Turn 12OBJECTION: the purpose of this most recent and all the previous "5" posts was not at all in line with how the GM has been running them. There has been specific goals in mind for each and every one of them, and the GM's failure to run these actions is a clear violation of the SACRED DUTY of GMing. As such, a request has been filed for compensation by each of these abused actions. Although it is their right to ask not only to be run but to auto-succeed due to GM FAILURE, the prosecution has put forward a plea bargain option for these actions to simply be run in the upcoming turn, with simple non-modified rolls, and with the caviat that their purpose be put forward in clear simple English.
The victim posts were as follows, with their purpose put in clear simple english after them for added clarity:
5
Meaning: Make a random die roll this turn that would otherwise not be a 5, into a 5.
Five
Meaning: Make a random die roll this turn that would otherwise not be a 5, into a 5.
FIVE!
Meaning: Make a random die roll this turn that would otherwise not be a 5, reroll until it does roll a 5. apply all the results.
FiveFive? FiveFiveFive FiveFive . Five. FiveFiveFiveFiveFive. FiveFive. Five!
Meaning: Make all die rolls that result in 5 trigger another die roll. apply all the results.5?
Meaning: Make a random 5 die result into a random nonfive die result.--- ---
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Meaning: Make crappy ascii art of a random action that contained a 5, preferably with a roman theme.THE TIME OF FIVE HAS COME. FE5R THE 5. SU5MI5 TO T5E 5. A5L G5OR5 5O TH5 5. 5E 5H5 5 T5A5 Y55 A55W5Y5 W55T5D 55 55. 555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555.
Make actions, on a 5, succeed. despite all unlikelyhood and all opposition.
meaning: make an action modified by more than 3 roll modifiers into a 5, despite the modifiers. simultaniously make an action that resulted in 5 with less than 3 modifiers reroll, applying the new result.
((I somehow suspect there will soon be a death battle between meta knight and law ninjas.))
The Meta-knight takes offence! Its tension increases! If you guess that reference which I have just made for the third time, you get a cookie!
The meta-knight recognizes that your actions are minor offences, and that metamancy of this level should be allowed in reasonable amounts; after all, it makes the world interesting. However, the density of actions is a problem, and some effects do cross the line, so despite the necessity of some metamancy of this kind, the meta-knight will allows die rolls to determine whether to exercise its wrath.[6][MK response: 4]
[2][MK response: 4]
[2][MK response: 4] [4][MK response: 1] [4][MK response: 2] [6][MK response: 2]
[2][MK response: 3] [5][trees:2][MK response: 1]
The first three actions, as well as the second-to-last, are abjured by the meta-knight!
This turn, all fives rolled will be re-rolled! The rest of the actions (re-rolling one random five, ascii art of a random fived action, and the switcheroo effect) will take effect next turn, and will continue untill they can all be completed. If the GM forgets to take any of this into account next turn, you have every right to bug him about it until he retcons the actions into the turn(s)! Oh, also, there are two more trees.Chaotic bloodmage: Rest and recover a bit, Then invite the meta knight for some tea. Maybe chamomile, he seems a bit tense.
Bardnir!: bring cheese to the tea party, if the troll hasn't taken it all. Also, do not "Cut the cheese".
[3] [2]
[6] [6] (Overshot at an attempt to not fart. This is about to get squicky)
The chaotic bloodmage decides to just enjoy the scenery, and have some tea in the shade of one of these trees that are showing up all over the place. He offers the Meta-knight some chamomile tea, but it refuses."A knight of the meta must be ever vigilant, so I must refuse your offer to relax with a cup of tea. As if I would share tea with one who summoned forumites to this plane. You are on thin ice, chaotic one."Bardnir charges into the tea party with his crate of cheese, but he's running too hard, trips, and falls, splattering the chaotic bloodmage with cheese! Because the chaotic bloodmage is status-less, the cheese quickly sloughs off, failing to inflict the chaotic bloodmage with the "cheesed" status effect, and becomes unsalvagably dirty on the ground. What a waste! In a heroic effort to save face, Bardnir focuses their entire being into the act of NOT cutting the cheese, and tries so hard that they manage to reverse-fart! The results are horrifying, and... Well... I cannot properly phrase this in a way which would do it justice, so I will say this much: As of now, it is the first stage of what happens to the mad scientist in this video, and it is getting worse!(Oh wait,
Bardnir the chaotic bloodmage has auto fives and I forgot... Um... They were delayed a bit and will take effect next turn! If I forget and don't include that, pester me and I WILL retcon!)
Jimmy: Re-assess the situation, and attempt to talk to the metaknight.
[6]
You approach the Meta-knight and begin talking! You continue talking, ranting about this thing and that, dominating the conversation, unable to shut up about fives and memes and the hell fortress you were just in and your mom's delicious cookies, until the Meta-knight interrupts you!"Shut up. Just... Shut up. That's quite enough for one action."Me:Point out that it was Jimmy doing all those things, and cackle wildly as they have already happened! MUAHAHAHA!!!!!111!1!!1!1ONEONEONE! (Any ones are NOT supposed to have influences on Jimmy's rolls.)
Jimmy:Banish the meta-knight by beating it in Smash with Meta Knight!
The Meta-knight backhands TheBiggerFish across its poshguinfishy face!"Don't you try and make up excuses, forumite! Jimmy has no will of his own, and is forced to perform every action that you disgusting froumites feed him! That he did so much metamancy under your command is your fault and yours alone!"[3]
The cursor approves of this course of action, and copy-pastes a couple 3DS's for the two of you to use! Unfortunately, you're not a huge gamer, and now that Meta Knight has been nerfed severely, the Meta-knight wipes the floor with you!No d100=no 90
At least there will be less things to block the trees from appearing. 1/100 is more than 1/6.
Plsnocalvinmkball
Recharge magic.
Cause puns to appear from words Summon a gun that turns things into puns. Let's say, there will be deesaster. Typo indended.
[2] [no magic]
You chant a mantra to refill your magic, but it doesn't work! You cannot summon the gun, because you are out of magic!Create bindings around the meta-knight designed to capture any attacks which would hit him.
Try making an essence. Don't push things if it doesn't seem to be working, though.
[CMP:
5 2][POT:3+1=4] [CMP:3-1=2][POT:3]
Viznor casts a spell to protect the meta-knight, but the bindings are weak and wildly placed, and the effect is only a very minor amount of protection. The Meta-knight seems annoyed that it is now weakly bound, and despite their potential uses, decides to shed the bindings and save its mobility. Viznor then attempts to create an essence, only managing to secure +1 POT, but at least essences work normally!
Life:60%. Magic:0%. Manna:30% Inventory: pants, sword, fake arms, laptop. Companions: obedient werefrog, pile of mostly obedient eldritch horrors, spirit of an evil child. Status: normal. Location: my desktop.
You are sitting around awkwardly with the chaotic bloodmage and several creatures from beyond the fourth wall.
Enemy stats:
Chaotic bloodmage: Health: 40% Magic: 10% Manna: 85%
Viznor the seer: Health: no reading. Magic: seemingly infinite. Manna: no reading. Injuries: scratched and badly bruised. Scabs. Mentally shaken. Left thumb broken.
Bardnir: Health: 100? Magic: 0? Manna: no reading. Status: ass-vacuum, stage one.
Moznarx Hogroof: Health: seemingly immortal. Magic: You've lost track. Manna: no reading.
The meta-knight: Health: 100% Magic: 100% Manna: 100%
Angry Internet Troll: Health: 35% Magic 100% Manna: 100%
The number five: Health: 5 Magic: 5 Manna 5 Status: oldtree
There are 15 huge trees and six metric butt-tons of cut lumber around the field.
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Topic: Roll to twitch turn 15: What are we gonna do tonight, brain? (Read 26803 times)