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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 777520 times)

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14010 on: August 19, 2018, 07:50:56 am »

You go to help besiege the capital; and you arrive within two weeks; a messenger from the Simian forces arrives moments after your tent is set up.

Ajarat Padarashka invites you to talks about fate of the capital; specifically, while he understands you won't be keen on participating in purges, he is willing to split the loot from Parsian temples and estates evenly.

A) Sure thing, let's negotiate the phat lewt!
B) We can do it later.
C) Purges!? His soldiers better not touch the innards of the city, or else!
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
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Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14011 on: August 19, 2018, 08:03:48 am »

C - We want to annex the place, not commit genocide.
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14012 on: August 19, 2018, 08:08:20 am »

A
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14013 on: August 19, 2018, 08:14:16 am »

A
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14014 on: August 19, 2018, 08:31:03 am »

A so are we going to split the city down the middle between ourselves like the allies did to Berlin after ww2?.

Or will we just sack and loot the place? I suppose both are equally possible.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2018, 08:41:15 am by Basil ii »
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crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14015 on: August 19, 2018, 09:04:41 am »

A.
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Blood_Librarian

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14016 on: August 19, 2018, 09:07:09 am »

@haspen, IIf we choose A, can we go for some serious negotiations about land, people, and borders as well as the unga dunga loot or is that saved t'ill later?

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if you want something wacky
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14017 on: August 19, 2018, 09:38:46 am »

@haspen, IIf we choose A, can we go for some serious negotiations about land, people, and borders as well as the unga dunga loot or is that saved t'ill later?

i think it’s just a looting agreement. We have already made a deal about the land.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2018, 09:43:11 am by Basil ii »
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14018 on: August 19, 2018, 10:48:40 am »

No looting without condoning purges here?

I'll vote C.
(But if A wins, the more pragmatic side of me wants to talk Ajarat out of looting temples. Defeated nobles have fewer ways to complain than ticked off gods.)
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14019 on: August 19, 2018, 11:18:53 am »

(But if A wins, the more pragmatic side of me wants to talk Ajarat out of looting temples. Defeated nobles have fewer ways to complain than ticked off gods.)
there will not be any complaining nobles if they are all dead. :)

[god damnit I am a monster these kinds of games always do this to me why?]

Ahem disregarding my more moral side there may benefits of crushing another culture if we complete this project there might not be any Parisian people to try and revolt in the future.

Not that I actually want to kill them all but it’s a option and if we follow the no mass murder path what would be our methods of integrating the parsians into our empire?.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2018, 11:34:33 am by Basil ii »
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ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14020 on: August 19, 2018, 11:39:21 am »

A maybe try to change his mind while negotiating
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omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14021 on: August 19, 2018, 11:42:22 am »

Amaybe we can suggest to give a chance to evacuate people, "whoever gets inside methiant banner gets spared, so RUN" or "if people opens their walls and surrender their nobles they will be spared from massacre and have a free day to migrate outside the new Simian empire's playground"
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He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14022 on: August 19, 2018, 11:46:36 am »

maybe we can suggest to give a chance to evacuate people, "whoever gets inside methiant banner gets spared, so RUN" or "if people opens their walls and surrender their nobles they will be spared from massacre and have a free day to migrate outside the new Simian empire's playground"
thats actually a pretty good idea if we could migrate them In to our colonies in the north we might speed up the the process of settling those provinces and there’s probably tons of skilled labor there due to it being the capital and all.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2018, 11:49:00 am by Basil ii »
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14023 on: August 19, 2018, 12:03:21 pm »

(But if A wins, the more pragmatic side of me wants to talk Ajarat out of looting temples. Defeated nobles have fewer ways to complain than ticked off gods.)
there will not be any complaining nobles if they are all dead. :)
Which is why I'm discussing revenge-minded gods.
Looting nobles is a no-brainer.

Quote
. . .
Not that I actually want to kill them all but it’s a option and if we follow the no mass murder path what would be our methods of integrating the parsians into our empire?.

Same general idea as our other conquests: take over, and (presumably utilizing reasonably fair and not too corrupt government) wait until nobody minds any more. We have a good enough army to kill off a few rebellions, and thereby reduce the social influence of would-be rebels.

Ajarat's wholesale slaughter just feels so wasteful, in addition to the moral dimension. Our population score reflects Haspen's estimate of average density. Already on the brink of penalty (I think: other stats trigger stuff at 3, our Pop is 4), what good will it be for the empire to "claim" land but kill the people living on it?

I also like omada's plan. We did earn considerable regard in otherwise rebellious Eval for sparing the populace (even if later events forced us to recognize a degree of separation).
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #14024 on: August 19, 2018, 12:06:45 pm »

If we don't conquer the populace they'll get purged by the Simians. If they get purged by the Simians there'll be no one here to rule. Seems like an obvious decision to me.
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