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Author Topic: The Expedition Arcane [ded]  (Read 44449 times)

AbstractTraitorHero

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #120 on: January 27, 2016, 05:39:05 pm »

...i try to....be a mage..but I fail at everything...a-and when I do succeed I.....don't know why....they called me a ....favoured soul....i don't...know what that...is.
"Hey, Dont be like that! I'm sure they are wrong.
......i....I'm w-worthless .. i-i i can't...i just fail....everyone.
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Caellath

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #121 on: January 27, 2016, 05:40:16 pm »

((Nyehehehehe, I'm in.))

While some people whined and cried and farted their indignation, Malacent didn't do any of that. He had been chosen, as already predicted by his genius, and he could do any of those acts without the unnecessary addition of indignant tones. "NYEHEHEEHEH!" His very irritant and equally evil laugh joined the frenetic screaming and yelling for several seconds before he finally ran out of breath and decided to commemorate by giving Ano his banjo so the small golem could play a victory tune on the stringed instrument.

Noticing the other chosen wizards and spellcasters were bunching up together and chatting, the dreaded Dark Shrimp headed their way, followed by a patchwork golem of flesh and metal playing banjo behind him.
Logged
"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

AbstractTraitorHero

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #122 on: January 27, 2016, 05:42:19 pm »

Miya trys not to flinch but is failing.
Hi I'm... M-Miya.
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piratejoe

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #123 on: January 27, 2016, 05:45:24 pm »

((Sad Face. I hope one of my expeditions gets picked at least))
Elements of some of them made it in.
(Im assumeing the ocean and yokai thing is also one of the things that made it in,the ocean im guessing because everyones going on a ship and yokai because yokai = !FUN!))
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Battleships Hurl insults from behind thick walls, Destroyers beat up small children, Carriers stay back in the kitchen, and Cruisers are a bunch of tryhards who pretend to be loners.

Nirur Torir

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #124 on: January 27, 2016, 05:49:44 pm »

Sjig-Nak made their way over to the other conversing mages, sprouting a non ending stream of gibberish that had long since veered away from any topic important at this moment or any other. After a moment Sjig seems to notice that they've arrived near the other mages and brings himself back to reality, his mode of speech slowing down somewhat as he makes an actual effort to converse with beings of actual importance. ".... And that's why the moon should rightfully be green instead of it's currently disgusting shade Nak and OH! HELLLLLLLOOOOOOO Other magical users of importance on this mission! Greetings! I am in search of information on the future, divined or mundane! For example, my name is Sjig! And this is Nak! What are your names monikers nicknames call signs or symbols?"
"... Some sort of pet? A bodyguard? ... I am Mongo the Magnificent, a noble elven healer. Who are you here with?"
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Caellath

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #125 on: January 27, 2016, 06:10:35 pm »

"I am Malacent, Arcane Arranger!" The imp introduced himself like his designation/title was a big deal, gesturing with one of his large hands and flapping his little wings excitedly. He was wearing his finest set of navy travel robes - which meant the cleanest one - and appeared quite satisfied with the whole situation.
Spoiler: Physical Description (click to show/hide)
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"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

AbstractTraitorHero

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #126 on: January 27, 2016, 06:28:13 pm »

....that's a nice n-name.
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Criptfeind

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #127 on: January 27, 2016, 06:54:18 pm »

"... Some sort of pet? A bodyguard? ... I am Mongo the Magnificent, a noble elven healer. Who are you here with?"

"Ah hah well that's quite interesting and terrifying and interrifting that one with the adjective of Magnificent is among the group of mages that are going on this expedition as that implies a much greater power of magic then I would have assumed that would be available to the people on this journey other then myself! You must be quite glorious ether in your ability of magic or deception to have such a title assuming to answer your question I will require the cost of answering my own question of what type of magical powers you have in such abundance to have earned such a title?!? My payment is as follows! I bring no one but myself here because my vast legion of follows and slaves and other things that powerful mages certainly have could not fit on the boat and thus I elected to not bring them not because they do not exist but rather because of practical limitations that thankfully mean it's more logical and practical if no one ever sees them! Also Nak although he is not really a who!"
"I am Malacent, Arcane Arranger!"

"Yes this is good as one thing I was worried about among the other things to worry about on this expedition was if our arcane would be properly arranged although I must admit I only acquired this worry shortly after you told me your title and thus existed for a relatively short time compared to the other worries but non the less when it did exist I calculated that it was quite likely to end with the doom of us all and possibly all of civilization before your timely solving of this issue! My only remaining worry in this category is what an Arcane Arranger does but that is a relatively small worry that I think will not likely end in our death within the next few moments!"

....that's a nice n-name.

"Yes, thank you my name is very nice however at the same time for it I require to also know your name in order to make sure that we stand on an even platform of name based knowledge! Even knowledge of names is something that I think is absolutely vital for the continuation of a working partnership where nether person stabs the other in the back until at least one is able to walk away successfully after the fact and without certainly our whole civilization would fall into languish as the unnamed do nothing but secretly try to ferret out each others hidden names in a unending game of power although I am sure that some as of yet unnamed people would disagree with me but hopefully they are not here!"
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AbstractTraitorHero

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #128 on: January 27, 2016, 06:57:42 pm »

Miyas face looks crestfallen.
O-Oh im s-sorry it's....Miya.
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ATHATH

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #129 on: January 27, 2016, 07:03:50 pm »

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!

((I legitimately said "Awww..." and then "YES!" as I was reading the prologue.))

The system from DR basically revolved around two spells- a spell that split an item into two components, and a second one that combined two components. For example, if you decomposed a stick of wood, you might get a bit of death and flammability. You could then combine flammability with a pig, and something related to flammability and pigs would come out. 'Twas fun, especially once we could start decomposing spells. Ask Shadestyle for more details.

"yes ye can, just dont stick any magic in it; I managed to turn the eyes back on about several months ago and I think this one made an anti magic ray..."
I say as I hand the eye to Ozum
Anti-magic cone. It's the big center eye that emits anti-magic, by the way.

Otto strides out through the crowd with a large trolley that contains his stuff.

"Can I help you with that? Thank you for electing me leader, by the way."

Do what he tells me to.
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
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*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

tntey

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #130 on: January 27, 2016, 07:07:07 pm »

Ulfric silently participates in the chitchat
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Speaking of lowest intelligence, that reminds me of the fact that it's probably your first time in prison. Don't worry, I can give you some tips, having spent some time in a few myself. The best way to make friends here is to drop the soap during shower time. Try it, I'm sure you'll love making friends like that!

Nirur Torir

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #131 on: January 27, 2016, 07:07:49 pm »

Mongo takes half a step back, an expression of concern on his face, and silently mouths words to himself as he works his way through the string of babble.

"You will see my powers at Healing and Livewood Crafting in due time.

Are you suffering an adverse reaction to stimulants, or are you always this verbose?"
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IronyOwl

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #132 on: January 27, 2016, 07:17:34 pm »

Prologue: Welcome!


"I-I found it! I found it!" the elf calls up, standing and waving some papers around.

"The ah, the three captains, um, Princess Blacktongue!

Baron Bollwheel!

Chancellor Gruelfist!

They shall, uh, each shall lead one of the three ships behind me, each of which shall be stocked with ample supplies and a suitable crew!

Uh, standard colonists shall consists of 100 farmers, 50 hunters, 50 soldiers, 20 lumberjacks, 20 carpenters, 10 miners, 10 masons, 10 channelers, 10 bureaucrats, 5 blacksmiths, and an architect!

Uh, this, uh, concludes everything, you may board the correct vessels and depart now!"


The elf deflates a little from apparent relief before scurrying off.

Three individuals ambulate to the front of the crowd, calling for order and quiet.

The first to speak is a black and stone-blue woman with the lower body of a serpent. A few from the crowd recognize her as a Lapuli Gorgon, presumably hailing from their hostile kingdom. Her voice has that silky arrogance you sometimes get from slimy nobles and the like. "Now now, would all the craftsmen please direct your attention to the leftmost vessel? That is your destination."

Her vessel, a giant wooden barge like all the others, appears to be crewed by skeletons. Twenty of them, as far as you can tell.

The second is a thundering reddish minotaur with muscles straight out of a statue. He wears a monocle, and his moustache is unusually pronounced. His voice leaves no doubt that he's a brash valor type. "WHAT HO! Hunters and soldiers, to the middle! We'll teach these landlubbers what true valor is, won't we?!"

His vessel appears to be crewed by... some kind of ambulatory mushrooms. White-speckled red tops, dull looks on their faces. Also twenty, as with the skeletons.

The third is a fat ogre. A very, very fat ogre. An ogre of a different sort than the necromancer from the wizards, apparently, with normal-ish beige skin and enough fat to make his torso look like a ball. Which makes it all the more disturbing when he sashays forward gracefully, cigar in hand, monocle over eye, and tophat on head. His voice is predictably oily, the kind someone wants to sell you something with. "Now now, friends. I know all you farmers are feeling left out, but no worries! Ol' Gruelfist has your best interests at heart, and if you'll just find your way to my vessel on your right, I'm sure we'll get along just fine."

His vessel... his vessel is crewed by ratman banjo squads.


With the other colonists shoving their way into the appropriate vessel, you deign to get a look at what's below the ships. The docks don't open into water- they open into air. Specifically, the air above The Eye. A great pulsing sphere of incandescent blue energy, The Eye is a nexus of magical forces, surrounded by a city founded in large part to harness and control it. Only a fool would use it for planar travel... unless they were in a hurry and could manage the added protections. Normally this would include a vessel made of precious metals for a start, but wood works just as well so long as it's totally shielded and nothing goes wrong.

Then it's onto the gorgon's vessel, Princess Blacktongue apparently, and off you go.


Extraplanar travel of this sort is a bit harsher than it has to be, which mandates certain precautions. The short version is that they stuff everybody into barrels and then stack them like any other cargo. Gee, thanks.

The trip begins mundanely enough; you feel the ship unmoor and begin rocking gently. This doesn't last long- soon the rocking becomes more pronounced and erratic, as though you're accelerating and spinning around improbably. Other, less coherent symptoms start cropping up; you feel a flash of tingling, a bout of depression, something seems off but you can't place it, or the fact that you've got a left arm abruptly seems wrong somehow. These then fade compared to the raw magical energies you can feel, and the strange movements become more pronounced and less uniform.

Blacktongue: [4, Malus]
Bollwheel: [17, Bonus]
Gruelfist: [19, Bonus]

When you wake up- you don't recall falling asleep- the ship is still rocking severely. You dimly recognize something is wrong, before terrible realization takes hold: You're in a storm or some other turbulence. Judging by the muffled roar coming from beyond the walls... uh, that sounds like an angry ocean, but there's also a constant patter that makes you think rain.

It occurs to you that you probably should have gotten the details of where you were going before getting on the ship.

With no time for regret and limited ability to skitter out of your barrel without ruining everything forever, you're stuck waiting for thing to improve.

In typical fashion, they do not.

What feels like forever but was probably only a few minutes after waking, there's a thunderous shudder as the ship comes to rest. The roaring and rain have no ceased, which is concerning, but on the bright side you're probably on solid ground. There's an ominous water flowing sound, though...

Skeletons are down to pry you out not long after, which gives you a good look at the hold. There's water flowing down the stairs, and nearby Princess Blacktongue is hunched over the floor as though ill.

"Ship," she wheezes, "Damaged. Idiots, left. Will have, to walk." She looks around with an expression that says she really does not want to walk.

Morbidly curious and in no danger of remaining dry anyway, you climb abovedeck to see where you are. Like most of your decisions, this one is arguably a mistake.

It is indeed raining. It is raining furiously. It feels as though someone is personally standing above you with a bucket of water pouring it directly onto your head, shoulders, shoes, and everything in a five mile radius just to make sure. There are, as befitting the rain, at least two raging rivers flowing past the grounded vessel. They are both leading to what looks like a giant cave with something glowing in it; it's hard to see because of the rain, but you'd wager that's the jump point you just came from.

You didn't get very far, if so.

Otherwise, your surroundings appear to be jungle. Lots and lots of jungle.

A quick check of the vessel confirms that is sustained rather serious damage during the trip; the actual structure is probably mostly fine, but most of the stuff, physical or otherwise, that makes it fly or traverse dimensions is pretty badly shredded. A sufficiently skilled mage or mages might be able to fix it well enough to limp along, but otherwise you are indeed just going to have to walk wherever you're going.

...you do not see the other two ships.
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A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

AbstractTraitorHero

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Welcome!]
« Reply #133 on: January 27, 2016, 07:22:22 pm »

.....miya looks horrified is this m-my f-fault!? I-i never screwed up this bad!
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Criptfeind

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Re: The Expedition Arcane [Prologue: Herd of Cats]
« Reply #134 on: January 27, 2016, 07:30:26 pm »

Sjig starts panicking at their predicament, random strings of gibberish escaping from his mouth "...Andthenwehavetodecidewhotoeatbutwhatifitastegoodandtheygoformeandnakagreesandtheyeatmefirstandmysoulgetsturnedintospahgetiandthentheyoversaltitwhenboilingitandthentheyalldieofcrampshahahahahthatwouldteachthemforeatingmeialwaysgetthelastlaughgehehehhe..."
Nak ignores Sjig panic, and looks around at their new surroundings, eventually jumping off the wrecked ship and looking around the area more closely. His keen senses on the search, as always, for food.
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