I still ponder what *exactly* fascism is, but I imagine that's part of the problem. Hard to recognise fascism until you've sleepwalked into it
Fascism came out of WWI. Consider the type of wartime powers WWI governments used. Commandeer all industry, propaganda, hate the enemy/outsider, forced conformity: "disloyal" people outed as spies/traitors, everyone indoctrinated to comply with expanding state power. Fascism can pretty much be summed up as the "Forever WWI" model of government.
The fascists looked at the "total war" model of WWI and considered it to be the next stage of social development, with a social darwinistic bent. The idea was that if
you didn't go full-fascist (total war economy/society) then you'd be over-run by other states that did it. Basically it's an attempt to unify military+political into one system. So where Marx really talked about removing the dichotomy between economic hierarchies and political hierarchies, fascism removes the dichotomy between military power and political power. So in Communism, the economic and political are merged, and you still have the army off to the side, whereas with fascism, the military and political are merged and you still have the economic off to the side (i.e. corporations aren't merged).
This is why fascist leaders are so keen on wearing military uniforms. They then added on the idea of the "race" as the natural unit of society, which was why the Germans were so keen to grab any areas with ethnic Germans in them, so the Nazi version became the idea of total war between racial groups rather than just nation states per-se. The "ultimate" form of fascism would thus be one in which there's no concept of a civilian: everyone would have a unit and designation within the state apparatus and there's always a clear chain of command.