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[crazyabe]

Balrog + K inquisitors: Go attack Kinesis, Loot and Kill everyone and thing!!!
I: Mutate Skyies komodo dragon, This time I make Love the taste of human blood.
70 cultists: build a bunker over the Balrog's house.
35 cultists: Start looking for Necromantic Magic.
other 35: Enter Skyies Cult and Kill some people.

[Hiddenleafguy]

fak. Action didn't post.

Kool Aid is flammable.

You forgot Hiddenleafguy's turn.

...Try that again.

Actually, he didn't, quote is just fucked up so it's all quoted.

[Hiddenleafguy]

Send my leader cultists to get a famous movie producer to make a movie about the Tax Goat, with Morgan Freeman as a narrator.

Spoiler: Spoiler that Skies is NOT allowed to read (click to show/hide)

Whisper into then minds of Skies inquisitors that I can help them defeat him.

[Evonix]

Me: hollow out an inactive volcano. i need a secret lair make the entrance secret maybe you have to push a certain fossil on a certain vertical rock face to enter.

5: Bloddy boatmurdured
+Volcano base

Send my leader cultists to get a famous movie producer to make a movie about the Tax Goat, with Morgan Freeman as a narrator.

Spoiler: Spoiler that Skies is NOT allowed to read (click to show/hide)

Whisper into then minds of Skies inquisitors that I can help them defeat him.

1: You know the drill... ("You should really fire your PR department" "What PR department?" "well there's your problem")
1: I think you are just bad with people, anyway they are a group expressly agenced extradimensional horrors attempting to enslave, destroy, sell humanity.
-PR +skies inquisitors

fak. Action didn't post.

Kool Aid is flammable.

You forgot Hiddenleafguy's turn.

...Try that again.

Actually, he didn't, quote is just fucked up so it's all quoted.

1: some enemy cultist gets a match on one of the flamethrowers/bombs, they go off like a string of firecrackers.
(It's not me, the it's just the dice that hate you, also kool-aid doesn't burn)
-flamethrowers and such cultists

Send Orb of Stalwart to Tax Goat.

(why did you put your turn in two posts? And the orb was safer where you had it, anyway)
6: You push the ball off the pedestal, it goes through the only remaining original wall, rolls down the soap slope which conveniently leads to tax goat's area and continues rolling when it reaches the base and is lost in the woods somewhere.
-orb of stalwart 1

Balrog + K inquisitors: Go attack Kinesis, Loot and Kill everyone and thing!!!
I: Mutate Skyies komodo dragon, This time I make Love the taste of human blood.
70 cultists: build a bunker over the Balrog's house.
35 cultists: Start looking for Necromantic Magic.
other 35: Enter Skyies Cult and Kill some people.

2: They go "Ooh" and "ahh" at your magnificent handywork instead.
5: The lizard gains a taste for the stuff, it considers bottling it ("Screaming peasants" april 2016, "bloated plutocrat" august 2016), anyway it reenacts this
4: They make a small sturdy bunker, although it won't withstand a grenade and up it will protect you agenced angry peasants and small arms fire.
5: They find a zombie plague optimized for use by extra dimensional intelligences, it will spread like the traditional zombie plague but will be under your psychic command.




Tax goat^TM
Followers:A skunk. The 5th segment of a man 'O' war. Some slime mold on a banana, 50 hidden cultists, 80 cultists with you, 48 heavily armed cultists(At Skyies base), 15 leader cultists, 5 cultists in high places, pro speaker.
Items: Access to orb of stalwart 1, Dragon's blood, purge ritual, Magnificent Palace in home plane
haters: skies inquisitors
PR: The town of belford thinks you are an alright guy, Brand awareness, terrible PR

Kinesis
Followers: 25 cultists
You: summoned
Items: Orb of Stalwart 3, Incompetence-B-gone [1] charges (makes a roll a forgone conclusion), Volcano base

Haters: 50 inquisitors, ritual of banishment, purge ritual
PR: bad PR, disliked by humanity, card carrying villain
Areas: NY crater, flaming Roperary^TM surrounding NY crater(Need to roll to find anything in it or move through)

Skyies
Followers: 9 cultists in high places, 100 trained heavily armed cultists, trained komodo dragon, 52 lightly armed very well trained cultists, 50 armored armed trained cultists, 50 trained cultists, merc squad(200 heavily armed trained cultists), 50 lightly armed boring cultists, armed cultists are on guard
You: Summoned, wounded
Items:Dragon's blood (You are pleased by the name), damaged reinforced barn with 48 heavily armed guards, tungsten, graphene, 2 light weapons, Training facility, Invincible wood rune, 50 armor
PR: Servant to Tax goat, -PR with scientists
Haters: 20 inquisitors in high places, 76 inquisitors, 100 researcher inquisitors, NULL crystal, found orb of stalwart one.
Misc.: local law enforcement insane.

Bont da lifas
You: Summoned, wounded
Followers: Kinesis inquisitor alliance, 140 cultists, comatose balrog
Items: Orb of Stalwart 2 with summoning platform, Trapped temple base flooded with kool-aid, some money, dragon's blood, weapons cache location, subterranean mansion, scrap.
PR: Bad PR
Events: Kinesis attack/inconvenience needed in <[1] turns

World
Locations/landmarks: -New york city, Tortoise temple
Pop: 7 bill - 8 mill (I should total up all the cultist and inquisitor deaths too)
Events: Election in [10] turns
Misc: "Inquisitor con" where inquisitors convene, helicopters have replaced cars, Tactical nuke somewhere
I feel like i am thinking through treakal


will updates stats pwoply tworo

[Hiddenleafguy]

Wait..... I just realized, my luck got bad when I got a slave.... DAMNIT CIVIL WAR!

[Hiddenleafguy]

I was trying to trick them! And it was never explicitly mentioned.

[carp]

ME: recruit "come on live in utmost privacy with mountain top views at kinesis secret base*"
^{*must be prapared to die if not accepted for application, if you are abalrog your room will be driectly linked to the lava chambe WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE.}

[Hiddenleafguy]

Hey, it's not my fault YOU got so many people to hate you!

[Hiddenleafguy]

Hey, it's not my fault YOU got so many people to hate you!

With all my haters, I still have second best PR!

Hey! I... Order you to support me politically.

[Evonix]

post your actions pleas evrybody

[crazyabe]

Balrog: go beat on Skyies face!
Everyone else: attack Kinesis!
Me: convert my inquisitors into cultists!

[Hiddenleafguy]

Send 15 leader cultists to recruit, while advertising the Tax Goat as a figure who will bring more jobs.

[Evonix]

Send 15 leader cultists to recruit, while advertising the Tax Goat as a figure who will bring more jobs.

2: Considering what's happened lately they just stay home and study what went wrong all those other times.

Balrog: go beat on Skyies face!
Everyone else: attack Kinesis!
Me: convert my inquisitors into cultists!

5: Epic battles are like... air for balrogs, and truly it is, 200 cream of the crop fighters with almost enuff dakka(The rest seem to be missing, off at a rally or something) vs the embodiment of the fiery depths: The Balrog wades in through bombs and kinetic death while burning bright enough to vaporise bullets before they hit, roaring to shake the earth and dancing with almost balletic grace as the guards put the nigh unmeltable tungsten stores to great use. As the day went on the balrog began to tire, the few seconds while the remaining guards bullets still carried some force was enough to both force it back and physically force it back. It runs off into a second sunset.
4: 140 cultists take turns with one punch each, kinisis cultists manage to lever them off before mortal wounds were afflicted.
3: The inquisitors ignore your whining, some passers by seem interested though
+25 cultists, Kinisis heavily wounded, balrog lightly wounded, skies wounded, remaining mercenaries quit

Fk, my action didn't post...

Me: Go into the city and try to rally everyone around to attack Kinesis. Make a speech about how he is a threat to the world! He could kill your kids next! Or burn down your house! Join in the assault, but try to let the civilians take the brunt of the attack.

Cultists: Switch off on guarding the house. The ones who aren't on guard train instead.

1: You get a nasty burn before you outpace the balrog as you just sent all the guards away. Anyway the populous figures if kinesis is a enemy of you then it's a friend of them
6: Your cultists dutifully stop guarding leaving only the mercenarys defending themselves, they do get some training done though
Untrained cultists now trained, +kinisis PR

Inquisitors: Arm yourselves
1: They get mugged looking for stuff on the black market and the captors don't seem keen to let go.
10 inquisitors in high places being held ransom

ME: recruit "come on live in utmost privacy with mountain top views at kinesis secret base*"
^{*must be prapared to die if not accepted for application, if you are abalrog your room will be driectly linked to the lava chambe WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE.}

2: They think it's an invitation to a play. They go home satisfied with the wonderful tornado special effects.

Inquisitors: finish him off
3: They don't manage to get to him but do mow a few cultists
-10 cultists


Tax goat^TM
Followers:A skunk. The 5th segment of a man 'O' war. Some slime mold on a banana, 50 hidden cultists, 80 cultists with you, 48 heavily armed trained cultists(At Skyies base), 15 leader cultists, 5 cultists in high places, pro speaker.
Items: Access to orb of stalwart 1, Dragon's blood, purge ritual, Magnificent Palace in home plane
haters: skies inquisitors
PR: The town of belford thinks you are an alright guy, Brand awareness, terrible PR

Kinesis
Followers: 15 cultists
You: summoned, heavily wounded
Items: Orb of Stalwart 3, Incompetence-B-gone [1] charges (makes a roll a forgone conclusion), Volcano base
Haters: 50 inquisitors, ritual of banishment, purge ritual
PR: disliked by humanity, card carrying villain
Areas: NY crater, flaming Roperary^TM surrounding NY crater(Need to roll to find anything in it or move through)

Skyies
Followers: 9 trained cultists in high places, 100 trained heavily armed cultists, trained giant bloodthirsty komodo dragon, 52 lightly armed very well trained cultists, 50 armored armed trained cultists, 50 trained cultists, 50 lightly armed trained boring cultists, armed cultists are on guard
You: Summoned, wounded
Items:Dragon's blood (You are pleased by the name), damaged reinforced barn with 48 heavily armed guards, tungsten, graphene, 2 light weapons, Training facility, Invincible wood rune, 50 armor
PR: Servant to Tax goat, -PR with scientists
Haters: 20 inquisitors in high places (10 held ransom), 76 inquisitors, 100 researcher inquisitors, NULL crystal.
Misc.: local law enforcement insane.

Bont da lifas
You: Summoned, wounded
Followers: Kinesis inquisitor alliance, 165 cultists, balrog lightly wounded
Items: Orb of Stalwart 2 with summoning platform, Trapped temple base flooded with kool-aid, some money, dragon's blood, weapons cache location, subterranean mansion, scrap.
PR: Bad PR
Events: Kinesis attack/inconvenience needed in <[3] turns

World
Locations/landmarks: -New york city, Tortoise temple
Pop: 7 bill - 8 mill (I should total up all the cultist and inquisitor deaths too)
Events: Election in [9] turns
Misc: "Inquisitor con" where inquisitors convene, helicopters have replaced cars, Tactical nuke somewhere

[carp]

ME: STRIKE THE EARTH use every ounce of my concentrated telekinesis to slam the inquisitors several kilometers into the ground (say they liked that guy you all hate) 

[Evonix]

I do need actions to do