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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1105225 times)

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1905 on: April 26, 2016, 10:48:07 am »

-imagesnip-
Isn't it cute? I can understand ignoring Baltic states but Poland? Half of Germans want a common border with Russia?

Ah, that feeling of inter-European solidarity. It warms the soul.
Yeah, many of my countrymen suck. I guess it's just old Cold War fear (and, of course, leftover trauma from the end days of WWII) that makes them hear 'Warsaw Pact' whenever someone says 'Russia'.

Interestingly the statistic 'If Germany was attacked by Russia, would you expect the Americans to come to our help?' looks very different.

Could you help me find it? I'm having trouble looking on my aged lhone.

I attempted to google the exact quote and only came up with this thread, seriously. Of course though, that's in english.

And we'd probably say 'What the hell you doing? Get your beer-laden asses in gear!' if you refused to fight. Because really, you'd look dumb as a NATO member.
*I don't know how offensive 'kraut' is these days as I realize it was used with anti-german connotations during WWI and WWII, but I mean it jokingly here.
edit: After googling it a bit, I decided to replace with something funnier.
Hahahaha
We're now pulling that on kraut?
Goodness
At least it's better than saying ISIS has progressive potential and we need to flood Sweden with IS soldiers to drive out intolerance

Just trying to be a diplomatic American here.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1906 on: April 26, 2016, 10:53:53 am »

The American ability to cause zero offence is of zero capabilities

I'm already triggered

*EDIT
I tried looking for your things, but I only found these:
http://www.pewglobal.org/2015/06/10/1-nato-public-opinion-wary-of-russia-leary-of-action-on-ukraine/
Quote
A majority of Poles (57%) say Moscow is behind the violence in Ukraine, as do four-in-ten or more French (44%), Americans (42%) and British (40%). But only roughly three-in-ten Germans and Italians (both 29%) agree. Older Americans (50%) and Brits (45%) are more likely than their younger compatriots (33% of both Americans and British) to blame Russia. And in all but Germany, those who blame Russia for the violence in eastern Ukraine are the most likely to see Russia as a military threat. Few say the responsibility lies with the Ukrainian government itself. And only in Germany (12%) does a double-digit minority believe that the actions of Western governments in Europe and the U.S. are accountable for the hostilities.
The fuck
They blame us? O_O

Quote
Given their contentious history with Russia and their proximity to the fighting in Ukraine, it is not surprising that 74% of Poles hold a favorable opinion of NATO and the security reassurance membership in it provides. Polish support for the alliance is up 10 percentage points from 2013. Six-in-ten or more French (64%), Italians (64%) and British (60%) also hold a favorable view of NATO. However, roughly a third of the French (34%) and about a quarter of Italians (26%) express an unfavorable attitude toward NATO.

The greatest change in support for NATO has been in Germany, where favorability of the alliance has fallen 18 points since 2009, from 73% to 55%. Germans living in the east are divided – 46% see it positively, 43% negatively.

There is also relatively little interest in decreasing sanctions, except in Germany (29%). Most publics – including 53% of both Americans and British – want to keep the penalties about where they are now.

And the bit I think you were referring to smjjames:
Quote
More than half of Americans (56%) and Canadians (53%) are willing to respond to Russian military aggression against a fellow NATO country. A plurality of the British (49%) and Poles (48%) would also live up to their Article 5 commitment. And the Spanish are divided on the issue: 48% support it, 47% oppose.
While some in NATO are reluctant to help aid others attacked by Russia, a median of 68% of the NATO member countries surveyed believe that the U.S. would use military force to defend an ally. The Canadians (72%), Spanish (70%), Germans (68%) and Italians (68%) are the most confident that the U.S. would send military aid. In many countries, young Europeans express the strongest faith in the U.S. to help defend allied countries. The Poles, citizens of the most front-line nation in the survey, have their doubts: 49% think Washington would fulfill its Article 5 obligation, 31% don’t think it would and 20% aren’t sure.
They know everyone else's people would die to defend them so they don't have to

http://www.pewglobal.org/2015/05/07/germany-and-the-united-states-reliable-allies/
This one is also rather neat
I find it funny that 55% of Germans trust Britain as a reliable ally, but only 8% of Germans trust London
Wise move
« Last Edit: April 26, 2016, 11:07:38 am by Loud Whispers »
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1907 on: April 26, 2016, 11:07:55 am »

You're actually indistinguishable from an extreme liberal, and this makes me sad.
>extreme

Nah, I've never met a liberal (no matter what sense you use it) that sounds even vaguely like that. Sergarr is more like a copy of Loud Whisper on his bad days. It's better to just ignore and move on.
Because you are referring to tone and not content

The content also doesn't sound like any liberal ever.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1908 on: April 26, 2016, 11:11:02 am »

The content also doesn't sound like any liberal ever.
Sweden's Green Party 'infiltrated by Islamists'
One party member refused to shake hands with a female journalist, and another compared Israel to Nazi Germany.

3 hours ago
I stopped keeping track of these after the ISIS has progressive potential people because it got boring to me, though my sides did enter orbit when the Swedish Islamaphobia expert joined ISIS
Europe earned its future

*EDIT
The article speaks for itself but
Quote
"I think the Green Party needs to work on their inclusive values," he said. "How do you combine diversity and religion with an ethnocentric and prejudiced idea of gender equality?"
Ahahahahaha
Why didn't you get  T O L E R A N ?
« Last Edit: April 26, 2016, 11:16:54 am by Loud Whispers »
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1909 on: April 26, 2016, 11:19:02 am »

though my sides did enter orbit when the Swedish Islamaphobia expert joined ISIS

Seriously? That's just messed up (the Swedish Islamaphobia expert joining ISIS).
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1910 on: April 26, 2016, 11:26:28 am »

Seriously? That's just messed up (the Swedish Islamaphobia expert joining ISIS).
Nah it's hilarious
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Le smug bork jihad

Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1911 on: April 26, 2016, 07:14:07 pm »

-imagesnip-
Isn't it cute? I can understand ignoring Baltic states but Poland? Half of Germans want a common border with Russia?

Ah, that feeling of inter-European solidarity. It warms the soul.
Yeah, many of my countrymen suck. I guess it's just old Cold War fear (and, of course, leftover trauma from the end days of WWII) that makes them hear 'Warsaw Pact' whenever someone says 'Russia'.

Interestingly the statistic 'If Germany was attacked by Russia, would you expect the Americans to come to our help?' looks very different.

Could you help me find it? I'm having trouble looking on my aged lhone.
Quote
Zugleich gehen 68 Prozent der Deutschen davon aus, dass die USA im Fall eines Angriffs von Russland den Nato-Partnern beistehen würde.
Quote
At the same time 68% of Germans suppose that the US would defend the NATO partners in the case of a Russian attack.
Source. I must say I misremembered - it was about a Russian attack on NATO in general, not about an attack on Germany specifically. Makes it even worse, really.
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The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1912 on: April 27, 2016, 01:52:46 am »

He, they said they think the US would stand by their allies, not that the US should.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Orange Wizard

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1913 on: April 27, 2016, 02:14:45 am »

He, they said they think the US would stand by their allies, not that the US should.
In the words of Winston Churchill, you can always trust the Americans to do the right thing, after they've tried everything else.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Ukrainian Ranger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1914 on: April 27, 2016, 02:46:53 am »

He, they said they think the US would stand by their allies, not that the US should.
In the words of Winston Churchill, you can always trust the Americans to do the right thing, after they've tried everything else.
Do you mean they will nuke Moscow someday and I just need to wait a little longer?
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War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1915 on: April 27, 2016, 02:49:20 am »

>implying that instantly killing millions of people in radioactive fireballs and then dooming some more millions to a slow and painful death from radiation sickness is a "right thing"
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._.

Ukrainian Ranger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1916 on: April 27, 2016, 02:59:02 am »

It is either good thing and will happen or falls into the everything else category and will happen.

PS.
What is the difference between Russian and Ukrainian jokes?

In Russian jokes Ukrainians are stupid and greedy cowards
In Ukrainian jokes Russians are dead
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War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1917 on: April 27, 2016, 03:02:51 am »

>jokes

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1918 on: April 27, 2016, 03:26:20 am »

In mother Russia we joke bears
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Orange Wizard

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1919 on: April 27, 2016, 03:37:26 am »

>implying that instantly killing millions of people in radioactive fireballs and then dooming some more millions to a slow and painful death from radiation sickness is a "right thing"
I don't think Moscow's dense enough for millions to die in the fireball
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.
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