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[scriver]

Rats are pretty smart pack animals

[Rowanas]

... what, though? That pair describes most of the non-microscopic animal kingdom including humans, at this point.

Fixed that for you.

and ninja'd, you wanker.

[Frumple]

Nah, we're much more set than most other critters for the near future. Lots of population loss and massive QoL reduction is more on the table but actual extinction much less so. We're both fairly hardy, massively populated over more or less all the geographic regions, and able and pretty willing to drive everything else to extinction first, if it means keeping ourselves going that little bit longer.

Humans will probably be one of the last non-insect/bacteria lifeforms to go in an extinction event that's larger than we are.

E: Also yeah, rats would work. Kinda' feels like they're too noble a beast to appropriate, though...

[Reelya]

We also have something other species lack: conscious birth control. While it's not 100% perfect, we have pretty good feedback other than starving to death to tell us that we should have less babies.

[RedKing]

Maybe our political parties need new mascots besides 'stupid pack animal' and 'creature that may be going extinct in the near future'.

I dunno, "creature that may be going extinct in the near future" sums up a lot of GOP politicians. They just need to make the elephant white to be truly representative -- wrinkled, slow, ponderous and white. If they can get the elephant to trumpet a few racial slurs and wear a red hat, they've got it damn near perfect.

[Reelya]

There's one thing that could really pay off for Democrats in November: lots of GOP people are going to be writing off the poll lead as Fake News, therefore they're less likely to be motivated to get out on polling day.

[Kagus]

Maybe our political parties need new mascots besides 'stupid pack animal' and 'creature that may be going extinct in the near future'.

I dunno, "creature that may be going extinct in the near future" sums up a lot of GOP politicians. They just need to make the elephant white to be truly representative -- wrinkled, slow, ponderous and white. If they can get the elephant to trumpet a few racial slurs and wear a red hat, they've got it damn near perfect.

I dunno... Elephants are supposed to be intelligent. And have good memory.


I'm thinking you could have one represented by a dodo, and the other could be represented by a dodo that's been painted red.

[sluissa]

There's one thing that could really pay off for Democrats in November: lots of GOP people are going to be writing off the poll lead as Fake News, therefore they're less likely to be motivated to get out on polling day.

That works both ways and can't really be counted on.

We've seen pretty damn good turnout for both parties in the primaries I've paid attention to. At least in the ones that are in any way competitive. Obviously the primaries where major players are running unopposed are going to draw less voters. But I wouldn't count on catching either party sleeping through November.

[Max™]

Can we all revel in the amazing fashion in which this Whelan cunt decided he was gonna take a break from his work at an organization that LITERALLY HAS THE WORD ETHICS IN THE NAME so he could put his prodigious skill at using his thinking meats to resolve this whole Kavanaugh being accused of having been a rapey prep school kid... so he musta sat there for hours--periodically passing out from forgetting to breathe due to the awesome mental exertions he was undergoing I assume--before it hit him: what if she confused Bratt for another rapey prep school kid they went to school with?!?!

So at this point he probably had to go clean crap out of his underwear--you'll see why I'm assuming his intellect is so perfectly an antonym for the word "intellect" soon--and realized he could just look through a yearbook and squint and find the guy, and after another two full changes of underwear and a brief trip to the E.R. to remove a fork from his eye, he spotted this dude who kinda looked enough like Brett he thought.

Oh, and his name is familiar, neat! It's all falling into place nicely, watch out Sherlock Holmes, I'm coming for your job once I find out what it is!

So rather than doing literally two seconds of research into who this guy is, he just blurts that shit out on twitter like he was the fucking president or something--sorry pal, your diapers aren't big enough for that job yet--so half of twitter ends up tripping over itself into a big cursing pile as they rush to point out THAT THIS GUY WAS ONE OF THE DUDES WHO SIGNED THE LETTER SAYING KAVANAUGH WAS A COOL GUY, and just for extra hilarity, Ford chimes in to say that she actually knows that guy, and there is no way she could possibly confuse the two of them.

I'm honestly amazed that Whelan hasn't choked to death on his tongue or a house plant or accidentally tripped and faceplanted into a jet engine after somehow wandering onto an active runway, dude is making Trump look clever as shit despite having no idea how legal allegations work, or why someone might not rush straight to the FBI as a distraught teenager in the early 80's... and that is truly a mighty feat.

[Dunamisdeos]

Hi my name is Chet Ketchupnaw and I am not a law man. *joke glasses disguise*

[Max™]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/gop-vows-to-move-ahead-with-kavanaugh-vote-if-his-accuser-doesnt-testify-monday/2018/09/20/a7132ee8-bcf5-11e8-8792-78719177250f_story.html?noredirect=on

I'm halfway surprised he didn't manage to accidentally accuse himself of doiing it, then call a mulligan and come back like "ok everyone who signed that senate letter EXCEPT kavanaugh was doing it, and also if anybody could explain what this supreme court thing is, and if it means they get extra sour cream and hot sauce like a taco supreme?"

[Dunamisdeos]

If I wasn't at work you'd get a photoshop of that, probably as a topping on their heads like a hat.

[Max™]

That's for the best, I'm all giggled out at the moment.

Wonder if he'll try to recover by spending several days using zillow, pinterest google maps, and facebook to put together a convincing tweet thread theory showing that while, yes, Kavanaugh did get rapey at the party, Ford was NOT actually the one he got rapey with.

Anybody wanna give me an over/under on it?

Also if you know, feel free to explain what an over/under is, because I assumed it was like a reacharound and that was the most awkward PTA meeting I've been to since one of the ladies loudly shit her pants 5 minutes into the meeting and insisted it wasn't her, and that there wasn't a funny smell in the room.

[Frumple]

... I mean, far as I can recall it's just a ratio thing. One over, five under, 1:5 odds. You can do the dots horizontal. Something like that, anyway.

[Max™]

Ok yeah, I think I understand why that bookie was so angry now, do they make a hallmark card for accidental handjobs? I should probably ask Ed Whelan.