"You'retooslow"
Use my new speed to kick bandits to death while playing the violin.
4
+1+1,1 - Is it a wizard? Is it a monk? No, it's a bard playing soccer and baseball with his violin!
Rapid series of kicks strong enough to pulverize necks of nearby bandits sends severed heads flying, and when they come down you use your violin to bat them away. Most heads just disintegrate into bloody mist, brain giblets and bone shards instead of flying away, but the last one flies beautifully. That's mostly because adhesive holding fingerboard of your violin to upper bout gives up from unexpected abuse and the instrument breaks in two parts held together by strings alone. You quickly slap it back together and look around. Nobody saw it! Good!
It also appears you bashed Guild Master in the progress.
3
+1 -
"Hey, watch it you lunatic!"A question, are instruments replacable if broken?
Either way..
Bash some skulls in!
WHAT? DO YOU FANCY YOURSELF AS SOME SORT OF ARTISAN?! If you are confused about your profession then get the hell out of here! We are supposed to be artists here!
6
+1,5 - Bandit bashing! You swing your didgeridoo around like a lunatic, dancing with ziizo in this
crescendo of barbaric violence. Amidst of crushed bandit skulls you find Sosoku234 and try bash him too just because it fits the rhythm of the violence.
5
-1 - He sidesteps your swing, avoiding fate of being turned into a poet.
Is it too late to submit a character for this game?
Name: Skeliborn
Instrument: the empires's helmets as drums as seen at the beginning of this
Action: run from a random direction from the woods into the middle of the conflict saying something about being chased by man-eating teddy bears who don't understand anything about art.
I don't know what to call such makeshift instrument.
"OHHH you're in for it now! I'll show you smelly rotten cucumbers!" the Bagpipe Apprentice jumps up and down.
Mine is the bagpipe whine that shall pierce the heavens themselves!
6,2 - You blow into the bag with bulging eyes and literally stab bandits into eyes and ears with free pipes, and when that fails to kill them sufficiently, you retort to barbaric way of bashing them with pure rage. Stitches holding the bag together are starting to fail when you finish them the bout of barbaric act.
"Only thing that smells here is your pissy pants!"
"Hmph." The accordion master laughed a bit at the bandit's responses.
Play some even weirder accordion music beyond mortal comprehension with the goal of destroying bandit minds
4
+1 - You play Twenty Seventh Polka of Elder Beings, recovered fifty years ago from deep sea cave. Your favourite lullaby, often played in College's orchestra hall before late evening training session. It's a very refreshing song. Mere sight of note sheets drove adventurers crazy, so just imagine what it does to poor minds of bandits when you play it. These guys do not have even shred of mental resilience of adventurers, whose resilience level is rather laughable by bard standards. All bandits are dancing now.
"Please kill us!"
Jazz-Man reporting, Saxophone ready!
Epic Sax Guy is here!
Start playing the Blues, and hope the others join in. Hopefully the blues will make the bandits lose the will to fight
6,1 - Bandits have already lost their will to live, so you play some blues to match their dance moves, but the fuckers just keep changing tempo.
"If you are going to dance then dance right, you bloody motherfuckers!"
You jam your harmonica into one skull hoping to teach right dance moves via traumatic lobotomy, but unfortunately your precious harmonica cannot take this abuse any more. It shatters.
"Did you just break your instrument?!" Maestro yells.
"Run back to College get your backup!"((You're out for few turns.))
Do a drum roll to get everyone excited.
1 - You get too excited by yourself and stab helplessly dancing bandits (or spasming bandits, it's hard to tell difference) through ears with your drumming sticks and crack few spines and the drum itself.
Play a long and slow pedal B flat to apply a slight movement debugging to the bandits.
That one deranged didgeridoo player tried to smash your head.
3 - They start tripping over their legs, though you are not sure if it was effect of your low note or because of Twenty Seventh Polka of Elder Beings. Such a soothing piece of art! It always puts you into proper mindset to do your best!
I Am Uther, An' I Play the Keytar.
Rock out, man!
Theremin aficionado, reporting for duty!
Whoah, man! That's groovy!play the brown noise. (A really low tune that makes people crap themselves)
Can flute even produce those frequencies?
1 - You don't bother checking out, gotta open blood letting business. You stop one stumbing and spasming bandit, shove the flute into his throat and blow until his lungs rupture.
"Superiour lung capacity, hell yeah!"
The flute however isn't meant to withstand such outstanding air pressure your lungs can produce and breaks a little inside.
Spin the amplified cactus wildly in order to create a high-pitched dirge, then thrust it into the nearest bandit's face. CRESCENDO OF PAIN!
2 - Crescendo of insanity! Last nine bandits have their cheeks scraped into bloody mess. It sure hurts, but they are beyond caring at this point.
Play a piece of personal protection, and then immediately use myself as a shield for the nearest other minstrel.
6
+1,1 - You shred your lyre like you have seen guild master do with his guitar, playing song of protection and accidentally giving the protection for those poor and frankly very stupid bandits. Realizing your mistake your spend two minutes futilely bashing the magical shield you gave them, damaging your lyre in the progress.
"Fuckin' well done! Now they live forever!"Break the protection lyrist gave.
2
+1 - Breaking protection given by another bard is not easy job, but Maestro manages to weaken it. Maybe golems can break it now.
SMASH PUNY BANDITS
6 - Well, fuck these bandits in particular! Golems smash the weakened shield apart and proceed thoroughly pound last stragglers into bloody mud on roadside.
"Well done, my fellow bards! We are starting to warm up! Few stragglers have catched up with us and S34N1C will no doubt catch up as soon as he gets his new instrument from warehouse. I think we should write a song about this adventure as it is proper. Any ideas for first verse lyrics? Or name of the song? Something appropriately epic is needed!"30 Brass golems:
Player: Guild Master
Instrument: Electric guitar
Effects:
Player: Harry Baldman
Instrument: Damaged bagpipes
Effects:
Player: MidnightJaguar
Instrument: Damaged Marching snare drum
Effects:
Player: Sosoku234
Instrument: Damaged Trombone
Effects:
Player: ziizo
Instrument: Damaged Violin
Effects:
Player: Mallos
Instrument: Accordion
Effects:
Player: Poohbah
Instrument: Damaged Flute
Effects:
Player: Draignean
Instrument: Amplified Cactus
Effects:
Player: Ultimuh
Instrument: Damaged Didgeridoo
Effects:
Player: Coolrune206
Instrument: Damaged Lyre
Effects:
Player: KiwiOui
Instrument: Saxophone
Effects:
Player: crazyabe
Instrument: Keytar
Effects:
Player: DolosusDoleus
Instrument: Theremin
Effects:
Author
Topic: All Bards Party (Read 22690 times)