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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1104129 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #405 on: January 22, 2016, 07:09:28 am »

It'll never stand in court. Child judge will verdict that being forcibly separated from parents is much more detrimental to the child's development than having it's parents get beaten up in front of them by riot police every one in a while.
A look at past precedence says no. They tried taking away "Girl J's" children after they found out she was trying to report on her sexual abuse by culturally enriching individuals to the Times.

"The only reason the police started this investigation is because The Times printed my story." The ride never ends.


ALSO IN NEWS THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING CULTURALLY ENRICHED

Russian cheekiness has gone too far, as the inquiry into the polonium poisoning has ruled Putin probably ok'd putting polonium in some poor bloke's tea. Now everything about putting polonium in someone's tea just violates all rules of civility but to top the cheekibreekiness off they sent a t-shirt to one of the victim's friends saying
"CSKA Moscow
Nuclear Death
Is Knocking
Your Door

Polonium 210
London, Hamburg,
To be continued,"

Putin calm the fuck down you're behaving worse than Genghis Khan

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #406 on: January 22, 2016, 07:14:21 am »

Technically, it was an intentional nuclear attack by Russia Putin on NATO soil.
Hmm perhaps we should rename Russia into Putinistan out of respect for decent Russian people.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2016, 07:16:02 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #407 on: January 22, 2016, 08:49:53 am »

French Prime minister Manuel Valls announced in an interview with the BBC, that the National State of Emergency, which has been in effect now for over a month, will last "until the total global war against IS has ended". Which basically could mean years or decades.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-35375303
http://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/valls-franse-noodtoestand-van-kracht-tot-oorlog-tegen-is-voorbij-is~a4230192/

So far, one month of National Emergency has led to 90 house searches by anti terror forces per day, without any judge's permission. A total of 2721 houses were searched since 13 december, which led to two legal investigations into terrorist networks.
During the searches, 434 weapons were found, 210 stashes of drugs, and 25 violations connected to terrorism.
361 people have been given house arrest, 319 people were arrested, of whom 48 were convicted by summary justice. The vast majority of all cases involved 'apologizing terrorism', which is a crime in France.
http://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/een-maand-noodtoestand-in-frankrijk-90-huiszoekingen-per-dag~a4209119/

(So I guess technically it's okay to say "being indoctrinated by muslim extremism and anti-western sentiment from birth, some people go so bonkers that they shoot many people in Paris",
but it is not okay to say "I could even understand that some people have been so indoctrinated by mulsim extremism and anti-western sentiment from birth, that they go to Paris and shoot many people")
« Last Edit: January 22, 2016, 08:56:18 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

scrdest

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #408 on: January 22, 2016, 11:42:01 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Islamists having bants in Europe are just symptoms of the various insanities afflicting Europeans. The Poles are accusing German admins of having deleted CCTV footage surrounding Cologne, I can't find anything on it (literally, searches return nothing at all), I have to use proxies to find sources and they're all Polish bloggers talking about their national TV news I can't fully understand.
I've come to the conclusion that if we fixed this humanitarian crisis and stopped Islamists from having their checki bants, Europeans are so weak the power vacuum would just be filled by the next strong horse, like street nazis, and if they were eliminated they'd just be replaced by the next strong horse, like toleran. Then we'd be back to square one.

I can see results, but it's all reddit and twitter, and other sketchy places. I did find the Polish TV source though, not that I can verify that the subtitles are accurate.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b1b_1452579086&comments=1&selected_view_mode=mobile&selected_view_mode=desktop
They are pretty accurate. Some lines are not subbed, but it doesn't affect the meaning of the whole sentence, it just cuts some verbal cruft at the beginning of sentences (as in, stuff like 'I'll add' or whatever).
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #409 on: January 22, 2016, 03:30:24 pm »

The Spanish prime minister Mariano Rajoy has returned the assignment given to him, to form a government, to the king of Spain.
This is not unexpected. Even though Rajoy's party did win the last elections, but they lost the absolute majority.

The Spanish leader of the socialists, Pedro Sanchéz announced, even before Rajoy announced his failure to form a government, that he is prepared to start negotiations on forming a left wing coalition government with Podemos (the protest party, comparible to the Greek Syriza party).
This does imply that the socialist party and Podemos have come to agree on the most important differences in opinion between the parties.
The socalists said earlier that they would not form a government with Podemos, because Podemos is willing to hold public referendums about the secession of Catalonia.

Whether this means that Podemos dropped that willingness, or the socialists dropped their objections on the subject is as of yet unclear.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

WealthyRadish

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #410 on: January 22, 2016, 09:49:07 pm »

Cultural-marxist hippies are sassing brave defenders of the Aryan master race.

Hard to tell from just the subtitles, but the miloltia types were on patrol looking for suspiciously arab-looking people, and the clowns were making fun of them? And this is Finland, right?
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #411 on: January 23, 2016, 12:35:14 am »


Whether this means that Podemos dropped that willingness, or the socialists dropped their objections on the subject is as of yet unclear.
And United
Probably the first. Although word on the street is that Podemos' support will cost the PSOE.

These two, btw, are still short of support. They'll need the two MP of United Left, and at least one other, probably the Basque Nationalist Party.
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Spehss _

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #412 on: January 23, 2016, 02:17:20 am »

Cultural-marxist hippies are sassing brave defenders of the Aryan master race.

Hard to tell from just the subtitles, but the miloltia types were on patrol looking for suspiciously arab-looking people, and the clowns were making fun of them? And this is Finland, right?
Apparently. "Soldiers of Odin" is a vigilante group in Finland, and the people in clown costumes are people in clown costumes valiantly passive-aggressively protesting racism, sexism, and bigotry. In my opinion all that's gonna do is increase tensions between extreme right and extreme left.

The like:dislike ratio of that video is interesting. Either people don't like the clowning around or don't like the vigilante group. Or maybe they support the vigilante group and don't like the clowns. Or maybe both.
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nullBolt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #413 on: January 23, 2016, 06:05:24 am »

War refugees from Ukraine have been denied asylum in Germany despite chunks of Ukraine being, effectively, an active war zone.
Hungary and South African Boer farmers are currently in talks to discuss moving Boer farmers to vacant farmland in Hungary.

Keep in mind that I'm pretty certain the New Observer is very right wing, and their viewpoints are not necessarily mine. It's just hard to find news like this except for obscure sites. Definitely interesting and a bit different.

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #414 on: January 23, 2016, 07:03:09 am »

ALSO IN NEWS THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING CULTURALLY ENRICHED

Russian cheekiness has gone too far, as the inquiry into the polonium poisoning has ruled Putin probably ok'd putting polonium in some poor bloke's tea. Now everything about putting polonium in someone's tea just violates all rules of civility but to top the cheekibreekiness off they sent a t-shirt to one of the victim's friends saying
"CSKA Moscow
Nuclear Death
Is Knocking
Your Door

Polonium 210
London, Hamburg,
To be continued,"

Putin calm the fuck down you're behaving worse than Genghis Khan
Well that's just uncivilized. This is the kind of behaviour that has recently made me dislike the self-proclaimed Russian patriots/nationalists as much as the self-proclaimed democrats/liberals... you can't build a state on semi-open banditry like that.
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Ukrainian Ranger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #415 on: January 23, 2016, 07:14:18 am »

Quote
War refugees from Ukraine have been denied asylum in Germany despite chunks of Ukraine being, effectively, an active war zone.
Denying Ukrainians is not racism so it is perfectly fine :D

To be more serious denying Ukrainians is absolutely right - unlike Syria, Ukrainians have no problem to move to a perfectly safe area of a country. 
Sure, no one will pay free ~1000 euro per month per family here...

Still I am interested what EU will do if Russia will move further and there will be very real millions of Ukrainians fleeing the war.
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nullBolt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #416 on: January 23, 2016, 07:23:55 am »

Quote
War refugees from Ukraine have been denied asylum in Germany despite chunks of Ukraine being, effectively, an active war zone.
Denying Ukrainians is not racism so it is perfectly fine :D

To be more serious denying Ukrainians is absolutely right - unlike Syria, Ukrainians have no problem to move to a perfectly safe area of a country. 
Sure, no one will pay free ~1000 euro per month per family here...

Still I am interested what EU will do if Russia will move further and there will be very real millions of Ukrainians fleeing the war.

I'm not sure on the refugee stuff but, as far as I know, being able to fear for your life in the future is considered a legitimate reason to flee a country. As is conscription which I think Ukraine has, right?

You have to think that, to get to Germany, Syrians have to go through a lot of safe countries, including ones outside the EU. So to deny Ukrainians who have a very legitimate reason to flee for their lives is hypocritical.

Jopax

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #417 on: January 23, 2016, 07:27:46 am »

It'd be pretty hillarious in a black comedy sort of way if we started seeing Ukranians with forged Syrian documents trying to get into the EU.

At that point we'd need a sign on the border saying "You have to be this culturaly diverse to be granted asylum" and then some images of cultural diversity :V
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nullBolt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #418 on: January 23, 2016, 07:34:42 am »

REPORT: Locals Fled Pool After Migrants Masturbated Into Jacuzzi, Defecated Into Kid’s Pool, Invaded Girls Changing Rooms
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A German swimming bath has banned migrants from entering the premises after a group of men went on an obscene rampage, laughing in the faces of pool staff when challenged about their grotesque behaviour.

A group of migrant men and women were caught on security camera at the Johannisbad baths in Zwickau, Saxony engaging in unacceptable behaviour, including masturbating into the jacuzzi. In separate incidents other groups of migrants were caught “contaminating” the children’t training pool by “emptying their bowels in the water”, and sexually assaulting other bathers, reports Bild.

The allegations against the migrant bathers has come to light thanks to a leaked internal letter from the Zwickau Town Hall, between the chief clerk to his department head, reproduced in part by German tabloid Bild. Writing of the historic swimming pool’s decision to close their doors to migrants until further notice, Rainer Kallweit wrote this week of a shocking incident which has left the baths abandoned by local swimmers.

In his report, the authenticity of which has since been confirmed by the city administration Mr. Kallweit wrote the shocking words:

“An asylum seeker has masturbated in the hot tub and ejaculated into the basin. This is also recorded on the surveillance camera”. He wrote that the group desecrating the jacuzzi, having been thrown out by the lifeguards later returned took “selfies” of themselves while they were in the tub, “jeering” the whole time.

Writing of another pool under his jurisdiction in the down of Zwickau, the town employee continued to say a group of “young unaccompanied women and children” used the children’s training pool, as none of the party could swim. He wrote, in classic civil servants language they “contaminated the pool by getting rid of the contents of their intestines. Native people immediately left the pool”.

This was not the only assault on the pool. The day before, wrote Mr. Wallweit “8 foreign men … in the sauna” harassed locals, forcing pool staff to pretend the Sauna was out of action when enquiries were made my migrant men, if there were at that time local women using it. He told his superiors: “furthermore, the lifeguards have to protect women and girls from the asylum seekers. Young men wanted to forcibly penetrate the female changing room”.

Police are now investigating the allegations, and in future will be called immediately in case of such behaviour.

The local radio station reports the actions of the migrants has caused “outrage”, and a number of sexual harassment of women and girls by migrants has been reported. Migrants have now been banned from the pool until they can be educated at the migrant centres about “behaviour towards woman and girls in swimwear” and the “user regulations of our baths”.

This behaviour in Zwickau is not by any means unique in Germany. Breitbart London has reported on a number of sex attacks on children in swimming baths over the past week, with girls as young as 11 and boys as young as three being targeted by migrant gangs. On one occasion in Munich, a pair of young girls enjoying the waterslide at their local pool were groped, “allegedly under their bathing suits”, “and possibly raped” by a gang of “refugees”.

The men believed to be responsible, Syrian and Afghan asylum seekers, were arrested and released by police.

It's Breitbart who have taken it from the Bild, so take it as you will. Emphasis mine.

It'd be pretty hillarious in a black comedy sort of way if we started seeing Ukranians with forged Syrian documents trying to get into the EU.

At that point we'd need a sign on the border saying "You have to be this culturaly diverse to be granted asylum" and then some images of cultural diversity :V

Nothing would shock me any more. I know of a few people who've done something similar in the UK to claim benefits.

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #419 on: January 23, 2016, 09:30:06 am »

REPORT: Locals Fled Pool After Migrants Masturbated Into Jacuzzi, Defecated Into Kid’s Pool, Invaded Girls Changing Rooms
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*snip news article of crazy*

It's Breitbart who have taken it from the Bild, so take it as you will. Emphasis mine.


If actually true, then they should have asked those people if they would do those same acts in their home countries and if no, then ask why the hell they would do that here.....
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