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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1006727 times)

Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8055 on: May 16, 2018, 11:41:00 am »

Honestly the bigger problem is that some Dutch eat fucking watermelon as a BBQ salad. Like, why the fuck would you do that???
I mean, doesn't watermelon go well with grilled meats?
Heck, you can even grill the watermelon itself. Gotta be careful not to let it dehydrate too much, but the heat semi-caramelizes some of the sugars while also adding the smoky flame flavor from the grill.

I'm more of a grilled corn in-the-husk kind of guy, but it's certainly acceptable by US standards.

Teneb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8056 on: May 16, 2018, 11:51:42 am »

Pretty darn nice if you know the trick of first emptying a liter of vodka into said melon (and leave that for a few hours so the vodka soaks all of the melon)
That's disgraceful and I feel dirty knowing I am a descendant of people who would foul a watermelon in such a way.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8057 on: May 16, 2018, 11:59:33 am »

(As MSH is a Georgian, I think he refers to BBQ being used for grilling instead of smoking)
(As MSH is a Georgian
I am literally mobileposting from work to call out this heresy
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8058 on: May 16, 2018, 12:03:28 pm »

(As MSH is a Georgian, I think he refers to BBQ being used for grilling instead of smoking)
(As MSH is a Georgian
I am literally mobileposting from work to call out this heresy
გაბრაზებული ხარ?

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8059 on: May 16, 2018, 12:21:59 pm »

(As MSH is a Georgian, I think he refers to BBQ being used for grilling instead of smoking)
(As MSH is a Georgian
I am literally mobileposting from work to call out this heresy
Everyone knows MSH is from South Ossetia
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Doomblade187

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8060 on: May 16, 2018, 12:23:48 pm »

(As MSH is a Georgian, I think he refers to BBQ being used for grilling instead of smoking)
(As MSH is a Georgian
I am literally mobileposting from work to call out this heresy
Everyone knows MSH is from South Ossetia
Darn, so he's not a fellow resident of the peach state? :3
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8061 on: May 16, 2018, 12:24:30 pm »

(As MSH is a Georgian, I think he refers to BBQ being used for grilling instead of smoking)
(As MSH is a Georgian
I am literally mobileposting from work to call out this heresy

I'm sorry, MSH, let me correct myself:

As MSH is Tadsjikistani...
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Egan_BW

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8062 on: May 16, 2018, 12:53:34 pm »

You all disrespect the glory of Best Carolina.
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Jopax

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8063 on: May 16, 2018, 01:19:05 pm »

A watermelon is 90ish% water why the fuck would you grill something that's 90ish% water. It's sole purpose is to be a refreshing summer snack (or in some cases refershing summer snack that gets you hammered if you do the vodka trick).

I'm trying to find a similarly silly comparison but I don't think there's any other foodstuff with that high of a water content.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8064 on: May 16, 2018, 04:42:56 pm »

You realize that unless you're grilling jerky, most cuts of meat will have around 70% water content, give or take? Potentially more if the supplier is cheating and inflating the pieces like is sometimes done with chicken.

There's also cucumber, tomato, pineapple, eggplant, bell peppers... I've definitely seen grilled eggplant and pineapple, not too sure about the others.

Baffler

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8065 on: May 16, 2018, 05:07:28 pm »

A watermelon is 90ish% water why the fuck would you grill something that's 90ish% water. It's sole purpose is to be a refreshing summer snack (or in some cases refershing summer snack that gets you hammered if you do the vodka trick).

I'm trying to find a similarly silly comparison but I don't think there's any other foodstuff with that high of a water content.

I have to agree. It's meant to be crisp, sweet, and refreshing. Complementary to the savory, smoky grilled meats, not supplemental. It'd be like deciding a palette cleanser like an after-dinner salad isn't hearty enough and swapping it out for chili.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8066 on: May 17, 2018, 04:39:37 am »

Dutch marine corps is in trouble. Not only have they been plagued by diminishing numbers of new recruits, now they also face a mass exodus of existing military staff, including officers.
The Dutch government wants to move the marine base from Utrecht to the province of Zeeland. However, the vast majority of the marines' spouses doesn't feel like moving to the sleepy province that has little career perspective. And when forced to choose between their family or their job as marines, the vast majority of marines and officers have stated they will resign from service and choose for their family life if the planned move goes through. Finding a civilian job is easy enough for ex-marines, they are pretty popular employees.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2018, 04:41:29 am by martinuzz »
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8067 on: May 20, 2018, 10:46:06 am »

So, Scottish PM (well, first minister, but that means the same thing) Nicola Sturgeon is considering another vote on Scottish independence once there is more clarity on Brexit.

She’s also concerned how it will work if there is a stark split on a final Brexit vote (if it ever comes to that), citing how there was such a split with Scotland being almost completely remain.
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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8068 on: May 20, 2018, 05:54:31 pm »

As much as I know I shouldn’t, I desperately hope that we drop off the edge of Europe with no negotiations after Bogo eats Merkels kids or something, then Scotland ejects, tries to rejoin, and gets Mufasad by Spain, who are then distracted by a basque/Catalan independence uprising again. Greece defaults on whatever money it’s got again,, Russia takes advantage of Germany spending all its money on propping up the southern states to start taking more chunks out of Ukraine. Donald Trump declares war on the EU in order to force them to raise viagra prices, causing the stock markets to implode. China tries to implode when everyone stops buying their shit cause they’ve got no money, but survives because tolitarian police state, Poland annexes Germany and gets away with it by claiming the Germans  are nazis if they resist, and a United Ireland sails away into the Atlantic in a raft of potatoes while the world burns.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8069 on: May 20, 2018, 06:03:12 pm »

Don't know how that all would work out, since Poland's probably got more Nazis than Germany these days.
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