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ROGUELIKE is a game about storming into a dungeon with a bunch of other untrustworthy tomb robbing scum and killing everything that you can, smashing and grabbing as much treasure as possible before you inevitably get wasted by a lich or something. It is not meant to be taken seriously.
This game will be run using
ROGUELIKE, a set of rules written some time in 2004 as an affectionate parody of roguelike computer games and
Monsters & Mazes, which in and of itself appears to be a parody of Dungeons & Dragons, and has a randomly generated dungeon table. Feel free to go look at ROGUELIKE if you actually care about the rules. You don't need to look at it at all, I'll just tell you what you need to know.
The ROGUELIKE rules don't really have rules for things other than attacking stuff and using your special abilities, so typical Roll To Dodge rules will be used for anything not covered. As the game goes on, particularly bad or incomplete rules will be revised, removed, or replaced. Slowly, the game will grow and mutate into something unrecognizable.
The dungeon that players will explore will be randomly generated as the game progresses, and will be filled with all kinds of monsters, traps, and inexplicable piles of gold. There are four player races and six player classes, described in the spirit of the game:
Humans - You know what this is. They have better ability scores on average than the other races and the highest overall Intellect (Intellect doesn't matter), but they don't have any cool magical abilities so they're trash.
Dwarves - Shorties. Hit a tiny bit harder than humans, but they're slow. They have a single use ability to repair, upgrade, or fix an item. Everybody starts with a rusty dagger, and I don't see why you can't use this to fix it into a normal dagger. Or something.
Elves - Fast and they get a magic spell, which basically means that you can wait until the end of the game and then blast your last surviving friend with lightning before they can react and kill them and steal their gold.
Hairfoots - Basically halflings. Slow and weak. Oddly, this game does a better job of modeling how actual halflings would be than other ostensibly more serious games. They get a one time use healing ability that heals a lot of health.
The Classes:
Priest - Has divine god powers and bad stats. Gets a lot of god powers, though. All of the miracles are one time use.
Thief - Decent stats and health, gets some one time use lockpicking and sneaking stuff. Basically everything in this game is one time use. It's meant to be a short game.
Warrior - Traditional fighter, the best stats, has a Dodge ability that lets them halve damage on a successful hit, they can use the ability twice.
Wizard - The least health possible, awful stats, three magic spells that you can use to hold the other players hostage (or blast powerful monsters into dust, your call).
Barbarian - The most health, good at killing stuff, not really that good at avoiding attacks. Has a special ability that lets them do double damage for a little while, which is pretty significant.
Tourist - Basically the worst stats in the game and no special abilities. Probably useful as a human shield, might win if everybody else gets killed or they cleverly betray them. That sort of thing.
The actual statistics:
HP - Hit points. You die at 0.
Attack - Roll 2d6. If you roll above or equal to your attack score, you made a successful attack.
Defense - If you choose to defend at the start of your turn, roll 2d6 every time a successful attack hits you. If you roll under or equal to your Defense, that successful attack stops being so successful and instead does absolutely nothing.
Speed - 1d6 + Speed determines initiative. Speed also factors into your ability to run away from things.
Power - Add this to your damage from fighting with a weapon.
Intellect - Add this to your damage when fighting with a magic spell.
Everybody starts the game with a rusty dagger, a burlap sack (you're wearing it) and some food. Tourists have the option of starting with a Hawaiian shirt, if they're not trying to blend in with the locals.
The game is particularly low effort on the player end: all characters are randomly generated and all you need to do to play is fill out this character sheet:
Name:
And I'll handle the rest.
If you're an elf, a wizard, or a priest, you'll also have to choose some spells after that, but all of the races and classes are as of now rolled randomly, so don't worry about it yet.
CURRENT CHARACTERSName: Fred
Player: Paphi
Race: Human
Class: Owl Knight
Level: 2
Health: 7/8
Speed: 7
Power: 8
Intellect: 8
Attack: 4
Defense: 6
Spells and Special Abilities
3 Disarm
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Tiger Skin Cloak (1 AR)
Rations
Cask of whiskey
Loot
None yet
Points Earned: 23
Name: Sir Loot
Player: TankKit
Race: Elf
Class: Warrior
Level: 1
Health: 3/18
Speed: 8
Power: 6
Intellect: 7
Attack: 4
Defense: 9
Spells and Special Abilities
2 Dodges
1 Spell
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Rations
Loot
None yet
Points Earned:0
Name: Vivienne
Player: Sialia
Race: Troll
Class: Peopleeater
Level: 1
Health: 19/19
Speed: 5
Power: 13
Intellect: 3
Attack: 6
Defense: 8
Spells and Special Abilities
4 Regeneration, 1d6 HP
Weapons and Armor
Troll Claws (2 WDR)
Thick Hide (2 AR)
Loot
None yet
Points Earned:0
STILL PREPARING FOR ADVENTUREName: Theta
Player: Rautherdir
Race: Elf
Class: Warrior
Level: 1
Health: 18
Speed: 8
Power: 6
Intellect: 7
Attack: 4
Defense: 9
Spells and Special Abilities
1 Spell
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Rations
Loot
None yet
Points Earned:0
CARRIED AWAY TO BE TORTURED BY THE INQUISITORS OF ONGName: Drawoh eht Kcud
Player: omada
Race: Duck
Class: Thief
Level: 1
Health: 14/15
Speed: 7
Power: 8
Intellect: 8
Attack: 6
Defense: 7
Spells and Special Abilities
2 Picks
1 Sneak
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Rations
Loot
None yet
Points Earned:0
ESCAPED THE DUNGEON ALIVEName: Dan Kale
Player: S34N1C
Race: Hairfoot
Class: Warrior
Level: 1
Health: 14/18
Speed: 4
Power: 5
Intellect: 7
Attack: 4
Defense: 9
Spells and Special Abilities
1 Heal 4d6
2 Dodges (half damage)
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Rations
Loot
1 gold coin
two owl halves
Points Earned:10
The Graveyard
Rows of pale headstones line the path, springy grayish grass growing up between them. The gnarled limbs of twisted black trees reach up like infernal pikes towards the sky. You recognize some of the names.
URISMCURISTBEARDEDFled from vicious dungeon owls into a room with a trapped razor chute. Fell down the razor chute, hit another one at his destination, and fell down that one too. Rest in pieces. He is survived by his score of
16 20 points.
Name: UrisMcUristBearded
Player: TankKit
Race: Dwarf
Class: Priest
Level: 2
Health: -22/9
Speed: 6
Power: 9
Intellect: 7
Attack: 9
Defense: 5
Spells and Special Abilities
Clap On NA Lights caster’s current location (room or corridor) in dungeon when caster claps hands.
Clap Off NA Darkens caster’s current location (room or corridor) in dungeon when caster claps hands.
Holy Touch 4d6 Inflicts holy damage to unholy (evil) creatures or NPCs.
Holy Kick 5d6 Inflicts holy damage to unholy (evil) creatures or NPCs.
Holy Crap! 8d6 Petitioner’s god is angry and lays the smack down on all characters.
1 Repair/Smithing ability
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Mysterious all-encompassing robes (1 AR)
Rations
Loot
None Yet
Points Earned: 20
KOBOSH THE DESTROYERKilled by the aforementioned owls.
Name: Kobosh the Destroyer
Player: Iawastooshort
Race: Human
Class: Tourist
Level: 1
Health: -1/8
Speed: 7
Power: 8
Intellect: 8
Attack: 10
Defense: 4
Spells and Special Abilities
None
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Red Christmas Underpants (0 AR)
Full Metal Santa Hat with 'BORN TO KILL' written on the side (1 AR)
Rations
Loot
1 gold coin
a bejeweled ring
Points Earned: 15
DUKINGTON IZIDETHAEMurderously shanked when he was weak by Fred the Human Tourist after single-handedly killing three tigers.
Name: Dukington Izidethae
Player: omada
Race: Duck Elf (it's obviously a duck with plastic elf ears)
Class: Barbarian
Level: 2
Health: -8/20 +6, very healthy corpse bonus
Speed: 8
Power: 6
Intellect: 7
Attack: 5
Defense: 5
Spells and Special Abilities
0 Berserk (fit of insane bloodlust, x2 damage for 3 combat rounds, one use)
1 Unblocker Magic Spell
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Rations
Loot
2 gold coins
Points Earned: 21
GAILAOpened a closet full of death platypi and was devoured by them as they avalanched outward.Name: Gaila
Player: Sialia
Race: Human
Class: Thief
Level: 2
Health: -7/20
Speed: 7
Power: 8
Intellect: 8
Attack: 6
Defense: 7
Spells and Special Abilities
1 Picks (Pick open any door, chest, locked anything, one use each)
1 Sneak (Sneak past any obstacle that requires you to move stealthily, one use)
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Elaborate Feathered Headdress - A resplendent headdress made from the feathers of the exotic birds of the nearby Eizkolian upper rainforest canopy. Splashes of teal and sprays of violet compliment the sturdy border of dense bristly feathers harvested from the elfin cloud turaco. +1 to reaction rolls amongst primitives.
Rations
Loot
5 gold coins
Points Earned: 32
SKELIBORN
Passed away after a prolonged struggle with dungeon owls.Name: Skeliborn
Player: 2star3wars
Race: Human
Class: Tourist
Level: 1
Health: 4/8
Speed: 7
Power: 8
Intellect: 8
Attack: 10
Defense: 4
Spells and Special Abilities
None
Weapons and Armor
Rusty dagger (WDR 1)
Hawaiian Shirt (AR 0)
Rations
Some Dungeon Pictures (+1 to scrapbooking)
Loot
1 gold coin
Points Earned: 7
SIR LOOTINGTONStabbed by Fred the Tourist, then accidentally stabbed by himself, then finished off with a lightning bolt from Tim the Enchanter.Name: Sir Lootington
Player: TankKit
Race: Dwarf
Class: Thief
Level: 1
Health: -14/15
Speed: 6
Power: 9
Intellect: 7
Attack: 6
Defense: 7
Spells and Special Abilities
1 Repair
1 Sneak
2 Picks
Weapons and Armor
Tiger Femur Club (WDR 1d6+2)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Rations
Loot
None yet
Points Earned:0
TIMAncient god-lich opposed by coalition of the surface world's greatest heroes. Sealed away in a magic crystal, but not without the heroes giving their lives to stop him and save the world.Name: Tim
Player: TheBiggerFish
Race: Elf
Class: Wizard
Level: 2
Health: -21/6
Speed: 8
Power: 6
Intellect: 7
Attack: 9
Defense: 4
Spells and Special Abilities
2 Blasts
1 Magic WMD
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Boiled leather helmet with ram horns on the sides (1 AR)
Rations
Loot
None yet
Points Earned: 25
STEVEBrilliant archmage who died in the sorcerous final confrontation with the wraithlord wizard Tim. Killed with powerful death spell.Name: Steve
Player: Rautherdir
Race: Elf
Class: Wizard
Level: 1
Health: -29/6
Speed: 8
Power: 6
Intellect: 7
Attack: 9
Defense: 4
Spells and Special Abilities
1 Fireball
1 Ice Storm
1 Blast
1 Blocker
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Rations
Loot
None yet
Points Earned:0
AZET AZIRKANFabled owl-warrior who perished in the aforementioned climactic final battle against the evil sorceror. Saved the future of the surface world by choosing to make the ultimate sacrifice.Owls are known to frequently leave offerings at the site of this cenotaph.
Name: Azet Azirkan
Player: Mallos
Race: Hairfoot
Class: Tourist
Level: 2
Health: -29/11
Speed: 4
Power: 5
Intellect: 7
Attack: 10
Defense: 4
Spells and Special Abilities
Heal 4d6
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Rations
Loot
His Dignity
Points Earned: 29
QUERINTChampion duck warrior who stood alongside other heroes in their confrontation with the dark sorceror lich king Tim. Perished in the battle. His sacrifice led to the recognition of ducks as a civilized race.Name: Querint
Player: omada
Race: Duck
Class: Barbarian
Level: 1
Health: -10/20
Speed: 6
Power: 9
Intellect: 7
Attack: 5
Defense: 5
Spells and Special Abilities
1 Berserk
1 Repair/Smithing
Weapons and Armor
Rusty Dagger (1 WDR)
Burlap Sack (0 AR)
Rations
Loot
None yet
Points Earned:0
ELF WIZARD SPELLSSpell Name SDR Effect
Fireball 4d6 Exploding ball of flame materializes in the air and strikes designated target.
Ice Storm 4d6 Focused stream of ice and snow sprays from caster’s hands and strikes designated target.
Blast 5d6 Bolt of lightning mysteriously materializes in dungeon and strikes designated target.
Magic WMD 8d6 WMD mysteriously materializes, evading weapons inspectors, and strikes all characters.
Minor Heal NA Restores 2d6 points of Health to the designated target.
Major Heal NA Restores 4d6 points of Health to the designated target.
Blocker NA Seals doorway or other portal with a magic barricade.
Unblocker NA Dissipates magic barricade created using the spell “Blocker”.
Sleep NA Causes target to lose three turns.
Paralyze NA Causes target to lose 1d6 turns while killing stuff.
Molasses NA Reduces target’s Speed rating by half (rounded down) for three turns.
Amphetamine NA Doubles target’s Speed rating for three turns.
Teleport NA Randomly teleports target to unexplored area of the dungeon (generate a new room).
Invisibility NA Renders target invisible for three turns, raising their Defense score by ten points.
PRIEST SPELLSMiracle Name MDR Effect
Healing Touch NA Restores 3d6 points of Health to target when caster slaps them on the forehead.
Detox NA Flushes all poisons from target’s system, preventingthem from doing any further damage.
Convert NA Convinces NPC opponent to join your religion and fight alongside you until they die.
Create Food NA One ration materializes on the dungeon floor. Mmmmm... food!
Detect Evil NA Allows petitioner to discern the whether a creature, character or item is evil.
Detect Magic NA Allows petitioner to discern whether a creature, character or item is magical.
Curse NA Reduces target’s Speed, Power, Health and Intellect ratings by three until removed.
Remove Curse NA Removes Curse as per above.
Clap On NA Lights caster’s current location (room or corridor) in dungeon when caster claps hands.
Clap Off NA Darkens caster’s current location (room or corridor) in dungeon when caster claps hands.
Holy Touch 4d6 Inflicts holy damage to unholy (evil) creatures or NPCs.
Holy Kick 5d6 Inflicts holy damage to unholy (evil) creatures or NPCs.
Holy Crap! 8d6 Petitioner’s god is angry and lays the smack down on all characters.
Confession NA Makespetitioner feel good about themselves. Raises Lowers Attack rating by four for three rounds
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
POINTS LEADERBOARD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~32 points - Gaila (posthumous)
29 points - Azet Azirkan (posthumous)
25 points - Tim (posthumous)
23 points - Fred
21 points - Dukington Izidethae (posthumous)
20 points - UrisMcUristBearded (posthumous)
15 points - Kobosh the Red (posthumous)
10 points - Dan Kale (escaped!)
7 points - Skeliborn (posthumous)
Bookkeeping rule: If you catch a bookkeeping error that I made (like not updating a score or a level, calculating hitpoints wrong, not noting a death on the score leaderboard, or anything like that), you get 1 point.