomach, going prone, the only tactical position she can properly attain with one leg. [2-2 VS. 10] Between the combination of bloodloss and shock, Person's grip on the gun falters and she ends up shooting in the direction of the Watchman! [8 VS. 5-5] One of the bullets hits the Watchman an inch above his missing eye and his head jerks backwards, falling onto the desecrated ground. NAV wastes no time on the sentimental tragedy of the misfire and points his M1 at Person. [5+2 VS. 7-4] She shoots her in the side of the lower back, opening up the left kidney. Person, bleeding heavily from several major wounds, is definitely in peril.

Darkgamer explains to the Menshevik why they can't immediately begin their campaign, "We can't help these people yet, we would need to take over the country and to do that we would need an army. Besides the statue is a good luck charm."
The Menshevik rolls his eyes, "You want to build an entire army to launch a coup? Now you're starting to sound like that crazy Lenin. But you're the boss, let's go do whatever we have to."
Dark is lead by the bread merchant into a nearby building that a simple sign designates as 'BAKERY'. Inside is a large open room filled with baskets and displays containing rolls, loafs, pastries and other bread-based food offerings. Once the breadwoman is given a single silver coin as payment, she opens up the wide oven behind the counter and places several bowls of spices nearby to assist Dark, who launches into his baking form. [Gingerbread Cooking: 8+2] The Viking's savant cooking skill comes to light as he not only seasons the bread with lightning speed, but is also able to sever the bread into human-shapes with a brain surgeon's precision (he even makes sure to leave in two small holes and one horizontal cut for the eyes and mouth). The baker himself comes downstairs in the bakery and nearly throws his hat off, "By God...I am thankful you are only visiting, or I would see you as a threat to my enterprise!" He places three large trays into the oven, and minutes later he pulls out over a hundred tiny gingerbread men.
Lacking his own natural magical powers, he uses a surrogate; he takes out the Stolen Ganesh Idol and focuses his willpower into it. The Idol's eyes grow red and it begins vibrating violently. A faint red aura surrounds the oven, and then dissipates. After that's done, the Gingerbread Men spring to life, causing the bread-selling couple to begin screaming; the Menshevik just watches in shock. The animated treats all work in orderly lines towards Darkgamer, a single man taking the lead. "We are the Gingerbread Men, and we exist to serve Master." It kneels, and the other 149 gingerbreads follow suit.
Darkgamer is suddenly overcome with a paranoid feeling, and everything around him becomes blurry. Everything except for a shadowy figure in front of him, a humanoid shape wearing long, elaborate clothing and holding some sort of long shafted item, possibly a weapon. The figure is obscured with fire, and it declares, "You have...taken...you must...return It..." The vision ends and Darkgamer is back in the bakery in front of his new gingerbread forces.

Blitz zones in on the crystal merchant, looking to secure the best price for the so-called restorative crystal. [Trade: 4+1] Blitz manages to get the merchant to back down somewhat, though she is still looking for something as rare and valuable as a crystal. Would she have to give up her Revolver, or Bernard's Watch?
KJ steps into Blitz's deal and saves the day by wordlessly throwing the 19th Century Camera and Picture on the table, and gestures to the crystal. The crystal merchant ponders, "A foreign machine and a piece of art done so well it looks just like a real hut...yes, this will do." She hands KJ the crystal before taking the film equipment and storing in it in the back. KJ swallow the crystal...and the terrible sensation in his throat disappears, he is cured! He yells in exclamation, to discover that his voice is now extremely high pitched, as if he had inhaled helium; this medieval universe lacked, among other things, provisions for Side Effect Warnings. It's better than suffocating to death though, and KJ is able to communicate to Blitz that a woman in a hijab is trying to run him over with a motorcycle.

Spoiler: NPCs (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: BlitzDungeoneer (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Person (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: OceanSoul (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: FallacyofUrist (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: kj1225 (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: NAV (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: darkgamer (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: CrocAndBearLover (click to show/hide)

Logged
Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

kj1225

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #76 on: August 25, 2017, 01:44:18 am »

"The camera makes the pictures by the way. Anyways, I have a madwoman on a motorbike to murder."
Says the American, sounding much like Micky Mouse.
Go and fire on CABL, preferably in a civilian light, motorbike obstacle ridden area.
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CABL

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #77 on: August 25, 2017, 01:48:22 am »

Try to dodge the musket shot by driving circles around kj, then stop and shoot at him with my Tommygun.
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

NAV

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #78 on: August 25, 2017, 10:00:46 am »

Run up and execute Person with the bat.
"Maybe you will consider vegetarianism in your next life. Sorry horse."
Then loot him and the watchman for anything of value.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2017, 10:08:37 am by NAV »
Logged
Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

darkgamer

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #79 on: August 25, 2017, 04:53:53 pm »

OOC: Gingerbread creation is +4 not +2 still I doubt it matters that much.

"Good, my Gingerbread men. You are but the first of many, if i can work this right."

Dark turns to the Menshevik "See, I told you it was lucky. Still something unusual happened when i used it. Give me a little while to see if I can get to the bottom of this"

Try to activate the idol and think of seeing the strange figure. If possible gamble with the figure over the ownership of the idol.
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TCM

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #80 on: August 25, 2017, 05:30:38 pm »

OOC: Gingerbread creation is +4 not +2 still I doubt it matters that much.

That was a typo, I processed the turn as if you had rolled a 8+4.
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Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

BlitzDungeoneer

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #81 on: August 25, 2017, 05:45:52 pm »

Whistle for the mercenaries, and direct them to attack the crazy motorcycle woman. Reload the gun if I can and shoot her, otherwise look for regular stones to throw at her.
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Person

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #82 on: August 26, 2017, 03:49:09 am »

Well, that escalated quickly. I knew I should have just had us all shoot instead of run away. Good game.

Shoot NAV in the head as much as possible. If I can hit him with the cannon, do that instead.
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The Conquistadors only have the faintest idea of what the modern world is like when they are greeted by two hostile WWI Veterans riding on a giant potato; Welcome to 2016.

FallacyofUrist

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #83 on: August 26, 2017, 02:38:18 pm »

Reload pistol, gather more seeds.
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FoU has some twisted role ideas. Screw second-guessing this mechanical garbage spaghetti, I'm basing everything on reads and visible daytime behaviour.

Would you like to play a game of Mafia? The subforum is always open to new players.

Paxiecrunchle

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 6: The New Army]
« Reply #84 on: August 27, 2017, 03:55:33 pm »

Yay, someone expired, who joins now?

TCM

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 7: Meeting the Shadows]
« Reply #85 on: August 29, 2017, 11:45:15 am »

Round 7: Meeting the Shadows
Time: Morning

NAV puts his rifle onto his back and picks up his baseball bat. He charges at Person like he's running for a score, but instead of sliding into a home run, he places a cleat down into her backside, pinning her facedown as he triumphantly lifts his Louisville Slugger into the air. "Maybe you will consider vegetarianism in your next life. Sorry horse." [5+2 VS. 9-4] As NAV crashes downwards, Person gets enough strength to escape from under his foot, rolling away. NAV's bat hits the ground, and in frustration he kicks Person before she gets far, planting his shoe right in her gut, a gasp of air escapes from her throat.

Dark speaks to his new forces, "Good, my Gingerbread men. You are but the first of many, if i can work this right." They all bow accordingly as Dark turns to his Menshevik ally, whispering so that the gingerbread men cannot hear him, "See, I told you it was lucky. Still something unusual happened when i used it. Give me a little while to see if I can get to the bottom of this"
The Menshevik sighs, "Yes, you created strange life out of these pastries. I still think you are playing with something that you shouldn't be toying with..."
Dark once again grips the Stolen Ganesh Idol tightly, conjuring up the thought of the individual he saw, and transmuting that thought into the statue. Sure enough, the Idol begins to glow and vibrate once more. There is a brilliant red flash of light in front of Dark and from it a figure steps out, all of its features now identifiable. It is a brown-skinned man wearing a breastplate and leggings made out of gold, exposing his muscular arms and heavy jawline. In one hand he holds a bejeweled glaive. The baker couple screams and flees upstairs, slamming the door behind them.
The man smiles and speaks, "My name is Jyoti. And I know, you are Darkgamer." The Menshevik steps back defensively and raises his rifle, but Jyoti only laughs, "Relax. I am not here to hurt you, if possible. I only want one thing Darkgamer, and you know what that is." The Ganesh Idol begins to vibrate again. Dark offers to gamble for the ownership of the Idol, [Persuasion: 9-2(Chaste Target) = Success] Jyoti rubs his head, "As a holy man, I do not usually gamble...but we are not gambling for money, this is of much more importance. Here are my terms: we will each roll a die, and in the case of a tie, roll again. If you win, you may keep the Idol. And if I win, I will take the Idol back, as well as all of your belongings, and the belongings of your companion as well. Consider it payment for all the work I had to do to apperate to this world."
The Menshevik grabs Dark's shoulder, "Don't do it! Just hand it over. I'm not going to give up everything we have over a damn game."

Fallacy strolls through the forest, reloading his pistol and picking up a few more pinecones. He stops in front of a huge tree, far larger than any of the trees around it, rivaling the great Redwoods. Spotting a pinecone near its base, he picks it up casually. Suddenly the ground beneath he begins to shake violently, almost enough to put Fallacy on the ground. The enormous tree begins to shift and spin, dissolving in front of him. It transforms into a tall wooden tower, with windows and even a door! The door swings open and an old man with a blue robes, a matching pointy hat and a long white beard answers. He puts his hands on the side of his head and yells incoherently into the air, "Aaaaaaagh!" He looks down, sighs, and then looks back at Fallacy, shrugging. "All I wanted was some peace and quiet, that's why I moved out here. 'Go deep into the forest', they said, 'They'll never bother you in the forest!' Well, here we are now. I want to tell you to go away, but as per the custom, 'Thee who discovers thou must be rewarded for their wit and bravery and blah blah blah'. Ugh. My name is Jaameen. This is my wizard's tower. I suppose I have to invite you in now...hmm...do you want some tea or anything?"

Person, clutching her stomach with her wounded arm, goes for broke and uses her last remaining arm to aim her SMG at NAV's head. [6+1-2-2(Aim Head) VS. 8] The spray of bullets goes into the air before the gun slips out of Person's weakened grip. She lets out a weak last gasp of breath and then lays back down, blood pooling around her body.
NAV has defeated Person! He gains 1 Point!
+Article: Kero Kero Chime: +Ability: Frog Transformation


Blitz directs her vigilantes to the newest threat, Croc. "Come on boys, let's get 'er!" [1 VS. 9+4(Foot VS. Vehicle] As the vigilantes run down the straight path between the stalls at the motorcyclist, she puts down the breaks and lifts up her Tommy Gun. [8+2+1(Easy Targets) VS. 2] In a perfect recreation of a WWI trench charge, the vigilantes run headfirst into machine gun fire that tears them to bits. Soon the ground is stricken with five bleeding corpses.
Blitz herself took the opportunity to reload her revolver, and instead of a foolhardy charge she begins firing on Croc from a distance. [1 VS. 6] Even against a stationary target, Blitz manages to miss with half of her clip. Croc retaliates, [4+1 VS. 3] shooting off another burst that grazes Blitz's upper left ribcage.

KJ explains the function of his goods to the crystal merchant in his squeaky voice, "The camera makes the pictures by the way. Anyways, I have a madwoman on a motorbike to murder." He runs down the path, in time to see Croc eliminate the vigilantes and even score a hit on Blitz. It's an open space with civvies on both sides, not the ideal situation for KJ. Regardless, he aims the musket at her as she hits the gas. [7+1 VS. 2+2] Once KJ has a good look at her, he fires a musketball into Croc's right shoulder. She goes down, falling off the bike [Crash: 3] and colliding into the side of barrel, breaking her right ankle on impact. The bike slides off into one of the booths.

Croc gets up to her feet, still clutching the Tommy Gun with her one good arm, and shoots KJ. [8+2-2 VS. 9] Her skill can't make for her injuries as KJ dives to the ground, avoiding the bullets that sail above him.

Dolosus Doleus jumps out of a biplane (which lands safely) mid-flight and parachutes directly into a convertible sports car below that he drives into the middle of town.

Spoiler: NPCs (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: BlitzDungeoneer (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: OceanSoul (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: FallacyofUrist (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: kj1225 (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: NAV (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: darkgamer (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: CrocAndBearLover (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Dolosus Doleus (click to show/hide)

Logged
Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

kj1225

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 7: Meeting the Shadows]
« Reply #86 on: August 29, 2017, 11:57:31 am »

Once more into the breach! BAYONET CHARGE!
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BlitzDungeoneer

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 7: Meeting the Shadows]
« Reply #87 on: August 29, 2017, 12:24:14 pm »

"Barry... Bob... John..."
Blitz gazes at her comrades, and is stricken by grief. A single tear rolls down her cheek.

She is, in fact, so grief-stricken that she stops time and decides to get decidedly... physical, with Croc.

Bernard's Watch, TEAR CROC APART WITH MY BARE HANDS. Direct all attacks I can at her.
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DolosusDoleus

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 7: Meeting the Shadows]
« Reply #88 on: August 29, 2017, 01:19:08 pm »

((Before I post my action, what does "Daredevil with the Drink" do?))
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
Ongoing Forum Thingamajiggers:
Wikipedia Wars: Revengance

TCM

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Re: Wiki-Wars: Once More With Feeling [Round 7: Meeting the Shadows]
« Reply #89 on: August 29, 2017, 01:50:06 pm »

((Before I post my action, what does "Daredevil with the Drink" do?))

I should have listed that. You get a +2 bonus to intentionally risky actions. But you need to drink a bottle of booze every 5 turns, or else you get a general -2 penalty.
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Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.
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