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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1104371 times)

nullBolt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #225 on: January 19, 2016, 04:39:32 pm »

Honestly, I was immediately suspicious. I'd've preferred to be able to read it, though.
Those sites never existed in the first place. It was made out of whole cloth. Straight from the fundament. VERITAS EX CULO.

And you would have loved to read it.

I had a sneaking suspicion this was the case when I googled them and nothing came up. Dead sites don't work like that. But, again, I wasn't going to call you a lying bugger until I had evidence of it. Because that's polite.

Of course I would have. It'd've been interesting.

Propose we rename the thread to "Europol REAL Truth Thread: Kebab Can't Melt Braunschweiger!"

I'll go back to now to the Ameripol thread where we're contemplating electing a guy who thinks he can build a giant 3,000 mile wall and get the people he's walling off to pay for it. And that seems sane by comparison.

I do like the idea of an American Hadrian's Wall. We could do with an updated one to keep the Scottish locked in.

Ukrainian Ranger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #226 on: January 19, 2016, 04:40:53 pm »

Quote
Don't believe anything the media says and you're much more likely to get the truth.
Your "truth" is what you want to believe in and nothing more.
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War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.

nullBolt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #227 on: January 19, 2016, 04:42:58 pm »

Quote
Don't believe anything the media says and you're much more likely to get the truth.
Your "truth" is what you want to believe in and nothing more.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You can believe that if it makes you more comfortable, but I assure you that's not the case.

Reelya

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #228 on: January 19, 2016, 04:56:55 pm »

One thing I'm upset by is this creeping insistence that food all be halal. Even apples are halal! I promote creating a pork-fat based coating on all fruits and vegetables to counter this halal thing. There needs to be some kickback against this.

SirQuiamus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #229 on: January 19, 2016, 04:58:13 pm »

Honestly, I was immediately suspicious. I'd've preferred to be able to read it, though.
Those sites never existed in the first place. It was made out of whole cloth. Straight from the fundament. VERITAS EX CULO.

And you would have loved to read it.

I had a sneaking suspicion this was the case when I googled them and nothing came up. Dead sites don't work like that. But, again, I wasn't going to call you a lying bugger until I had evidence of it. Because that's polite.
Ya silly, silly goose! :D

You could have just said "those numbers look made-up and physically impossible" without even looking at the (non-existent) sources! That wouldn't have been impolite.

Why didn't you do it? Would you believe that shit if it was on Baitfart? No, of course not, m8. ;D
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nullBolt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #230 on: January 19, 2016, 05:00:24 pm »

One thing I'm upset by is this creeping insistence that food all be halal. Even apples are halal! I promote creating a pork-fat based coating on all fruits and vegetables to counter this halal thing. There needs to be some kickback against this.

My main problem is how inhumane halal slaughters are compared to how it's normally done. They're really horrible.

Ya silly, silly goose! :D

You could have just said "those numbers look made-up and physically impossible" without even looking at the (non-existent) sources! That wouldn't have been impolite.

Why didn't you do it? Would you believe that shit if it was on Baitfart? No, of course not, m8. ;D

Again, I don't believe anything from the media, at least not wholly.

Calling you a liar is different to calling a site a liar. Judge me harshly for that if you will.

wobbly

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #231 on: January 19, 2016, 05:01:45 pm »

One thing I'm upset by is this creeping insistence that food all be halal. Even apples are halal! I promote creating a pork-fat based coating on all fruits and vegetables to counter this halal thing. There needs to be some kickback against this.

Perhaps you'll be happy to know vegemite is no longer kosher? (presumably it's not halal either).
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Bouchart

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #232 on: January 19, 2016, 05:08:39 pm »

One thing I'm upset by is this creeping insistence that food all be halal. Even apples are halal! I promote creating a pork-fat based coating on all fruits and vegetables to counter this halal thing. There needs to be some kickback against this.

Well in the past few years there's been this insistence to add bacon to everything, so...
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nullBolt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #233 on: January 19, 2016, 05:10:17 pm »

One thing I'm upset by is this creeping insistence that food all be halal. Even apples are halal! I promote creating a pork-fat based coating on all fruits and vegetables to counter this halal thing. There needs to be some kickback against this.

Well in the past few years there's been this insistence to add bacon to everything, so...

I have to say I've noticed the price of chicken skyrocketing and the price of pork dropping like a rock.

It's pretty good when you can get two meals worth of pork shoulder steaks for £1.79.

RedKing

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #234 on: January 19, 2016, 05:14:16 pm »

One thing I'm upset by is this creeping insistence that food all be halal. Even apples are halal! I promote creating a pork-fat based coating on all fruits and vegetables to counter this halal thing. There needs to be some kickback against this.
Sounds like people complaining when American shops have bilingual signs. It's called "recognizing growth markets".
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #235 on: January 19, 2016, 05:16:02 pm »

One thing I'm upset by is this creeping insistence that food all be halal. Even apples are halal! I promote creating a pork-fat based coating on all fruits and vegetables to counter this halal thing. There needs to be some kickback against this.
Why not all Halal?
Only opposition is based off either traditionalism or petty animal welfare concerns who can't handle enrichment

Quote
Don't believe anything the media says and you're much more likely to get the truth.
Your "truth" is what you want to believe in and nothing more.
No - for example during the coverup for the last 15 years with the checki rape gangs, whether you believed in it or not when it all came to light come 2013 there was a truth there that existed independently of whether you believed in it m9

Propose we rename the thread to "Europol REAL Truth Thread: Kebab Can't Melt Braunschweiger!"
I'll go back to now to the Ameripol thread where we're contemplating electing a guy who thinks he can build a giant 3,000 mile wall and get the people he's walling off to pay for it. And that seems sane by comparison.
Keep us noted if Cruz manages to absorb the Eagle's strength by mating with it to challenge the wizard that dwells within the Tower of Trump

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
If several independent 95% sources claim something - it is true\very likely to be true. If 95% source claim one thing, and 5% source claim another, then you should stick with 95%

Not go "everyone lies" and read just everything and try to make a "truth" out of it. Your brain will create patterns that fit your mentality.

Having one authority is bad, having no authorities is much worse.
Such mental lists is retarded and prone to abuse, having one authority is objectively worse than having no authorities - with none, information battles it out on the free mediums, whilst with one authority you get one narrative controlled with more ease by one power.

Just look at things on a case by case basis. For example I consider Al Jazeera, BBC, Guardian, Independent, Times, Telegraph e.t.c. to be respectable and reliable, yet I would not for a moment take them for granted as being implacable, incorruptible, impartial bastions of truth.

I think now of all times we can see where even supposedly respectable and trustworthy "sources" are never a viable substitute for primary sources and your own scrutiny. Consider the new year checki bants in Sweden and Germany only coming to light when independent bloggers forced the media and police to actually report on the mad damn bants.

My main problem is how inhumane halal slaughters are compared to how it's normally done. They're really horrible.
One thing to note is that halal is at its core the slitting of the animal's throat with the animal unaware of its approaching death (so it can't see the knife or signs of previous slaughter). It's not as humane as boltguns, it's still second best. Much of the uproar over inhumane halal abattoirs have actually done things that make them haram, such as kicking the animal in the face or showing them the knife. Teaching these butchers how to actually perform a proper halal slaughtering would be more ethical, though I suppose teaching them how to use a boltgun would also do the trick.

EDIT*
Quote
Staff laughing over a sheep bleeding to death with spectacles drawn around its eyes in green paint.
Just saying this is not exactly how to properly conduct a halal slaughter
« Last Edit: January 19, 2016, 05:19:04 pm by Loud Whispers »
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Graknorke

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #236 on: January 19, 2016, 05:17:09 pm »

Even apples are halal!
I guess technically? But if someone couldn't figure that out without being told maybe they should hold off on eating until they learn the difference between a plant and an animal.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #237 on: January 19, 2016, 05:19:28 pm »

Last year, a Dutch citizens initiative, 'Geen Peil' got enough signatures to force our government to hold a public referendum on the question whether the EU should go ahead and form the trade and association agreement with the Ukraine. The referendum will be held in april.

Today, Geen Peil recieved a video message, threatening the Dutch population with terrorist attacks if we vote 'no'.
In the video, masked men threaten in both ukrainian and english, that there will be chaos in the Netherlands if we vote no. "Don't dare to go against us, or it will end badly for you. We will find you everywhere. At the movies, at your work, in your bedrooms, in public transportation! We have people all over the Netherlands, ready and waiting for our orders". At the end of the video a Dutch flag is burned.
https://youtu.be/c5YJGKs3AUo

The video is made in the style of the Azov batallion, an unltranationalist unit of voluonteers that are fighting pro-Russian rebels, and the men in the video claim to speak on their behalf.

Ukrainian minister Avakov told our ambassador that the video must be fake, and is only meant as a provocation to instill anti-Ukrainian sentiment in the Netherlands. According to him, this would be in line with the 'hybrid war' that Russia is fighting in the Ukraine.

Former commander of the Azov battalion, now a member of parliament, Andri Byletski, says the video cannot originate from the Azov batallion. According to him, the men in the video are carrying firearms in an unprofessional manner, which his unit would never do.
https://youtu.be/OEQxJlPhqaw
An indication of the threat video being fake, is the fact that even though the man speaks ukrainian, he does so with a Russian accent.

http://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/geenpeil-krijgt-filmpje-van-nep-oekrainers~a4228447/
« Last Edit: January 19, 2016, 05:22:57 pm by martinuzz »
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nullBolt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #238 on: January 19, 2016, 05:22:34 pm »

One thing to note is that halal is at its core the slitting of the animal's throat with the animal unaware of its approaching death (so it can't see the knife or signs of previous slaughter). It's not as humane as boltguns, it's still second best. Much of the uproar over inhumane halal abattoirs have actually done things that make them haram, such as kicking the animal in the face or showing them the knife. Teaching these butchers how to actually perform a proper halal slaughtering would be more ethical, though I suppose teaching them how to use a boltgun would also do the trick.

EDIT*
Quote
Staff laughing over a sheep bleeding to death with spectacles drawn around its eyes in green paint.
Just saying this is not exactly how to properly conduct a halal slaughter

It's the lack of stunning that causes the problem, really. Regardless of how effective you are, the animal will recognise it's just got it's throat slit and it's bleeding out on the floor. I'm not sure it's economically viable to clean up all evidence of slaughter after each slaughter anymore.

Even boltgun slaughters use stunning now despite the fact that, by all evidence, the animal will be instantly killed when shot through the head.

The whole thing seems like it's just, "But that's not the real Islam."

Ukrainian Ranger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #239 on: January 19, 2016, 05:26:28 pm »

Azov is anti-EU. They have little to no interest to stop such referendum.

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War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.
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