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Author Topic: Gender/sexuality etc. - What Even Is A Gender Anyway  (Read 142145 times)

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #210 on: August 30, 2016, 02:57:03 pm »

Indeed.
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hops

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #211 on: August 30, 2016, 03:02:33 pm »

I think you just need to drink yourself senseless with aspirations of Valhalla, valor, glory. Then you will say a resounding "I AM A MAN!! A-UUH! A-UUH! A-UUH!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Hey, you know what's better than a warrior with a great log? A valkyrie with a great log.

Well ye, you can still identify as female while not undergoing gender reassignment (specially considering there's much progress to be done on that field still), though its still pretty jarring just how people use and abuse of those notions because of random reasons. I specially don't trust people who arbitrarily change their gender identity on a whim, too. I mean, people can claim whatever they want about themselves, but I think its kind of a dick move to grab onto something that actualy affects people in the core of their being just because they want another layer of snowflakeyness on their social media profile.

I know you're referring to Tumblr in particular and as someone who stick to the mature side of Tumblr now and only occasionally see remnants of their past, I have to admit that it was very toxic. Not toxic in the popular meaning as "they're dicks" but more in that the people there are very unhappy and pull everyone down as we go on our search for happiness and self-fulfillment when we actually make ourselves feel worse about our value as a person. Teenblr capitalize a bit too much on the outcast thing, and it's very hard to meaningfully discuss someone's identity because you will definitely hurt their feelings, because for them it's the only thing they have for themselves when everyone else doesn't work. But it's not healthy. It's not healthy. Having a unique gender will only satisfy you for a little while, and then it'll just be common, and you'll be boxed in to your own role because you don't want to come across as fake.

And I guess that's very stream-of-consciousness but I feel like I'm the only active Tumblr user here who won't explode into salt if anyone criticized my cozy, warm, shitty, beautiful, ridiculous home.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2016, 03:04:30 pm by Cinder »
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Neonivek

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #212 on: August 30, 2016, 03:08:07 pm »

I know someone who has gender dysphoria but has a sort of case where they go between male and female quite consistently in a rather unpleasant way.

On the plus side he/she can totally rock a dress.
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BillyTheKid

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #213 on: August 30, 2016, 03:13:41 pm »

You mean that home filled to the brim with feminist that had every reminisence of a human creature wiped off their counciousness, to fully dedicate themselves to the destruction of the entire male population, aswell as the subjugation of all resisting women that do not subscribe to their murderous crusade? Or the people that have gone stark raving mad and in their insanity proclaim themselves to be mythical creatures or to have mysterious entities residing in their head?

I think you should look for a new place to rent. Wanna join up with me? Mate rates, guaranteed!
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hops

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #214 on: August 30, 2016, 03:18:25 pm »

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Gee, I'm sure drowning in radfems. What shall I do? It's not like I can block them!

Saying Tumblr is entirely cancer is like saying Bay12forum is entirely virgin neckbeard hipsters.



I guess if I think about it, gender-wise I'd say I'm genderfluid, at the risk of, you know, incurring the annoyance of certain persons in this thread. I don't think it's an arbitrary choice because I strongly disagree against the idea that gender is anything except perceptions, ergo I can be whoever the ___ I want so long as I can match it cosmetically. But with that said, I'm not quite there yet so I kind of sit on the "androgynous" fence on virtue of occasionally being seen as an attractive female, and often seen as an attractive male.

I sometimes like to joke that my gender is "attractive" and as sad and conceited as that sounds I honestly kind of identify with that. I personally feel that physical appearance is only skin deep if you put no effort in it. If you actually took the time to take care of yourself, to have good taste in fashion, you should be lauded as much as an artist who make quality art.

Of course, art is subjective and so is attraction, but I'm confident in the fact that on average I am viewed as attractive.

And that might be a self-indulgent rant but I just really wanted to get that out because I know a lot of people just think I'm desperate and insecure. Which I am, but this is not one of its symptoms.

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BillyTheKid

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #215 on: August 30, 2016, 03:52:01 pm »

You are a man to me, doesn't matter if you wear a pretty dress or your hair looks really lofty. I don't know why you would attribute that to be a negative thing. It's what your body has been shaped like since you were born, but I get the feeling you interpretate that as being called ugly, violent and above all stupid, am I correct? In advance, I want to clarify, a man to me is far from these, quite often spread by feminists, negative stereotypes. To me, it is someone that carries passion with him, and hardship. It is someone that treads a path of learning and growth in character. Someone that learns sacrifice, comradeship, to stand up for others, and ultimately, stand up for himself. Someone that knows the weight of tears and smiles.

I refuse to think you are destined for anything less. These things cannot be meaningless to you, so why not pursue them?
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chaoticag

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #216 on: August 30, 2016, 04:21:06 pm »

To be honest you don't need to be a man to pursue them. They're not inherently male things, and you can pursue being someone else while also taking those values, or taking whatever positive values you would like to carry forwards into life. All cinder said is they're probably gender fluid. They're not any less Cinder for saying so.
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hops

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #217 on: August 30, 2016, 04:27:53 pm »

I honestly just dislike the concept of gender, but since it's here to stay I might as well make use of it and be any gender when it's convenient, because I'm not going to be contained in these dumb boxes.
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BillyTheKid

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #218 on: August 30, 2016, 04:45:43 pm »

My heart is broken.

yeah, it's all a big dumb box.
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Reudh

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #219 on: August 30, 2016, 04:52:24 pm »





Saying Tumblr is entirely cancer is like saying Bay12forum is entirely virgin neckbeard hipsters.

The best lines always have a grain of truth to them.

Me personally, I've always considered myself male and nothing but, apparently even very young I had a very very strong sense of gender.
That being said, in kinder apparently my parents were told "I've never seen such a boyish boy play so happily with the girls," though perhaps it was because my parents tried to be kinda "gender neutral" with the toys I had age 2-4 or so.

Then came my little brother, who despite me being quite masculine, makes me look less masculine by contrast.

Jimmy

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #220 on: August 30, 2016, 05:37:35 pm »

Overall, humans are big messy balls of contradictions. One person's definition of a male is incredibly different to another's. A CEO of a multinational company, an auto mechanic and a liberal arts student might all identify as male gender, but their own interpretation of how that gender should function will differ wildly.

I've never really understood where to stand on sex vs. gender for describing a person's self-identified preference. Is sex more appropriate for genetic gender, i.e. XX or XY? Is gender better for use when describing your own chosen label? I dunno.
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chaoticag

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #221 on: August 30, 2016, 05:47:45 pm »

Me personally, I've always considered myself male and nothing but, apparently even very young I had a very very strong sense of gender.
That being said, in kinder apparently my parents were told "I've never seen such a boyish boy play so happily with the girls," though perhaps it was because my parents tried to be kinda "gender neutral" with the toys I had age 2-4 or so.

Then came my little brother, who despite me being quite masculine, makes me look less masculine by contrast.

Well, kids apparently can have very strong senses of gender when quite young, even when raised gender neutral or gender affirming. I'd still prefer kids be raised gender neutral since they can hopefully figure out what their identity means to them with little pressure. Plus it helps out if a kid is showing signs of dysphoria at an early age.

Personally? Took me until about the last year of highschool before I started realizing that gender roles sucked royally, and I've been happier ever since. Would have loved the chance to grow up where people stopped you from doing anything they felt that didn't fit in the box they placed you in.

I've never really understood where to stand on sex vs. gender for describing a person's self-identified preference. Is sex more appropriate for genetic gender, i.e. XX or XY? Is gender better for use when describing your own chosen label? I dunno.
If it's confusing it's because it is a bit. Some people use one over the other, use both, and some find using one way of identification to be preferred and the other to be insulting. The best rule of thumb is ask how someone wants to be addressed and use that. Covers all the basics in terms of functionally dealing with things and you can treat the rest as a matter of philosophy so far as you're concerned.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #222 on: August 30, 2016, 06:10:42 pm »

I've always used sex to refer to biology and gender to refer to how someone identifies, but that may just be me.
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Rolan7

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #223 on: August 30, 2016, 06:58:07 pm »

Gonna plug Last Days of Foxhound again:  I love how this guy (he does identify as male).... identifies:
http://www.doctorshrugs.com/foxhound/comic.php?id=249

Now to actually read this thread, I thought it'd be dead by now.  Good job, bay12!  Looks pretty good so far!

Oh also I'm still pretty fluid.  Mostly because I have to be male for family, but I'm feminine in love.  And by myself or with my real friends, it really is up to my mood...  I don't identify as either.  So a mix of pretending, and resenting the supposed binary.  I guess that makes me "fluid".

I'm probably going to permanently remove my facial hair sometime soon because it causes me real emotional distress, not to mention constant tedium and aggravation to shave.  It grows horribly fast.
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spümpkin

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Re: Gender/sexuality etc. - Let's keep this train on its rails
« Reply #224 on: August 30, 2016, 08:21:37 pm »

I agree with most of what's being said here, and what I'm not going to touch on are the bits I don't quite agree with, as I'm on mobile, and can't exactly rant very easily.

But, I do want to support the statement that a lot of people jump in without fully understanding their own condition, and having that both analysed by a professional and themselves. I have been through a lot of years of therapy, and while I know it isn't that easy for everyone, it helped me come to a decision, along with a lot of introspection. I'm not a particulalry masculine person, nor am I a particularly feminine person normally. My mood can sometimes be very feminine, but it is never very masculine.

And, the thing is, while it may not help a lot of people, I'm confident that it'll assist me in removing a large load off my life, and removing a huge weight off my mind. Because, yes, I'll still have to deal with societys response, and obviously, some will just see me as a male with breasts, feminine fat distribution, feminine body hair growth and body odors, and a (albeit infertile) vagina. But hey, people will be people, and at the end of the day, all we have is ourselves who we have to sleep with at night. Whether or not I upset someone by doing this shouldn't cause them ti lose sleep, as it won't bother me when it's all said and done. I am who I am, and others are who they are. That is both the crux of humanity, and the beauty of it all.
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