"How is it that nobody has any bloody idea about we're supposed to do here? Didn't you contract the Legion in the first place, dumbass? Or is there another "innkeepers' guild" in town? None of this ring any bells? None at all? I'm genuinely confused here, Frank! I want to help you!"
He ponders how to explain everything more clearly to this guy. Fucking goblins, man.
"Okay, let's start over. My 'boss', as you call him, was some random filthy gobshite, a human no less, wearing a suit of bargain-quality half plate. Works with some other waste of air called Hendricks who looks like he was trying to shave and missed. They're apparently Omega Legion. And I'm apparently Omega Legion, too. And someone from the Innkeepers' Guild in Dobbiton apparently contacted the Legion to obtain security for something called the Festival of Alchaeus. That's apparently you, Frank, or somebody you know."
"So the question is, do you know what I'm talking about? Are you Frank? Is this the right place? Am I in some kind of waking nightmare? Can people really be this stupid? I'm so very full of questions, you see!"
Let's try this again.
If he still doesn't get it, leave him be and sit down somewhere until the rain starts to clear.
Frank lets out a little roar. it makes you jump just a little. "Omega Legion! They sent us Omega Legion for security!" He stomps off to the bar. "Sandra! Run and fetch the others. Gods damned it, woman, put down the glass and go. I don't care about your tip, this is important." he turns to you, seething. "No, we did NOT contact Omega legion. We contacted the Queen's Service. They were supposed to send us a real garrison squad, not a bunch of loonies likely to cause more trouble than the Festival itself! Why in the third Pandemonium Lord's right ass cheek would we send for Omega?!" And with that, Frank stomps off into another room, swearing and cursing. You learn something interesting about your mother. Couldn't be true, really.
"SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Beat out the flames the normal way rather than magically, and take this as a lesson Jack should not CWE(Cast While Exhausted) 
Flames extinguished. Your sleeve has a hole in it now, but you are unharmed.
==Only team in this thread==
BBTBMSM Simmie
Crivens, I dinnae, tha' oth'r bottle was empty, some o' th' scunners got ta them afore me. See, lad, Imma sensible feegle I am, so we can com-pri-mizze, I gie ye ae bottle back, but this one 's arredy mine.
Return one bottle to the dwarf, but if he tries to take the other one, snarl in warning, "Wachit, I sed thi' one 's arredy mine. If ye try ta gettit, thar'be verra big trooble. Donnae push it, bigjob, this be ye las' warnin'!"
If he persists, bite his hand, run up his arm, headbutt him in the nose, and fight for the bottle until the dwarf gives up, collapses, or one of them is dead. If others come, break the dwarf's bottle and use it to slash and pierce at hands, wrists, throats, Achilles' tendons and eyes. This is a fight to the death, Simmie will only let his bottle be taken away over his literal dead body.
Okay. So you've declared an intention to fight to the death. You have, according to my spreadsheet and the OP, a will of -1. This means that even if you wish to back out, it's gonna be a hard roll to do so. Especially given the circumstances, being a fight over booze and all, and you being somewhat drunk as well. Anyway, the Dwarf does indeed push the issue, so combat time it is.
(2v 3) He gets the first swing it at you (1) which you take right in the chest,, being sent flying. You land rather hard, but get up a moment later, and charge. (1 v 6) Unfortunately, this charge ends with you leaping into the path of his fist as he brings it around. Yo lose possession of one of your bottles. You have one left. (6) The dwarf drops a bottle and picks up his club. It's an ugly, weathered club. it looks like it's been used like this before. As does the dwarf. The crowd is gathering again, making a ring and shouting about the fight, the fire apparently already forgotten. (2) You swing your empty at the ground, attempting to break it, but get a bad bounce in the dirt. You still have a blunt weapon at this point.
Cho-Ja
Attempt to remember why we were here in the first place.
Then go help myself to whatever food and drink is left behind the bar.
(5) you just get the best rolls on the oddest rolls. Anyway, you remember that you were supposed to help these people for some reason. the bar is unguarded, and there is a commotion brewing outside. You find some meat that humans would describe as "a bit off," but which to you is ripening just fine, and combine that with a quantity of beer.
Author
Topic: Omega Legion Team One: Pictsie Down. (Read 29383 times)